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[hiryu64]

Every. Single. Time.

I'm pretty sure that user was saying that we need to specify that because you tend to see that reaction. Again, to highlight that what happened is not cool.

 

[JBourne]

Every. Single. Time.

iRAWRasaurus was pointing out the attitude taken towards female teachers who have sex with students. Didn't seem like he was condoning it.

 

[T-Rex.]

Every. Single. Time.

To be fair, I think iRAWRasaurus is pointing out the difference in reaction rather than using that gif in the normal manner in which it's used in these threads.

 

[Rocketz]

Uh... yeah. Quite a bit. Men are seen as inherently way more predatory in societies eyes.

My old friend from high school got convective 15 year sentences for this. Also crossed state lines so that didn't help.

 

[Earthbound64]

I'm pretty sure that user was saying that we need to specify that because you tend to see that reaction. Again, to highlight that what happened is not cool.

iRAWRasaurus was pointing out the attitude taken towards female teachers who have sex with students. Didn't seem like he was condoning it.

To be fair, I think iRAWRasaurus is pointing out the difference in reaction rather than using that gif in the normal manner in which it's used in these threads.

I don't see how it could be read/interpreted that way, but it may be me then.

 

[Lashley]

I don't see how it could be read/interpreted that way, but it may be me then.

Because thats the context of the clip from South Park the GIF is made from

 

[kirblar]

Not every reference is appropriate, especially not the South Park ones...

In the episode that comes from, they're pointing out the gendered double standard too. Unironically using it is to completely miss the point of what was aired. (I am pretty sure the usage earlier was using it as an example of the problem just like in the ep)

Julia Serano's "Why Nice Guys Finish Last" is still the best piece on this subject - https://web.archive.org/web/20150509121454/https://www.geneseo.edu/webfm_send/3244

From my perspective, much of the existing rhetoric used to describe and theorize sexual harassment, abuse, and rape is, unfortunately, mired in the concept of "unilateral sexism" - that is, the belief that men are oppressors and women are the oppressed, end of story.

Some of those who buy into unilateral sexism believe that men are inherently oppressive, dominating, and violent. Others believe that the problem is rooted in patriarchal and male socialization conspiring to condition men to become sexual predators. While there is certainly some truth to the idea that men are socialized to be sexually aggressive, even predatory, this is not the only force at work in their lives. Male children and teenagers are also regularly and explicitly reminded that they should be respectful of girls and women, and are often punished severely for picking on, or "playing rough" with, their female peers. Further, the men-are-just-socialized-that-way argument fails to explain the countless men who never sexually abuse or harass women in their lifetime.

The truth is that rape culture is a mindset that affects each and every one of us, shaping how we view and respond to the world, and creating double-blinds for both women and men. I call this phenomenon the predator/prey mindset, and within it, men can only ever be viewed as sexual aggressors and women as sexual objects.

The predator/prey mindset creates many of the double standards that exist in how we view female vs male sexuality. For instance, on numerous occasions I've heard female heterosexual friends of mine ogle some man and make comments about how he has a nice ass. While one could certainly make the case that such discussions are "objectifying" or "sexualizing," what strikes me is that they don't feel that way. But if I were to overhear a group of men make the exact same comments about a woman, they would feel very different. They would feel sexualizing.

Similarly, if a male high school teacher were to have sex with one of his female teenage students, we would all be appalled. The incident would clearly feel like statutory rape to us. However, when the roles are reversed - when the adult teacher is female and the student is male - it generally feels like a completely different thing to us. While it still fits the definition of statutory rape, we often have problems mustering up the feeling that the boy has been violated or abused. In fact, after one recent high-profile case, comedian Bill Maher joked that such teenage boys were "lucky," and the audience broke into laughter.

What these anecdotes reveal is that the predator/prey mindset essentially ensures that men cannot be viewed as legitimate sexual objects, nor can women be viewed as legitimate sexual aggressors. This has the effect of rendering invisible instances of man-on-man and woman-on-woman sexual harassment and abuse, and it makes the idea of woman-on-man rape utterly inconceivable. It's also why women cannot simply "turn the tables" and begin sexualizing men. After all, if a woman were to shout catcalls at a man, or were to pinch guy's ass as he walked by, her actions wouldn't mean the same thing as if the roles were reversed. Her actions would likely be seen as suggestive and slutty, rather than intimidating and predatory.

 

[Earthbound64]

Because thats the context of the clip from South Park the GIF is made from

Never watched South Park. I just knew people routinely post that image in threads like this and end up getting banned for it.
But, anyway.

 

[parrotbeak]

I don't see how it could be read/interpreted that way, but it may be me then.

I also read it as pointing at the attitude that it's ok if the child is male, rather than condoning it. The original episode iirc is about a female teacher sleeping with a male infant, and my interpretation of that joke was making fun of that attitude. I don't think even the "where was she when I was in school" crowd would think sleeping with a male infant is niiiice.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

In the episode that comes from, they're pointing out the gendered double standard too. Unironically using it is to completely miss the point of what was aired. (I am pretty sure the usage earlier was using it as an example of the problem just like in the ep)

Julia Serano's "Why Nice Guys Finish Last" is still the best piece on this subject - https://web.archive.org/web/20150509121454/https://www.geneseo.edu/webfm_send/3244

This is pretty good.

 

[mackattk]

.

 

[Raptomex]

In the episode that comes from, they're pointing out the gendered double standard too. Unironically using it is to completely miss the point of what was aired. (I am pretty sure the usage earlier was using it as an example of the problem just like in the ep)

Julia Serano's "Why Nice Guys Finish Last" is still the best piece on this subject - https://web.archive.org/web/20150509121454/https://www.geneseo.edu/webfm_send/3244

That is very spot-on. That's why I'm curious what happens to those specific type of teenage boys after an event like this? Do they just say "oh, well" and move on? Are they forced into therapy?

 

[kirblar]

Never watched South Park. I just knew people routinely post that image in threads like this and end up getting banned for it.
But, anyway.

In the episode a kindergarten teacher is having an affair with a kindergartner, and when his brother reports it to police, he gets the "Nice." response from them.

IRAWR was using it as a well-known pop culture example of why we have to both specify the genders here and make it explicitly clear why this is a problem.

 

[Timeaisis]

Legality aside, labeling aside, the very act of someone in a position of power using that position to initiate and dictate sexual relationships with wards under her care is morally and ethically repugnant.

Yup. This is gross.

 

[parrotbeak]

In the episode a kindergarten teacher is having an affair with a kindergartner, and when his brother reports it to police, he gets the "Nice." response from them.

IRAWR was using it as a well-known pop culture example of why we have to both specify the genders here and make it explicitly clear why this is a problem.

Oh, was Ike in kintergarden? I always thought of him as a baby.

 

[cHaotix8]

Why does this keep happening?

I mean... High school guys are gonna be high school guys.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

Cause we don't pay teachers shit and nobody respects the job.

Economic anxiety. I'm so upset about my low wages I accidentally statutory raped.

 

[Berserking Guts]

I can't imagine the sort of trauma that would leave on a youngster. Hope they lock the asshole away.

 

[Falchion]

Teachers, please stop having sex with your students.

 

[Puck Beaverton]

My teacher laughed at me when I flirted with her.

 

[Socivol]

These teachers piss me off. As a former teacher i could NEVER have even thought of doing something like that with a student. They are KIDS. They don't look attractive, they are gross, the smell bad. Like you obviously can tell that some of them are "cute" or "handsome" to their peers but as an adult you shouldn't see them that way. Everytime I see a story like this I want to beat the teacher's ass.

 

[DontBeThatGuy]

the "most popular" side panel on that site is extra fucked up.

 

[kirblar]

Oh, was Ike in kintergarden? I always thought of him as a baby.

He's been aged up slowly over the years.

This is pretty good.

I think the perspectives of gay and trans men and women are really important on this stuff because it gives you a perspective that's either (or both) outside of the M/F heterosexual binary when it comes to dating or gives you insight into what life is like living on both sides of that dynamic.

 

[criesofthepast]

I was in grade 7 and had a very close relationship with a young female teacher. She was maybe 22 years old fresh out of college. 8-10 year difference. She knew I had a crush on her as everyone basically told her that. Guess she thought it was cute.

She always asked me after school to stay a lot to help her with stuff and she would buy me McDonalds. She asked me to pretend I was her boyfriend to make reservations at a restaraunt on the phone for her. She was super emotionally unstable. Always crying in class over breaking up with her boyfriends every month.

Nothing ever happened but thinking back on it now makes me wonder a bit where her head was at and if it was our relationship was really appropriate.

 

[shadow_shogun]

Where were these teachers at when I was in HS?

I was hopeful that this'll be the student/teacher thread that would escape this statement, but...

 

[Khaos Kontrol]

Is it me or does this (female teacher and male student(s)) happen much more often than the reverse?

 

[chromhound]

I see alot of those stories lately. Stay single and keep your vajayjay in your pants

 

[17 Seconds]

.

 

[Puck Beaverton]

I was in grade 7 and had a very close relationship with a young female teacher. She was maybe 22 years old fresh out of college. 8-10 year difference. She knew I had a crush on her as everyone basically told her that. Guess she thought it was cute.

She always asked me after school to stay a lot to help her with stuff and she would buy me McDonalds. She asked me to pretend I was her boyfriend to make reservations at a restaraunt on the phone for her. She was super emotionally unstable. Always crying in class over breaking up with her boyfriends every month.

Nothing ever happened but thinking back on it now makes me wonder a bit where her head was at and if it was our relationship was really appropriate.

It wasn't.

I had a female friend who would flirt with our male teacher to fuck with him. Dude got so flustered it was hilarious.

 

[kirblar]

you don't get the show, which is weird, because it's usually laid on pretty thick

The show is criticizing the police (and society's) nonchalance towards the subject. They are not endorsing it. It's not subtle at all.

The issue is that people will use the "Nice." unironically.

 

[Lashley]

I was in grade 7 and had a very close relationship with a young female teacher. She was maybe 22 years old fresh out of college. 8-10 year difference. She knew I had a crush on her as everyone basically told her that. Guess she thought it was cute.

She always asked me after school to stay a lot to help her with stuff and she would buy me McDonalds. She asked me to pretend I was her boyfriend to make reservations at a restaraunt on the phone for her. She was super emotionally unstable. Always crying in class over breaking up with her boyfriends every month.

Nothing ever happened but thinking back on it now makes me wonder a bit where her head was at and if it was our relationship was really appropriate.

Makes you wonder what?

 

[17 Seconds]

The show is criticizing the police (and society's) nonchalance towards the subject. They are not endorsing it. It's not subtle at all.

The issue is that people will use the "Nice." unironically.

yeah sorry, i thought you were saying the opposite. i agree with you.

 

[TimeEffect]

I was in grade 7 and had a very close relationship with a young female teacher. She was maybe 22 years old fresh out of college. 8-10 year difference. She knew I had a crush on her as everyone basically told her that. Guess she thought it was cute.

She always asked me after school to stay a lot to help her with stuff and she would buy me McDonalds. She asked me to pretend I was her boyfriend to make reservations at a restaraunt on the phone for her. She was super emotionally unstable. Always crying in class over breaking up with her boyfriends every month.

Nothing ever happened but thinking back on it now makes me wonder a bit where her head was at and if it was our relationship was really appropriate.

This is absolutely inappropriate and suspicious as hell.

 

[AoM]

Is it me or does this (female teacher and male student(s)) happen much more often than the reverse?

Because every male teacher knows anything they do that can be regarded as inappropriate, no matter how harmless, will be.

 

[Fenderputty]

Would there be a different, more visceral reaction if it was the other way around?

Yes of course. lol

These threads are usually graveyards of people posting "nice". Half the dudes and their childhood fantasies assume every male would do this and be just fine. Data shows us otherwise.

 

[Sephzilla]

What mental gymnastics do teachers do in order to justify doing something like this?

 

[sir_kevith]

Unrelated students on the same day? That's some predatory shit.

 

[pretty done]

It wasn't.

I had a female friend who would flirt with our male teacher to fuck with him. Dude got so flustered it was hilarious.

Your female friend sounds awful

 

[Puck Beaverton]

Your female friend sounds awful

she did it to everyone. girl was something

 

[benicillin]

Is it me or does this (female teacher and male student(s)) happen much more often than the reverse?

The statistics (that I'm aware of) don't back that up. Something like 1/4 or 1/3 of total cases involve a female teacher.

A lot of things I've read on the subject indicate social media plays a role, and interaction between students and teachers electronically.

 

[SecretMoblin]

Is it me or does this (female teacher and male student(s)) happen much more often than the reverse?

There are way, way more female teachers in secondary (and primary, ick) education. The vast majority of new teachers are young women just out of college, who have never known a world outside of classrooms and where boundary lines can be blurry. It's rarely older teachers making the news for this.

 

[TimeEffect]

What mental gymnastics do teachers do in order to justify doing something like this?

Simple. They were asking for it.

 

[CassidyIzABeast]

Is this a result of the internet making it easy for these stories to have a wider reach or are the number of cases just really that much higher in resent history?

I read about some karate teacher wanting an 11 year old to come to her 21st birthday party to have sex. Talking to that young ass boy on Kik and sending him nudes. The fuck is wrong with you?

 

[ClosingADoor]

Is this a result of the internet making it easy for these stories to have a wider reach or are the number of cases just really that much higher in resent history?

I read about some karate teacher wanting an 11 year old to come to her 21st birthday party to have sex. Talking to that young ass boy on Kik and sending him nudes. The fuck is wrong with you?

Probably a combination of more young women teaching, easier contact with students with smartphones and the media picking up the stories and spreading them easier online.

 

[Ushay]

Where were these teachers at when I was in HS?

Bwahahahahahah was waiting for someone to say this.

 

[Skellig Gra]

I was in grade 7 and had a very close relationship with a young female teacher. She was maybe 22 years old fresh out of college. 8-10 year difference. She knew I had a crush on her as everyone basically told her that. Guess she thought it was cute.

She always asked me after school to stay a lot to help her with stuff and she would buy me McDonalds. She asked me to pretend I was her boyfriend to make reservations at a restaraunt on the phone for her. She was super emotionally unstable. Always crying in class over breaking up with her boyfriends every month.

Nothing ever happened but thinking back on it now makes me wonder a bit where her head was at and if it was our relationship was really appropriate.

How is Doreen doing these days?

 

[Bleepey]

It wasn't.

I had a female friend who would flirt with our male teacher to fuck with him. Dude got so flustered it was hilarious.

A friend of mine told me about a male music teacher in an all girl's school. He'd play guitar and receive roses and love letters on his motorbike. He took that shit straight to the principled complaining that it happened again. Another told me of the panic that would set in each time a student made physical advances on him

 

[benicillin]

Is this a result of the internet making it easy for these stories to have a wider reach or are the number of cases just really that much higher in resent history?

I read about some karate teacher wanting an 11 year old to come to her 21st birthday party to have sex. Talking to that young ass boy on Kik and sending him nudes. The fuck is wrong with you?

Reported incidents have certainly risen, but it could be for a variety of reasons. Social media stalking / grooming, ease of communication between students and teachers, etc. It's also likely that more people are just getting caught then they used to, either because students are less afraid of coming forward or because social media, phones, etc leave a lot more evidence behind.

 

[AoM]

The statistics (that I'm aware of) don't back that up. Something like 1/4 or 1/3 of total cases involve a female teacher.

A lot of things I've read on the subject indicate social media plays a role, and interaction between students and teachers electronically.

Might as well post them. And something also to consider is that many secondary teachers are male.

 

[captive]

Why does this keep happening?

because people are horny and can't mind the rules. I mean its not hard, don't have sex with underage kids. Its a fairly simply rule.

Legality aside, labeling aside, the very act of someone in a position of power using that position to initiate and dictate sexual relationships with wards under her care is morally and ethically repugnant.

the way this is worded, it sounds like you would be ok with this if it was the students who initiated and dictated the sexual relationship?