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[dave_d]

The one my mom said is coming true. All the cops are way younger than me. Admittedly when cops get near my age of 52 they retire.

 

[jufonuk]

Well and that there's only 1 Matrix movie. (You forgot to mention that.)

 

[IntentionalPun]

When you start fucking women half your age.

 

[ThatStupidLion]

More people you know are dying / getting divorved.

 

[ThatStupidLion]

When you start fucking women half your age.

So thats reason your wifes got a perfect asshole, its pooped half as much as yours

 

[zeioIIDX]

Fucking knee pain for no reason. Making noises/grunts when standing up or sitting down. Increasingly nihilistic/apathetic thoughts. I'm 37 next month. Ugh.

 

[Freelance Yakuza]

Being part of the last generation born before the internet became mainstream

 

[gaming_again]

Pissing in the middle of the night is a big one. Luckily I feel as good at 41 that I did at 21 just not in as good of shape, but still halfway decent. So I don't have too many of these that I can think of.

Another big one is the sex drive. I was fiend in my 20's. Was literally horny 24/7/365. I still have a decent drive in my 40's, but it's not like it was and thank god. It's so annoying/distracting wanting to fuck all the time.

When I think about my mid-20s
/early 30s sex drive I feel as though I have another person's memories.

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

Being part of the last generation born before the internet became mainstream

Jesus I still remember loading games off a cassette.

 

[Freelance Yakuza]

Calling it floppy disk instead of save icon

 

[gaming_again]

Mine:

Turning a porno off in disgust at how young the actress is.
Being on his side when seeing the Principle Skinner meme.
Seeing dungarees come back into fashion for the third time.
Hoping your wife isn't horny on the scheduled sex day (an old thing in itself) because you had a wank that morning already.
Turning films/games off or discarding a book when you realise it's shit instead of seeing it through to the end.

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

True story: I got an Atari ST for Christmas one year (wanted an Amiga thanks mom & dad but thats another story) anyway got this game 'The Guild of Thieves' was an adventure game (you know go left, turn right etc) anyway got far into it and didn't know how to save - this was Christmas night with the family all watching - the disk wasn't 'write protected' as I had no idea what that meant.

So saved my game onto the game disk...

We took it back to Virgin Megastore the day after Boxing Day and said it didn't load...

 

[winjer]

Seeing news about the death of famous actors, singers, politicians and sportsman, that we watched on TV, when we were much younger.

 

[OmegaSupreme]

Seeing the action movie stars of the 80's and 90's old as hell now and a shadow of their former selves. Look at Arnold. Old and so much smaller than he used to be. It's inevitable but still sad.

 

[dave_d]

Another one, having to moisturize since my hands get completely dried out, crack and bleed in cold weather. (Saw my mom have to do that as she got older now I have to do it too.)

 

[IntentionalPun]

So thats reason your wifes got a perfect asshole, its pooped half as much as yours

My wife is 13 years younger than me but we have younger friends lol

 

[Vyse]

Seeing how much my 401k has grown.

 

[Bitmap Frogs]

When I started seeing characters in movies that I watched growing up and thought "Damn... that right there is a grown ass man". And then realizing the actors were younger than I am now when they played those roles.

I.e. Bruce Willis was 33 in Die Hard and Russel Crowe was 35 in Gladiator. Im 39.

Fuckin hell.

The real shock is realizing that you’re older than Homer Simpson.

 

[Yerd]

Scrolling to find your birth year on online forms.

Agreed. But it doesn't matter one bit. I choose jan 1 1999 and access a site.

 

[IDKFA]

Preferring a night in with a whiskey, reading a history book and getting my dicked sucked to going out clubbing with the kids.

 

[WoJ]

Going to bed at 10:30

Reading more

Getting up earlier

Realizing I probably have more life ahead of me over the age of 50 than before

Wanting to eat dinner at 5:30 so I can sleep better

This thread has covered most of them honestly.

 

[Mattdaddy]

The real shock is realizing that you’re older than Homer Simpson.

Oh my god... big ouch lol.

 

[The Pleasure]

My ears aren't as good... or people mumble more today. Honestly I think it's a combo of both.

My balls get stinky way faster. Just smells like old sweat but I definitely noticed it when I turned 40.

If they're mice balls, kanjobazooie would tell you how nice they are to touch.

 

[SentientStone]

Maybe just not feeling new(?) slangs like slay and rizz?

Also, not into TikTok and short vids of even women dancing. But then again, I am the type of dude who sorta maybe just got used to the fist bump recently.

 

[Trogdor1123]

Maybe just not feeling new(?) slangs like slay and rizz?

Also, not into TikTok and short vids of even women dancing. But then again, I am the type of dude who sorta maybe just got used to the fist bump recently.

My kids say these words, they toss in Preppy and some other stupid ones. I promptly use them immediately and say how fetch they are. They stop pretty soon after that. It’s a tough job, but it’s a rewarding one…

 

[cormack12]

Maybe just not feeling new(?) slangs like slay and rizz?

Also, not into TikTok and short vids of even women dancing. But then again, I am the type of dude who sorta maybe just got used to the fist bump recently.

Fistbumps are old skool, we are now doing bro kisses

 

[DetectiveBananas]

1. Miss getting excited about new things cause they don’t exceed what you’ve already experienced.
2. The god damn arthritis when you lift something heavy in cold weather.
3. Not recognizing most musical acts and wondering why people like them.
4. The constant lowering of the bar for people to succeed or surpass what came before.
Now excuse me while I go yell at this rogue cloud passing by my house!

 

[MaestroMike]

had a gray hair on my mustache in oct./nov., but i don't see it anymore i think i was just stressed out for a couple of months. more interested in military stuff and history kinda that’s an old man thing right ? More patient with ppl but if I can find a way to speed things up I’ll go in that direction. My body’s always been banged up since my twenties but I always eat right and get enough rest to recover for the next day it’s still usable

 

[ADiTAR]

Can't eat spicy food no more. I LOVED spicy food but now it just blows up my stomach and arse.

 

[fran.fernandez]

When I go club or bar. I constantly go pee after finishing a gin tonic lol

Also no more Brazilian churrasco or every day meat. It feels awful next day.

 

[Valedix]

Less sleep, less time for yourself, and when all you think about is bills and income.

 

[LiquidMetal14]

You take a knee to pick up a pencil tim Tebow style

Farting more satisfying and longer rippers

Naps are legit moreso

While the sex drive decreased, longevity increases and you don't nut like you've never done it before. I look at that as a positive for a woman who likes to go long which also relates to.....

Being able to go long spoils women and you're an older grumpy middle aged man who can't keep up appearances all the time

7am wake up is the new 12pm sleep in

You get annoyed by modern trends including the way the new hip words make less sense than ever

Can't pull off 25 straight shoryken's with light jab button like we used to

Longer restroom trips due to appreciating being left alone since the kids are on me like flies on shit

Me/alone time is watching futbol on the weekends and going to the club is now UFC 297

 

[sloppyjoe_gamer]

-I have so much less patience than i used to.
-I lift weights every day and walk for 40 minutes everyday yet im still in some sort of pain (either hips, back, shoulders or neck).
-If i drink anything after 8, ill have to wake up and pee around 3am
-Waking up in the am with a headache sometimes
-I hate excessively loud things
-I complain alot lol

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Starting when I was about 40, my ass power holding in a dump has dropped like rock.

If this was during my university days, I’d be able to hold in the urge to shit at school till I made it home over an hour later no problem. I am 100% positive I never had to crap at any subway station. It was like my ass had D&D strength 18/00.

Now, the urge to purge is fast. I don’t think I can last more the 15-20 minutes tops. I now have to force myself to shit in sketchy pubs and the other week had to lay one at my hair cutters. Ass power now like 5/18.

 

[CGNoire]

When I started seeing characters in movies that I watched growing up and thought "Damn... that right there is a grown ass man". And then realizing the actors were younger than I am now when they played those roles.

I.e. Bruce Willis was 33 in Die Hard and Russel Crowe was 35 in Gladiator. Im 39.

Fuckin hell.

For me it was David Doucovney on X-Files realizing he was 29 at the time. I was like Ohhh Nooo.

 

[CGNoire]

Peeing and shaking well only to take 2 steps afterward and have your underwear soaked with a good amount of extra dribble.

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

Cannot drink as much. Only had two gin and tonics over Christmas week.

Normally would have gone through two bottles of gin at least.

 

[OmegaSupreme]

Turning films/games off or discarding a book when you realise it's shit instead of seeing it through to the end.

This is a good thing imo. No need to suffer through crap or even mediocrity just to say you finished it. Time gets more precious by the day. Ain't nobody got time for crap media.

 

[Chiggs]

• Getting excited about the new Dyson vacuum cleaner you purchased.
• Enjoying staying in and playing video games, reading a book, or watching Netflix.
• Can't go on amusement park rides because it just beats the shit out of you.

 

[Alebrije]

You enter an airplane an the captain and crew look like kids with a new toy...

Be more exited about the new Milwaukee drill than the new Resident Evil.

 

[gundalf]

You need to invest in a new mattress and office/gaming chair, my friend.

And taking long warm baths, it restores your body.
I'm in my mid 30s and since I focus actively on my wellbeing I feel so much better than I ever did in my early 20s.

 

[NeoIkaruGAF]

• Getting excited about the new Dyson vacuum cleaner you purchased.

But this happens at any age. There’s something oddly satisfying about those things. I’ve seen a bunch of youngish people buy a Dyson within months of starting their first payed job. Dysons are the iPhones of vacuum cleaners, getting one makes you really feel like you’ve leveled up.

 

[gaming_again]

We still use VAX. The green bubble of vacuum cleaners. Will I ever make it?

 

[Valonquar]

Martin Short in Only Murders in the Building said something that hit hard. "The older you get, the longer it takes to stop peeing."

 

[Aesius]

Realizing that $1,000 (and even $10,000, really) is nothing and disappears almost instantly due to bills and random expenses

Seeing an income/wealth chasm start to develop between yourself and others. Mid 30s and have some friends who are making $35k and others who make 10x that or more.

Losing interest in sports and video games and feeling the need to be productive with most or all of my time.

Being far more invested in protecting and strengthening my marriage. I’m at the age where a lot of first marriages start to fail.

Wanting to work out not to get ripped (although that’s a nice perk) but mostly to stay healthy and avoid pain.

Being unable to eat 90% of junk food because of the stomach discomfort it causes (GERD).

 

[TastyPastry]

for me it's the back pain