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I came blood.

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G

Gaborn

Member
JSnake said:
I let the folks know I pissed blood. Can't tell 'em I jacked. They're both conservative christians. Set up an appointment with the doctor.
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Even conservative christians pet the snake.
 
X

Xater

Member
Kandrick said:
Tell the truth, i mean, could be different problems. Whats better ? tell someone something that they already know, or die ?
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As long as he tells the doctor the truth he should be fine.
 
R

Ravidrath

Member
Xater said:
As long as he tells the doctor the truth he should be fine.
Click to expand...

Yeah, be sure to tell the doctor the truth. Doctor-patient confidentiality means you can and not worry about your parents finding out.
 
G

Gaborn

Member
JSnake said:
Problem is, my parents do go inside the doctor's office with me.
Click to expand...

Ask them to wait outside, tell them it's embarassing and you want to talk to the doc alone. Most parents do understand.
 
M

mosaic

go eat paint
JSnake said:
I let the folks know I pissed blood. Can't tell 'em I jacked. They're both conservative christians. Set up an appointment with the doctor.
Click to expand...
Hope you plan to tell the doc the truth. Yeah, you may want to make sure your parents aren't in the room. Because if you tell him you pissed blood, he's gonna focus on your kidneys and whatnot, and then you later find you have testicular cancer -- but it's too late by then -- and end up with no balls.

Then you have to take pills so you can get hard and don't develop Robert Paulson boobs.
 
J

Jim

Member
JSnake said:
Problem is, my parents do go inside the doctor's office with me.
Click to expand...

Tell them you felt a lump in your sack... I certainly hope they don't want to be present for that exam. And then tell the Dr the real reason.
 
J

JSnake

Member
fistfulofmetal said:
The world is just conspiring to out your sick, sick deed.
Click to expand...

I don't care about that, I just don't want my computer taken away. :(

Anyway, when I go to the doc's, my parents will leave for the wang exam as they usually do. Then I'll tell the doctor the truth.
 
A

Aladuf

Banned
JSnake said:
I don't care about that, I just don't want my computer taken away. :(

Anyway, when I go to the doc's, my parents will leave for the wang exam as they usually do. Then I'll the doctor the truth.
Click to expand...

haha, you can whack off with your imagination
 
G

Gaborn

Member
JSnake said:
Fifteen.
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Dude. Everyone masturbates. Everyone. Your dad did it, your mom did it. They still do it occasionally. You will masturbate until the day you die on and off, even if you're having regular sex, or if you were a complete virgin. Everyone. Masturbates. You're so hung up on what they'll think that you're willing to give the doc incomplete information because your parents might know that you're doing something perfectly natural?

Look, if it's really that awkward, take your dad aside, ask to talk to him privately, and tell HIM what you were doing. He does it too, and there's nothing to be ashamed of.
 
M

mCACGj

Member
Gaborn said:
Dude. Everyone masturbates. Everyone. Your dad did it, your mom did it. They still do it occasionally. You will masturbate until the day you die on and off, even if you're having regular sex, or if you were a complete virgin. Everyone. Masturbates. You're so hung up on what they'll think that you're willing to give the doc incomplete information because your parents might know that you're doing something perfectly natural?

Look, if it's really that awkward, take your dad aside, ask to talk to him privately, and tell HIM what you were doing. He does it too, and there's nothing to be ashamed of.
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And even if there is something to be ashamed of, YOUR DICK JUST FUCKING SHOT OUT BLOOD!
 
E

Edag Plata

Banned
"Uh, yeah, Doc, I was sitting around by myself on a weekday afternoon jacking it and blood came out. I went to the Gaming Age Forums and asked them why this was happening and they told me to come to you."

:D
 
G

Gaborn

Member
JSnake said:
It's not because it's awkward. It's because I'll get in trouble for it. A lot of trouble.
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For masturbating? Look, if you're worried about the damn computer tell him you were on your bed thinking about some hot girl or something.
 
B

Branduil

Member
Researching on the internet, I didn't solve your problem, OP, but it seems you are not alone:
14lhmqt.jpg

28ankg4.png

2nini1.png

2w7nva0.png

6h1748.png

v4bggy.png

jq0yvs.png

Have you been watching too much anime?
 
K

Kandrick

GAF's Ed McMahon
Edag Plata said:
"Uh, yeah, Doc, I was sitting around by myself on a weekday afternoon jacking it and blood came out. I went to the Gaming Age Forums and asked them why this was happening and they told me to come to you."

:D
Click to expand...

Doctor tells you: "oh you mean neogaf ?"

you: "oh shit"
 
L

Livin_Lovin

Member
JSnake said:
It's not because it's awkward. It's because I'll get in trouble for it. A lot of trouble.
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So...

Being grounded > A festering disease.

At least, in your eyes. That gives me some perspective as to why this thread has gone as it has.
 
A

AltogetherAndrews

Member
From the way you describe the homelife, I'm surprised you're even allowed to post on GAF. Are you sure they are not monitoring your conversations online?
 
Dai Kaiju

Dai Kaiju

Member
Tell your parents this is a personal thing and you REALLY wouldn't feel comfortable with them in the office and ask them to stay in the waiting room. Afterall, the doc's gonna have to touch your dong. BE HONEST WITH YOUR DOCTOR. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that pissing and cumming are two very different bodily functions that involve two very different organs (testicles and kidneys if you're retarded). If you lie to him because you're embarassed, the problem will go untreated.
 
J

JSnake

Member
AltogetherAndrews said:
From the way you describe the homelife, I'm surprised you're even allowed to post on GAF. Are you sure they are not monitoring your conversations online?
Click to expand...

Yes. It's my computer. I'd know if parental crap was installed on it.

ANYWAY OKAY I WILL TELL THE DOCTOR. Jesus. I just hope I get a male. :(
 
F

Feral Youth

Banned
JSnake said:
It's not because it's awkward. It's because I'll get in trouble for it. A lot of trouble.
Click to expand...


Just visit the doctors by yourself.


Either that or do nothing, but worry. If it does turn out to be cancer you'll be dead soon enough anyway.

No problem.
 
H

HotByCold

Banned
Wait, have had sex recently?
Because if you had and contradicted something nasty then you should tell your sexual contacts about it.
 
G

Gaborn

Member
JSnake said:
Yes. It's my computer. I'd know if parental crap was installed on it.

ANYWAY OKAY I WILL TELL THE DOCTOR. Jesus. I just hope I get a male. :(
Click to expand...

Again, I'm not sure why you'd be afraid of them taking away your computer. If you were jacking off on your bed (so you'd say) why would they take the computer away? I'm pretty sure your dad didn't jack off in front of a computer at your age, though I have no doubt he did indeed masturbate.

Especially if you can pull off the whole "blood in pee" thing. I mean, if there was a large pool of blood under your computer it's one thing... but otherwise no evidence, how would they disagree?
 
J

JSnake

Member
Feral Youth said:
Just visit the doctors by yourself.


Either that or do nothing, but worry. If it does turn out to be cancer you'll be dead soon enough anyway.

No problem.
Click to expand...

I can't drive.

hotbycold: Never had sex.

Because taking the computer would teach me the consequences, I suppose. That's their punishment for everything I do wrong.
 
F

fistfulofmetal

Banned
JSnake said:
I just hope I get a male. :(
Click to expand...


o_O

You'd rather a male doctor examining your junk? Is that why you're worried about your conservative Christian parents will find out? Watching the other team play ball are we?
 
J

JSnake

Member
fistfulofmetal said:
o_O

You'd rather a male doctor examining your junk? Is that why you're worried about your conservative Christian parents will find out? Watching the other team play ball are we?
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No, because it'd be awkward for a female to do it. Duh.
 
F

ferricide

Member
why can't you just tell your parents that you're getting a little old for them to come into the exam room with you? PS THIS IS TRUE EVEN WITHOUT PENILE BLOOD EXPLOSIONS

fistfulofmetal said:
o_O

You'd rather a male doctor examining your junk? Is that why you're worried about your conservative Christian parents will find out? Watching the other team play ball are we?
Click to expand...
i'm gay, and there's nothing erotic about having a male doctor touch your junk. promise.
 
G

Gaborn

Member
JSnake said:
Because taking the computer would teach me the consequences, I suppose. That's their punishment for everything I do wrong.
Click to expand...

There isn't blood in your semen because you masturbated, the blood was in the semen before you did it, so the masturbation was nothing. You're acting your age and not thinking logically. Masturbation isn't wrong, did they ever tell you not to do it?
 
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