Support NeoGAF

[888]

Warning: This may be a poorly thought out rant thread. This is not an I hate my life thread but I suck in the way of processing and reliving my stress in a productive manner thread =)

Life keeps taking shots at me, I've always gotten back up and back at it with no issues. But as I get older that just seems harder and harder to do. There's plenty about my life that's great such as my Wife and Kids. I have a great older sister that was almost a mother to me, yet I have two other siblings that are useless and we don't really talk to them. I've never really thought about all the shots life was taking until yesterday. Either I was aloof before or I was just more spry and rebounded better. As I detailed in JareBear: Remastered thread I had a struggle with anxiety for a while. When I go back over some of the shit since I was 18 that I have dealt with its quite amazing how the human mind and body processes that. I personally think my Mind takes it out on my Body. So maybe I am just writing this as a way to vent and feel better. So low and behold, my list of shitty things I can remember.

* When I was 18 I was involved in a car accident. A Semi broadsided me at 50 mph in my driver door. I was cut out of my car and bay-flighted where I woke up days later. I had Brain Bleeding, Basiliar Skull Fracture (Bottom of my skull was torn off from the whipping motion), Ruptured Spleen, Loss of Hearing from broken bones in my ear (which came back), skull laceration, spinal fluid leakage from my eyes and nose, vomiting blood and spinal fluid, fractured ribs. Luckily I walked out of the hospital a week later without surgery, my doctor was amazed and said I am lucky to survive. Same day as my car accident on the same road, a young guy my age died in a fender bender. So that was another crazy twist.

* Got married at 19, which lead to a lot of stress during the first few years until my Wife got pregnant which somehow fixed all of our issues.

* Got laid off from a job

* Wrecked a car while laid off

* Got a new job that was going ok until the owner started letting success go to his own head.

* My cousin died right when I turned 30 which freaked me out and led me to have some serious issues that were detailed in another thread but basically I freaked out about my own health and developed weird phobias, which I no longer have thankfully.

* Had my second child right after my cousin died.

* Developed Afib from the stress, was put on beta blockers and 325mg asprin daily which led to the next line. Luckily I stopped those meds.

* Developed Ulcerative Colitis which luckily wasn't fully developed, spent 6 months trying to get a doctor to take me seriously on this.

* Quit that Job after asked to fire someone at random to prove a point. Luckily I landed a much better job and relived a lot of stress. Led to healing of UC from less stress.

* Started building a house, my dog got cancer and died during that.

* Finished the house, had some marital issues after 13 years which we worked out and became stronger for, adopted a new dog during that process. During this I decided to try some anti-depressants which just made things much worse for a while. I really don't do well on meds.

* Landed in the hospital from an Afib attack that wouldn't go away. Was in afib for a week. Took a huge dose of Taurine and within an hour I was back to normal, Which leads me to believe my Afib is stress and possibly electrolyte driven.

* One of my best friends got rushed to the hospital. He was fine then he wasn’t. He died in the hospital from Acute Lukemia that no one was aware of. This was during our marriage issues and actually pushed us to resolve them. He left behind 3 kids. One of them was 3 weeks old.

* Celebrated our 14 year anniversary as a family in NY. Contracted EKC (Crazy Eye Infection)

* Took Antibiotics which kicked off a full Pan-Colitis flare and lost 30lbs in 2 weeks. Still fighting that flare up to this day. On all sorts of meds but I am taking myself off of them and using natural way of healing and so far it seems to be working.

* Had one of my sisters hang herself but luckily was saved by her boyfriend last week.

* My kids are starting to have some GI issues so I am hoping they don't get anything like I have.

* Almost one year to the day of adopting the dog, he died yesterday from complications of a heart murmur and a Kidney Infection in a very disturbing and unexpected way.

The last 6 bullet points was the last 6 months.

Like seriously, Life likes to kick me in the ass but up until losing my Dog yesterday I hadn't really thought about how much we deal with mentally/physically during life.

I know this is a woe is me thread which I don't usually like but in my reading lately on how to deal with things, writing about them and talking about it was encouraged. So sorry for the rant.

To make this productive, what do you all do to deal with and process stress? Maybe I don't really know how to deal with it and I have just buried it and kept moving.

Today’s update:

Ha. Can’t help but laugh at my bad luck lately.

The dog we adopted has a Upper Respitory Infection and has been coughing and doing some of the same things my other dog that died last week did. So have an appointment tomorrow for her.

Then last night at midnight all of the smoke detectors went off in the house. I jumped up from a dead sleep and ended up tossing my heart into afib. About an hour later it went off again. Figured out one may have gone bad. Unplugged it. Went to sleep in afib.

Got to work and around 10:30 AM I took the pills that knock me out of afib. I usually can get myself out without meds but this time it wasn’t stopping and I don’t like to let it go. I was out of afib within 20 mins.

About 11 I started to notice my tongue was numb. Then my ears were ringing. Followed by flashing in my eyes. I managed to turn my chair to my buddy and said to get me to the ER. After that I was gone. Luckily I work at a medical facility. They called 911 and the local nurses came and tossed me on the floor and started working on things. I came to once I was flat and started to get blood back to the brain. Naturally the first thing I did when I came to was crack a joke about them throwing me on the dirty floor.

Ambulance took me to the ER. They did chest X-rays and labs. Apparently my blood pressure tanked from those meds. I was also low on Magnesium and Potassium which they said probably led to the afib. They tossed me on some IVs to balance things out. I get released and go on my way.

Come to find out my mother in law was also rushed to the ER 10 mins before me for almost the same exact thing. So needless to say my wife was super stressed.

At this point im just chuckling and staying positive.

 

[Aurelian]

Hey, it's frequently good to share -- it can help you elaborate your thoughts and put events in context.

That's a lot of crap to deal with, and my condolences on losing your dog. It's never easy even if you've only known them for a short while.

The best thing I can say is a total cliché, but it's true: it's not whether you fall that matters, it's how you get back up. Life will kick your ass, but it's worth fighting back both to prove that you haven't been conquered and to make sure you enjoy all the good things that life does provide.

 

[888]

Hey, it's frequently good to share -- it can help you elaborate your thoughts and put events in context.

That's a lot of crap to deal with, and my condolences on losing your dog. It's never easy even if you've only known them for a short while.

The best thing I can say is a total cliché, but it's true: it's not whether you fall that matters, it's how you get back up. Life will kick your ass, but it's worth fighting back both to prove that you haven't been conquered and to make sure you enjoy all the good things that life does provide.

Yeah, I can usually talk about things but I don't always feel I process things, its more like talking about it in a way that I have disconnected myself from the situation.

Thank you, the Dog was a perfect rescue, he didn't need to be trained, he was perfect with kids, we could leave him out to roam the house when we left, he wasn't destructive and overall he was loving. He didn't deserve what he got. He was only about 3 when he died.

I'm certainly not done fighting, I'm too stubborn for that but I really need to find a good way to deal with it outside of burying the issues and moving on. Unless I am overthinking the processing and just need to keep moving on. What I bolded does ring true. I have tons of good in my life and I just need to focus on that, just feels like the bad lately just doesn't let up.

 

[lil puff]

You have had it very hard.

I'm glad you have taken the time to rant.

As I also struggle with some bad luck and misfortune, what keeps me going are the good things. I try to focus on the glimpses of positive things, but yeah you still need to be honest with yourself.

You are a strong person. You'll be fine

 

[888]

You have had it very hard.

I'm glad you have taken the time to rant.

As I also struggle with some bad luck and misfortune, what keeps me going are the good things. I try to focus on the glimpses of positive things, but yeah you still need to be honest with yourself.

You are a strong person. You'll be fine

Thanks, it kinda feels good to rant and type it all out. Hell I am still adding things. I find it so easy to focus on the negative when it happens so often. I was finally starting to not worry about my health stuff and just enjoy things and bam, dog dies.

But you guys are right so far, there are plenty of good things to focus on. I just need to be more productive on dealing with the bad and not ignore it.

 

[Antoon]

Oh man, marrying so young is already life on Hard Mode. But I can see based on your story that you've handled it mostly well, so congrats to not giving up. About stress, I'd say its unavoidable for 99% of people. I made an experiment a few years ago to lock myself up to the point where I would be isolated to focus on long-term art projects. My conditions had minimal stress levels, but Ive noticed that my mind was looking for things that caused stress, and it even created stress when there was none. Its a human instinct I think to want to take risks, so I think stress is quite important for a healthy life.

 

[JareBear: Remastered]

Really sorry to hear about your dog. I would be devastated.

I wish I had good advice. Hopefully writing out your thoughts maybe helped a little?

 

[iconmaster]

I think you actually have done very well.

You're still married after 14 years. (I was also married at 19, btw. And I've been laid off too. Don't have your car accident history or health issues, though.)

You have two kids with merely gastrointestinal (if that's what GI means) issues. We know families with kids who are allergic to almost everything. We also know a family with a kid who's nearly vegetative. Another family whose kid can't go out in public due to immunity issues. Genetics and development go so very wrong for more families than you think. You've actually been extremely fortunate.

And it seems you enjoy your current job.

The health issues are truly hard, I won't minimize those. But there are a lot of people out there who'd happily trade for your life.

 

[triplestation]

An average Joe today lives way better than like a king in the medieval times. They had what, a jester and a pile of grapes? We have the internet dude. We have Doritos. Four lokos brah. VR. Air conditioning and refrigeration. 7/11.

 

[888]

Oh man, marrying so young is already life on Hard Mode. But I can see based on your story that you've handled it mostly well, so congrats to not giving up. About stress, I'd say its unavoidable for 99% of people. I made an experiment a few years ago to lock myself up to the point where I would be isolated to focus on long-term art projects. My conditions had minimal stress levels, but Ive noticed that my mind was looking for things that caused stress, and it even created stress when there was none. Its a human instinct I think to want to take risks, so I think stress is quite important for a healthy life.

That's interesting that your mind crept back to the stress. During stressful situations outside of the dog, I am solid as a rock. My system gets the fallout a short time later, sometimes upwards of a few weeks. For example, one of which I forgot to list until now. One of my friends mom died after being rushed to the hospital, I was told when I got there she was gone. We sat next to her body for quite some time and I was unaffected, I was more concerned with others. It wasn't until a few weeks later that it hit me like a ton of bricks.

You are right, its an unavoidable part of life. I am determined to figure out a better way to process it besides burying it or dwelling on it which I do on health issues.

 

[lil puff]

An average Joe today lives way better than like a king in the medieval times. They had what, a jester and a pile of grapes? We have the internet dude. We have Doritos. Four lokos brah. VR. Air conditioning and refrigeration. 7/11.

We even have Dorito tacos.

But the 4 Locos, wooo. Ouch I stay away from those!

As mentioned before, I also agree art or music is a great outlet for stress. It takes my mind to a different place, a different area of the brain to excersize (I can never spell that word)

 

[888]

I think you actually have done very well.

You're still married after 14 years. (I was also married at 19, btw. And I've been laid off too. Don't have your car accident history or health issues, though.)

You have two kids with merely gastrointestinal (if that's what GI means) issues. We know families with kids who are allergic to almost everything. We also know a family with a kid who's nearly vegetative. Another family whose kid can't go out in public due to immunity issues. Genetics and development go so very wrong for more families than you think. You've actually been extremely fortunate.

And it seems you enjoy your current job.

The health issues are truly hard, I won't minimize those. But there are a lot of people out there who'd happily trade for your life.

Oh you are absolutely correct. I am happy with my life, not complaing about that, I am very fortunate and grateful for what I have. I am sorry to hear about those families. You are right about the genetics, we had a scare about Cystic Fibrosis with my Son because my Wife carried the Gene for it. It is a very scary thing to deal with and I certainly feel for the families affected by things like that.

More of the point of the thread is that I suck at dealing with the stresses that I do have and need to figure out a better way to deal with them that is more productive. Hopefully I am not coming off as complaining about my life. That I don't mean to.

My Son has bad allergies and is allergic to Grass, Oak along with a list of things and food allergies such as Egg etc, which is in almost everything. Where we live he can't really do much outside but thank goodness he likes Videogames. He develops Eczema sores that get infected easily but that's all manageable. He has the trifecta of the Inhaler, Epi-pen and glasses, but he is a happy kid and can roll with the punches. That I am thankful for. I just hope he doesn't develop UC/Crohns with the current issues he has started with.

An average Joe today lives way better than like a king in the medieval times. They had what, a jester and a pile of grapes? We have the internet dude. We have Doritos. Four lokos brah. VR. Air conditioning and refrigeration. 7/11.

You had me at Air Conditioning =)

 

[Redneckerz]

Even do though you this by points OP, these points contain some very serious issues that touch the very cornerstone of life itself. Their impact differs per person and even things that seem harmless from the outside, may be difficult for someone on the inside.

Someone will write a thread to rant it off, like you do. Others will process in silence. One of my US friends family saw his living spaces being in flames this week. And on a egocentric level, there is a lot going on that can carry you away (for me, that is)

One thing i have noticed i am doing when either in stress or in distress is watching a movie like Into The Wild or read a philosophy book. By exploring the themes that may visit you or me during our lifetimes, it is an effort to understand what perhaps cannot be understood ever completely. If you feel in stress, you might consider this option. Cycling through the dunes in the vast expanse of empty space also works a lot, away from all the noise.

To get back to you, I think its a lot you have been dealing with, and its good that you are still here. Like the Punisher in your avatar, hurt but not broken.

Godspeed, Damage.

 

[888]

We even have Dorito tacos.

But the 4 Locos, wooo. Ouch I stay away from those!

As mentioned before, I also agree art or music is a great outlet for stress. It takes my mind to a different place, a different area of the brain to excersize (I can never spell that word)

I have recently changed gears in music from Rock/Metal to actually easier stuff like Jazz which certainly does help. Art is certainly not my strong suit, I am not creative or imaginative, my daughter got all of those skills but the rest of us are terrible.

Exercise certainly is a good relief but while I was dealing with my anxiety I was working out a lot and lost 60+ lbs but I also around that time started with the Afib and UC stuff. I have stayed away from working out since which I think I just need to bite the bullet and not think about it.

 

[888]

Even do though you this by points OP, these points contain some very serious issues that touch the very cornerstone of life itself. Their impact differs per person and even things that seem harmless from the outside, may be difficult for someone on the inside.

Someone will write a thread to rant it off, like you do. Others will process in silence. One of my US friends family saw his living spaces being in flames this week. And on a egocentric level, there is a lot going on that can carry you away (for me, that is)

One thing i have noticed i am doing when either in stress or in distress is watching a movie like Into The Wild or read a philosophy book. By exploring the themes that may visit you or me during our lifetimes, it is an effort to understand what perhaps cannot be understood ever completely. If you feel in stress, you might consider this option. Cycling through the dunes in the vast expanse of empty space also works a lot, away from all the noise.

To get back to you, I think its a lot you have been dealing with, and its good that you are still here. Like the Punisher in your avatar, hurt but not broken.

Godspeed, Damage.

This is my first time every just listing out the shit. I usually deal with it in silence or I will distract myself with something else and let it linger deep down. Certainly not broken and would never quit. Got a philosophy book to recommend? I wouldn't mind sitting somewhere and reading. I do have a bike that I can take around the area I live in since there are trails and I haven't really explored that. Usually if I go to do something one or both of my kids want to come or be involved which is awesome but not always stress free lol. My daughter (5) has developed a liking for gaming so every time I sit down she steals my controller which is funny, but games used to be a good way to disconnect. Lately we all play together but I like your idea of just riding alone.

Really sorry to hear about your dog. I would be devastated.

I wish I had good advice. Hopefully writing out your thoughts maybe helped a little?

Yeah it seems to help, this is a first for writing it out. Thanks man.

 

[Aurelian]

Yeah, I can usually talk about things but I don't always feel I process things, its more like talking about it in a way that I have disconnected myself from the situation.

Thank you, the Dog was a perfect rescue, he didn't need to be trained, he was perfect with kids, we could leave him out to roam the house when we left, he wasn't destructive and overall he was loving. He didn't deserve what he got. He was only about 3 when he died.

I'm certainly not done fighting, I'm too stubborn for that but I really need to find a good way to deal with it outside of burying the issues and moving on. Unless I am overthinking the processing and just need to keep moving on. What I bolded does ring true. I have tons of good in my life and I just need to focus on that, just feels like the bad lately just doesn't let up.

As I understand it, there's a balance to be struck between expressing your problems and dealing with them. It can certainly help to share what you're feeling, especially if it's something where outside support would help. It's just important to recognize when you're venting for venting's sake.

 

[lil puff]

Sometimes the most simplest things help my mental attitude.

Like on a Saturday, doing grocery shopping and planning a meal to make for the evening.

Oddly enough cleaning a room is very satisfying... a clean room is very relaxing and affects the way I think.

An early morning brisk walk on a Saturday morning ... to get beer for the day.

When I was working out, I definitely was more confident in myself.

My PSU on my XB1 broke, and it's been years that I've been so lazy to get it replaced or buy a new Xb1. I miss Forza and the competitive spirit it provided. That's something I need back in my life.

 

[#Phonepunk#]

really sorry about your dog. pets really are a member of your family, and losing them can hit you just the same as long a blood relative. just think about how good it was to be able to have them in your life.

i second music as a good release. art can be a great help during times like this. something to lose yourself in. find your favorite stuff, comfort music, maybe the stuff you were most into as a teenager. it might help take you to a good place.

 

[Redneckerz]

Got a philosophy book to recommend?

Depends! Ever read one before?

I wouldn't mind sitting somewhere and reading. I do have a bike that I can take around the area I live in since there are trails and I haven't really explored that. Usually if I go to do something one or both of my kids want to come or be involved which is awesome but not always stress free lol. My daughter (5) has developed a liking for gaming so every time I sit down she steals my controller which is funny, but games used to be a good way to disconnect. Lately we all play together but I like your idea of just riding alone.

Ill just get my bike and start cycling, unknown destination, just using the internal guidance to know (roughly) where you are going. Not knowing where you will land is really refreshing. Sometimes you can just set a point that you know and cycle to there.

 

[888]

Depends! Ever read one before?


Ill just get my bike and start cycling, unknown destination, just using the internal guidance to know (roughly) where you are going. Not knowing where you will land is really refreshing. Sometimes you can just set a point that you know and cycle to there.

No. Never read one.

When I was a teen I would do that. End up 10 miles away. Maybe it’s time to give that a shot again. Haven’t thought about doing anything like that since I got married.

 

[bitbydeath]

I look at life like we’re all actors in a movie, you hold the script pages and if you don’t keep writing your own script then bad shit happens. It’s the negativity of being lazy that spreads and infects.

Doesn’t help for your hard times right now but I’d recommend you do more than pick yourself back up, you write the next chapter.

 

[Redneckerz]

No. Never read one.

When I was a teen I would do that. End up 10 miles away. Maybe it’s time to give that a shot again. Haven’t thought about doing anything like that since I got married.

Then perhaps an introduction to the various philosophies would be good. There is a philosophy thread.

 

[Catphish]

When life shits on me, I cling tighter to the things that make me happy: my kid, family, friends, and my games.

It's about all I *can* do.

That said, I'm sorry to hear about all you've been through, Damage. Those are some shitty cards to be dealt. But it can always be worse. Try to take stock of your blessings. That might help you feel better. Best wishes, mate.

 

[888]

I look at life like we’re all actors in a movie, you hold the script pages and if you don’t keep writing your own script then bad shit happens. It’s the negativity of being lazy that spreads and infects.

Doesn’t help for your hard times right now but I’d recommend you do more than pick yourself back up, you write the next chapter.

That’s pretty deep stuff man. Very thought provoking.

 

[All Hail C-Webb]

It sounds like an exciting and fulfilling life with no obstacles that you couldn't overcome.
You think it comes off as a 'woe is me' post, but a huge portion of people would kill for that to be their story.
You wouldn't cherish the good as much without some struggles.

Keep doing what you're doing.

 

[Ten_Fold]

I’m glad your still standing strong OP, life can for sure hit you. 2018 was one of the worst years I’ve had an I’m only 26 now lol. Lost my job, car broke down, I had some rare eye infection which cost me a lot of savings and I couldn’t work my fiancé family took her car away because they didn’t want her driving me to the doctors even though we live together, an they not a fan of black people. Best thing is I got a new car and a new job an she is waiting on her Tesla so we are doing good, but life can hit you soo hard makes you just want to cry.

 

[888]

I’m glad your still standing strong OP, life can for sure hit you. 2018 was one of the worst years I’ve had an I’m only 26 now lol. Lost my job, car broke down, I had some rare eye infection which cost me a lot of savings and I couldn’t work my fiancé family took her car away because they didn’t want her driving me to the doctors even though we live together, an they not a fan of black people. Best thing is I got a new car and a new job an she is waiting on her Tesla so we are doing good, but life can hit you soo hard makes you just want to cry.

I feel you man. Especially on the eye infection. That is what set in motion my latest health issues and when your eyes are at risk that’s pretty scary stuff. Glad things are looking up for ya. You’ll have to chime in on the Tesla when you get to drive it.

 

[Chairman Tickles]

Sorry to hear that bro. It's easier said than done, but I think you need to take life by the balls and squeeze. Don't let it trample you in this way. Take charge. You tell life how it's gonna be from now on.

* Landed in the hospital from an Afib attack that wouldn't go away. Was in afib for a week. Took a huge dose of Taurine and within an hour I was back to normal, Which leads me to believe my Afib is stress and possibly electrolyte driven.

Get your body's internal balance in order. Eat better, and make time for exercise.

* Celebrated our 14 year anniversary as a family in NY. Contracted EKC (Crazy Eye Infection)

If it doesn't kill you it will only teach you an important lesson. Lessons are good.

* Took Antibiotics which kicked off a full Pan-Colitis flare and lost 30lbs in 2 weeks. Still fighting that flare up to this day. On all sorts of meds but I am taking myself off of them and using natural way of healing and so far it seems to be working.

There you go, you're healing. Strengthen your body overall with some muscle building. Muscle is metabolically active tissue that helps regulate most processes in the body. More muscle = more healthy.

* Had one of my sisters hang herself but luckily was saved by her boyfriend last week.

Absolutely nothing you can do about this. Don't let it burden you. You can't be her minder 24/7. My uncle hung himself in the space of 1 hour, despite being watched 23/7 (he turned schizophrenic).

* My kids are starting to have some GI issues so I am hoping they don't get anything like I have.

Gastro-intestinal issues? Reconsider your family diet.

* Almost one year to the day of adopting the dog, he died yesterday from complications of a heart murmur and a Kidney Infection in a very disturbing and unexpected way.

There's only one way to beat cruel situations like this. Get another dog immediately.

 

[Cato]

Warning: This may be a poorly thought out rant thread. This is not an I hate my life thread but I suck in the way of processing and reliving my stress in a productive manner thread =)

Jeezz man. Life is rough for almost all of us. Maybe a lot rougher for you but we all have the pain. It is what makes us human. Suffering and overcoming the pain.
I pray you see the good parts of life because it will balance out the bad parts.

We all have bad parts in this journey. Some a lot worse than others. Know you have others and folks like us to keep your back.
I hope you will overcome the struggle. It will get better.

Let me offer a hand. If you ever need to get away, to relax, to sort your mind out. I'm on the other side of the planet. Far far away.
Come visit, you stay at my house we drink beer have bbq and just heal.

 

[5secondrulesucks]

i dont know the only advice i can give you that worked for me is just be fucking dumber. i know that sounds mean but what i mean is i used to be someone that thought about everything worried about fucking everything and it just ruined my life. i know it may sound easy to say but just fucking relax. stop trying to control everything because when you realize you cant youll be cool youll stop worrying about everything. i mean your list alone just shows me youre "one of those". bad shit has happened to you but bad shit has happened to 99 percent of the world. sometimes you need to be taken down a peg and brought down to earth and realize youre not the center of the universe. i think people here will think im being harsh but its better than being coddled. you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start taking command of things that are actually important like your kids and family. i will say dont listen to people whos only thing to say is "im sorry" because at the end of the day youre the only who cares about your life and one in control baby

 

[888]

Sorry to hear that bro. It's easier said than done, but I think you need to take life by the balls and squeeze. Don't let it trample you in this way. Take charge. You tell life how it's gonna be from now on.



Get your body's internal balance in order. Eat better, and make time for exercise.



If it doesn't kill you it will only teach you an important lesson. Lessons are good.



There you go, you're healing. Strengthen your body overall with some muscle building. Muscle is metabolically active tissue that helps regulate most processes in the body. More muscle = more healthy.



Absolutely nothing you can do about this. Don't let it burden you. You can't be her minder 24/7. My uncle hung himself in the space of 1 hour, despite being watched 23/7 (he turned schizophrenic).



Gastro-intestinal issues? Reconsider your family diet.



There's only one way to beat cruel situations like this. Get another dog immediately.

The diet certainly has improved over the years. Still have a liking for cookies. Have all but cut out fast food except for something like a breakfast burrito on occasion. We have been dabbling with Keto as well. I literally only drink water. I used to drink unsweetened tea but I was told caffeine can irritate the UC/Crohns so there went that. I’ve been drinking like that since about 2012. I don’t drink alcohol and I have never smoked a cigarette. So I’m very thankful I don’t have those to curb. I do fasting as well and I really feel that helps.

I have made my own magnesium sprays to apply on the skin that helps. The Afib is calmer when I am regular with that. The other times the afib kicks in is when I compress the chest area, for example, working out doing a push up can do it if I accidentally hold my breath while pushing back up. It has kicked off multiple times from being startled awake and getting hit with that rush of adrenaline. I’ve learned to control both triggers. I’ve been looked at by a new cardiologist who confirmed there is nothing wrong with my heart and this is just a quirk. I’ve learned to not focus on it anymore.

As for the dog. I got the call from the cremation service about returning Castle home. That was tough and somehow made me instantly leave work and go to the shelter. If there is a dog I can help like I have my last few that were sad and lonely in a shelter I’m going to do that. Played with one yesterday and he was cool but a little rough for my daughter. I sent a couple emails out on some other rescues and browsed the surrounding county shelters online to see what they had. Going today when everyone wakes up to go visit a couple.

My son lost it today when the dog didn’t come running down the stairs for him when we got home from dinner. So I think our minds are made up on a new one. Just don’t want to feel he was so replaceable the weekend he died.

Jeezz man. Life is rough for almost all of us. Maybe a lot rougher for you but we all have the pain. It is what makes us human. Suffering and overcoming the pain.
I pray you see the good parts of life because it will balance out the bad parts.

We all have bad parts in this journey. Some a lot worse than others. Know you have others and folks like us to keep your back.
I hope you will overcome the struggle. It will get better.

Let me offer a hand. If you ever need to get away, to relax, to sort your mind out. I'm on the other side of the planet. Far far away.
Come visit, you stay at my house we drink beer have bbq and just heal.

I’m slowly learning to relax again, it’s been a difficult process but the new job in 2016 really helped with that.

I’ll gladly have a water with you (read above lol) im a light weight and one beer does me in since I don’t drink. I appreciate the offer man.

i dont know the only advice i can give you that worked for me is just be fucking dumber. i know that sounds mean but what i mean is i used to be someone that thought about everything worried about fucking everything and it just ruined my life. i know it may sound easy to say but just fucking relax. stop trying to control everything because when you realize you cant youll be cool youll stop worrying about everything. i mean your list alone just shows me youre "one of those". bad shit has happened to you but bad shit has happened to 99 percent of the world. sometimes you need to be taken down a peg and brought down to earth and realize youre not the center of the universe. i think people here will think im being harsh but its better than being coddled. you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start taking command of things that are actually important like your kids and family. i will say dont listen to people whos only thing to say is "im sorry" because at the end of the day youre the only who cares about your life and one in control baby

You are pretty much spot on besides one point. The center of the universe point. That is something I don’t believe is fitting as I don’t like attention etc. but maybe I’m misunderstanding.

BUT! You are right about the worrying and trying to control everything lately. Before the point where my cousin died I was much more relaxed. Most of the time I didn’t give a shit about anything which at times was a problem. All of my teenage years I was just interested in hanging out with my buddies and playing games, messing with cars etc.

Even after I got married I was chill besides the typical early marital stresses. It wasn’t until my cousin died and I was turning 30 which just spun me into a aniexty filled panic. I started to hyper focus on things, to the point of causing extreme anxiety and worry. Things that were never a problem became a problem. I put that focus on my health because I didn’t want to disappear on my family. There was some good like losing 60lbs roughly to bring me back to a good weight. But even with the loss of that weight the worry didn’t abate. The job at the time was an extreme stressor and I worked from home so I never got away from stress.

That all changed when I said enough. Found another job. Quit and have been happy professionally for a few years now. That has allowed me to relax a bit.

But I still need to chill a bit more. I still get lost in research on things that concern me. There still is a focus on things but it doesn’t last as long. I notice on the days I just enjoy life my stomach issues settle a bit. There is certainly a link between emotional state and the gut.

I do need to care a little less about the things I can’t control especially when it comes to health stuff. I get what you’re saying and it’s not harsh. It’s been very interesting getting people’s take on it. Writing it all out for the first time, I’m kinda getting my own take on it myself.

I appreciate everyone’s suggestions. You all are all awesome. Thanks for taking the time.

 

[crowbrow]

Yep life gets hard and harder and harder. Silly me I actually thought it gets easier. I firmly believe kids should be paired with life coaches at school. I mean learning math and literature is cool and important but there's nothing as important as being prepared for the lashes life will throw at you and the faster in life people get their shit together the better theyll be able to deal with unexpected things. People should be blatant and upfront with kids about this.

 

[lil puff]

i dont know the only advice i can give you that worked for me is just be fucking dumber. i know that sounds mean but what i mean is i used to be someone that thought about everything worried about fucking everything and it just ruined my life. i know it may sound easy to say but just fucking relax. stop trying to control everything because when you realize you cant youll be cool youll stop worrying about everything. i mean your list alone just shows me youre "one of those". bad shit has happened to you but bad shit has happened to 99 percent of the world. sometimes you need to be taken down a peg and brought down to earth and realize youre not the center of the universe. i think people here will think im being harsh but its better than being coddled. you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start taking command of things that are actually important like your kids and family. i will say dont listen to people whos only thing to say is "im sorry" because at the end of the day youre the only who cares about your life and one in control baby

Once you spend a minute or 2 to digest it, it makes sense.


I think what it says is do not overthink every single thing in your world. Move on.

 

[5secondrulesucks]

Once you spend a minute or 2 to digest it, it makes sense.


I think what it says is do not overthink every single thing in your world. Move on.

did you just call me it

 

[#Phonepunk#]

we all go through tough shit. it is the tragedy of life. even when things are great and wonderful, change is inevtiable, and it can come suddenly and without warning. this is why it is more important than ever to not dwell on the past or future but to appreciate the good things you have now.

this is the title song from my favorite album of last year, Andrew W.K.'s You're Not Alone. it is a unique power pop album that is unyielding in it's optimism, and listening to it helps to make me feel better after a bad day. so much of media is cynical or downright apocalyptic right now, so it is refreshing to hear such pure optimism in the face of all that.



If you're frightened
If you're worried
You're not alone
Hand in hand
We'll take the step
Into the great unknown

 

[Pagusas]

OP no offense but other than your one car accident, your life is no different than anyone else’s. Life isnt taking jabs at you, you don’t have it worse or better than anyone else.

 

[888]

OP no offense but other than your one car accident, your life is no different than anyone else’s. Life isnt taking jabs at you, you don’t have it worse or better than anyone else.

Certainly not saying mine is any different. Again the point is trying to find a better way to deal with the stress.

 

[wvnative]

Yikes dude. I don't have advice but you do seem to have a terrible string of luck. You do have my sympathy, I sorta understand that feeling of life kicking you in the ass and up the balls non-stop.

To quote the Soul Calibur announcer

Stand! Fight to your last breath.

That is all I got for you man. I'm with ya in spirit though. Maybe try to find an outlet? Is weed legal in your neck of the woods? (Hey the dude has had a rough time, i'd say it's a worthy suggestion)

 

[synchronicity]

Yep, life can punch hard.

For me, I think I came to a realization that letting go of the need to be "happy" or the need for life to be a certain way was the road ultimately, and ironically, to lasting contentment or "happiness". I embrace the pain and the struggle. Life can't always be "good" or be what you wish it were. I try to think of life as an epic adventure, almost like when you're watching a good movie where the characters have their ups and downs and you're so invested in what's going on with them. I kind of watch myself from the outside, at a distance, and appreciate my own dilemmas and battles, along with my joys and victories. I try to just let it be, whatever it may be, and have a curious and amused nature towards my own circumstances, good and bad.

 

[888]

We decided to adopt another dog right away to minimize the hollowness in the house. We made a visit to the same shelter I got the last dog at almost a year to the day.

We adopted a dog named Miss Piggy who was really chill and very behaved with the kids.

Not going to let life stop me from enjoying what we can. I bet I can make a list of good things that out weighs the bad stuff. Gotta take the bad with the good I suppose.

Thanks for all the advice guys. Helps to talk about it.

 

[NewComer]

As what other posters here mentioned, taking action is the best solution to coping with stress. I think it is the best cure for forgetting your past. I hope you don't view life too negatively.

 

[Halo is Back]

I’ll go ahead and give my favorite quote from RD2 “Life if full of pain but also full of beauty Mr. Morgan. Take a chance that love still exist and do a loving act.”

 

[Ownage]

Re: attempting to alleviate anxiety, I quit giving a damn about anyone else and focusing on my immediate concerns. It helped me regain control over my life path, and helped me realize which friends and family were helpful to me and which were leeches or a drag.

I also cut out booze and began eating a clean diet every day. Further, I started going to sleep before 9pm, and up around 6-7am. Within a couple of months my reservoir of patience grew tremendously, and my anxiety went away.

Hope you sort things out and find your own way.

 

[wvnative]

We decided to adopt another dog right away to minimize the hollowness in the house. We made a visit to the same shelter I got the last dog at almost a year to the day.

We adopted a dog named Miss Piggy who was really chill and very behaved with the kids.

Not going to let life stop me from enjoying what we can. I bet I can make a list of good things that out weighs the bad stuff. Gotta take the bad with the good I suppose.

Thanks for all the advice guys. Helps to talk about it.

Probably the best mindset to have. Just do what brings you joy, and be ready to pound the shit out of anything that stands in your way (Metaphorically, not literally)

 

[888]

Ha. Can’t help but laugh at my bad luck lately.

The dog we adopted has a Upper Respitory Infection and has been coughing and doing some of the same things my other dog that died last week did. So have an appointment tomorrow for her.

Then last night at midnight all of the smoke detectors went off in the house. I jumped up from a dead sleep and ended up tossing my heart into afib. About an hour later it went off again. Figured out one may have gone bad. Unplugged it. Went to sleep in afib.

Got to work and around 10:30 AM I took the pills that knock me out of afib. I usually can get myself out without meds but this time it wasn’t stopping and I don’t like to let it go. I was out of afib within 20 mins.

About 11 I started to notice my tongue was numb. Then my ears were ringing. Followed by flashing in my eyes. I managed to turn my chair to my buddy and said to get me to the ER. After that I was gone. Luckily I work at a medical facility. They called 911 and the local nurses came and tossed me on the floor and started working on things. I came to once I was flat and started to get blood back to the brain. Naturally the first thing I did when I came to was crack a joke about them throwing me on the dirty floor.

Ambulance took me to the ER. They did chest X-rays and labs. Apparently my blood pressure tanked from those meds. I was also low on Magnesium and Potassium which they said probably led to the afib. They tossed me on some IVs to balance things out. I get released and go on my way.

Come to find out my mother in law was also rushed to the ER 10 mins before me for almost the same exact thing. So needless to say my wife was super stressed.

At this point im just chuckling and staying positive.