• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

Status
Not open for further replies.

Stopdoor

Member
Dang it guys, you ask so much of us, first it's have more hobbies, then it's no selfies, then it's no t-shirts, what's next? Whatever happened to just being ourselves??

Mostly not serious
 
And she actually did, a week later. But other than small talk initiated by her she didn't make an effort to follow through on the meetup after I pushed her on it. Her last reply was "Mehbeh". A joke type response that I could see her still following up on but also dropping it.

.

Damn, that was annoying to read lol. Sorry this happened dude. Even if she intends to, shes not serious about meeting up. Just forget about it unless she texts you back with solid plans or being open to an invite. Save yourself the time D:
 
Depends on the anime tbqh

As desperate and pathetic as I am, I'd like to think seeing a date with a Naruto shirt would make me want to back out. Says a lot about a person.
 

Stopdoor

Member
Damn, that was annoying to read lol. Sorry this happened dude. Even if she intends to, shes not serious about meeting up. Just forget about it unless she texts you back with solid plans or being open to an invite. Save yourself the time D:

It sucks, she even pointed out this cool looking gaming bar that I want to go to now - at least I have future date ideas, lol. Just gotta find a girl who's cool with gaming dates, easy-peasy.
 
Dang it guys, you ask so much of us, first it's have more hobbies, then it's no selfies, then it's no t-shirts, what's next? Whatever happened to just being ourselves??

Mostly not serious

That's your selective reading.

"Be yourself, but be the best version of yourself"

and

"Don't subsitute your personality with your hobbies"
 
I do have aesthetic standards, education as well.

5764191+_8c6dc40dcab7dc921f478cec07e3a372.jpg
 
D: But I always get compliments on my KK Slider shirt ;___;

Learn the difference between a compliment, a pleasantry and someone looking for a conversation topic.

I learned about having a "whatsit?" on a date, an item that your date would ask about and would lead to a conversation. This could be a tattoo, a ring, a badge or jewelry. Something they will notice and ask about.

I had a great "Whatsit?". can't say it got me a girlfriend but I can say it helped conversation flow during dates many times. It's a lot easier now with smartphones, just have a folder of pictures of your life and where you've been they can swipe through and ask questions.
 

Leeness

Member
Can we put "don't wear anime/manga shirts on a first date" in the OP?

Disney shirts tho.

I'm not trying to date, and I only wear my Disney shirts on sleep/grocery shop/errand days (or Captain America anytime because it looks cool and makes my boobs look okay).
 

valeo

Member
Not being a douche and just being a normal dude goes a long way. (not normal as in your interests/hobbies etc - just 'normal' in terms of not being creepy, listening properly, not talking like a robot)
 
Is this a double standard rule? Cause I'd be perfectly Ok if my date showed up wearing one of these.
Maybe? I guess it's a double standard, because I wouldn't have a problem with it. But I certainly wouldn't show up in a graphic tee for a first date. Shirt needs to have buttons (and not one of these):
I went on a perfectly good date with a first order tie fighter t shirt last night. Got some mad tongue action at the end.
As someone pointed out, this wasn't your first date.

I guess I should've just kept my Godzilla shirt on...
Nope. Dress to impress, my dude. Imagine you showed up looking like one of these bros:
2Y7GxxY.png


Disney shirts tho.

I'm not trying to date, and I only wear my Disney shirts on sleep/grocery shop/errand days (or Captain America anytime because it looks cool and makes my boobs look okay).
I try to choose clothes that accentuate my junk. Disney or otherwise.
 

vern

Member
Mm. I really enjoy these reverse dates. Girl shows up, we have sex, and then we go out. I had a nice picnic this afternoon, and although the conversation was a little stilted and we awkwardly ran into my friend on the way back, it was a good time. She's a very kind person.

Also, if y'all are hesitant about things, seriously: who doesn't want to hear, "I can't keep my hands off of you."

Memorial Day should be fucking lit, too. Spending it properly with a friend, a ton of booze, meat, and randos somewhere in Virginia.

I can't do dates like this...If we start the date like this, after we bang a few times I just want to do my own thing and try my best to urge the girl to leave.
 
I can't do dates like this...If we start the date like this, after we bang a few times I just want to do my own thing and try my best to urge the girl to leave.

Plus there's that lingering sense of disappointment on her part that would hang like a dark cloud over the rest of your dates
 
Nope. Dress to impress, my dude. Imagine you showed up looking like one of these bros:
2Y7GxxY.png



I try to choose clothes that accentuate my junk. Disney or otherwise.

I would love to dress that way, but its kinda in that spring~summer period here in Japan. Would literally die/drown in sweat. Can wear that like a solid 3 weeks max in my area haha. Looks good though!

Don't have to worry about the second part though #gaf! but seriously I try to bring as little attention to it as possible.
black in japan and all, its kinda amazing how many people i catch taking a quick glance down there, like all ages and genders lol...
funny and annoying.


Anywho!

About the birthday thing I did not want to go to. It went ok. Was SUPER AWKWARD at first lol. The other two guys who showed up for her little get together were two guys who are clearly way into her. Like hardcore into her. Thankfully one of the other guys kinda has been hooked by her friend a bit and when the other girl showed up she kinda kept him occupied a bit. I took an extremely welcome and comfortable back seat on that one hahaha -wipes sweat- "we did it!" The other guy and the girl seemed to be flirting hardcore recently and I stopped letting her come over quite a while ago to move on and glad shes finally got someone elses place to crash at now lol. Guess something happened a few weeks ago during the holiday it seemed.

#feelsgoodman to see her with someone else and not a shred of jealousy haha. I thought I would be annoyed if someone else talked to her or something but nope. Pretty damn good mood.

But now I get to avoid the other lady that guy was with before and is with randomly/keep them all separated at our events cause I already know thats some shit waiting to happen. As for me I get to talk to other women without feeling like there are eyes boring in to the back of my head for the first time in a while.
 
I would love to dress that way, but its kinda in that spring~summer period here in Japan. Would literally die/drown in sweat. Can wear that like a solid 3 weeks max in my area haha. Looks good though!

Don't have to worry about the second part though #gaf! but seriously I try to bring as little attention to it as possible.
black in japan and all, its kinda amazing how many people i catch taking a quick glance down there, like all ages and genders lol...
funny and annoying.

I'm living in Thailand and it's hot af year round. The scarves, blazer, and jacket are a no go, sadly. I did brave the light jacket the other day and looked good, but eventually started sweating my balls off.
 

Peltz

Member
Maybe? I guess it's a double standard, because I wouldn't have a problem with it. But I certainly wouldn't show up in a graphic tee for a first date. Shirt needs to have buttons (and not one of these):

You could do a shirt without buttons on a first date. A low v-neck T-shirt that looks good can be a great option:

Henleys are a really great option too:


I prefer these types of shirts to show off my chest and arms. Button down shirts are good too but you should shoot for a variety of looks.
 
Off the peg pain short sleeve shirt works for me, I can coast by on my good looks and charming personality. Back in the day I used to spend so much time thinking that what clothes and what brands would give me an advantage, but honestly if she likes you or not that won't make a difference.

That said there are a lot of DON'T clothes to avoid.

5227484229_ee63f3d3d6_z.jpg
 

Oynox

Member
Regardless of what you wear you should feel comfortable. If you don't feel comfortable you will probably seem off. When I started dating I always put on things I considered chic and appropriate to impress the woman which, of course, depends on the woman you are dating. But I'd never wear something I don't like.
 
Dude you've seen how Ohya dresses. You want a chick to go on a date with you dressed like THAT?
My main problem with Ohya is the fact that she's a sloppy drunk. I'm ok with the graphic tees. I actually liked her when she was introduced because she had a giant camera around her neck and I was trying to figure out what it was. Finding out that she gets blind drunk every night at a bar was the turn off, not the shirts.
Maybe? I guess it's a double standard, because I wouldn't have a problem with it. But I certainly wouldn't show up in a graphic tee for a first date. Shirt needs to have buttons (and not one of these):


As someone pointed out, this wasn't your first date.


Nope. Dress to impress, my dude. Imagine you showed up looking like one of these bros:
2Y7GxxY.png

I try to choose clothes that accentuate my junk. Disney or otherwise.
I would never wear a Goku dress shirt cause they're damn gaudy looking. I do not have it in my budget to dress well like what you posted, I honestly don't even enjoy clothing shopping.
I do not look like a cliched comic book guy. I'm single cause I'm a bit standoffish and bluntly honest, which people just take for me being a dick. On top of this if a woman is just going to blindly judge everything about me cause I wear an anime shirt then that's a woman I shouldn't waste my time trying to impress any way. I'm a dork, it's what I am, I'm pretty sure every woman has a foible or trait that the opposite party would have to get used to as well and would hate it if everybody judged them and dropped them solely based on that one trait.
 

gaiages

Banned
I can't believe we actually have to put "dress like an adult" in the OP

Then again I shouldn't expect anything as a given

I have a shitton of nerdy t-shirts but I would never wear one on a date :|

EDIT: it really doesn't cost that much money to be semi fashionable, Jaded. If you can buy animu shirts you can go to Goodwill and find a nice outfit or two.
 

Salamando

Member
I can't believe we actually have to put "dress like an adult" in the OP

Then again I shouldn't expect anything as a given

I have a shitton of nerdy t-shirts but I would never wear one on a date :|

EDIT: it really doesn't cost that much money to be semi fashionable, Jaded. If you can buy animu shirts you can go to Goodwill and find a nice outfit or two.

You still haven't learned not to underestimate the inexperience of people visiting here? You should know better!

The most important part of being fashionable is buying clothes that fit proper. That McLovin' outfit above would look 100x better if everything fit tighter around his body. Spending 10 minutes to google where a shoulder seam should end or where a shirt's bottom should fall on your body will pay off.
 

Ray Wonder

Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Henleys are a really great option too:



I prefer these types of shirts to show off my chest and arms. Button down shirts are good too but you should shoot for a variety of looks.

If I had their body I'd show up shirtless for sure
 
EDIT: it really doesn't cost that much money to be semi fashionable, Jaded. If you can buy animu shirts you can go to Goodwill and find a nice outfit or two.
I don't think I've been full on new wardrobe shopping for five years. I wear shit for work, replace pants when they rip and I have like 4 dress shirts that fit me...poorl,y a couple of long sleeve shirts and anime tees, I really just do not enjoy spending money on clothing since it doesn't seem to last that long.
 

vern

Member
I don't think I've been full on new wardrobe shopping for five years. I wear shit for work, replace pants when they rip and I have like 4 dress shirts that fit me...poorl,y a couple of long sleeve shirts and anime tees, I really just do not enjoy spending money on clothing since it doesn't seem to last that long.

But it lasts you 5 years 🙃
 

gaiages

Banned
I don't think I've been full on new wardrobe shopping for five years. I wear shit for work, replace pants when they rip and I have like 4 dress shirts that fit me...poorl,y a couple of long sleeve shirts and anime tees, I really just do not enjoy spending money on clothing since it doesn't seem to last that long.

That's why you go to Goodwill and drop like $10 on an outfit

And clothes last longer if you have enough of them to switch out so you're not wearing and washing the same clothes every week. I mean if you work at a food or retail place I don't blame the crap wear, but at least get a nice outfit or two for outside of work.
 
EDIT: it really doesn't cost that much money to be semi fashionable, Jaded. If you can buy animu shirts you can go to Goodwill and find a nice outfit or two.

When I was short on funds there was this clothing store in the mall that would let you return clothes if you weren't happy. I'd buy an outfit, carefully remove the labels, have a night out looking good. Then wash the clothes, reattach the labels and return it to the store because I "didn't like the colour in daylight". I'm sure that hustle would still work.
 
But it lasts you 5 years 🙃
Not really if you've seen how poorly some of this stuff fits me. If I wasn't so cheap I'd trash like all of it and start fresh, but I can "wear" it, nobody at work cares and 95% of the time I'm straight to work and then back home again unless I hit the gym. I guess I really just need strictly date clothing, but then it's stuff I'd barely wear since I only have like 2 or 3 dates a year.
 
other dates? Umm my last date was July of 2016 I know where I stand in the dating game. Haven't had a "second date" since probably 2015.

but then it's stuff I'd barely wear since I only have like 2 or 3 dates a year.

Stop retconning stuff already. You're retreating back to the safe delusional bubble you've created to avoid the real issues you have. You came her for hard feedback which you ignore and handwave. Now you're just here for attention and a continued Jadedwriter pity party.
 

Deitus

Member
Not really if you've seen how poorly some of this stuff fits me. If I wasn't so cheap I'd trash like all of it and start fresh, but I can "wear" it, nobody at work cares and 95% of the time I'm straight to work and then back home again unless I hit the gym. I guess I really just need strictly date clothing, but then it's stuff I'd barely wear since I only have like 2 or 3 dates a year.

Strictly date clothing is not a bad idea in your case. And if you're only going on 2-3 dates a year, you would only need a few things and they would last for a very long time. Not everyone should try to go the high fashion route (it's certainly not my style) but if you aren't going someplace where more formal dress is expected, a simple dress shirt and pants or nice jeans (not ripped or too baggy) can serve you well in most casual settings. Or at least that's what I go with, and hopefully I'm not doing it wrong.

You don't need to try to impress especially fashionable women, because that's probably not the type of woman you are compatible with. But even for girls that are perfectly okay with anime shirts, on an actual date they generally like to see that you put some effort into your appearance, because they probably did as well. Dressing like its just a normal day shows a lack of interest in them. It might be okay for a casual coffee meet-up or a spur of the moment "Hey, I'm in your area, wanna grab some lunch?" since there isn't a lot of expectation of effort in that case. But for anything datey you really want her to think you are trying to impress her, because you should be trying to impress her.

On the flip side, don't put on a costume. Don't pick an outfit out of a fashion magazine (or a Neogaf post) and wear it because someone told you it was fashionable. Find something that you think looks good on you and you feel comfortable in, but looks nicer than what you would wear on a day when you don't care what anyone thinks of you.
 
you're in a steady relationship tho

Am I? She hasn't met my friends (yet). We haven't been inside each other's apartments (yet).

I mean I think it's heading that way. I don't have any interest in seeing other people. I feel guilty when I check apps, so I stopped last week.

She has implied she isn't seeing anyone else either. But I still think it's too early to call it. We are at a point where it's implied we are going to keep seeing each, but I don't think shed call me her boyfriend.
 
So i have been dating this girl for a little more then a month now and i think i have to end it. She is cute with an amazing body but for someone that is 35 and been living in the city for 6 years she only has 1 maybe 2 friends and that includes her sister. She doesn't have any outside the house hobbies and is way more lazy then i expected.

All of this would be fine if she wasn't falling for me hard, and saying she is missing me and sad and the day is crappy because she couldn't see me. I dont want to take a one way trip down codependency lane. This part is the worst.
 

gaiages

Banned
*grumble* I'll add a bonus section about how to dress when I get home from work. I know there's a link that's typically provided that's really good, could someone link that again? Also any other quotes/links/whatever y'all want in there. Wasn't there a Men's Fashion OT somewhere, or did someone just wish there was?

Also Jaded, look, you really gotta stop making excuses for everything. If you want success, you're going to need to make some changes, and you really don't have any good excuses. You don't want to buy clothes because they don't fit? Find shit that fits. Yeah it'll take more than two minutes in and out of a store, but that's what everyone that gives two shits about themselves have to do. Too expensive? Go to a thrift store or a lower end clothes store and find stuff there. You're a nerdy black man? Holy shit you're the only nerdy black man on the face of the earth, you'll never get a date! :|

Come the fuck on dude, this shit's getting old. If you don't want to change, fine, but expect more goth music and jokes at your expense in the future.
 
*grumble* I'll add a bonus section about how to dress when I get home from work. I know there's a link that's typically provided that's really good, could someone link that again? Also any other quotes/links/whatever y'all want in there. Wasn't there a Men's Fashion OT somewhere, or did someone just wish there was?

Also Jaded, look, you really gotta stop making excuses for everything. If you want success, you're going to need to make some changes, and you really don't have any good excuses. You don't want to buy clothes because they don't fit? Find shit that fits. Yeah it'll take more than two minutes in and out of a store, but that's what everyone that gives two shits about themselves have to do. Too expensive? Go to a thrift store or a lower end clothes store and find stuff there. You're a nerdy black man? Holy shit you're the only nerdy black man on the face of the earth, you'll never get a date! :|

Come the fuck on dude, this shit's getting old. If you don't want to change, fine, but expect more goth music and jokes at your expense in the future.

It's this: https://ashleyweston.com/mens-wardrobe-essentials/. At least for me. Also, once you find a brand that fits (Brooks Brothers and Banana Republic mediums for me), you can just order online.

And yeah, I'm tiring of the pity party. Jaded needs to take ONE affirmative step forward, and clothes are probably it. Looking like trash ain't the way to sell yourself.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom