I have to say, i just really need something to happen for me in these times. It is such a completely bizarre feeling, like i go out with maybe, only 2 friends i might have from work time and again, and finally reveal to them how fucked i feel, and the best they got is just 'be yourself man it will come'. Like, i try to follow the 'dont say no rule' and just do shit, but the thing with that is you need things to say yes to or they might as well dont exist. So im basically like 'yeah im 33 and only been on 2 dates with the same girl and it was a nightmare' bullshit after a few beers, and of course at that point im just like 'good job loser its a pity party again', and the best people got is to show you videos and photos of literally smoking hot girls they just dated a week ago. Like my immediate reaction is like 'how they hell they pull that off', might as well be rocket science. And the fucked up thing that makes me a weird mess is the guy showing this shit off also is complaining they have it so hard. It really is a nightmare i cant escape from.
People have it so easy with this shit. I mean ive been working out hardcore, i eat and dress well, have my own place, basically check the boxes i am supposed to check but cant overcome the personality/mental issues. I mean i actually can look in the mirror now and think i look good, which must mean a lot cause my negative self image is through the roof. I am such a broken state of affairs i am having a real hard time coping. I mean i know what i guess i would have to do, but just cant. I spent my teenage years with suicide attempts and mental institutions and now im just left a broken person that nobody gives a shit. And a fucking 33 yr old virgin, might as well be a freak of nature. it is really hard to keep moving forward. Im not expecting anyone to give a shit i just felt the need to vent and type it out. I do this like 2 times a year on GAF. neverending nightmare.
I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, but you've manufactured your own nightmare, bud.
I don't quite know how you intend to solve your problems when you're spending every day of your life trapped in your own head, which is apparently filled to the brim with irrational beliefs of not only yourself, but of the people around you. Take this whole "people have it so easy with this shit" shit. Care to point me in the direction of these people? Am I mistaken, or is this thread filled with countless posts from other guys facing dating troubles, too? So, what makes your case so different? What is it that polarizes you from everyone else in the world that fights the same fight as you do?
The answer to that question is that you've convinced yourself that you are on a different level of failure than anyone else, but that's not true at all. Lots of other men that are your age struggle just the same. Like you, they've allowed one challenging facet of their life define their happiness, and the pain they feel is excruciating to a degree that no message board post could properly describe. Just because those people aren't in your social circle or on your social media feeds doesn't mean they don't exist. So, stop pretending you're on an island. It's the biggest lie human beings could ever tell themselves.
Venting about this imaginary island of yours will solve nothing. The only purpose it serves is a means to bring you back here again with the same old story. And why? Because you'll have never saw through your self-made illusion of hopelessness. You'll just keep racking up more days of forfeit until you need to vent again. You're your own vicious cycle.
I think it's about time that you put the pity party down and start picking up some fucking pieces. It's not as daunting as your mind wants to make it out to be, either. You just need to learn where to start healing.
I can tell you where you shouldn't start, though... and that's with hinging your healing on women. What you need to do is heal for yourself. Find your trigger points. Discipline your mind. Filter your thoughts. Get to the bottom of some shit. And most of all, quit sitting around and allowing yourself to get frustrated just because you're late to the dating party. Everyone's late to something in life. We have our tribulations, and you have yours. It's not a fucking competition about who has it the worst. It's life, and we're all in this shit together.
So, snap out of this rut. Start the process. Quit looking at dating, relationships, and pussy as a magical cure-all for your pain. It's not. This is about you stepping out of that island and grabbing hold of your life again, so do it. And maybe then, you won't be back here with the same sad story anymore. You got this.
