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[KtSlime]

Of course Japan is not against making black characters, it is just very difficult for them to make black characters (as in characters which have a certain cultural background) beyond different skin-tone avatars. A bunch of Japanese people in Kyoto do not have the cultural understanding to do what is being asked of in this thread. In Japan the trend in character design, Nintendo included, is to make "mukokuseki" characters, nationless characters and characters in fictitious nations.

Unless you like a bunch of stereotypes (not out of malice) we should probably just accept that this may be all we can get.

 

[Kyzon]

I don't like the idea of changing an established character's race or sex for the sake of diversity. Increased diversity should take the form of good new characters.

It happens sometimes in TV and movies (reboots or adaptations), but that's more a case of the right actor happening to be of a different ethnicity or sex.

This pretty much. I do contradict myself a bit though. I love the black Nick Fury moreso than the classic one for instance.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

Of course Japan is not against making black characters, it is just very difficult for them to make black characters (as in characters which have a certain cultural background) beyond different skin-tone avatars. A bunch of Japanese people in Kyoto do not have the cultural understanding to do what is being asked of in this thread. In Japan the trend in character design, Nintendo included, is to make "mukokuseki" characters, nationless characters and characters in fictitious nations.

Unless you like a bunch of stereotypes (not out of malice) we should probably just accept that this may be all we can get.

What nationality would this theoretical character need to have? Isn't she from some space colony?

Hence, the thread and others like it. They're designed to create pressure to force on Nintendo what does not come naturally to them.

Am i really off base on that?

Absolutely. How is this creating pressure to force Nintendo to do anything? It's not even framed in a "Nintendo should do ____" way. It's asking people how they'd react to this scenario.

 

[FusedAtoms]

Tbh I'd rather just have a new black main character and just leave Samus the way she is.

 

[Madame M]

Tbh I'd rather just have a new black main character and just leave Sammus the way she is.

You might want to start by keeping her name the same.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

Tbh I'd rather just have a new black main character and just leave Sammus the way she is.

Two black leads would be dope.

 

[Messofanego]

This pretty much. I do contradict myself a bit though. I love the black Nick Fury moreso than the classic one for instance.

Didn't hurt being designed off Samuel Jackson and then him playing the character on screen, thanks to Mark Millar People lost their shit when he made Nick Fury black, and even after the movie announced he'd be playing the character with groups called "Nick Fury is white not black"!

 

[KtSlime]

What nationality would this theoretical character need to have? Isn't she from some space colony?

Mukokuseki but with a darker color skin tone.

 

[Ashler]

Who cares? just make a great metroid game and I'm in.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

Mukokuseki but with a darker color skin tone.

What if she just looked like a black person and not like an anime character? like how humans look in the Prime Series and Other M

Do you consider "black" to be a specific ethnicity?

 

[KtSlime]

What if she just looked like a black person and not like an anime character? like how humans look in the Prime Series and Other M

Do you consider "black" to be a specific ethnicity?

I can use the word both ways, but my post was made on my understanding of your OP, where you make a couple of crude puns.

As to how the character could look, that completely depends on if it is developed internally or not. If retro does it it could be gracefully done.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

I can use the word both ways, but my post was made on my understanding of your OP, where you make a couple of crude puns.

As to how the character could look, that completely depends on if it is developed internally or not. If retro does it it could be gracefully done.

Puns?

This seems to greatly underestimate the capability of japanese developers/artists. Japanese games have been made for global audiences for decades—plenty have picked up on stuff over that time.

EDIT: If you're talking about "Seamus" and "Chico," those were auto correct suggestions as it was typed on my phone. I left the mistakes there along with the corrections so people wouldn't be confused by the posts that reference them.

 

[badcrumble]

I wouldn't be mad about it but outside of the basic fact of a black female action hero being a cool and good thing in general, I can't see Metroid's fiction gaining a whole lot from exploring or talking about blackness the way that some things would (e.g. a whitewashed Akira remake would be dull and elide a lot of the interesting subtext about nuclear trauma but a black-centered Akira remake would replace it with all kinds of interesting stuff like the Tuskegee experiments). I'd rather see a black female protagonist inserted into something like Dead Space or Deus Ex (fuck, it would fucking RULE in Deus Ex, should the franchise ever return).

That said, an AAA game with a non-camped-up afrofuturist aesthetic would fuckin' rock.

edit: this feels like more of a thought exercise than anything else - Metroid's a franchise where the main character is iconic but changing her race would impact the franchise basically as little as possible. I'd want *more* impact, I guess, than Metroid could supply

 

[KtSlime]

Puns?

This seems to greatly underestimate the capability of japanese developers/artists. Japanese games have been made for global audiences for decades—plenty have picked up on stuff over that time.

Sorry, forgive me, I guess I misunderstood the meaning behind crossing out the words Seamus and Chico.

To my understanding EPD does not do lifelike models, can't think of a single game where they have.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

Sorry, forgive me, I guess I misunderstood the meaning behind crossing out the words Seamus and Chico.

To my understanding EPD does not do lifelike models, can't think of a single game where they have.

There are some degrees of realism when it comes to character design, and the human ones in past 3D Metroid games are reasonably non-anime-like. Have you seen the ones in Other M? Or samus at the end of Metroid Prime?

 

[KtSlime]

There are some degrees of realism when it comes to character design, and the human ones in past 3D Metroid games are reasonably non-anime-like. Have you seen the ones in Other M? Or samus at the end of Metroid Prime?

Prime was made by Retro, and Other M was Team Ninja, neither were developed internally.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

Prime was made by Retro, and Other M was Team Ninja, neither were developed internally.

So no 3D Metroid games were developed internally—the last Metroid made internally was Zero Mission, ~15 years ago.

Why focus on EPD in this instance when they haven't done the art for a recent Metroid game?

 

[KtSlime]

So no 3D Metroid games were developed internally—the last Metroid made internally was Zero Mission, ~15 years ago.

Why focus on EPD in this instance when they haven't done the art for a recent Metroid game?

It was just hypothetical, I think IF Nintendo were to do another Metroid game, they would want to bring it back in-house to try and salvage it, possibly going back to the original format, as it has seen declining sales. If it is made in-house I doubt they will go for life-like models, and the style will look more mukokuseki, like Zero. My point is if you are talking just skin color, sure Nintendo can do that, if you are talking skin color and some other features or something tied to black culture, if they have a 2nd or 3rd party they can do it.

Anyway, I'm in favor of them replacing Samus with another character if that will bring back the series (But not in favor of a reboot, as I have yet to like any reboot of a movie I have ever seen).

 

[wildfire]

It's almost as if some of those games had different art styles...oh wait that's exactly the case.


I mean hell look at that a whole different part in the direction of the hair, Nintendo better get started on that Black Samus!

So then you shouldn't be objecting over Samus being given a different skin tone. It's just the artists way of depicting the character.


Anyway by focusing on the part you wanted to highlight you have a problem understanding my entire post. You need to reflect on what being white and black needs to be so important to you.

 

[nkarafo]

I do like the double standards though.

Most people were upset with the character in Ghost in the Shell movie being whitewashed... In the "movie bombed" thread everyone were posting "good" and "deserved" etc... And that wasn't even a clear case of whitewashing either since the original character was a cyborg with pale skin and you couldn't really tell her race or ethnicity, if she even had one.

But turning a white character to any other race? Well, that's welcomed and "i don't mind".

Generally, i don't think it's a change that makes any sense. It's an established character. If they want to have a black protagonist in a Metroid game they can do so... by making a new character and using that one instead.

Changing the character this way isn't a simple art direction change like the realistic/cartoon Link example. It's a change that contradicts with the already established lore. Heck, OtherM contradicted with how Samus behaves as a person and that alienated most people who were into the series. So in the end we learn that a change isn't good when it happens only for the sake of change. It has to make some sense. Am i going to riot over it? No, that's not what i'm saying. But it is a non nonsensical idea that won't add anything to the character at all and will alienate those who expect some consistency from the world of fictional characters and universes.

So yeah, i think consistency is the key word. Creating an established franchise means you created a universe. It means there is a bonding and familiarity growing between the characters in that universe and the fans. By changing a character so drastically without any good reason at least, you just break this familiarity. If you don't care about non-nonsensical changes that means you didn't care for the franchise that much either. Which is fine, you don't have to, but at least you have to know where people who would be upset come from and that there is no racism involved like some posters imply. Because changing established black characters to white ones for no reason is just as problematic.

Just make new characters people and leave the ones that already exist as is.

 

[Amir0x]

Are you really going to attempt to browbeat a company into going against what comes to naturally to them, while simultaneously pretending to be concerned about what's okay with them?

No where in the OP is even in the barest sliver of even the implication of this thread being about starting some sort of "movement" to get Nintendo to make Samus black. You have from thin air created an interpretation about the topic for which unless I missed his clarification somewhere in this thread there is simply no observational evidence to support.

This thread is a what-if thought experiment, nothing more, nothing less. And as an addition to this fact, none of my comments are meant to 'browbeat' Nintendo into doing this either. It is simply a discussion about how one would react in the event Nintendo did something like this to one of their beloved, iconic characters, and judging by the reactions it was not a conversation without merit. The reactions from some were eye-opening at best.

You are hoisting meaning onto the OP and this thread that simply does not exist as far as I can tell.

Who cares if the reasons are selfish?

Because in the event such a thing were to happen, it is simply more appropriate to prioritize those whose reasons aren't immature or selfish prattle. Common sense. If for one group a decision causes no substantive issue beyond mere preference, and another group such a change can be viewed as a piece of a very real and necessary diversification for a criminally underrepresented people who consistently exist within a society that creates ideals and standards that exclude them, then only one of these two issues actually matter.

I'm sorry but "I really like a videogame character" is not a great defense against such a change were it to hypothetically happen.

 

[Koobion]

It'd be interesting, but I can see the reasoning for hardcore fans being upset at the change.

 

[Number_6]

Honestly, I think it'd be a better idea to make a new character as a Samus successor. It can be revealed at the end that you weren't playing as Samus, but this new character. Maybe Samus shows up too, just so there's no confusion.

If it's a reboot instead of a sequel...then go for it. New continuity, new designs, no issues whatsoever.

I guess my only issue is if it's an established character being changed in the context of continuity. This isn't movies, they're consciously creating the entire look of the character, not casting actors. So reboot or new character please, so that it makes sense.

Either way, I'd play it (unless it's Another M).

 

[Mista Koo]

That would be stupid. It's not like Samus matters or is unique in any way shape or form.

I did think of a Metroid game starring a black female bounty hunter tasked to hunt Samus. You get to track Samus and battle her a couple of times. Once you beat the game you can play it through Samus's perspective, with all her tools available from the start. This allows for all new tools and weapons for the new character.

 

[InterMusketeer]

I just don't think the conclusion follows from the reasoning because it at the same time accepts that Samus skin color is not important but yet If the developers were to change it that is somehow unacceptable.... makes no sense

It makes about as much sense as changing the skin tone of a character which does not benefit the story or the character in any way, shape or form. It's just a preference at that point. And a preference is not a reason to keep or change anything. If that's so, why not just keep it the way it has always been?

No-one in this thread has given any good reason why the change would be good. Apart from it being important representation for black people, which like I said is not a very good reason in my opinion. We'd have to change all characters in existence to black, Asian, Native American etc. simultaneously. If we agree race is so important that it needs to be represented in games and other media, then the white race is just as important to represent and as such characters shouldn't be changed from black to white, or vice versa. It's not a one-way street. Even if black people are currently underrepresented.

I've also seen the argument that goes a bit like "Well in this hypothetical situation the devs actually decided on a black character and they have plans for it." Err yeah, so? Just like how a game with Mario vs Rabbids sounds stupid to me, so does changing a character's skin tone like that. I don't care if Nintendo thinks it's a good idea, 'cause I sure don't. You could push any ridiculous idea like that: "Nintendo removed all the female Inklings from Splatoon 3 because of reasons" no, stop, that sounds terrible.

 

[Kebiinu]

Lmao @ all the underlying "white genocide" responses, sprinkled within a LOT of these "concerned" posts. I personally would rather they create a new protagonist, that way they could flesh her out more as her own individual; rather than her lore dissolving into black vs white in every future thread. But if they just reboot the franchise and make her black, I'd still be here for it. The franchise desperately needs a reboot, anyway.

 

[FrozenCell]

not 2017 enough

 

[staticneuron]

I do like the double standards though.

Most people were upset with the character in Ghost in the Shell movie being whitewashed... In the "movie bombed" thread everyone were posting "good" and "deserved" etc... And that wasn't even a clear case of whitewashing either since the original character was a cyborg with pale skin and you couldn't really tell her race or ethnicity, if she even had one.

But turning a white character to any other race? Well, that's welcomed and "i don't mind".

Generally, i don't think it's a change that makes any sense. It's an established character. If they want to have a black protagonist in a Metroid game they can do so... by making a new character and using that one instead.

Changing the character this way isn't a simple art direction change like the realistic/cartoon Link example. It's a change that contradicts with the already established lore. Heck, OtherM contradicted with how Samus behaves as a person and that alienated most people who were into the series. So in the end we learn that a change isn't good when it happens only for the sake of change. It has to make some sense. Am i going to riot over it? No, that's not what i'm saying. But it is a non nonsensical idea that won't add anything to the character at all and will alienate those who expect some consistency from the world of fictional characters and universes.

So yeah, i think consistency is the key word. Creating an established franchise means you created a universe. It means there is a bonding and familiarity growing between the characters in that universe and the fans. By changing a character so drastically without any good reason at least, you just break this familiarity. If you don't care about non-nonsensical changes that means you didn't care for the franchise that much either. Which is fine, you don't have to, but at least you have to know where people who would be upset come from and that there is no racism involved like some posters imply. Because changing established black characters to white ones for no reason is just as problematic.

Just make new characters people and leave the ones that already exist as is.

What the hell are you talking about? If you are going to make a comparison, why start with Major Motoko Kusanagi who resides in the fictional New Port City in Japan. That is the worst example ever given her Japanese name and the fact the film takes place in Japan.

 

[Tovarisch]

What the hell are you talking about? If you are going to make a comparison, why start with Major Motoko Kusanagi who resides in the fictional New Port City in Japan. That is the worst example ever given her Japanese name and the fact the film takes place in Japan.

"Motoko is a full-body cyborg. She can wear whatever she wants." © Soraya Saga

 

[SilverArrow20XX]

What the hell are you talking about? If you are going to make a comparison, why start with Major Motoko Kusanagi who resides in the fictional New Port City in Japan. That is the worst example ever given her Japanese name and the fact the film takes place in Japan.

Motoko wears a mass production model full prosthetic. The prosthetic's race is never confirmed.

 

[A Link to the Past]

I do like the double standards though.

Most people were upset with the character in Ghost in the Shell movie being whitewashed... In the "movie bombed" thread everyone were posting "good" and "deserved" etc... And that wasn't even a clear case of whitewashing either since the original character was a cyborg with pale skin and you couldn't really tell her race or ethnicity, if she even had one.

But turning a white character to any other race? Well, that's welcomed and "i don't mind".

Generally, i don't think it's a change that makes any sense. It's an established character. If they want to have a black protagonist in a Metroid game they can do so... by making a new character and using that one instead.

Changing the character this way isn't a simple art direction change like the realistic/cartoon Link example. It's a change that contradicts with the already established lore. Heck, OtherM contradicted with how Samus behaves as a person and that alienated most people who were into the series. So in the end we learn that a change isn't good when it happens only for the sake of change. It has to make some sense. Am i going to riot over it? No, that's not what i'm saying. But it is a non nonsensical idea that won't add anything to the character at all and will alienate those who expect some consistency from the world of fictional characters and universes.

So yeah, i think consistency is the key word. Creating an established franchise means you created a universe. It means there is a bonding and familiarity growing between the characters in that universe and the fans. By changing a character so drastically without any good reason at least, you just break this familiarity. If you don't care about non-nonsensical changes that means you didn't care for the franchise that much either. Which is fine, you don't have to, but at least you have to know where people who would be upset come from and that there is no racism involved like some posters imply. Because changing established black characters to white ones for no reason is just as problematic.

Just make new characters people and leave the ones that already exist as is.

Yes or no: is the changing of white characters to non-white characters anywhere near as common as the reverse?

(protip: if your answer is no, then it's objectively not a double standard, because the problem isn't that the character's race changes, it's that it happens so often to one group more than the other)

 

[LinkAndEpona]

tl;dr colored people need a reason to exist, white people don't

There is truth to this.

Often if POC and female characters aren't represented in certain ways you get bad feedback from their respective communities.

 

[staticneuron]

"Motoko is a full-body cyborg. She can wear whatever she wants." © Soraya Saga

Motoko wears a mass production model full prosthetic. The prosthetic's race is never confirmed.

The cyborg body does not have a race technically and she gains the ability to use other bodies after the encounter with puppet master but it is a stretch to think that the bodies they created for use, were created to stand out in public.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motoko_Kusanagi

Motoko Kusanagi's body was designed by Masamune Shirow to be a mass production model so she would not be conspicuous. Her electrical and mechanical system within is special and features parts unavailable on the civilian market. Shirow intentionally chose this appearance so Motoko would not be harvested for those parts

In the series and in publication she was not designed as a character that would stand out. In a homogenous society that normally would mean not creating bodies that look like they are from another country.

I digress, but like I said before she is bad example for people to hang their hat on.

 

[SilverArrow20XX]

The cyborg body does not have a race technically and she gains the ability to use other bodies after the encounter with puppet master but it is a stretch to think that the bodies they created for use, were created to stand out in public.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motoko_Kusanagi



In the series and in publication she was not designed as a character that would stand out. In a homogenous society that normally would mean not creating bodies that look like they are from another country.

I digress, but like I said before she is bad example for people to hang their hat on.

Is it a racially homogenous society if the GitS future? I was never under the impression that it was. I would think the most popular models worldwide would be those that look similar to Hollywood actors or other celebrities if real life is anything to go by.

 

[staticneuron]

Is it a racially homogenous society if the GitS future? I was never under the impression that it was. I would think the most popular models worldwide would be those that look similar to Hollywood actors or other celebrities if real life is anything to go by.

You know, one would think that wasn't the case, but Japan isn't a melting pot like other western countries so in many of the animes depicting the future in Japan, the society is still homogeneous. Aside from the alien invasion ones that is.

 

[Wild Card]

You know, one would think that wasn't the case, but Japan isn't a melting pot like other western countries so in many of the animes depicting the future in Japan, the society is still homogeneous. Aside from the alien invasion ones that is.

It's been a while since I've seen the Original GITS, but doesn't a lot of the story have to do with problems specific to the Japanese government?

Anime characters are not specifically designed to appear white, that is only an outsider's white, or western perspective. If an anime character is supposed to represent someone white, or American, you will know, they usually have huge cleft chins.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Changing Samus's race to Black seems to be the worst approach if ones goal is to add diversity to the franchise, or maybe as someone else suggested explain away the new skin tone with some DNA-merging, which sounds totally contrived and real, real, stupid.

Samus is not a comic book character who fufills the role of "the Samus". Samus Aran is an individuals name. Spider-Man is both Peter Parker, and in another universe Miles Morales. You could totally make a new Metroid game with a new Black character with their own name and identity. That is an approach for this thought experiment that I see as in every way superior to just make Samus black.

If you wouldn't take the approach of just make Nathan Drake black, why would you with Samus?

 

[Madame M]

It's been a while since I've seen the Original GITS, but doesn't a lot of the story have to do with problems specific to the Japanese government?

Anime characters are not specifically designed to appear white, that is only an outsider's white, or western perspective. If an anime character is supposed to represent someone white, or American, you will know, they usually have huge cleft chins.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Changing Samus's race to Black seems to be the worst approach if ones goal is to add diversity to the franchise, or maybe as someone else suggested explain away the new skin tone with some DNA-merging, which sounds totally contrived and real, real, stupid.

Samus is not a comic book character who fufills the role of "the Samus". Samus Aran is an individuals name. Spider-Man is both Peter Parker, and in another universe Miles Morales. You could totally make a new Metroid game with a new Black character with their own name and identity. That is an approach for this thought experiment that I see as in every way superior to just make Samus black.

If you wouldn't take the approach of just make Nathan Drake black, why would you with Samus?

There's no reason it couldn't be a new character named Samus Aran, two different people can have the same name.

 

[-Horizon-]

If it's a straight up reboot, I don't think there is any reason that this can't happen.

 

[Wild Card]

There's no reason it couldn't be a new character named Samus Aran, two different people can have the same name.

Why on Earth would Nintendo bring back a new main character whose race was changed but deign to give them the same name? Just to confuse people?

Also of course people can have the same names, it just so happens that media tends to avoid this to separate and give their characters their own identity's. I can't even think of any fiction I know where multiple characters have the exact same name, unless it was explicitly tied to the plot.

 

[MYeager]

I wouldn't give a crap. I mean she's fully armored and also who cares.

 

[Lindsay]

Whys it always gotta be a "reboot"? Why not a parallel universe Samus? Sonics alt-universe counterpart is a female cat ya know. An Metroid being a space sci-fi series would likely latch onto the other universe trope at some point if it hasn't already.

 

[Madame M]

Why on Earth would Nintendo bring back a new main character whose race was changed but deign to give them the same name? Just to confuse people?

Also of course people can have the same names, it just so happens that media tends to avoid this to separate and give their characters their own identity's. I can't even think of any fiction I know where multiple characters have the exact same name, unless it was explicitly tied to the plot.

Link in the Zelda series

 

[Mango The Magician]

Whys it always gotta be a "reboot"? Why not a parallel universe Samus? Sonics alt-universe counterpart is a female cat ya know. An Metroid being a space sci-fi series would likely latch onto the other universe trope at some point if it hasn't already.

While I definitely agree that a parallel universe would be more favorable, I feel like Blaze, while actually being a alternate universe parallel of Sonic, stands on her own as her own character, so if they were to do something similarly, I don't see why it'd have to be a alternate universe counterpart to Samus, and not just a new character.

 

[Nepenthe]

I do like the double standards though.

Most people were upset with the character in Ghost in the Shell movie being whitewashed... In the "movie bombed" thread everyone were posting "good" and "deserved" etc... And that wasn't even a clear case of whitewashing either since the original character was a cyborg with pale skin and you couldn't really tell her race or ethnicity, if she even had one.

But turning a white character to any other race? Well, that's welcomed and "i don't mind"

Because we already live in a world where another, even larger double-standard exists which most people seem fine with- that being the normalization of whiteness at the expense of positive representation of other minority groups within media, all in turn stemming from a long and torturous history of brutal colonization and historical revisionism.

 

[NewGame]

I did some re-racialized version of Samus that would be suitable for the in game design.

Here's black Samus, not American but more of a South African vibe to it.

Here's an Asian style Samus, Tibetian to be precise.

This is a Tonganese style rendition, note the subtle facial features

This is a mixed race, it's Indonesian mixed with Papua Neuguinea. Some people would argue that those races are actually the same but sidewayslookofdisapproval.gif

Of course, there's also various sliders available before you start playing.

Gender
<------O------>

Sexual Orientation
<------O------>

Whiteness
<------O------>

Blackness (Note: As a Nintendo game this is Inkling blackness)
<------O------>

Political views
<------O------>

Religion
<------O------>

Hopefully, Metroid will finally do what Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and Nelson Mandela couldn't.

 

[Greedings]

Perfect.

 

[klier]

I did some re-racialized version of Samus that would be suitable for the in game design.

Here's black Samus, not American but more of a South African vibe to it.

Here's an Asian style Samus, Tibetian to be precise.

This is a Tonganese style rendition, note the subtle facial features

This is a mixed race, it's Indonesian mixed with Papua Neuguinea. Some people would argue that those races are actually the same but sidewayslookofdisapproval.gif

Of course, there's also various sliders available before you start playing.

Gender
<------O------>

Sexual Orientation
<------O------>

Whiteness
<------O------>

Blackness (Note: As a Nintendo game this is Inkling blackness)
<------O------>

Political views
<------O------>

Religion
<------O------>

Hopefully, Metroid will finally do what Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and Nelson Mandela couldn't.

/thread

 

[Wild Card]

Link in the Zelda series

So Link is the next Samus then? Is that were this is going?

I did some re-racialized version of Samus that would be suitable for the in game design.

Hopefully, Metroid will finally do what Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and Nelson Mandela couldn't.

Then who, pray tell, is this?

 

[Madame M]

So Link is the next Samus then? Is that were this is going?

No, that would make Samus the next Link, pay attention.

 

[NewGame]

Then who, pray tell, is this?

Some cracker.