abstract alien
Member
It really does seem like people are taking this much too literal
I'm disappointed to see the pushback from this sort of thread. I'm a crossdressing, feminist gay guy with a pony avatar, and I like blogs like this one. They're not for me, but I think it's a real shame that social conventions of masculinity have strayed from being dependable and useful to being as boorish and misogynistic as possible. Figuring out what to aspire to as a straight guy can be a little tough in today's world; I'm glad of the effort some are putting in to swim against the current.
On that note, I really love The Good Men Project (nee No Seriously What About Teh Menz!?)
http://goodmenproject.com/
Whatever makes you happy, brother.It's not about it being a threat to the other gender (women?) or anything, this dialogue "men do this, men do that" - is manipulative and meaningless. Who decides when a boy turns into a man? Isn't the criteria different for every person? Why bother trying to meet anyone else's definition of a man, other than your own? At that point, why even create this archetype of a man in the first place? It's just a sinkhole I'd rather not see other people fall into.
Not to get all sappy, but I didn't have a dad around either for most of my childhood, and I turned out great. There is nothing he could have taught me that I couldn't have learned from my mother or from my own person experiences, the only special thing about him was that he was my father, not that he was a man.
I don't think there is anything wrong with the blog in the first link, and it has some very solid advice - I just think it's dangerous to fall into the 'what is a man' argument, which happens sooooo damn often when these sorts of discussions occur. Why not forget that entirely made-up narrative and just focus on being a healthy, happy, well rounded person - your gender being something entirely personal.
On a scale from 1 to 10, how serious is this thread, and how serious should the responses be?
Whatever makes you happy, brother.
I don't think its that serious. We've become way too sensitive.
It really does seem like people are taking this much too literal
I'm not upset or anything, I mean... I came in this thread to discuss the topic at hand... was I not supposed to?
well if the topic is anything it shows how uncomfortable and insecure everyone has gotten when it comes to even addressing the idea of masculinity. too bad really. I agree that the 'you're not a real man unless you _____" shit is stupid but its like we cant even have what essentially equates to discussion on a gag version equivalent of a man Cosmo magazine without everyone going all sweatypalms
Well I've mentioned a few times that I really don't have a single problem with that blog in the first link of the OP - however I assumed this thread was about manliness and masculinity in general, and other posts in the thread spurred me into commenting. If this thread is just about the blog, then I don't think anyone else would really have an issue either, especially not after reading it.I just don't see how different this is from GQ or Esquire, which have similar content and aims. It's just audience. The blog is written for a specific audience, which has specific interests and needs. How it is different from women's centered blogs and publications?
Here's a tip - put a pinch of sage in your boots, and all day long a spicy scent is your reward.
People are addressing the idea of masculinity - they are discussing it and weighing in. When you dismiss their opinions as sweaty palmed insecurities or whatever, the discussion really isn't being moved forward.
I would love it if someone wanted to discuss my opinions on masculinity, and manliness or whatever - I think I've made them clear, I'd much prefer it to people assuming I'm throwing some oversensitive tempter tantrum or something.
Here's a tip - put a pinch of sage in your boots, and all day long a spicy scent is your reward.
So to be a man, you need to emulate the late 1800s/early 1900s?
I am not saying that you are insecure. I am saying that the topic itself obviously makes people nervous and defensive no matter what their conceptualization of "being a man" actually is. You have people reading a couple of things and saying "THATS NOT ME AND IM A MAN", but the point of the blog's content is that a man is a lot of different things with different interests.
Its way too serious of reaction to something so essentially casual.
I think the mistake you're making is that you think that people (me for example) are upset about the contents of that fancy blog. I think the majority of 'negative' comments about the blog have been "that's nice advice, but it should be good for a man or a woman". There are other things in this thread people are responding too.
I usually have people question my "manliness" more than one would think. You look at me and probably assume I watch sports, only eat nails for breakfast, and don't wash my cloths often. Then when people find out that I don't watch sports, I love to cook, like bright colors, I'm both a bit of a nerd as well as a dork, and I keep a clean home...I'm labeled as anything but manly lol
I think the mistake you're making is that you think that people (me for example) are upset about the contents of that fancy blog. I think the majority of 'negative' comments about the blog have been "that's nice advice, but it should be good for a man or a woman". There are other things in this thread people are responding too.
Ah, wtf @ Germany.
Japan i don't understand.
True, I guess I am quick to defend this one since they introduced me to the godliness of wet shaving.
Hell, Japanese men are too timid to approach girls nowadays because most are intimidated. I don't have the site on me (I can find them if people call me out though) that something like half of men in Japan did not have a girlfriend; and like a third of young men hadn't even had sex or a girlfriend (or something crazy like that).uh, try watching a couple Akira Kurosawa movies. Yojimbo and Seven Samurai are a good start.
Ah, wtf @ Germany.
I think the mistake you're making is that you think that people (me for example) are upset about the contents of that fancy blog. I think the majority of 'negative' comments about the blog have been "that's nice advice, but it should be good for a man or a woman". There are other things in this thread people are responding too.
I have a mustache, that counts for something right?
Handlebar with twirly ends. All day, every day.The question now is: what mustache do you wear?
The criticisms of the blog in this thread are interesting purely because they don't even discuss the content of the blog; rather, they just talk about assumptions to what the blog contains.
Handlebar with twirly ends. All day, every day.
I don't know about you guys, but I miss the good ol' days of Nazi Germany
yup, blog has got lots of bits of information/advice that I never knew I needed (learning how to whistle with your fingers ftw!!!), but I do wish it wasn't gendered. Because it really doesn't need to be.
uh, try watching a couple Akira Kurosawa movies. Yojimbo and Seven Samurai are a good start.
This whole "manliness" thing is dumb. Because eventually, someone will disapprove of somoene's elses behavior, call him a bitch, and then open up the misogyny can. And it'll spiral out of control from there.
Most of the time "maniliness" is just being a responsible member of society and a thoughtful human being.
How do you chaps feel about this advert?
On the one hand, I know I'm being cynically marketed to. On the other hand, unavoidably, I am that guy. I find it really difficult to get angry at a stereotype that I fit to a tee.
I think of responsibility and thoughtfulness as "good" qualities, but not "manly" qualities. And I've never thought that a manly quality is necessarily a good quality, or a manly man a good man. Bob, who spends his free time doing motocross, hunting, boxing, etc. is more manly than Bill, who spends his free times reading and stamp collecting, even if Bob is a crack dealing bank robber and Bill is a law abiding nice guy.
How do you chaps feel about this advert?
On the one hand, I know I'm being cynically marketed to. On the other hand, unavoidably, I am that guy. I find it really difficult to get angry at a stereotype that I fit to a tee.
I rock this keychain on my bag; what say you ManGAF?
How do you chaps feel about this advert?
On the one hand, I know I'm being cynically marketed to. On the other hand, unavoidably, I am that guy. I find it really difficult to get angry at a stereotype that I fit to a tee.
Nope. I quoted its idealising of thousands of years of classically-toned masculine mentorship (represented as a stunningly continuous ethos) and objected directly to the morally and economically problematic anachronism of it. That kind of bullshit wants to seem historically substantial but it doesn't want to undertake the analytical procedures that constitute historical thinking.
Never mind that the concepts of gentlemanliness that were shuttled along by mentorship, for the vastly larger part of their existence in human thought and affairs, rested emphatically on an effacement or outright evasion of labor. Which is why it seems ludicrous to me to artificially knit them up with what we now imagine as "the duties and responsibilities of man" and think of this highly spurious tapestry as a work of nature - of history itself.