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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Baki

Member
Question GAF:

- Met up with a girl that I met via a shared professional network (We both won an award, recipients of that award have a private network)
- Prior to meeting up, conversation was brief (from my end) but always casual / flirty -- never any pretext of professionalism

Now here's how that went...
- We both had a great time & ended up hanging from 6pm until 2am
- Enjoys my company

But here are things that I know I fucked up (coz im shy as fuck)
- Asked me why I reached out. Just said I was just reading out to people and meeting them -- I got the vibe here that she wanted to know if this was a date & I fucked up...
- We went dancing -- I have a lot of anxiety about dancing coz I can't dance for shit. I did dance, but didn't engage her that we'll...

Now I have mixed thoughts:
- I know she enjoys my company.
- BUT don't know if she has romantic interest in me....

Here's why:
- She's friendly person. So us getting along could've been that...
- When we were out dancing, after a while, starting dancing with another guy. (But came back to me...but then again, she was the only person I knew. So perhaps felt a responsibility to dance with me...)

So GAF...

What say ye about all this.
 

PaulloDEC

Member
Question guys, currently not really talking to anyone in particle, had a few girls very casual talk nothing at all. I'm 20 at the moment and just going with the flow of life but curious at what age did most of you guys or girls start to get more out there for dating or relationships?
It's a weird question I know but just curious since I broke up with my ex a year ago it's been slow for me on the meeting or dates side. I'm emotionally ready to move on but waiting till the next person comes into my life is always something on my mind. And id rather just let it happen then force anything.

I pretty much didn't even start thinking about dating until I was 24. It wasn't that I was disinterested in meeting people; there just weren't a lot of opportunities where I live and I wasn't really aware of dating sites.
 

Salamando

Member
Question GAF:

- Met up with a girl that I met via a shared professional network (We both won an award, recipients of that award have a private network)
- Prior to meeting up, conversation was brief (from my end) but always casual / flirty -- never any pretext of professionalism

Now here's how that went...
- We both had a great time & ended up hanging from 6pm until 2am
- Enjoys my company

But here are things that I know I fucked up (coz im shy as fuck)
- Asked me why I reached out. Just said I was just reading out to people and meeting them -- I got the vibe here that she wanted to know if this was a date & I fucked up...
- We went dancing -- I have a lot of anxiety about dancing coz I can't dance for shit. I did dance, but didn't engage her that we'll...

Now I have mixed thoughts:
- I know she enjoys my company.
- BUT don't know if she has romantic interest in me....

Here's why:
- She's friendly person. So us getting along could've been that...
- When we were out dancing, after a while, starting dancing with another guy. (But came back to me...but then again, she was the only person I knew. So perhaps felt a responsibility to dance with me...)

So GAF...

What say ye about all this.

Have you considered asking her out on a date, and making it clear it will be a date and not "professional outreach"?
 

AllGamer

Member
Question GAF:

- Met up with a girl that I met via a shared professional network (We both won an award, recipients of that award have a private network)
- Prior to meeting up, conversation was brief (from my end) but always casual / flirty -- never any pretext of professionalism

Now here's how that went...
- We both had a great time & ended up hanging from 6pm until 2am
- Enjoys my company

But here are things that I know I fucked up (coz im shy as fuck)
- Asked me why I reached out. Just said I was just reading out to people and meeting them -- I got the vibe here that she wanted to know if this was a date & I fucked up...
- We went dancing -- I have a lot of anxiety about dancing coz I can't dance for shit. I did dance, but didn't engage her that we'll...

Now I have mixed thoughts:
- I know she enjoys my company.
- BUT don't know if she has romantic interest in me....

Here's why:
- She's friendly person. So us getting along could've been that...
- When we were out dancing, after a while, starting dancing with another guy. (But came back to me...but then again, she was the only person I knew. So perhaps felt a responsibility to dance with me...)

So GAF...

What say ye about all this.

Ask her out on a real date. And actually use the word "date".
 

Magwik

Banned
I'm sitting here struggling with taking interest in others and being myself, yet a 15 minute phone call with my ex and I never felt like any of those were an issue
Rip me I guess
 
- met up with a girl
- shes got blow
- we high now.... she likes tool
- listening to 10000 days
- scent of lavender is present
- gay bar is an option
- would rather chill
- god save me
 

Salamando

Member
Doing that tomorrow.

Just wanted to get handle on whether the signs indicated that she sees this in a friendly way rather than romantically...

It's hard enough telling if someone is being friendly or flirty when you're there. You're an unreliable narrator telling the story through your lens, making it near impossible for us to tell you anything.

Asking her out removes all doubt. Just do it.
 
I don't believe it. Who the fuck would go on gaf in that situation
believewhat you want meng

Gaf is a funny thing. I used to just share my stories with a few gaffers on the PSN chat but we have not been posting there much so I decided to share my stuff here instead. You might here some crazy shit from me sometimes but none of it is bulllshit.

Most of it is my hilarious failures but sometimes I have a good night.
 
Living on the Isle of Man, population 87,000, is that everyone knows everyone else. There are about a dozen women spread across all of the dating apps (OKC, PoF, Tinder, Bumble etc) none of which I'm at all interested in. Main reason I think is, most women are embarrassed about being seen on there because everyone knows everyone!

Meeting women is honestly pretty difficult over here. I don't go to clubs anymore - 1). The expense 2). Over here, they're all shit. 3). I'm 33 and just not that interested in that scene anymore.

My last girlfriend actually lived in Glasgow (love that place). I'd love to move to somewhere like Glasgow, or perhaps Belfast, but I can't justify it just to find love...

I did ask out a girl this morning mind you, but she has a boyfriend. A Uni girl, so only here for a few weeks. Nevermind, if you don't ask you'll never know.
 

jwk94

Member
Living on the Isle of Man, population 87,000, is that everyone knows everyone else. There are about a dozen women spread across all of the dating apps (OKC, PoF, Tinder, Bumble etc) none of which I'm at all interested in. Main reason I think is, most women are embarrassed about being seen on there because everyone knows everyone!

Meeting women is honestly pretty difficult over here. I don't go to clubs anymore - 1). The expense 2). Over here, they're all shit. 3). I'm 33 and just not that interested in that scene anymore.

My last girlfriend actually lived in Glasgow (love that place). I'd love to move to somewhere like Glasgow, or perhaps Belfast, but I can't justify it just to find love...

I did ask out a girl this morning mind you, but she has a boyfriend. A Uni girl, so only here for a few weeks. Nevermind, if you don't ask you'll never know.

I don't have much to contribute other than to say that I thought you were kidding about the "Isle of Man," until I looked it up. That's a badass name.
 
Living on the Isle of Man, population 87,000, is that everyone knows everyone else. There are about a dozen women spread across all of the dating apps (OKC, PoF, Tinder, Bumble etc) none of which I'm at all interested in. Main reason I think is, most women are embarrassed about being seen on there because everyone knows everyone!

Meeting women is honestly pretty difficult over here. I don't go to clubs anymore - 1). The expense 2). Over here, they're all shit. 3). I'm 33 and just not that interested in that scene anymore.

My last girlfriend actually lived in Glasgow (love that place). I'd love to move to somewhere like Glasgow, or perhaps Belfast, but I can't justify it just to find love...

I did ask out a girl this morning mind you, but she has a boyfriend. A Uni girl, so only here for a few weeks. Nevermind, if you don't ask you'll never know.

Better start talking to women in coffee shops or pubs then. I lived on the Isle of Wight, still managed to get a girlfriend. She lived in the same village, don't let the population number think it makes any real difference to finding someone. There's less competition too!
 
Better start talking to women in coffee shops or pubs then. I lived on the Isle of Wight, still managed to get a girlfriend. She lived in the same village, don't let the population number think it makes any real difference to finding someone. There's less competition too!

There's 53,000 additional people on the Isle of Wight to meet haha. No but you're right of course, although it does often feel like women over here are very hmm, reserved or stay very much within their closed social circles. I've had more attractive women from the US on Instagram interested in me lately than I have done from anyone on island in years! So I dunno!

It's where men go when they can't find love.

That's a terrifying thought.
 
There's 53,000 additional people on the Isle of Wight to meet haha. No but you're right of course, although it does often feel like women over here are very hmm, reserved or stay very much within their closed social circles. I've had more attractive women from the US on Instagram interested in me lately than I have done from anyone on island in years!.

Island population stats of Great Britain, I didn't know that. In my mind they looked about the same size. How long does it take to get to the mainland?
 

KUON.0101

Member
I admit I took the immature route. On the other hand the first message and only message to me is "... isn't it spelled <X>?" is all you can muster. Why should I put the effort into attempting to spin it into a joke when she can't put the effort into forming a sentence with more than 4 words. Also I admit its the ... and lack of a wink or something at the end that pissed me off about it. Sure, point out my spelling mistake. But lets be light hearted about it at least. Her message came off as critical and a bit snobbish to me. And thats why I unmatched.

I think you have a problem with feedback/criticism.

How do you even manage at work??!
 
25 min flight to Liverpool or 2-4 hours on the ferry. Can fly to quite a few places in the UK, including London, but for some reason our prices to leave are mostly extortionate.

The-Prisoner.jpg
 
Ended up going solo to my usual bar last night. Hit it off with a woman in her mid-30s and ended up talking until 1 AM. Made a bad move when she asked how old I was and didn't lie cause she seemed to freak out when I told her 21 lol but still got her number so all good.
 
I admit I took the immature route. On the other hand the first message and only message to me is "... isn't it spelled <X>?" is all you can muster. Why should I put the effort into attempting to spin it into a joke when she can't put the effort into forming a sentence with more than 4 words. Also I admit its the ... and lack of a wink or something at the end that pissed me off about it. Sure, point out my spelling mistake. But lets be light hearted about it at least. Her message came off as critical and a bit snobbish to me. And thats why I unmatched.
You sound like someone I would not have a beer with, just based on what you said.
 

gaiages

Banned
So I matched with a girl on Bumble. As you may know, the girl has to message first. So, the first thing she says to me is I misspelled a word in my profile text.

So I unmatched her.

I guess this is why I'm single.

lol

Proofread your profiles at least

If I had to do it over again, I'd still unmatch her. For an app that requires women to message first, I don't see cause to treat first messages from women on it as some sort of rare thing that should be treated with kid gloves.

You'll come to find out that just because women have to message first doesn't mean they will nor will they put effort into said messages.

Trust me, the one pointing out your typo was more effort than most of the messages you'll get.
 

FyreWulff

Member
there's a difference between not having self-esteem and viewing a woman breathing in your direction as a sign of marriage viability and shooting down someone who made it clear they read your profile and tried to open up with light banter. shoulda just messaged back with something like "autocorrect got me again. what's your favorite kind of pet, a cat or a Dodge?"
 
Living on the Isle of Man, population 87,000, is that everyone knows everyone else. There are about a dozen women spread across all of the dating apps (OKC, PoF, Tinder, Bumble etc) none of which I'm at all interested in. Main reason I think is, most women are embarrassed about being seen on there because everyone knows everyone!

Meeting women is honestly pretty difficult over here. I don't go to clubs anymore - 1). The expense 2). Over here, they're all shit. 3). I'm 33 and just not that interested in that scene anymore.

My last girlfriend actually lived in Glasgow (love that place). I'd love to move to somewhere like Glasgow, or perhaps Belfast, but I can't justify it just to find love...

I did ask out a girl this morning mind you, but she has a boyfriend. A Uni girl, so only here for a few weeks. Nevermind, if you don't ask you'll never know.

Move to Glasgow! It's the best.
 

Llyranor

Member
&#127773; i find the structure helps clarify situation and encourage the most helpful responses...
You are not following dating-GAF etiquette and tradition. We demand multi-paragraphed essays when it involves girls you haven't even been on a date with yet, for our entertainment.
 

Peltz

Member
So I matched with a girl on Bumble. As you may know, the girl has to message first. So, the first thing she says to me is I misspelled a word in my profile text.

So I unmatched her.

I guess this is why I'm single.

Man... and I thought I was picky.
 
He might not be American &#128584;

As an American and a trained geographer (probably the least useful bachelor degree I could have got... oops) I gotta say from my personal experience our geography is quite good.

Not at the community college level, at least in SoCal.
Source: geography quizzes in Physical Geography class where people didn't know where China is. Even Trump knows where China is.
 

gaiages

Banned
How good your American education is derived solely on where you live and you hope it's #blessed enough to not be a shithole

I went to school in a good district for most of my primary learning, but the last two years I went to a redneck district and the difference was culture shock worthy, in both terms of the learning and the types of student going there.
 
How good your American education is derived solely on where you live and you hope it's #blessed enough to not be a shithole

I went to school in a good district for most of my primary learning, but the last two years I went to a redneck district and the difference was culture shock worthy, in both terms of the learning and the types of student going there.
From Minnesota and briefly moved to Arizona as a kid for a couple years, it was pretty noticeable even at a young age that the education system was pretty different. It was a huge shock at the time and when I moved back to Minnesota everyone seemed smarter than my Arizona classmates. (No offense Arizona gaf)
 
LookatmeGo:

Be careful with Coke. It almost ruined my life. I'd argue it did, to some degree.

As for education. I went to school in oregon then transferred down to socal. The stuff I was learning in southern ca in high school was the same stuff I was learning in middle school in oregon.
 

Makonero

Member
From Minnesota and briefly moved to Arizona as a kid for a couple years, it was pretty noticeable even at a young age that the education system was pretty different. It was a huge shock at the time and when I moved back to Minnesota everyone seemed smarter than my Arizona classmates. (No offense Arizona gaf)

Arizona has some of the worst schools because they treat teachers like shit here. Seriously.
 

artsi

Member
Gave rich girl the kiss, or actually two.

She said, "you finally dared" ( &#865;° &#860;&#662; &#865;°)

Girl I tried before but you rejected it!
Anyway, mission successful.

Now to clean up my place and prepare for tomorrow's movie night with the Instagram girl.
 

dcelw540

Junior Member
Gave rich girl the kiss, or actually two.

She said, "you finally dared" ( &#865;° &#860;&#662; &#865;°)


Girl I tried before but you rejected it!
Anyway, mission successful.

Now to clean up my place and prepare for tomorrow's movie night with the Instagram girl.

WWrya.gif
 
Gave rich girl the kiss, or actually two.

She said, "you finally dared" ( &#865;° &#860;&#662; &#865;°)

Girl I tried before but you rejected it!
Anyway, mission successful.

Now to clean up my place and prepare for tomorrow's movie night with the Instagram girl.

I hope she's worth all this grade school bullshit.
 

artsi

Member
I hope she's worth all this grade school bullshit.

I hope so too.

If this pace continues then we're getting to have sex in let's see... 6 months?

But aside from that, all dates have been really fun, she is smart, educated and challenges me in conversations.
We're on the same wavelength when it comes to humor etc.
 
How good your American education is derived solely on where you live and you hope it's #blessed enough to not be a shithole.
What education? I remember being stuck in day care for thirteen years of my life, though.
(Horribly bitter about my school experience.)
 

Peltz

Member
I hope so too.

If this pace continues then we're getting to have sex in let's see... 6 months?

But aside from that, all dates have been really fun, she is smart, educated and challenges me in conversations.
We're on the same wavelength when it comes to humor etc.

Some things are worth waiting for.
 
Hello all! How's everyone doing? Having a good day?

I was hoping to get some some feedback and who better to ask than the thoughtful, experienced and articulate people of dating gaf.

It's not relationship feedback, so I hope that's OK. Things are going really well on that front, she met my sister a few days ago, which was a huge milestone for me. My sister instantly fell in love and told me not to mess this up. Next is her mum and dad, I'm really nervous, but I think it'll be OK.

I'm posting because I'm a little confused about something happening between a friend and myself. We met over 18 months ago and we actually tried dating, but we both agreed there wasn't anything there but we got on really well and we liked each others company so decided to remain friends. We've been becoming closer as friends, she has met my girlfriend multiple times and we've even gone on double dates, but recently she's behaving in an odd way.

When we're out together, she'll sometimes hold my hand and say she's holding it because she's anxious (she does suffer from anxiety when she's in crowded places but holding my hand is a new development), she's hugging me a lot more too and she holds on for a second or two longer than she used to, she is touching me a lot more too. As an example, we'll be talking and she'll scoot over to be closer to me so we're touching or she'll rest her head on my shoulder if we're having coffee. It's the last parts which actually made me want to get some feedback on why she might be behaving this way.

I do not believe I have sent any signals that I'm interested in being more than friends and so far as I know, she still feels the same (admittedly we haven't spoken about this in almost a year), but her behaviour is worrying me a little. Should I be concerned or is her behaviour part of her becoming more comfortable around me and seeing as a closer friend?
 

gaiages

Banned
What education? I remember being stuck in day care for thirteen years of my life, though.
(Horribly bitter about my school experience.)

I don't blame anyone for being bitter, especially those with parents that force them into "alternative" schools that oftentimes don't have a real curriculum or... anything, really.

I know a kid who went to this super hippie "school" for like elementary and middle school. They didn't teach anything unless the kids wanted to learn it... so obviously instead of teaching anything the kids ran around unsupervised every day instead. Of course the few times someone ACTUALLY wanted to learn something the teachers weren't really qualified to teach all the different subjects.

The fact that schools like that can both exist and be allowed to be the child's only source of an education is downright absurd.

Of course, this 0% has to do with dating. TRY AND STOP ME MWAHAH
 
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