Yeah, I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you are scared then you have no business being a cop. Period.
I try to explain this to as many people as possible. Even policemen. The vast majority agree, even the few good policemen I know.
You go into the job knowing that you are putting your life on the line for the citizens of your community. Make your peace with that and do your job bravely. If for whatever reason you become afraid down the line and can't handle it level headedly then get out. The vast majority of Police shootings of innocent civilians occur because either,
A, The cop is a corrupt racist sociopath.
B, The cop is afraid.
I think these two reasons feed on each other but I do think that the majority is that police officers are afraid. I also think a lot of it has to do with lack of self confidence and physical fitness. Too many people join in the beginning because of their ego and domineering attitudes only to find that they don't actually have the balls to stay calm and level headed during civilian encounters but it's fun to boss people around.
I have had many close encounters with scared policemen where I really think the outcome would have been different if I had not been white.
I was working one day tiling a Gas America and I traditionally carry this knife,
while I'm on the job both as a tool and for protection as I have suffered through way to many robberies and threats of harm to my person or others but I don't really feel like going through the trouble of carrying a gun. Now, this knife is the complete opposite of concealed lol as it looks huge in it's sheath on my hip, which is the point.
Anyhow, it was getting late so I went outside and called my wife to tell her goodnight while walking back and forth beside the gas station.
This officer pulled up whom later I found out was just there to get a drink and saw me in my wife beater and something strapped to my hip. I just kept talking to my wife like normal. He got out of the car and shone his light at my face and asked me what I was doing. I couldn't see a thing lol. I was like, "You talking to me? I'm just talking to my wife telling her goodnight before I go back inside and finish up the tile. My father and I are re tiling the gas station." He asks me to put the phone away and to walk towards him and because I know how he may react I freeze and make sure to make no sudden movements and tell him, "Sir I just want to let you know that I have a knife on my side that I use for work and protection in case you didn't see it." I had turned so that he could clearly see it with his flashlight and even pointed it out. lol. He reiterates what he said before and so I tell my wife what is happening really quick and not to freak out and that I would call her back. I hung up, kept the phone in my hands and my hands held out to my sides. I slowly walk towards him and as soon as I get maybe 7 feet from him he suddenly pulls his gun on me, points it at my face and starts shouting, "Don't come any closer! Raise your hands above your head!" a few times and then radios in for back up saying that I am armed with a "F'ing gigantic knife" in a panicked voice all while his flashlight and gun are still pointed at my friggin head. I immediately sigh, freeze and slowly raise my hands above my head assuming the position ahead of time. I know the role lol. Almost immediately the gas station was literally swarming with police cruisers... I counted at least 7... for me...
So the officers asked me my story, never asked me to give up my weapon or anything, and some other officers went inside and got my dad and he corroborated the whole thing.
The officer that first stopped me then came up to me and said you know having a knife that size on you is illegal right? I looked at him in the face, I was pretty miffed he drew his gun on me, and quoted the code that stated that it was perfectly legal. The senior officer on the scene was standing right next to him and just started laughing at the other officer. He said, "Welp, he got you there," and just walked away shaking his head.
Heck, they even asked the gas station manager if she wanted me to take the knife off when I was inside and she explicitly said that she wanted me to keep wearing it, that since I had been there "snatch and grabs" had been practically non existent and it made the workers feel better.
All that said. I really think that it is sad that if I had not been a white guy in the same situation things could have gone extremely differently. It breaks my heart that a man of different race would have to fear for his life more than others while trying to carry protection/a tool in the same manner I did, doing the same thing I was and exorcising the same "freedoms" I was. I mean it was almost lights out for me as it was being white for goodness sakes. SMH.