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Am I overreacting?

A

always crazy bacon

Banned
I had a collegue like that, we'd go for lunch, she'd always choose an expensive place and say she'd pay tomorrow. However she would dissapear for the rest of the week. She only pulled that stunt twice before I stopped having lunch with her.
 
Dude Abides

Dude Abides

Banned
Make up some rough approximation of how much you've paid for him, but make it a real exact number so it seems like you actually added it up, and demand that he pay up.
 
W

Wood Man

Member
What does this guy carry in his wallet? Does he also never have ID on him? Wouldn't be awkward if you forgot your money too?
 
D

Dr.Acula

Banned
If I ever had a thing where my coworker or I were short and we spotted each other, the affected party would just get the other person lunch the next time. It's not that hard.

OP, next time you see this person just say, "okay, I got lunch last time, today's on you."
 
K

Korey

Member
I'm doing a documentary about how people have managed to make it this far in life. Interested in doing an interview OP? Sent you a PM.
 
Golgo 13

Golgo 13

The Man With The Golden Dong
I would definitely say something. I'd even try to get him to return the favor... "So when are you going to get me back for those lunches?"

"You want to hang out? Sure, but you got it this time, right? Money's a little tight". I wouldn't let it go, this guy needs to be taught a lesson.
 
K

KAP151

Member
You work with him... so u know he has money.

He just doesnt want to spend it. Especially when u are paying for him.

Seems like a pretty easily solution to me....
 
R

_Ryo_

Member
You should negotiate before deciding where to eat from now on

1. Discuss the maximum amount allowed to be spent. Ie, not goinf over $80, etc.
2. How much each person will personally pay ie, 50/50, 60/40, 30/70, etc
3. Where you are going to eat
4. Tip%
 
O

outunderthestars

Banned
OP, you are an adult. Instead of making a thread about it on a video game forum, why no just have an actual conversation with the person? Is it really that day!n hard to talk to your coworker about the matter?
 
I

Ihyll

Junior Member
outunderthestars said:
OP, you are an adult. Instead of making a thread about it on a video game forum, why no just have an actual conversation with the person? Is it really that day!n hard to talk to your coworker about the matter?
Click to expand...

I'm not the type that confronts people about things like these...if someone invites me out for lunch I won't order an expensive item on the menu and I WIlLL make sure i buy the next time, and if I can't afford it then I simply won't go.

Isn't it common courtesy? Esp if you're just barely getting to know the person?
 
K

kevin1025

Banned
Pull the old "I have to go to the bathroom" or "I have to make a call" when it comes time to pay.

Or even take it a step further and say, "you got this, right? I don't have my wallet."
 
I

Ihyll

Junior Member
_Ryo_ said:
You should negotiate before deciding where to eat from now on

1. Discuss the maximum amount allowed to be spent. Ie, not goinf over $80, etc.
2. How much each person will personally pay ie, 50/50, 60/40, 30/70, etc
3. Where you are going to eat
4. Tip%
Click to expand...

The times we have gotten lunch, his food has always been more expensive than mine.

We won't be going out for lunch or drinks anymore on my dime. Ill just wait until he invites me

I'm tired of being taken advantage of
 
O

outunderthestars

Banned
Ihyll said:
I'm not the type that confronts people about things like these...if someone invites me out for lunch I won't order an expensive item on the menu and I WIlLL make sure i buy the next time, and if I can't afford it then I simply won't go.

Isn't it common courtesy? Esp if you're just barely getting to know the person?
Click to expand...

Basic conversation is not the same as confrontation.

Next lunch, when the person says they didn't bring money simply say. " No problem, do you have Venmo? Just send me ____ via that when you get back to the office.

A little assertiveness goes a long way in this life. Hell, I have my wife and my job based on simply asserting myself.
 
F

Fancyarcher

Member
Don't ask him to eat lunch with you for a while at least. It's clear he wants free meals, so he's taking advantage of you to a certain extent.
 
R

Resilient

Member
Captain Pants said:
LOL... Ok. Either that or we took each other on dates and developed a happy relationship that turned into a marriage. Have a good one. I'm done.
Click to expand...

My relationship has also developed into a happy one with heavy emphasis on equality. "Good luck with that one" isn't needed cause it's already going good dog
 
mindatlarge

mindatlarge

Member
I don't think you're overrating at all.

Sounds like he's taking advantage of your generosity. Some people in life just don't have an ounce of integrity in their body, unfortunately. It's admirable that you are a generous person, but there is a balance. I would curve the trend by distancing yourself from him when it's time to pay.
 
C

CarpeDeezNutz

Member
Ihyll said:
The times we have gotten lunch, his food has always been more expensive than mine.

We won't be going out for lunch or drinks anymore on my dime. Ill just wait until he invites me

I'm tired of being taken advantage of
Click to expand...


How many times has it happened already?

That has never happened to me before, I think if it did I would be dumbfounded, like how did he expect to pay? And buying the expensive food, just testing his boundaries, how far he can go. Next he'll probably ask to borrow money on top of that.
 
R

_Ryo_

Member
Ihyll said:
The times we have gotten lunch, his food has always been more expensive than mine.

We won't be going out for lunch or drinks anymore on my dime. Ill just wait until he invites me

I'm tired of being taken advantage of
Click to expand...

You've come to the correct decision.
You should take it further and demand he pay you back for at least half the times you've paid for him. He was using you and deserves to be called out on it.
 
F

fastford58

Member
Usually when I see this topic title on GAF, my immediate thought is "probably".

But in this case, the guy is being a shit. Stop doing it.
 
M

MIMIC

Banned
LOL, stop hanging out with him (or at least bring someone along to foot the bill)

But that's definitely rude to not offer to pay after you've been paying for him. Does he think you're rich or something?
 
T

thebknbear

Member
Just say you are really strapped for cash before the lunch next time. that way, if he still makes you pay, you know he is just an asshole. but you'll also be able to groan about it if you do end up paying, since you already set up being "broke" and he will get the message. one way or another.
 
B

boredofcanada

Member
Had a friend that was doing this. He always chose where we go. His excuse was he gets paid on Friday. And then on Friday comes and he doesn't want to hang and disappears. Took me a few tries before I got the hint. People suck.
 
D

davidwhangchoi

Member
Ihyll said:
There's this new guy at work...he's pretty cool we have hung out a few times now however there is one thing that is bothering me...

Every time we have hung out it turns out he never has any money to split the bill and I always have to end up paying....which honestly I don't mind...BUT when someone is buying lunch for you, shouldn't you order some of the less expensive items on the menu? Or is that just me? This guy whenever we have gone out for lunch always orders the most expensive items...
Click to expand...
the guys freakin Asian and a guy i know. it's probably him. no it's him. oh man, it's got to be him. how i handle it? i tell him i already ate.
Pau said:
Sounds like you do mind, OP.

This reminds me of someone who used to be my best friend. He even once took me to a bookstore for my birthday, told me to pick something out that he would pay for. When we got to the cash register, he pulled the "I don't have any money on me. I swear I'll pay you back." He never did, obviously.

You ultimately gotta ask yourself if it's worth paying them for their company.
Click to expand...
what a (former) friend =/

Resilient said:
i have called out my closest friends for not paying me back after i paid for their dinner/lunch or whatever when they didn't have cash.

how the fuck you guys do this i will never understand. i ain't paying shit for nobody, cause nobody is paying shit for me.

edit: to go even further i don't even pay for my girlfriends dinner, we split that shit 50/50 every time.
Click to expand...
cool man, i respect that. though i probably wouldn't hang with you. that's too exact.
 
A

Afrodium

Banned
He forgot his money and you just paid for the entire meal without asking him to pay you back tomorrow or Paypal/Venmo you the cash? And this has happened multiple times now without him ever suggesting he could repay you at a later time? You're getting played.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Pau said:
Sounds like you do mind, OP.

This reminds me of someone who used to be my best friend. He even once took me to a bookstore for my birthday, told me to pick something out that he would pay for. When we got to the cash register, he pulled the "I don't have any money on me. I swear I'll pay you back." He never did, obviously.

You ultimately gotta ask yourself if it's worth paying them for their company.
Click to expand...

You broke off the friendship over this one incident? Seems a little bit of an overreaction, doesn't it?
 
F

Fuu

Formerly Alaluef (not Aladuf)
Afrodium said:
He forgot his money and you just paid for the entire meal without asking him to pay you back tomorrow or Paypal/Venmo you the cash? And this has happened multiple times now without him ever suggesting he could repay you at a later time? You're getting played.
Click to expand...
yeah, I'm having a hard time comprehending how this story can be even real. Unless OP has the hots for him.
 
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