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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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I have one major issue with OKCupid.

http://i.imgur.com/5Iikm.png


This email might as well read "we have decided to hide everyone who isn't in front of a camera with a myspace angle/has photoshopped blue eyes from your matches. Enjoy!"

and no, this isn't stealth brag, I'm pretty sure this is just a "self-esteem" email that most people get. It's still annoying as fuck.

Last time I checked, QM/Quiver didn't have any ratings specifically dedicated to attractiveness. How did they come to that conclusion?

Not that I'm questioning its judgment. I'm just curious.
 

Tunavi

Banned
I'm really good at:
Oral
ogdwuv.gif
 

Lissar

Reluctant Member
Self esteem has zero to with what I'm talking about. A girl with low self esteem could walk into a club, a library, etc. and guys would approach her. Especially if she's good looking, but even that doesn't matter. If a man has low self esteem then he is fucking finished. End of story. There is no hope for him.

Ha, we were actually talking about this the other day. This is not necessarily true because of the amount of guys who don't bother approaching a woman because they assume if a woman is attractive then she must already be taken. Most guys just aren't willing to risk it.
 
Ha, we were actually talking about this the other day. This is not necessarily true because of the amount of guys who don't bother approaching a woman because they assume if I woman is attractive then she must already be taken. Most guys just aren't willing to risk it.

And a girl with low self-esteem might not have problems getting into a relationship but she has tons of problems while in one, especially when it comes to asserting herself. And let's not forget the abusive men who pray on the ones with low self-esteem. It's not necessarily easier for them, just different.
 

Lucario

Member
Last time I checked, QM/Quiver didn't have any ratings specifically dedicated to attractiveness. How did they come to that conclusion?

I think the main factor is the number of people who click on your page compared to the number of times it's displayed, followed by "5s" on quiver, followed by # of unsolicited messages received.

EDIT: It actually says it in the picture.
 
Ha, we were actually talking about this the other day. This is not necessarily true because of the amount of guys who don't bother approaching a woman because they assume if a woman is attractive then she must already be taken. Most guys just aren't willing to risk it.

I don't understand that logic whatsoever. Attractive women can initiate relationships. They can approach men. It isn't the Middle Ages anymore where women have to sit back and be courted. Like I said earlier, if a woman is single it's because she wants to be. I'm mainly talking about attractive women, but even less attractive women can be aggressive and the same would hold true for them.
 
I don't understand that logic whatsoever. Attractive women can initiate relationships. They can approach men. It isn't the Middle Ages anymore where women have to sit back and be courted. Like I said earlier, if a woman is single it's because she wants to be. I'm mainly talking about attractive women, but even less attractive women can be aggressive and the same would hold true for them.

Attractive women can still be insecure and afraid to initiate that contact. And a lot of them don't like to be that forward because of the attitude that men are the pursuers still prevails in how they're brought up.
 

Lucario

Member
I don't understand that logic whatsoever. Attractive women can initiate relationships. They can approach men. It isn't the Middle Ages anymore where women have to sit back and be courted. Like I said earlier, if a woman is single it's because she wants to be. I'm mainly talking about attractive women, but even less attractive women can be aggressive and the same would hold true for them.

Women can (and do) also send -strong- signals towards guys to indicate interest. You just have to not be completely oblivious to them, and not overreact to them.**

**I am a subby gay dude. My advice on women is probably wrong. Also, I never approach men, but I do send signals when I'm interested, and I'm very capable of knowing when a guy has a thing for me.
 

Lissar

Reluctant Member
I don't understand that logic whatsoever. Attractive women can initiate relationships. They can approach men. It isn't the Middle Ages anymore where women have to sit back and be courted. Like I said earlier, if a woman is single it's because she wants to be. I'm mainly talking about attractive women, but even less attractive women can be aggressive and the same would hold true for them.

So if a woman is insecure she's still in the same place as a man who is insecure? Because if a man is confident but not that attractive, he can get women too. If either gender is single and they don't want to be it's because they're not sure how to go about it and probably have self-esteem issues. I'm not really seeing a difference.

I was single for 6 years. I was even approaching guys I was interested in, I'm not that shy about it. I got turned down a few times. I was only asked out by two guys during that time and one was a good friend who I didn't feel I was compatible with, and the other pity dated me. I do not think I am unattractive. It's just how it worked out.
 
I think the main factor is the number of people who click on your page compared to the number of times it's displayed, followed by "5s" on quiver, followed by # of unsolicited messages received.

EDIT: It actually says it in the picture.
I saw the "reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver" but my brain skipped over "clicks to your profile." The amount of traffic your profile gets actually makes a lot of sense as an attractiveness meter, but the rest seems kind of irrelevant.

Actually, when you take all of the criteria into consideration, it's more like "cream of the crop" than "good looking people." So not only should your matches be more physically attractive, they should also have more attractive personalities(in theory).

I don't understand that logic whatsoever. Attractive women can initiate relationships. They can approach men. It isn't the Middle Ages anymore where women have to sit back and be courted. Like I said earlier, if a woman is single it's because she wants to be. I'm mainly talking about attractive women, but even less attractive women can be aggressive and the same would hold true for them.
Your posts in this thread come off as really bitter.
 

Lucario

Member
I saw the "reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver" but my brain skipped over "clicks to your profile." The amount of traffic your profile gets actually makes a lot of sense as an attractiveness meter, but the rest seems kind of irrelevant.

Actually, when you take all of the criteria into consideration, it's more like "cream of the crop" than "good looking people." So not only should your matches be more physically attractive, they should also have more attractive personalities(in theory).

My profile contained filler quotes from "American Psycho" for the first few days of the account's existence. Either people love a joker, or it has absolutely nothing to do with personality. :p
 
So if a woman is insecure she's still in the same place as a man who is insecure? Because if a man is confident but not that attractive, he can get women too. If either gender is single and they don't want to be it's because they're not sure how to go about it and probably have self-esteem issues. I'm not really seeing a difference.

I was single for 6 years. I was even approaching guys I was interested in, I'm not that shy about it. I got turned down a few times. I was only asked out by two guys during that time and one was a good friend who I didn't feel I was compatible with, and the other pity dated me. I do not think I am unattractive. It's just how it worked out.

A woman can be single and still not want to be, unless she's supposed to just date every guy who hits on her. The always "choosing" to be single thing is bitter horseshit.
 

Lissar

Reluctant Member
A woman can be single and still not want to be, unless she's supposed to just date every guy who hits on her. The always "choosing" to be single thing is bitter horseshit.

True enough. Some people like to treat having standards as a bad thing, but sometimes it's just as simple as having an idea of who you would be compatible with. And sometimes that can be difficult to find. No reason to have a bad relationship just for the sake of having any relationship at all.
 

Davey Cakes

Member
With a site like this I find it hard to believe that it's the site that's the problem. More likely, it's the people. There's a lot of dishonesty and misrepresentation. And from what I can tell there are just a lot of folks out there that don't even know what they want, so are willing to window shop and break as many hearts as it takes to find the one that clicks. That raises the issue of standards.

But it's not impossible to find someone good on there. One of my friends met his wife on the site a couple of years ago. And my brother is currently in a successful relationship with somebody he met there (even though it took a long time for him to find her).
 

SapientWolf

Trucker Sexologist
Ha, we were actually talking about this the other day. This is not necessarily true because of the amount of guys who don't bother approaching a woman because they assume if a woman is attractive then she must already be taken. Most guys just aren't willing to risk it.
Alcohol solves that problem. Aka "liquid courage."
 

Lissar

Reluctant Member
Alcohol solves that problem. Aka "liquid courage."

I have had a few guys tell me they think I'm gorgeous once they got sufficiently drunk, but being hit on by a drunk guy (even if you are drunk yourself) isn't exactly flattering, and the one that I could have been interested in getting to know better I ended up never seeing again (he was a friend of a friend.) Ah well.
 

wenis

Registered for GAF on September 11, 2001.
Thinking of changing my profile to this as my current one is incredibly dry in comparison:

My self-summary:
I'm like a sword, I cut through the bullshit. [do better, this should be filled with stuff that can get across what your general attitude is. you put something like this in your profile and you come off as stand-offish and possibly rude, who wants to hang around with that?]

What I'm doing with my life:
Constantly self-improving under the guise of self-imprisoned enterprise. Basically I excercise daily and I try to read a fuckton of books(1-2 weekly, so much OMG!) and watch atleast 1 movie(a week) so I can get some goddamn culture in me. [watch the language, it helps. also saying that you get most of your culture from movies could be a red flag, do you go out? do you see movies with friends? what are you doing to make your life better and exciting? if you're just sitting around watching movies and reading books, while 2 great activities on their own can sometimes be misconstrued as "I want to be left alone"]

I'm really good at:
Common Sense
Untangling things
Fixing your computer
Oral
Trying new foods
Banging out a 100 sentences

[like it was said earlier, burn "oral" out of the list. let them find that out themselves. make this section fun to read, just listing things off is boring and people mostly skim/skip it, make yourself interesting to read about! what are you banging out 100 sentences for?]

The first things people usually notice about me:
My hair, Fabio fall back.
[old reference, but it could work. if your hair is all you got going for you though...]

Favorite books, movies, shows, music and food:

Here are some examples:

Books: Mystery(Touching Evil), Fantasy(Game of Thrones), Scifi(Halo)

Movies: Action(Kill Bill), Drama, Thriller, Horror(silent Hill), Comedy(Easy A)

Shows: Drama(House M.D., Luther) Comedy(Archer, Futurama, Simpsons) Scifi(Battlestar Galactica)

Music: Pop(Little Boots, Gaga, Lykke Li) consumes my taste foremost, then Dubstep(the real kind, not the WUB WUB such as Burial, Clubroot) and Classical and a bit of a bunch of other genres(Kaki King, Janelle Monáe, Sigur Ros, Nujabes).

Food: I eat whatever is on my plate.

[this is the only area where listing actually works, but again, make it interesting to read. the way you present yourself here is how they will perceive you before actually (maybe) meeting you in person. I'd think they'd feel more comfortable going out of their way to meet someone if they are an interesting person from just their onscreen persona]

Six things I could never do without:

My dog
My family
Water, cause I get thirsty writing this bitch.
Music
Words
Even numbers because those other numbers are so odd.

[cursing, tsk tsk, again it's a fine listing category, but make it fun to read]

I spend a lot of time thinking about:

Stressing the small things and laughing at the big things.

[good]

On a typical Friday Night I am:

Not here.

[even better, but it'd be nice to have an example]

The most private thing I'm willing to admit:

I'm less of a many acquaintances person and more of a few close friends kind.

[this is also very good, gives off that you are much more intimate and enjoy close company you can really enjoy time with and listen too versus jumping around a bunch and remaining unfocused]

You should message me if:

You can go to toe with me in the squared circle.
You need a dick that listens.
A conversation that starts at day and ends at night.
if u liek dis n u cried

[lose the dick that listens part, lame bro. are you a dick or do you have a dick, a question they may ask themselves before hitting that "send message button". it's nice to have a joke at the end, work on that]

.
 

Plywood

NeoGAF's smiling token!
Much appreciated wenis. I figured the cursing was a negative, but I was very tired when I wrote this.
 
I have had a few guys tell me they think I'm gorgeous once they got sufficiently drunk, but being hit on by a drunk guy (even if you are drunk yourself) isn't exactly flattering, and the one that I could have been interested in getting to know better I ended up never seeing again (he was a friend of a friend.) Ah well.
I misread this at first and thought that the dudes were being complete assholes. Felt bad for laughing.
I kind of liked the "dick that listens" line.
 

Lissar

Reluctant Member
I misread this at first and thought that the dudes were being complete assholes. Felt bad for laughing.

I kind of liked the "dick that listens" line.

Haha, I guess that line is a bit ambiguous.

"Dick that listens" seems overly aggressive to me. Maybe some girls would like it, but it would give me pause.
 
Women can (and do) also send -strong- signals towards guys to indicate interest. You just have to not be completely oblivious to them, and not overreact to them.**
I am a subby gay dude. My advice on women is probably wrong. Also, I never approach men, but I do send signals when I'm interested, and I'm very capable of knowing when a guy has a thing for me.

Not always the case. Or maybe it was a one time thing with me. Met a girl from school where

-we shared multiple classes together
-always made her laugh, hanging out
- she asked me my sign to see if we were compatible while one night I was driving her home from class
-she would let me touch her ass
-she'd sit behind me in class some days and stretch out her legs around my waist. Hell, during an exam one day, she would squeezing my waist. I was about to pre my pants

So anyway, I didn't show any interest in her in the beginning, but then towards the end of the of the semester, I told her how I felt. Bad move.

I've never had a friend who was a girl that did the things she did. Oh well. Now she moved and is dating a college football player. Me I've ignored her and got over her, but my Archer side: He says to kick this guy in the nuts if I ever run across him, tea bag him and scream, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
 

ajf009

Member


Not always the case. Or maybe it was a one time thing with me. Met a girl from school where

-we shared multiple classes together
-always made her laugh, hanging out
- she asked me my sign to see if we were compatible while one night I was driving her home from class
-she would let me touch her ass
-she'd sit behind me in class some days and stretch out her legs around my waist. Hell, during an exam one day, she would squeezing my waist. I was about to pre my pants

So anyway, I didn't show any interest in her in the beginning, but then towards the end of the of the semester, I told her how I felt. Bad move.

I've never had a friend who was a girl that did the things she did. Oh well. Now she moved and is dating a college football player. Me I've ignored her and got over her, but my Archer side: He says to kick this guy in the nuts if I ever run across him, tea bag him and scream, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"




Amen bro
 

wenis

Registered for GAF on September 11, 2001.
Welp, here's my profile. Any comments are appreciated.

I'll get the boring work stuff out of the way.

It's not boring, you'll be talking about what you do with these women when you meet them. Shit is exciting or interesting to talk about, but it's never boring.

overall the profile is well done. it's personable and it makes the reader want to know more. open up that age gap a bit, don't go crazy, but a couple more years will open up the pool OKC presents and some women lie on their profiles about their ages... seeing that you're ok with women over 27 will make them feel more comfortable about approaching you.

You don't need to fill in every category, but remember that each category that you do fill in is just more opportunity for the reader to get to know you just a bit more, but also be aware that a poorly written section is still poorly written. You may not have a problem with that, but keep it in mind.
 

Plywood

NeoGAF's smiling token!
Based off Devo and wenis' feedback, some stuff kept and other bits changed:



My self-summary:

I'm adventurous, organized and prone to spontaneity. I love discovering new places and trying new things.

What I'm doing with my life:

Constantly self-improving under the guise of self-imprisoned enterprise. I like to exercise daily and I try to read as much books as I can weekly alongside watching at least 1 movie a week. Wherever I go I strive to make the most of the experience. On top of that, I want to travel the world as I have not been out the states.

I'm really good at:

Untangling things, a gift, a curse
Yoga, flexibility is my primary ability
Trying new foods
Making the most out of a day


The first things people usually notice about me:
My hair, Fabio fall back.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music and food:

Books: Mysteries with unsolved murders and a supernatural edge such as Touching Evil. Besides that, fantasies with sellswords and kings like Game of Thrones or Sci-fi with alien warfare and ancient beings like Halo.

Movies: Action, especially the well choreographed kind like Kill Bill. Horror with an eerie atmosphere like Silent Hill. Comedy with clever writing and wit like Easy A. I also enjoy a good drama or thriller.

Shows: I like medical dramas like House M.D. or crime dramas such as Luther. For laughs shows such as Archer, Futurama and Arrested Development could do no wrongs. Besides that some other favorites of mine are Game of Thrones and Battlestar Galactica.

Music: I find that Pop music such as the stylings of Little Boots, Gaga, Lykke Li consume my taste foremost. Next would be Dubstep, the real kind. Not the WUB WUB, artist such as Burial and Clubroot. Then there's Classical as well as a bit of a bunch of other genres such as the acoustic ability of Kaki King, the R&B/Soul fusion of Janelle Monáe, the ethereal vocals of Sigur Ros, or the trip hop with a side of jazz of Nujabes.

Food: I'll eat whatever is on my plate.

Six things I could never do without:

The suns solar rays
A bowl of Capn Crunch
The orange streetlights at night
Banana Muffins
Batman
A world without pizza

I spend a lot of time thinking about:

Stressing the small things and laughing at the big things.

On a typical Friday Night I am:

Not here.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit:

I'm less of a many acquaintances person and more of a few close friends kind.

You should message me if:

You can go to toe with me in the squared circle.
You want a conversation that starts at day and ends at night.
You've been in the danger zone!
 

Leatherface

Member
I met the girl I'm seeing now through OKCupid. We've been together for 6 months now. She's beautiful, intelligent, and has a fantastic personality. We click on every level and she just happens to be the best girl I've ever met in my life (and I've been with my fair share). I went into online dating very hesitant after getting out of a long relationship. My goal was to just go out, meet new people and have fun. I went on probably 6 dates before I met my GF and each one was a great learning experience. It also helped me to build my dating social skills again (which sucked at first haha). Anyway, Online dating isn't what it used to be. If you want to meet someone, get some courage and go for it. You'll be happy you did. Out of all the dating sites out there I would recommend OKCupid far and away above any other. Its free and it's set up like a nice social networking site that is easy to use and kind of addicting to be honest. Give it a shot. Fuck picking chicks up at clubs/bars. Find someone right away with all the qualities you're looking for without going in blind. You may find yourself surprised at the results.

:)
 

wenis

Registered for GAF on September 11, 2001.
Based off Devo and wenis' feedback, some stuff kept and other bits changed:

iXj6xv6dXbotb.jpg



The profile stuff can be hard to fill out. Being sarcastic can come off bad too, right?

depends on how well you can write it. bad sarcasm is of course bad sarcasm, but if you're able to layer it and show that you're only joking without giving away the joke... that's the ticket.
 

ZeroRay

Member
A lot better plywood. Try expanding it just a bit.

The profile stuff can be hard to fill out. Being sarcastic can come off bad too, right?

Try to find a right balance, my first profile was sarcastic as fuck and didn't go over but a little bit sprinkled in with a well written profile should work well.
 
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