Hey there.
First and foremost, drop your ego if you feel embarrassed posting in here. We're here to help you and not to judge you. By sticking with us, hopefully you can find the success you've been hoping for. A lot of GAFfers in the old threads had great success because they stuck with it. I hope you'll do the same.
This OP won't include the fabulous lists that are in OT2, mostly because that's already been done, and also because I'd like to focus on 3 core concepts this time around.
If you'll allow me to advise you for a short bit before setting this thread off on its merry way, let me say this:
Make sure your journey towards getting better at dating includes a healthy dose of self-improvement.
Take up cooking (Great date idea and a life skill. Try Iron-GAF, the cooking thread.)
Try to dress better. (Try some looks in the men's fashion thread.)
Start up (or get back to work) at the gym (Try the P90X thread or the general fitness thread.)
Read more books on a variety of topics
Play less video games
Try to get a better job if you hate your current one
Move to a new city or out of your parents' house
Do well in school
Set some goals
Take up some new hobbies
Join some clubs or co-ed sports teams
Learn a language
Etc.
Doing some of these things serves a triple-purpose: you'll be broadening your horizons, becoming a more interesting person to talk to, and you'll be forced into a lot more social situations. More social situations means you'll meet new friends and be introduced to more women, either through these new friends or the situations themselves.
Lastly, remember that the journey that is learning about dating never really stops. No matter your age or experience level, there is always something to learn. Be sure to listen to those who know more than you and be prepared to continuously get your hands dirty so you can understand the lessons they're trying to help you learn.
Ladies and gentlemen, I wish you all the best and tonnes of success in your future. Let's get this thing started.
First and foremost, drop your ego if you feel embarrassed posting in here. We're here to help you and not to judge you. By sticking with us, hopefully you can find the success you've been hoping for. A lot of GAFfers in the old threads had great success because they stuck with it. I hope you'll do the same.
Thread Guidelines said:1. Read PXG's fantastic Girl/Dating Age OT2 OP if you're new to this thread. It'll probably answer some of your questions if they're very basic.
2. Be respectful of other posters. Don't be an asshole. This also includes respecting other's views for/against stuff like Pick-Up Artist (PUA) lingo, which has been known to be controversial.
3. Some of our female posters have been known to drop in here and drop some sage advice. Respect them because they're giving you a very valuable perspective. Make them feel welcome because we want them to feel like they can ask us questions too.
4. Continuing onward from the above, don't be a misogynist piece of shit in this thread. Using words like "bitch/cunt/etc." to describe someone who, say, flaked on you isn't a good look for you. She's not a bitch, but you are a sore loser when this happens.
5. As per NeoGAF's TOS, don't post graphic fanfic-esque retellings of your Dear Penthouse escapades. We're happy that you had sex. (We actually are, honest!) If you have to give tips because a Member has requested it, please keep it somewhat clean and concise. Use PMs if you want to go into further detail.
This OP won't include the fabulous lists that are in OT2, mostly because that's already been done, and also because I'd like to focus on 3 core concepts this time around.
POSITIVITY said:This one can be tough at times, and even seem unrealistic at others. Life gets hard and there's no denying that. But unless you've got something to be really upset or sullen about, you're wasting time and energy. You have the power to control the way you perceive the world around you. Your attitude is very important.
Positivity can help you turn what you once saw as failures into learning experiences.
CONFIDENCE said:Confidence is king. Confidence is absolute.
Without confidence, you're not going anywhere. You won't know how many women, in any given day, are thinking you look interesting/fun/handsome until you exercise some confidence and simply talk to them. It's stupidly easy and frustratingly hard at the same time, we know.
Confidence is something we in here can try to suggest that you learn, but no amount of reading about it will teach it to you. You're going to have to crash and burn horribly at first. But, if you're staying positive, you'll learn that things get way easier with practise. Rejection will sting less and less because you'll be getting more confident. Break-ups will hurt less and less because you'll be confident in your ability to find another woman, with time.
Another shape confidence takes is being comfortable alone, being a single man. You don't need a woman, you don't need to have sex, you don't need a companion. Realise that these are wants rather than needs or necessities. Learn to have fun with friends and by yourself when you're single. Remember that your life is your own to live and that comparing yourself to others with partners or having lots of success with women isn't going to help you if you're stressing over it. So, be confident and kick ass when you're single. This is a necessity.
Confidence is king. Confidence is absolute.
NOT BEING A "NICE" GUY said:Don't be a "nice" guy. Just stop. You're worth more than that.
I don't like to use the phrase "putting the pussy on a pedestal" anymore since telling someone to quit being a "nice" guy is much more helpful when it comes with an explanation.
What is a "nice" guy? He's the guy who befriends women not because he wants to be their friend, but because he wants something that he's either too afraid to ask for (lack of confidence in himself) or because he thinks that she's a super swell gal who deserves to be doted on and idealized. The former is kind of creepy, but the latter is what some of you will be having trouble with, without even knowing it. This is what we call the dreaded "Friend Zone."
No, we're not going to help you get out of the friend zone with that girl. You can get out, but it rarely happens. That's another rule we use around here, "the exception rather than the rule." What we're going to do is tell you to move on and try not to friend zone yourself with the next girl. By being confident in yourself and asking -- sooner rather than later -- a girl you're attracted to for her number or out on a date, you avoid dropping yourself square in the friend zone with this next girl.
You can still be a nice guy. You should be a gentleman. But a "nice" guy is the guy we're trying to stop you from being. This doesn't mean be more of a douchebag though, so if you're interpreting this section that way, please read through it again.
If you'll allow me to advise you for a short bit before setting this thread off on its merry way, let me say this:
Make sure your journey towards getting better at dating includes a healthy dose of self-improvement.
Take up cooking (Great date idea and a life skill. Try Iron-GAF, the cooking thread.)
Try to dress better. (Try some looks in the men's fashion thread.)
Start up (or get back to work) at the gym (Try the P90X thread or the general fitness thread.)
Read more books on a variety of topics
Play less video games
Try to get a better job if you hate your current one
Move to a new city or out of your parents' house
Do well in school
Set some goals
Take up some new hobbies
Join some clubs or co-ed sports teams
Learn a language
Etc.
Doing some of these things serves a triple-purpose: you'll be broadening your horizons, becoming a more interesting person to talk to, and you'll be forced into a lot more social situations. More social situations means you'll meet new friends and be introduced to more women, either through these new friends or the situations themselves.
Lastly, remember that the journey that is learning about dating never really stops. No matter your age or experience level, there is always something to learn. Be sure to listen to those who know more than you and be prepared to continuously get your hands dirty so you can understand the lessons they're trying to help you learn.
Ladies and gentlemen, I wish you all the best and tonnes of success in your future. Let's get this thing started.