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Gay Honor student cant wear tux to prom. "Girls wear dresses and boys wear tuxes"

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Kinsei

Banned
I would have no issue if she has gender dysphoria and identifies as a man and wants to wear male clothing. But she is just gay.. she identifies as a woman.. so she has to follow the formal women's dress code. The end. You don't get to swap just cus you feel like it. It would have been nice when I was in the Army to be able to follow the female hair grooming standards cus buzz cuts are boring.

Except there was no separate dress code for guys & girls until they found out she wanted to wear a tux. Even then, different dress codes based on gender are complete bullshit that should be done away with.
 

Replicant

Member
So....what does this have to do with her being gay?

Doesn't sound like they are discriminating against her because of her sexual orientation, they just want to maintain a dress code for their event.

Sounds like a sensationalist article to me.

Dress code for prom? Where are you from? Planet boring?
 

Hugstable

Banned
Dress Codes for things like that are still a thing? And even if they are, who the hell cares if she wears a tux, it's not like it's gonna affect them unless they are some kind of asshole that feels weird by seeing a girl in a tux. Really silly.
 

Kazerei

Banned
How is it not? A tuxedo is not formal wear for a woman, a dress is not formal wear for a man.
What defines formal other than tradition though? It used to be that a jacket and tie would be required for a man at an upscale restaurant, now it is fairly loose. A doublet and tights used to be formal wear for men in the past, but you go to a job interview like that and I don't think they will accept that.
It's all arbitrary rules, let's not pretend otherwise.

Yeah the rules are arbitrary, but at this point I'd say it's widely considered that tuxedos are formal wear for women too. It's not a crazy new thing at all. I'd say the tradition that women have to wear dresses has largely died off.

Marlene Dietrich
cmNTVsr.jpg


Katharine Hepburn
xGtspfG.png


Princess Diana
Q3Vm25G.jpg


Anne Hathaway
EsFIEiP.jpg


This thread is so weird because I can't imagine anyone in real life gasping at the idea of a woman wearing a tuxedo. I can't imagine anyone looking at the above photos and thinking those women aren't being classy and formal.

During the 2011 Oscars, when Anne Hathaway came out in a tuxedo and James Franco in a dress, the joke was all on Franco. I don't think Hathaway in a tuxedo fazed anyone. Sadly while it's acceptable for women to wear tuxes, it's not acceptable yet for men to wear dresses.
 
Am I really seeing all these nonsensical responses in support of maintaining the oppressive gender binary at all costs?

Some people.

Edit: I'd wear a tux to prom. I only wear dresses as a joke or to troll my friends, haha.
 

twobear

sputum-flecked apoplexy
It's interesting in this thread how few people know the difference between formal and informal attire. Typical probably more so.

honestly though it's a webforum about videogames, is anyone really surprised that some people are struggling with the difference??
 

Raptomex

Member
People are fucked up. Let her wear whatever she wants. Who gives a shit? I never understood the prom obsession in high school and I still don't understand it but those who want to go should be able to go and have a good time without dealing with bullshit like this.
 

Agremont

Member
I personally see no point in forcing people to dress according to their gender, but at the same time, organizers of an event get to choose the rules.

No matter how I wrap my head around it, I cannot fathom why it would matter that a woman dressed in a tuxedo though. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen? Nothing. That's right, nothing.
 

besada

Banned
What makes you think ACLU gives a hoot about a girl in smalltown USA not wanting to abide by a prom dress code for no real reason whatsoever? She might have a (slightly contentious) cause if she was transgender, but now she basically wants a preferential treatment because she's gay. Of course you can debate the merits of a strict dress code for a school dance in the first place, and I'd be the first to agree with you, but that's not for ACLU.

Because they've not only handled cases like this in the past, but actually have a help page dedicated to the issue?

https://www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights_hiv-aids/prom-resources-lgbt-students
Other decisions have found that enforcing outdated notions that only boys can wear tuxedoes and only girls can wear dresses to formal school dances is illegal. Other federal courts have ruled in the same way, most recently in the case of McMillen v. Itawamba County School District.

There is already precedence set in cases like these and the principal is going against its grain, without support from his superiors. If the girl bothers to pursue it, he's apt to find himself in hot water.
 

Moosichu

Member
Traditions are per definition things you do that have no basis in rationality, otherwise they would be logical and not tradition. You're kind of asking an impossible thing here.

Traditions don't have to be maintained. And when they go against logic there is really no need for them to stick around.
 

Aureon

Please do not let me serve on a jury. I am actually a crazy person.
My favourite post was when that guy said that what the Oscars' host wore is not formal enough for a high school prom.
 

Newt

Member
I don't understand why her being gay is even relevant here. This is based on gender, is it not?

Reading the article the girl feels like she is being discriminated for sexual orientation?

That is surely not the case.
 

ampere

Member
If a girl wants to wear a suit I don't see how that is a problem at all. Sometimes women wear suits in the business world, it's not even a weird or unusual thing.
 

Beloved

Member
Parts of this thread feels like time traveling back to the 50's.

The school has the right to require their students wear appropriate attire to a formal event, but they shouldn't have the right to enforce outdated gender roles.

A female wearing a tux/suit is perfectly acceptable and I find it hard to believe her sexuality isn't related to this suddenly being an issue.

That said, the hyperbole and click bait in the article and original post is ridiculous.
 

Tigress

Member
Because the dress code is formal.

I guess the better question is why is it formal? What harm is there in letting people not be formal?

As I mentioned before, our school didn't even believe in that BS and letting people come to our Bash (our version of Prom) in jeans and shirt didn't ruin anyone's evening. And plenty of kids dressed up and even took out limos and such because they wanted to make a big deal of it and it was special to them. And the kids who didn't think dressing up was needed to make it special enjoyed it too. Hell, I think we even had a few guys in dresses (and more for the joke of it even so they were outright just joking around and it still didn't ruin anyone's fun including the people who wanted to take the event more seriously).

So... why do the people who want to wear formal feel that it would ruin it for them to allow others to enjoy it the way they want to?

Why is it so important to exclude everyone except for the people whose idea is exactly the same as yours as to how to enjoy it?

Not to mention, this whole conversation is a bit side tracking cause the person in question wasn't asking to dress casual. She was asking to dress formal and was taking the event seriously so it's not even like you can argue she was just trying to troll.
 

StayDead

Member
I'm not entirely sure why her being gay is even being brought up here. Surely it's more the fact she's a girl wanting to wear a tux, not only gay girls wear tuxes. Plenty of women wear tuxedos and suits all the time and nobody bats an eyelid. This just seems like an outdated rule they've made up on the spot to stop someone from doing what they want to do.

If a guy wants to wear a dress it doesn't mean he has to be gay either. I can't believe we still in the year 2015 apply genders to clothes. People should be allowed to wear whatever the hell they feel the most comfortable in. It just doesn't make any sense that some people still can't seem to let it be that simple.
 

Beloved

Member
I'm not entirely sure why her being gay is even being brought up here. Surely it's more the fact she's a girl wanting to wear a tux, not only gay girls wear tuxes. Plenty of women wear tuxedos and suits all the time and nobody bats an eyelid. This just seems like an outdated rule they've made up on the spot to stop someone from doing what they want to do.

If a guy wants to wear a dress it doesn't mean he has to be gay either.I can't believe we still in the year 2015 apply genders to clothes. People should be allowed to wear whatever the hell they feel the most comfortable in. It just doesn't make any sense that some people still can't seem to let it be that simple.

I agree.

It's also ridiculous we apply certain styles of dress to different sexualities as well.

The way LGBT+ people dress is just as varied as straight people. Her being gay has nothing to do with her desire to wear a tux.
 

Razmos

Member
I guess the better question is why is it formal? What harm is there in letting people not be formal?

As I mentioned before, our school didn't even believe in that BS and letting people come to our Bash (our version of Prom) in jeans and shirt didn't ruin anyone's evening. And plenty of kids dressed up and even took out limos and such because they wanted to make a big deal of it and it was special to them. And the kids who didn't think dressing up was needed to make it special enjoyed it too. Hell, I think we even had a few guys in dresses (and more for the joke of it even so they were outright just joking around and it still didn't ruin anyone's fun).

So... why do the people who want to wear formal feel that it would ruin it for them to allow others to enjoy it the way they want to?

Why is it so important to exclude everyone except for the people whose idea is exactly the same as yours as to how to enjoy it?

Not to mention, this whole conversation is a bit irrelevant cause the person in question wasn't asking to dress casual. She was asking to dress formal and was taking the event seriously so it's not even like you can argue she was just trying to troll.
I honestly have no idea, I don't understand the fascination with having to dress formal. I can understand some big grand event or something, but formal wear just isn't for me at all.

And in the context of the high school prom.. who gives a damn? It's a party for the kids, not the adults. I personally think they should be able to wear what they want.
I simply didn't go to the formal prom we had at my school, I just stayed at home with my best friend, got drunk and watched bad movies.

And you are exactly right, the conversation IS irrelevant, and I honestly got sick of people saying stuff like "Well if I wanted to go in a T-shirt and jeans, should I be allowed?" because they are completely missing the point. What she wanted to wear was formal, they simply took exception because of her gender.
 
I would have no issue if she has gender dysphoria and identifies as a man and wants to wear male clothing. But she is just gay.. she identifies as a woman.. so she has to follow the formal women's dress code. The end. You don't get to swap just cus you feel like it. It would have been nice when I was in the Army to be able to follow the female hair grooming standards cus buzz cuts are boring.

This isn't the army. She's not going into combat, she's spending an hour in a dingy ballroom dancing to top 40s. If the school can't think of a reasonable reason as to why she can't wear the exact type of attire required for the event beyond her being a girl and girls wear dresses, then she should be allowed to wear the tux if that's what she feels comfortable wearing. This isn't about her wanting to be special. This rigid adherence to gender binary dress is archaic and superfluous.
 
I'm not entirely sure why her being gay is even being brought up here. Surely it's more the fact she's a girl wanting to wear a tux, not only gay girls wear tuxes. Plenty of women wear tuxedos and suits all the time and nobody bats an eyelid. This just seems like an outdated rule they've made up on the spot to stop someone from doing what they want to do.

If a guy wants to wear a dress it doesn't mean he has to be gay either. I can't believe we still in the year 2015 apply genders to clothes. People should be allowed to wear whatever the hell they feel the most comfortable in. It just doesn't make any sense that some people still can't seem to let it be that simple.

It seems to me that the school singled her out for being gay and wanting to wear a tux, thus the mention in the article?

The article states she is openly gay, so that why they mention her sexual orientation.

I don't know what being gay and choosing to wear a tux have to do with one another. Tuxes and suits are great and make the wearer feel regal. There are plenty of women in Fortune 500 companies that wear a suit, many of them top executives.
 
Yeah no, sorry. Some women don't feel comfortable wearing dresses and would rather not. Who are you or anyone else to impose what they should, or should not wear.

It's sexist, pure and simple.

Depends. You are absolutely right about that they should be able to wear what they want, however complaints and rule changes should all be done before the night of. Showing up in a tux when the rules very specifically says dress gives you no wiggle room and forces them to send that person home.

Jumping through some hoops is much more likely to get someone what they want then showing up and stamping their feet because they said 'fuck you' to the rules and didn't say a word. If they don't budge on it, then you follow this woman's example and simply don't go.
 
Depends. You are absolutely right about that they should be able to wear what they want, however complaints and rule changes should all be done before the night of. Showing up in a tux when the rules very specifically says dress gives you no wiggle room and forces them to send that person home.

Jumping through some hoops is much more likely to get someone what they want then showing up and stamping their feet because they said 'fuck you' to the rules and didn't say a word. If they don't budge on it, then you follow this woman's example and simply don't go.

I wonder how many posts in this thread have already pointed out that the rules didn't specify a gendered dress code.
 

poppabk

Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
Yeah the rules are arbitrary, but at this point I'd say it's widely considered that tuxedos are formal wear for women too. It's not a crazy new thing at all. I'd say the tradition that women have to wear dresses has largely died off.

Marlene Dietrich
cmNTVsr.jpg


Katharine Hepburn
xGtspfG.png


Princess Diana
Q3Vm25G.jpg


Anne Hathaway
EsFIEiP.jpg


This thread is so weird because I can't imagine anyone in real life gasping at the idea of a woman wearing a tuxedo. I can't imagine anyone looking at the above photos and thinking those women aren't being classy and formal.

During the 2011 Oscars, when Anne Hathaway came out in a tuxedo and James Franco in a dress, the joke was all on Franco. I don't think Hathaway in a tuxedo fazed anyone. Sadly while it's acceptable for women to wear tuxes, it's not acceptable yet for men to wear dresses.
I think that my issue is that we are taking these completely arbitrary rules and then subjecting them to non-arbitrary rules. I understand doing so when those arbitrary rules are specifically designed to exclude someone, but in this case she is still able to participate of she wishes. I don't even agree with the arbitrary rule, she should be able to wear a tux if she wants, but I would also be quite happy for them to do away with the 'formal' dress rule completely.
I just feel like it is up to the people responsible for organizing it to be able to make decisions based on what they want for their event. If they want to ban bright orange Tuxedos but allow bright orange dresses then that is their choice. If they want girls to wear dresses and boys to wear tux's so be it. This isn't a mandatory event as far as I understand how proms work, and no-one is being excluded in an egregious manner as far as I can tell.
 

Kinsei

Banned
Because I'm going to read over 300 posts to see if someone happened to respond? Nope.

It's been mentioned quite a lot (in fact I believe it's even on the first page). If you're not willing to read that far and then get defensive when someone calls you out on it why bother posting at all?
 
Because I'm going to read over 300 posts to see if someone happened to respond? Nope.

Because you'd prefer to represent yourself through ignorance, I suppose? "Very specifically states" is very specific language indicating a very specific thing--and not only are you lacking receipts for your claim, but it's been debunked over and over again in this thread.
 

spekkeh

Banned
It's been mentioned quite a lot (in fact I believe it's even on the first page). If you're not willing to read that far and then get defensive when someone calls you out on it why bother posting at all?
I've asked already a number of times what the invitation was and which dress code was specified but so far no answer.
 

spekkeh

Banned
Because they've not only handled cases like this in the past, but actually have a help page dedicated to the issue?

https://www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights_hiv-aids/prom-resources-lgbt-students


There is already precedence set in cases like these and the principal is going against its grain, without support from his superiors. If the girl bothers to pursue it, he's apt to find himself in hot water.
Interesting, did not know that. I find it a bit weird that this can go to court, but seems like the school has no ground for rejection then. Good, she can go to the prom anyway (though I think the principal stepping in kind of already made that possible).
 

spekkeh

Banned
honestly though it's a webforum about videogames, is anyone really surprised that some people are struggling with the difference??
Nah, I was just surprised that so many people are adamant there is no gender prescriptions in dress codes when they don't seem to know the first thing about them, not even bother to go to Wikipedia.
 

JustenP88

I earned 100 Gamerscore™ for collecting 300 widgets and thereby created Trump's America
The only reason, that I can see, to hold up this "tradition" is because seeing a gay person being gay would upset some people.

She's willing to dress formally. It's not like she's asking to wear fucking pajamas or something.
 
I've asked already a number of times what the invitation was and which dress code was specified but so far no answer.

Interesting, did not know that. I find it a bit weird that this can go to court, but seems like the school has no ground for rejection then. Good, she can go to the prom anyway (though I think the principal stepping in kind of already made that possible).

Nah, I was just surprised that so many people are adamant there is no gender prescriptions in dress codes when they don't seem to know the first thing about them, not even bother to go to Wikipedia.

Protip: You can edit your last post to fit more replies in, to avoid double- or triple-posting.

The article in the OP clearly indicates that a gendered dress code is not within the school district's policy, and it's been made known that to enforce a gendered dress code is actually sex discrimination and illegal. Who should be respectful of "the rules", the marginalized queer student, or the bigoted principal? SMH at the posters who side with ignorance.
 

spekkeh

Banned
Protip: You can edit your last post to fit more replies in, to avoid double- or triple-posting.
I know, but I find reacting to different people on different subjects to sometimes be more messy in a single post than in multiples.
The article in the OP clearly indicates that a gendered dress code is not within the school district's policy, and it's been made known that to enforce a gendered dress code is actually sex discrimination and illegal. Who should be respectful of "the rules", the marginalized queer student, or the bigoted principal? SMH at the posters who side with ignorance.
Of course a prom dress code is not in the official school rules, which is what the principal said. That would be really weird. Dress codes are often thought up on the spot when a dance is being organized. This is the first time I'm seeing that rejecting people based on dress code is actually illegal, that does make the discussion pretty redundant. FWIW I don't see it as marginalizing anyone really (except for maybe some transgenders, though not more than any other gender distinction), though at the same time I made it clear that I think a high school prom shouldn't enforce strict dress codes. The point still stands though that noone seems to know what the exact dress code was in the first place. So it really has not been debunked in any way shape or form.
 
Of course a prom dress code is not in the official school rules, which is what the principal said. That would be really weird. Dress codes are often thought up on the spot when a dance is being organized. This is the first time I'm seeing that rejecting people based on dress code is actually illegal, that does make the discussion pretty redundant. FWIW I don't see it as marginalizing anyone really (except for maybe some transgenders, though not more than any other gender distinction), though at the same time I made it clear that I think a high school prom shouldn't enforce strict dress codes. The point still stands though that noone seems to know what the exact dress code was in the first place. So it really has not been debunked in any way shape or form.

To be clear, it's enforcing a gendered dress code that's illegal. There's actually precedent on this girl-in-a-prom-tux scenario:

- I’m a girl who wants to wear a tuxedo to the school prom.

In 2010, Constance McMillen wanted to wear a tuxedo to her senior prom, but school officials told her that only boys could wear tuxedos. Constance filed a federal lawsuit against the school and won. A federal court found that Constance’s desire to wear a tuxedo was protected speech. When the school denied Constance’s request to wear a tuxedo to her prom, the school violated her First Amendment rights. McMillen v. Itawamba County School District, 702 F. Supp. 2d 699 (N.D. Miss. 2010),

If your school is trying to keep you from wearing a tuxedo or other gender non-conforming clothes to the prom or other school event, please contact the Southern Poverty Law Center.
 
Update: DOJ Steps In After Louisiana High School Bans Lesbian From Wearing Tuxedo To Prom

“Girls wear dresses and boys wear tuxes, and that's the way it is,” Love’s mother, Geraldine Jackson, says Principal Patrick Taylor told her. He also reportedly created a prom dress code after learning Love would be wearing a tux.
(emphasis mine)

KNOE notes McFarland "reports the Department of Justice has contacted the school board's attorney. The department has let them know it is illegal to prohibit a girl from wearing a tuxedo to prom."

And the ACLU has weighed in as well.

"Schools can have a dress code and they can have a formal attire for a prom," ACLU Director Marjorie Esman says. "They can say that. But formal attire means a girl can wear a tux that a boy might wear and it also means that a boy can wear a formal gown if he wants to."

And the school cannot ban students from taking a member of the same-sex to the prom, either.
 

Suikoguy

I whinny my fervor lowly, for his length is not as great as those of the Hylian war stallions
It's sad the DOJ had to even get involved.

Thanks for the update Erin.
 
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