Pretty bad.
The indian girl whom I was madly in love with, whom I was with for years caved to her parents demands and left me. It destroyed every part of me. I thought killing myself for a while, but instead, before I could fall to that mental pressure, I committed career-suicide instead. I quit my job and drove across the country to Colorado to stay with a friend out here.
The thing is, I haven't gotten better. I still think of her plenty. And what's more is I'm still unemployed, I won't be able to make my bills this month, and the job I thought I had locked in just called me to tell me they chose a different candidate. So at this point I'm trying to sell shit- my Switch for starters, just to stay above.
Then, a few days back, I accidentally ran my head into the fridge door. I thought nothing of it and drank heavily the following evening. Then that morning, I felt absolutely terrible, like I'm in a deep fog that I can't get out of. At first I thought it was just a hangover, but it's lasted for several days now. It's like my mind is disconnected from all else. I'm thinking it's a concussion at this point, but I don't have medical insurance to get it checked on.
So here I sit still dazed hoping that I'm not having any internal bleeding, wondering when everything went to hell. I really don't want to be alive any longer.