I believe this too.
How do you feel about most JRPG's? I've always personally struggled with lumping them into the RPG genre. Most of them you don't have any control over how the story plays out.
How they're perceived? It doesn't really bother me. They're very different, traditionally, but also offer a very stat heavy combat which I guess could be quite comfortably argued as role playing. Kind of like an opposite The Witcher: choice and tact in combat, not really in the game world. I don't think there's anything wrong with tactical combat focused role playing.
For me personally? They don't feature the elements of "role playing" that I gravitate towards. It's not even narrative or anything like that. I'm drawn to games like Arcanum, Fallout, Bloodlines, and so on. Games that put a really huge emphasise on player stat and world state synergy. I love the idea of being able to craft an identity, to role play as that identity, and find myself in a believable position in that game world: NPCs recognise who I am, my alignment, and my alliances. My chosen skill set will allow me to explore the game world and complete quests from a unique perspective. Emergent gameplay opportunities open up when I use my skills creatively. And so on.
I like the idea that I can go back and roll as an entirely different kind of character, role play as a new persona with a different background and their own skills, and in many respects experience a different game than I did the first time.
But at the same time I don't
need these qualities to enjoy RPGs, just that they're my favourite. I still love games like Xenoblade, for example.