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Baywatch doesn't understand parody...for 2 hours (Double Toasted)
- Thread starter Messofanego
- Start date
Frozenprince
Banned
Pain and gain is a good movie k won't hear a word otherwise.
Frozenprince
Banned
Betrayed by the one he loves most. Especially since he spent like fifteen minutes to start the show talking about how good a dad Martin is lol.
The Real Abed
Perma-Junior
I am definitely watching this when I get home.
Ah yes San Andreas, the movie where our 'hero' selfishly steals one of a handful of rescue helicopters during the biggest disaster the world has ever seen to save one person. How heroic!
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
but that movie had a defense from the 'opposite side' (I don't know their names) that they at least tried to make somewhat out of the games without betraying them completely. "get him to anumus" aside, they tried on that one.
But with Baywatch: dick jokes as a pitch for a product? Nah, that ain't even trying. I knew Baywatch was (in) trouble when the poster for it was literally just a dick... joke. Nobody wants that, and that's not even a new thing either. If they did, Shadows of the Damned would be the greatest fucking video game of all fucking time. But right now, you're all googling wtf that game is.
Honestly, what surprises me is that a salesman like Johnson doesn't know that, apparently. Which is like, how, man?
Even going out of his way to have ANOTHER dick joke as a plug on SNL... pfff.
Catalix
And on the sixth day the LORD David Bowie created man and woman in His image. And he saw that it was good. On the seventh day the LORD created videogames so that He might take the bloody day off for once.
Anyone remember that FX show "Son of the Beach?"
Now that was a Baywatch parody I could fucks with.
Now that was a Baywatch parody I could fucks with.
TemplaerDude
Member
It's 2017 and this is a new thing to you?
Yep, best film MB has made in over a decade.
DontBeThatGuy
Member
It couldn't quite capture how insane it was reading the actual story for the first time, but Bay tried and it had stretches of being really entertaining.
The Rundown, and I dunno, Gridiron Gang are probably the other Rock movies with the most upside. (ignoring Fast Five)
#sorrynotsorry
Member
I can't believe you guys are shitting on a movie you haven't seen.
I went with a large group and everyone enjoyed it. Everyone. Even the people that expected not to like it. Why? I thought not one could like it?
Razgriz-Specter
Member
Girts has become the MVP recently.
His Sean Connery impression is hilarious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqAz23oKxY4
7:55, 24:10
His Hamill Joker voice reading Trump tweets is amazing https://www.facebook.com/DoubleToasteddotcom/videos/1633789710250075/
Inceptional
Member
I disagree. I thought Pain and Gain was trying way too hard and still had way too much stupid humor for what was trying to be a black comedy. 13 Hours is a legit great movie though and I'd dare say his best work since The Rock.
Rock has been in plenty of shit, but some solid flicks too.
Scorpio King. PG-13 Conan, nothing more, or less. Lots of fun. And Kelly Wu.
Rundown is a fantastic action flick. Doom has always been a guilty pleasure for me. B horror with a nifty ending. And Pain and Gain is fucking great.
But the thing about The Rock is, even the shit he's in, he typically makes it enjoyable.
Double Toasted Reviews are the only fucking reviews I need. Love the team.
Scorpio King. PG-13 Conan, nothing more, or less. Lots of fun. And Kelly Wu.
Rundown is a fantastic action flick. Doom has always been a guilty pleasure for me. B horror with a nifty ending. And Pain and Gain is fucking great.
But the thing about The Rock is, even the shit he's in, he typically makes it enjoyable.
Double Toasted Reviews are the only fucking reviews I need. Love the team.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
i never thought of it as a parody
Imperial Bishop
Banned
I love these guys. Been a long time fan since the Spill days.
I wish they could do more animated stuff though. I know they had to start from the ground up once Spill got shut down, but I really enjoyed the animated segments in their Spill reviews.
I wish they could do more animated stuff though. I know they had to start from the ground up once Spill got shut down, but I really enjoyed the animated segments in their Spill reviews.
Moana
GabeTheGrouch76
Member
Laughed so hard when Martin caused the air to go dead by pretending to go with the matinee....lol. Never seen Korey look so tense with disagreement at Martin since his Top 10 Worst Films of 2016 upload (the way Korey went at Martin when he disagreed with Korey putting Blair Witch at #4 had my stomach legitimately hurting from laughter).
Double Toasted reviews are always legit. Really enjoy these guys' reviews.
Double Toasted reviews are always legit. Really enjoy these guys' reviews.
Messofanego
Banned
Same. It also felt pretty exploitative being based on a real story.
It's better than not peeing yourself?Did anyone pee themselves laughing?
Messofanego
Banned
Glad I'm not the only one who finds people talking in a studio about movies boring. Show some interesting visuals to go along with it, at least.
17 Seconds
Banned
lmao, i'm pretty sure this movie didn't go over anyone's head
VenomousCoffee
Member
Did anyone pee themselves laughing?
I guess I'm going to be pedantic and point out that the tweet he's quoting is actually the "alternative" he refers to. So it's like he's criticizing her for being the worse response.
17 Seconds
Banned
this is a really bad attempt at a gotcha post
17 Seconds
Banned
i think he was actually making a dumb joke about shitting your pants
Messofanego
Banned
They show all they can from the trailers and footage that's out there. Where else have you seen timely video reviews of movies that show more than them?
Do you think those are mature uses of the word?
For those wanting that Spill reunion, the Beauty and the Beast review got you covered.
Nah that's understandable. Some people enjoyed the Transformers 20th sequel, everyone has different tastes.
Messofanego
Banned
Sweeney Tom
Banned
But the 1 person per theater who saw this tweeted @Dwayne that they peed, so that's all that #matters :fireemoji
Frozenprince
Banned
Yeah what they need is some jump cuts and SWEEET GRAPHICS BRUH.
PHOENIXZERO
Member
Yup. That and Night Stand always made me wish Timothy Stack got bigger than he did but he seems to have done okay.
Night Stand was my shit
Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew
Banned
I mean, what do you expect from a former wrestler?
I would love a Tooth Fairy/The Pacifier crossover with him and Vin Diesel.
Part of WB's Dark Universe? Yes please.
starchild excalibur
Member
I disagree with Double Toasted's consensus maybe 30-40% of the time (which isn't strange since they often disagree amongst each other, I guess), but their reviews are always fun to watch.
That being said, I watched Baywatch yesterday with my girlfriend and it's just as big a shit as they say. If I was on the show I'd give it Some Ol' Bullshit instead of a Fuck You because while it was overlong and not funny at all, it didn't anger me the way it did the Koreys. The movie is just... not funny. Certain gags like Ronnie (the chubby guy) getting his dick stuck in a folding chair just go on for way longer than you'd think they would. It takes forever to get to the main conflict involving Priyanka Chopra's characters because the first 20-25 minutes is just them setting up who's going to be the new Baywatch initiates. And there are long stretches where it seems like they even forgot to write any jokes.
Zac Efron is like a less-funny Channing Tatum even in his good films, which is to say that he's found his shine in acting like a dumb pretty boy. I'd say his crowning achievement so far is in Neighbors 2 - a mediocre film that nevertheless featured a great, likable-but-dumb performance by him. But he's not even as dumb in the film as the trailers suggest he is. For a lot of it he's actually the voice of reason, reminding his fellow lifeguards that they're lifeguards and not cops. They'll throw a few jokes here and there where he's an idiot ("No, I'm caucasian"), but for most of it he's kind of angsty and mopey.
I agree with Korey C's crux of his argument: the writing and acting doesn't indicate that they're aware of what they making. They treat it as a serious rendition of Baywatch. There are so many opportunities where they could exaggerate or take a self-aware look at something they're doing, but choose not to. The serious moments are played seriously. The action moments are played seriously. It feels like they're all treating the material with reverence instead of playfully acknowledging how dumb it all is.
I'm happy to see at least one poster and his friends enjoyed the film. In my theater it got intermittent laughs, but it was far from a laugh a minute. More like a laugh every 6-7 minutes, maybe. If they didn't want to go the spoof/parody route like everyone was assuming this would be, then they should have just made it a legitimately good action-comedy. But the action isn't anything home to write about and the funniest parts of the film have already been featured in the trailer.
That being said, I watched Baywatch yesterday with my girlfriend and it's just as big a shit as they say. If I was on the show I'd give it Some Ol' Bullshit instead of a Fuck You because while it was overlong and not funny at all, it didn't anger me the way it did the Koreys. The movie is just... not funny. Certain gags like Ronnie (the chubby guy) getting his dick stuck in a folding chair just go on for way longer than you'd think they would. It takes forever to get to the main conflict involving Priyanka Chopra's characters because the first 20-25 minutes is just them setting up who's going to be the new Baywatch initiates. And there are long stretches where it seems like they even forgot to write any jokes.
Zac Efron is like a less-funny Channing Tatum even in his good films, which is to say that he's found his shine in acting like a dumb pretty boy. I'd say his crowning achievement so far is in Neighbors 2 - a mediocre film that nevertheless featured a great, likable-but-dumb performance by him. But he's not even as dumb in the film as the trailers suggest he is. For a lot of it he's actually the voice of reason, reminding his fellow lifeguards that they're lifeguards and not cops. They'll throw a few jokes here and there where he's an idiot ("No, I'm caucasian"), but for most of it he's kind of angsty and mopey.
I agree with Korey C's crux of his argument: the writing and acting doesn't indicate that they're aware of what they making. They treat it as a serious rendition of Baywatch. There are so many opportunities where they could exaggerate or take a self-aware look at something they're doing, but choose not to. The serious moments are played seriously. The action moments are played seriously. It feels like they're all treating the material with reverence instead of playfully acknowledging how dumb it all is.
I'm happy to see at least one poster and his friends enjoyed the film. In my theater it got intermittent laughs, but it was far from a laugh a minute. More like a laugh every 6-7 minutes, maybe. If they didn't want to go the spoof/parody route like everyone was assuming this would be, then they should have just made it a legitimately good action-comedy. But the action isn't anything home to write about and the funniest parts of the film have already been featured in the trailer.
Messofanego
Banned
Ghost In The Shell, Monster Trucks, and now Baywatch flopping. Poor Paramount lol.
San Andreas scratched my disaster porn itch so good.
Messofanego
Banned
What did you think of 2012? That was not great, but still kind of bad good cause of how ridiculous it got. Woody Harrelson as a conspiracy loon and the whole Noah's Ark thing was lols.
I love it.
Sweeney Tom
Banned
Don't forget Rings lol