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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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depths20XX
Member
Damn dralla, that sounds exactly like some girl who started messaging me on okc a while ago.
Eventually she started talking to me about s&m and way too many personal details about her bipolar and medical conditions. She scared me and I never intended to meet her but she was fun to talk to.
I feel like I've had good luck with the site so far too. I dunno what it is but I've always gotten responses. Currently seeing a girl who is really fun to be with.
@stn
Just don't worry about it. I've had a girl respond 3 days later and we ended up hanging out a lot and having a good time. Some girls are very busy.
Eventually she started talking to me about s&m and way too many personal details about her bipolar and medical conditions. She scared me and I never intended to meet her but she was fun to talk to.
I feel like I've had good luck with the site so far too. I dunno what it is but I've always gotten responses. Currently seeing a girl who is really fun to be with.
@stn
Just don't worry about it. I've had a girl respond 3 days later and we ended up hanging out a lot and having a good time. Some girls are very busy.
Holy shit, 12 texts, and a voice message. This is a little scary.
The fuck?
If I die, so long GAF, it's been fun
damn girl is fuckin clingy
Okay guys, now imagine this, but from 100 guys tryin to message you.
Dice//
Banned
Holy shit, 12 texts, and a voice message. This is a little scary.
The fuck?
If I die, so long GAF, it's been fun
Oh man, she's Stage Five.
Be nice, drop her slowly. They pounce when you give them too much attention or too little.
Charlie McCarthy
Member
Holy shit, 12 texts, and a voice message. This is a little scary.
The fuck?
If I die, so long GAF, it's been fun
That's what we call a Stage 5 brother..Even though she seems like a nut, the dominatrix talk would be enough for me to at least go on one date with her. Just don't let her know where you live.
Bruce Lee Kicks
Member
I did. Immediately got messages and viewers (if that matters), but I feel even more unenthusiastic about this all of a sudden.
David Incorporated Esq.
Member
I just moved to Saginaw, MI for work and... Well okcupid isn't going to do me much good around here.
Quick question,
So I started talking to this girl online, and she's really cool. We've had a really lengthy back and forth on some serious subjects she's interested in, and responses were in the paragraphs.
I decided I wanted to talk to her out of the site, so I asked for her number and got it.
Only, the banter from texting seems really shallow, and I wanna steer it back to the more meaty stuff. What should I do? I was thinking of just messaging her back on the site and going something along the lines of "sorry, but it's a little tedious talking about nontrivial stuff through text" or something.
Haven't done this online thing in almost a year, so I already feel clueless now.
So I started talking to this girl online, and she's really cool. We've had a really lengthy back and forth on some serious subjects she's interested in, and responses were in the paragraphs.
I decided I wanted to talk to her out of the site, so I asked for her number and got it.
Only, the banter from texting seems really shallow, and I wanna steer it back to the more meaty stuff. What should I do? I was thinking of just messaging her back on the site and going something along the lines of "sorry, but it's a little tedious talking about nontrivial stuff through text" or something.
Haven't done this online thing in almost a year, so I already feel clueless now.
Just talk how you were online but in the text, I wouldn't message her back on the site though, the goal is to get them off of there! Maybe try getting Facebook and/or Skype to move things along and then just IM, should get that banter back.
quit texting and meet up in real life.
Well obviously, that's the plan, but I work and am busy, her as well, so I don't wanna say "let's meet up!" when I realistically can't do so for the next few weeks.
electricshake
Member
If you can't meet for weeks this is more than likely going to fizzle out. Texting too much before the first meet is a huge mistake in my experience. Meeting up ASAP is best so you know whether you have any chemistry, even if it's just a quick coffee for an hour. Otherwise you risk wasting your time and hers.
Yea, that was my thinking.
Part of me is like "mehhh whatever" but the other part is saying I shouldn't be so apathetic. Welp, better plan for a lunch break haha.
Perspicacity
Banned
Holy shit, 12 texts, and a voice message. This is a little scary.
The fuck?
If I die, so long GAF, it's been fun
As I recall there was some saying about putting your dick in crazy, I forget how it goes but the jist of it is that you should go for it dude!
Thank God for Google translate. Sent some cute German chick a message in German, and she actually responded. Then I had to confess I couldn't speak German 
But she's still talking to me so maybe this really worked.
edit: Think I got a date with her. So the lesson here is to deceive women into talking to you.
But she's still talking to me so maybe this really worked.edit: Think I got a date with her. So the lesson here is to deceive women into talking to you.
-tetsuo-
Unlimited Capacity
Saw a nice looking girl, messaged her. We met, turns out she looks a lot better in person. Pretty face, grey eyes, great body. She isn't crazy. 4 year degree. 28 years old, no kids. Fun to be around. Been together almost 3 months now.
I got pretty lucky as far as OkC goes.
I got pretty lucky as far as OkC goes.
Good decision. I went out with a super crazy girl once. I made the right decision to bail before banging her. She was the definition of the crazy-hot ratio.
peteykirch
Member
It's so frustrating going though so many profiles, and at the end of the You Should Message Me sections reads this;
It's one thing when the girl is freakishly tall for a girl i.e 5'9+ but when she's 5'1 it's just comes off so shallow.
It's one thing when the girl is freakishly tall for a girl i.e 5'9+ but when she's 5'1 it's just comes off so shallow.
Who cares what it says, message them anyway. Having preferences doesn't make you shallow.
peteykirch
Member
Having a preference on something someone has no control over is a bit shallow.
If I put in my profile "Message me if you have at least a Double D rack" I'd be considered a sexist pig.
How so? You have no control over what you're attracted to. I like girls with dark hair and glasses, does that make me shallow if I found that more attractive than girls with blonde hair and perfect vision? You also have to remember that preferences are not deal breakers.
Same thing with your big boobs example. I'm not sure how that makes you a 'sexist pig'
peteykirch
Member
Because I'm objectifying women on the basis of their endowment.
There's pictures on the site for a reason.... And if you don't think that physical attraction is a big factor in a relationship, you're in for a surprise.
peteykirch
Member
Meh I understand there has to be physical attraction. I just think it's sort of lame to put that up in the open.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
So. My friend let me on her profile for a day.
What is wrong with guys?
What is wrong with guys?
Dice//
Banned
I legitimately think wearing a nice shirt is a damn good idea when you're gonna flirt with someone (so essentially I'm trying to say physical insofar how you look but also what you wear matters a bit too). It drives me nuts when people don't put my time/thought into their wardrobe.
(if you don't agree, chalk that up to the "personal preference" list)
I really want to see what messages girls get. I know it happens, but it's hard for me to imagine some guy sitting there typing out, "hey lol we should fukkkkk," and thinking, "yep, sending this shit out."
Disabled my profile recently, felt it was too much of a slog. Over the last month or two I tried to be more selective with who I sent messages to and got a lot fewer responses than I anticipated...highlights included
1) I asked one girl from my hometown (she was a few years younger than me) if she had read anything by Camus; she was studying French and wanted to translate novels so I thought she'd maybe find him interesting. Got this as a response: "Camus is the worst author in the history of mankind and if every book in existence that he published was engulfed in and destroyed by a large fire, the world would be better for it."
2) Exchanging a few messages with a girl who generally disregarded everything I said and offered nothing in return but then also looked at my profile a couple of times after our last exchange, apparently wondering why I hadn't responded.
3) Numerous situations where the conversation dies; sometimes I get bored and sometimes they get bored. It happens, but one girl agreed to get a drink but then didn't respond after I asked for her number. Boo! Would love to know if I fucked that up somehow in the last message.
I thought I had some initial success when I was sending out messages in droves but I find it a little depressing to have to do that. I want to meet someone but I feel weird throwing myself at anyone that has the potential to be interested.
1) I asked one girl from my hometown (she was a few years younger than me) if she had read anything by Camus; she was studying French and wanted to translate novels so I thought she'd maybe find him interesting. Got this as a response: "Camus is the worst author in the history of mankind and if every book in existence that he published was engulfed in and destroyed by a large fire, the world would be better for it."
2) Exchanging a few messages with a girl who generally disregarded everything I said and offered nothing in return but then also looked at my profile a couple of times after our last exchange, apparently wondering why I hadn't responded.
3) Numerous situations where the conversation dies; sometimes I get bored and sometimes they get bored. It happens, but one girl agreed to get a drink but then didn't respond after I asked for her number. Boo! Would love to know if I fucked that up somehow in the last message.
I thought I had some initial success when I was sending out messages in droves but I find it a little depressing to have to do that. I want to meet someone but I feel weird throwing myself at anyone that has the potential to be interested.
Dice//
Banned
I've heard good things about the dating sites you pay for (maybe those willing to pay are more serious?). A friend and a friend-of-a-friend have both been *very* successful on that front (both going 2+ years now). But do what you gotta do, I'm sure good things will happen... and if not you get some good stories out of it.
She sounds funny. Bet she's a real comedian or master of dark, deadpan humor.
Space-case. Probably has small life ambitions. Move along.
Uh oh, don't make me link the "Why the fuck do girls give their number if they don't wanna go out" topic. But that doesn't sound necessary here.
Bah, don't bother. If there wasn't a "click" it probably wasn't worth the drink money. Someone else out in the world will be able to talk more easily with ya.
Give it time. Use a nice picture of yourself, ask the girl questions when the chat may start running dry.
NOT to brag (it probably will sound like that anyways) but I've dated quite a lot. If you've done it before, you'll find someone else. But you'll also probably face that nasty "dry spell". You look, but nothing clicks and you feel a bit blue for it. But why go out with someone that doesn't "do anything" for you? Wait for it.
As for meeting someone IRL, one of the best ways is at like a friend's house party, you're likely to meet people LIKE your friends.
Charlie McCarthy
Member
I have seen a couple of girls inboxs ...man I was in shock at some of the messages. There were a lot of the "hey" and "hey gorgeous" type, which aren't really that bad but just really lame but there were also quite a few dick pics, lots of messages like the one you wrote above. I remember one saying "I would love to bury my face in those tits!". There are also the guys that type out their whole life story, where they see themselves being in the future and how they see the girl as being part of that future. All in the first message! Next date you get, just ask her to show you. It can be a good icebreaker in a way.
Seeing this made me feel a lot more confident in my simple approach, which is normally a one sentence question or comment of something on their profile. If you can just come across as "not a psycho", you will be better than 80% of the guys messaging them.
Same thing happened to me. Wasn't the end of the world but I wondered why she agreed in the first place and didn't just ignore the message rather than agreeing. But I guess some people get cold feet.
Charlie McCarthy
Member
Could be a lot of things. Just accept it as part of online dating. I never see anything as a "sure thing" until I am face to face talking with her. You become hardened to these things after a while and its stops worrying you.
I don't think any guy that has used online dating as a way to meet women hasn't had this happen to them at some point. Wait until the times when you actually organize a meetup, you turn up, then never hear anything from them ever again.
Yeah didn't matter because I got a date with another girl. Went on three dates together then she never replied to my texts after. That's twice that has happened now. Would prefer it if they text me saying they weren't interested then block my number but I appreciate it can be hard to say it to someone. And a lot of people take rejection badly. I'm enjoying being single though and meeting new people. It can be a lot of fun.
Charlie McCarthy
Member
Yeah with male logic all that makes sense, but women seem to work on a different level when it comes to this stuff (that's not meant as a slight on women but their thought processes are different than ours). Good to see it didn't get to you because it easily can but seeing another girl is the best way to get over it haha...I also agree with you about being single. I feel like I wasted nearly all my 20's in a relationship but now I just love the variety and not letting things ever get too serious.
Yeah I know what you mean. Not in a hurry to get back into a serious relationship. I didn't recognise someone I went to High School with and just messaged her on POF and she messaged back saying don't you remember who I am. She looks really different if its who I think it is.
stn
Member
I went through a doozy recently, guess I'll share my story in case some of you want to comment. Months ago I caught a girl peeping my profile. I sent her a very basic message with no thought, she didn't reply and immediately viewed my profile again. I assumed she wasn't interested, that was the end of it.
Then, I caught her looking at my profile numerous times but never messaging. I have a rule of "only message once" that I've never broken. Until recently (fuck me, learned my lesson). So, I figured maybe she was interested but missed my first message and was/is also too shy to initiate. So, this time I composed a kick-ass message. She gave a very long reply and even furthered the conversation. I then replied. It ended there.
I'm the type that likes to think about these things just for fun. My conclusion is that she was never interested, she just replied because she was too polite. Also, keeps me convinced that a good message rarely matters. I'm pretty sure you can get away with sending shit on a stick if the girl likes your pic (or guy, if you're a girl).
I must admit I was kind of curious as to why she was viewing my profile those times. My picture is big and distinctive, you won't see anything different just from zooming in. Oh well. Sucks, she was really hot.
Thoughts?
Then, I caught her looking at my profile numerous times but never messaging. I have a rule of "only message once" that I've never broken. Until recently (fuck me, learned my lesson). So, I figured maybe she was interested but missed my first message and was/is also too shy to initiate. So, this time I composed a kick-ass message. She gave a very long reply and even furthered the conversation. I then replied. It ended there.
I'm the type that likes to think about these things just for fun. My conclusion is that she was never interested, she just replied because she was too polite. Also, keeps me convinced that a good message rarely matters. I'm pretty sure you can get away with sending shit on a stick if the girl likes your pic (or guy, if you're a girl).
I must admit I was kind of curious as to why she was viewing my profile those times. My picture is big and distinctive, you won't see anything different just from zooming in. Oh well. Sucks, she was really hot.
Thoughts?
I would assume this is the reason. I have clicked on so many women's profile who I have already seen prior but who I have completely forgotten about.
peteykirch
Member
At times I don't know why certain people join dating websites.
It's funny in her profile she comes off so happy and go-lucky. Then we start talking and out comes the frustration and what not.
It's funny in her profile she comes off so happy and go-lucky. Then we start talking and out comes the frustration and what not.
in your profile do you mention that you've been at this for two years and you often feel like you bore girls to the point that they don't want to bother with you?
what's not to say you're coming off the exact same way that you're looking at her
I'm about to jump into this whole online dating experience thing and I'm trying to go in with a super open mind.edit: stupid double post :c
I'll just link to a post that does it, and you can figure it out from there:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=97048136&highlight=quote+for+details#post97048136
I appreciate the help.
Quote to see profile.
Gotta gives props to Dralla for providing a solid outline.
It's certainly a colorful profile. I assume you're targeting nerd girls.. ? I feel like an average girl (someone not accustomed to videogame/japanese culture) might be scared off by a couple of things.
While I do have a preference for the nerdier class of women, I have no issue dating a 'typical' woman. I have noticed I hit it off a lot more with the nerdier women than 'average' ones. But for my profile, I decided to keep my writing honest, which led me to include my geeky tendencies.
Plus I had women, geeky and normal ones, messaged me about my Japanese in the past. So it works.
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