Gray Matter
Member
That's the things, I've Messaged 4 girls since Friday and ZERO replies.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
That's the things, I've Messaged 4 girls since Friday and ZERO replies.
That's less than one per day. You've got to do more than that.
Four messages with zero replies isn't abnormal. And it doesn't reflect poorly on you at all. A girl that's even moderately attractive will receive messages from across the globe. Creates a lot of noise in their inbox.
Around here, we consider a 20% response rate to be good. 10% is far more typical. Probability being probability, it's prone to streaks. One month you send 60, get nothing. Another month you send 10, get 11 responses. Never give up hope, and never take a lack of responses as a measure of your worth.
Gray Matter
Member
Thanks, it's hard sometimes to stay positive. Maybe I should link my profile so you guys and gals could critique and give me some tips.
It's a little weird to think about but it's not too out there. If you had a good father and your bf displays similar traits, subconsciously you're maybe thinking one day he'd make a good father. Or if your dad was a good husband. Or whatever positive light you saw your father in.
I always enjoy reading your first world problems lol.
MonorailCat
Member
well, I pretty much found out why I had no success in Dating the last year.
As a test I left occupation blank the last weeks (instead of my real occupation: student) and suddenly girls started writing me. Not only answering, but texting me first.
Texted with two girls for a few days, and as soon as I mentioned I am still a Student both stopped answering.
I worked for a few years after school and started studying later, so I am older than most students.
So yeah, now I have the choice: Lie and get dates, or be truthful and lonely.
Both options suck.
As a test I left occupation blank the last weeks (instead of my real occupation: student) and suddenly girls started writing me. Not only answering, but texting me first.
Texted with two girls for a few days, and as soon as I mentioned I am still a Student both stopped answering.
I worked for a few years after school and started studying later, so I am older than most students.
So yeah, now I have the choice: Lie and get dates, or be truthful and lonely.
Both options suck.
Gray Matter
Member
Why does option 1 suck?
MonorailCat
Member
It will come out sooner or later. So short time dating only.
But yeah, better than nothing.
electricshake
Member
For OKC at least if you make any changes to your profile you show up higher on search lists etc, so it might be that more women are seeing you rather than they aren't interested in students.
CrimzonSamurai
Member
Has anyone used this new High There! app? It's basically a Tinder app for people who smoke pot. I can't tell if it's meant for dating or just for stoner meet-ups. Or both.
I'm thinking about moving into the online realm, but I'm having trouble picking an app/service. Thought I might try this one because at least it's all people guaranteed to have one similar interest.
I'm thinking about moving into the online realm, but I'm having trouble picking an app/service. Thought I might try this one because at least it's all people guaranteed to have one similar interest.
Yeah, I'll update my profile slightly or usually just answer a question to refresh my profile on that activity page. It actually works. I've noticed an increase in visits and got some matches out of it.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
Some people really can't handle rejection.
I recieved a message on POF yesterday just saying "Nice beard", so I have a look at the girls profile and probably would've replied when I finished work.
Anways FOUR MINUTES go by and I recieve another message from her which I thought was just going to be a longer more thought out message. Well I was totally wrong. This is what she sent me, "How stuck up r u man fuckin hell go take a look in the mirror" and then she blocked me.
I wonder if she asks herself why she's single.
I recieved a message on POF yesterday just saying "Nice beard", so I have a look at the girls profile and probably would've replied when I finished work.
Anways FOUR MINUTES go by and I recieve another message from her which I thought was just going to be a longer more thought out message. Well I was totally wrong. This is what she sent me, "How stuck up r u man fuckin hell go take a look in the mirror" and then she blocked me.
I wonder if she asks herself why she's single.
Gray Matter
Member
She probably does all the time.
I think college aged folks are more inclined to Tinder? Of course, High There's always an option if smoking is high on your list for a potential date... since people aren't very likely to say 'smoking pot' on their profile page (...actually, I'm just making an assumption there, I'm not sure if people do or not lol).
I don't know if I can help, but shoot me a PM if you want
EDIT: Oh wait, you said PM you. Well, I'll do that then
CrimzonSamurai
Member
I know some places the code is to put 420F in your profile, but I think there's also a general consensus among people who smoke and manage to lead functional lives (mostly) that that's a little immature. And yeah, looking for something more substantial than you usually get through Tinder, I'm a few years out of college. I've dated girls who don't smoke, and it can be fine, but it has also turned into a constant wedge issue when you're having arguments about anything else. So, I feel like an app dedicated for that demographic would just let us get that question out of the way. It's not really something you can get out of the way on the first date comfortably. Anyway, thanks for the advice!
420F? Really? So obvious lol. I wouldn't mind if someone I dated smoked, but if I saw that on a guy's profile I'd roll my eyes and move on the next one, lol.
I myself am gonna try OKCupid in the next week or so because (I think?) it draws a bit of an older crowd (I'm in my mid twenties, so I at least want someone that can go to the bar with me, haha), I'll let you know if that's actually true when I get my new phone.
But yeah, tangent aside, you might as well try High Enough! if it's free! Let me know how it goes--I have a single friend who would probably love that app if it's any good ;D
Food for thought: On this week's episode on the Giant Bombcast, Dan Ryckert said he does not like Tinder because it's "a Hot or Not thing" where it's all about just looks but likes OkCupid that he actively uses it because you get to go through a person's profile, find out if they're funny, interesting, etc.
He said that he went on several Tinder dates on it and wasn't feeling the girls whereas the dates he went on OKC where much better so he uses that actively and uninstalled it. A guy was asking what he should say on Tinder as a first message but Ryckert said that there isn't much to go on in the first place considering how sparse profiles are. Nothing new but still fascinating nonetheless. Funny thing is that Dan has used OKC to troll guys with a fake account.
In other news, I found an excuse to uninstall Tinder: splurged on some art supplies earlier and said decided to throw in the towel so I'm out of the online dating scene until June. Going to try my hand at meeting girls in events that I volunteer at such as one that's coming up this weekend and grow out a beard. After being 4 months out of college, it's kind of hard to meet women if it's not online, but at the same time, it's pretty easy if it's at events relevant to my interests. I'll still continue to be a cheerleader and offer my two cents on things.
I find it funny that there's a dating app for stoners but then again, it's no surprising at all since there's all kinds of dating apps catering to all sorts of niche groups these days. I bet it must have boat loads of artist/creative types. It reminds me of the UK's Shag A Gamer online dating service (does it still even exist?).
He said that he went on several Tinder dates on it and wasn't feeling the girls whereas the dates he went on OKC where much better so he uses that actively and uninstalled it. A guy was asking what he should say on Tinder as a first message but Ryckert said that there isn't much to go on in the first place considering how sparse profiles are. Nothing new but still fascinating nonetheless. Funny thing is that Dan has used OKC to troll guys with a fake account.
In other news, I found an excuse to uninstall Tinder: splurged on some art supplies earlier and said decided to throw in the towel so I'm out of the online dating scene until June. Going to try my hand at meeting girls in events that I volunteer at such as one that's coming up this weekend and grow out a beard. After being 4 months out of college, it's kind of hard to meet women if it's not online, but at the same time, it's pretty easy if it's at events relevant to my interests. I'll still continue to be a cheerleader and offer my two cents on things.
I find it funny that there's a dating app for stoners but then again, it's no surprising at all since there's all kinds of dating apps catering to all sorts of niche groups these days. I bet it must have boat loads of artist/creative types. It reminds me of the UK's Shag A Gamer online dating service (does it still even exist?).
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
for some reason OKcupid is showing me dudes. are they just setting their sex as female or is OKCupid going crazy
im getting some replies from one girl, but i dont know if im too quick in asking if she wants to meet up. she seems to be more "looking for friends first" sort of thing, so i dont know how likely anything is to progress in a "dating" direction. she seems cool enough, and she probably hasn't seen chappie yet.
im getting some replies from one girl, but i dont know if im too quick in asking if she wants to meet up. she seems to be more "looking for friends first" sort of thing, so i dont know how likely anything is to progress in a "dating" direction. she seems cool enough, and she probably hasn't seen chappie yet.
Been an off week for me. A rough week actually. Last week I was feeling myself hard too. Working Friday, and Saturday night but even if I wasn't I probably would have no date. Anyway, two things got my pretty bummed out.
The girl I meet, and hooked up with on Friday didn't reply back when I asked if I could see her again. It makes me feel unattractive. I know I do well on Tinder, and whatever but I've always had serve confidence issues and stuff like this just makes me feel unattractive. It could have been she thought my D game was fraudulent, but I put it in work. I know she was looking for a consistent thing, because she told me as much. She said the last person she met they had a consistent thing for a bit, but he was didn't know how to keep the dominate thing to the bedroom.
As for the other thing, I posted this earlier.
Some drama also happened today, which was kinda lame. So I actually have been talking to a girl for a few months and we've hung a few times but she's always super busy. Anyway I somehow matched with one her best friends and was baited into asking her on a date, sorta. it's bullshit though because I had no idea she felt that way about me. In fact, I would have been down for something serious but I thought she wanted something more casual. I don't care that I was set up or whatever, but I do wish she would have been more open about her feelings. She was pretty mad tho.
So now, she's pretty much not replying. Really no reason to even be made at me. Not a good week with the ladies.
The girl I meet, and hooked up with on Friday didn't reply back when I asked if I could see her again. It makes me feel unattractive. I know I do well on Tinder, and whatever but I've always had serve confidence issues and stuff like this just makes me feel unattractive. It could have been she thought my D game was fraudulent, but I put it in work. I know she was looking for a consistent thing, because she told me as much. She said the last person she met they had a consistent thing for a bit, but he was didn't know how to keep the dominate thing to the bedroom.
As for the other thing, I posted this earlier.
Some drama also happened today, which was kinda lame. So I actually have been talking to a girl for a few months and we've hung a few times but she's always super busy. Anyway I somehow matched with one her best friends and was baited into asking her on a date, sorta. it's bullshit though because I had no idea she felt that way about me. In fact, I would have been down for something serious but I thought she wanted something more casual. I don't care that I was set up or whatever, but I do wish she would have been more open about her feelings. She was pretty mad tho.
So now, she's pretty much not replying. Really no reason to even be made at me. Not a good week with the ladies.
User 479360
Banned
Despite having low self-esteem and not thinking of myself as being attractive due to my weight and hairiness, I've been having some luck in getting replies from women on different apps and sites.
I'm still talking to the one who's at school and is coming home soon. She keeps messaging me every two or three days, and we have a good conversation going. I also found out she'll be graduating soon, and she's already agreed to a date. So, here's hoping.
The thirty-five year-old still messages me from time to time, and when I was bored and horny last night, I did ask her if she'd pick me up after her hockey game to watch a movie and maybe fool around. She had previously told me she almost fell asleep while driving home from work, so I expected the reply I got: That she was too tired to watch a movie. That said, I don't really feel relationship chemistry with her. My mind and a friend keep thinking something is better than nothing, but I don't know if that's really true or fair.
As I probably said, the girl who moved cross country just wants friends right now. She said she wants to work on herself (her weight, I think) before she tries to undertake anything else. I asked if that was just her being nice, but she said no, it's not like that. I'm still unsure, but she wants to be friends and hang out so that's at least something.
Another girl who's four hours away at school and graduating soon has been talking to me since we met on Tindr over a month ago. She's really cool, and is from here, but isn't sure where applications for work will take her. She's going to move to it. There's potential there, though, and I like her.
My friend also suggested MeetMe, but there's a lot of conceit on there and it's been tough to get conversations going. Not a lot of people use it, either. The women there keep getting tons of disgusting questions from guys and aren't too keen on talking to me, a nice guy. It's fucked.
Lastly, I read about Xpress on an online dating review website. It was ranked as the best. However, when I joined it, it came across as a buggy place where people set up affairs. A lot of the profiles read like sex workers'. "I want to fuck on my car," usernames with XXX, etc.
I tried deleting my account but haven't had any luck. I have received some looks and an instant message, though I think I need to pay to send any back. I don't know if the accounts are real, nor do I have a picture on mine or my name. I don't know what to do.
I emailed Xpress and asked them to delete my account, but I got a delivery issue notification.
PS. I have a date tomorrow with the gamer girl, but I don't know if we'll be a good match. We're going to have dinner, I think. She doesn't text a lot so she's hard to read.
Even then, I'm starting to get really depressed about my bad luck and how woman will only talk to me for a bit then move on and ignore me. It's happened quite a bit. So, my depression and suicidal thoughts have gotten worse.
I'm still talking to the one who's at school and is coming home soon. She keeps messaging me every two or three days, and we have a good conversation going. I also found out she'll be graduating soon, and she's already agreed to a date. So, here's hoping.
The thirty-five year-old still messages me from time to time, and when I was bored and horny last night, I did ask her if she'd pick me up after her hockey game to watch a movie and maybe fool around. She had previously told me she almost fell asleep while driving home from work, so I expected the reply I got: That she was too tired to watch a movie. That said, I don't really feel relationship chemistry with her. My mind and a friend keep thinking something is better than nothing, but I don't know if that's really true or fair.
As I probably said, the girl who moved cross country just wants friends right now. She said she wants to work on herself (her weight, I think) before she tries to undertake anything else. I asked if that was just her being nice, but she said no, it's not like that. I'm still unsure, but she wants to be friends and hang out so that's at least something.
Another girl who's four hours away at school and graduating soon has been talking to me since we met on Tindr over a month ago. She's really cool, and is from here, but isn't sure where applications for work will take her. She's going to move to it. There's potential there, though, and I like her.
My friend also suggested MeetMe, but there's a lot of conceit on there and it's been tough to get conversations going. Not a lot of people use it, either. The women there keep getting tons of disgusting questions from guys and aren't too keen on talking to me, a nice guy. It's fucked.
Lastly, I read about Xpress on an online dating review website. It was ranked as the best. However, when I joined it, it came across as a buggy place where people set up affairs. A lot of the profiles read like sex workers'. "I want to fuck on my car," usernames with XXX, etc.
I tried deleting my account but haven't had any luck. I have received some looks and an instant message, though I think I need to pay to send any back. I don't know if the accounts are real, nor do I have a picture on mine or my name. I don't know what to do.
I emailed Xpress and asked them to delete my account, but I got a delivery issue notification.
PS. I have a date tomorrow with the gamer girl, but I don't know if we'll be a good match. We're going to have dinner, I think. She doesn't text a lot so she's hard to read.
Even then, I'm starting to get really depressed about my bad luck and how woman will only talk to me for a bit then move on and ignore me. It's happened quite a bit. So, my depression and suicidal thoughts have gotten worse.
Mexican Sting
Member
Whoa, there, buddy. Keep ya head up! It's not just you that that happens to... it's just how dating works. You meet a ton of people until you finally vibe with someone. It's not a reflection on anything wrong with you, it's just human nature. If it were easy to find one person to jive with, it wouldn't be as special. At the very least: It's good that you're putting yourself out there. A lot of people don't even have the gusto for that. To you I say "kudos!"
And from reading your post, it sounds like you're not actually doing too bad out there. I myself am getting almost zero activity! But I've also kind of stopped caring or putting any effort forth.
Good luck on your date tomorrow! Just be yourself.
User 479360
Banned
Thanks, sir. I'm trying. It's just been a rough couple of days.
Big Papa Husker
Member
I just took a look at Hinge and was wondering if there is anyway to stop it from pulling 25 photos? It seems to just be pulling random crap from my timeline. I was hoping it was like CMB where you just make an album for photos you want to use.
Gray Matter
Member
That's it, I give up. I send messages and get ZERO replies. And I don't get any visitors either.
BIGWORM
Member
Gray Matter
Member
At least 6 the last 2 days.
Dude...that is next to nothing in the online dating world. I would consider six an hour to be low (the time you are on the site I mean).
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
You should be sending 20 a day if you want to get a response. Sending 3 a day isn't going to make a dent at all.
I personally don't send they many myself anymore, but I'm taking a more casual approach to the whole thing instead of just giving up full stop.
You should also try out other sites or apps. Tinder, coffee meets bagel, plenty of fish, okcupid, etc.
Dude, you have a lot to learn about developing a thick skin for online dating. 3 messages a day is nothing. Try 20 a day like davepoobond said and if they don't reply, try messaging them a second time a few days later.
Quick Match liking a crap ton of pictures helps. You should be trying to meet girls in person as well, not just online.
BIGWORM
Member
Seriously, I got a copy-paste opener that I've used since week 1. Tells a little about me, my family situation (got kids), my interests, and being straight forward. I'll, of course, read their profile, and make reply towards their interests as well. It's been pretty successful, thus far.
Probably have a date tonight, seeing what's up with two girls. Kinda hype, been minute. I just wanna get drunk, and well.. I think I'm addicted to this though. Not a bad way to spend my free time I guess.
Also the girl I hooked up with, but didn't reply back liked a moment a posted. First moment she liked, should I write to her again? I think it might be the beard.
Also the girl I hooked up with, but didn't reply back liked a moment a posted. First moment she liked, should I write to her again? I think it might be the beard.
Troubled Bat
Member
Gray Matter
Member
Why did he get banned?
Troubled Bat
Member
I'm not even sure. I just discovered it at that moment. Hopefully just a temporary.
Looking at his post history, looks like it might have been an argument in BritGAF?
And good luck, Lulubop!
And sure, write to her again, you might as well.Girl who I was talking to in mid-Feb visited my OKC profile today. Stopped talking with her since I started meeting another girl I had been messaging longer, things got physical quick, and I was raised too Catholic to be able to court two girls at the same time. Sent her a message, apologized for disappearing, asked what she was up to. Figure why not, what have I got to lose?
Really looking forward to this summer. I'll finally have all the pieces put together...confidence in myself, a sense of style, a healthy body, ability to go out Friday nights...and I'll be running a 5k, going to Disney World, and going skydiving. Should make for some awesome online dating pics.
Really looking forward to this summer. I'll finally have all the pieces put together...confidence in myself, a sense of style, a healthy body, ability to go out Friday nights...and I'll be running a 5k, going to Disney World, and going skydiving. Should make for some awesome online dating pics.
Sounds good. Don't commit to any one. Just go on hella dates, and have fun. Summer looking good for me too, especially if this apt thing comes together
Haven't been dating for about 6ish months due to just being uninterested.
But every month or so I've been downloading tinder just to scroll through to kill time and when I match with someone - deleting them immediately.
About a month ago I was doing that and started talking to a woman, but then just deleted the app again about an hour later.
This weekend I redownloaded and we matched again - she confronted me about deleting her last time and I felt bad so I agreed to go out on a date with her.
We had a nice time, but I'm just so jaded by the disposability of internet relationships. I agreed to see her again but I'm worried I'm not in a great headspace. Regardless I'll give it a go and see what happens - but I find the more I've been dating the more I'm looking at a person's incompatibilities in regard to a long-term relationship right off the bat.
Not really sure I have anything to discuss but I felt like typing this out haha.
But every month or so I've been downloading tinder just to scroll through to kill time and when I match with someone - deleting them immediately.
About a month ago I was doing that and started talking to a woman, but then just deleted the app again about an hour later.
This weekend I redownloaded and we matched again - she confronted me about deleting her last time and I felt bad so I agreed to go out on a date with her.
We had a nice time, but I'm just so jaded by the disposability of internet relationships. I agreed to see her again but I'm worried I'm not in a great headspace. Regardless I'll give it a go and see what happens - but I find the more I've been dating the more I'm looking at a person's incompatibilities in regard to a long-term relationship right off the bat.
Not really sure I have anything to discuss but I felt like typing this out haha.
electricshake
Member
You don't like the disposability of internet relationships yet you aren't giving anyone a chance before disposing of them. If you want something serious why not state that in your profile? There's no point in forcing something that's not there but equally if you don't try you're unlikely to meet anyone. Why not wait until your head's in a better place?
Was kinda hammered when I wrote that last post. Didn't get a date for last night, but I have two for Wed and Thurs. One of them is a gorgeous Ukrainian girl going to NYU, the other has only been here for six or so months. Both said there drink of choice is Wine, which I'm not a fan of.
Other than That I need a good OKC name.
Other than That I need a good OKC name.
Take notes on what she had on her profile.
User 479360
Banned
Cross-posted:
I just got back from my date, which I believe I mentioned was postponed because her friend was really sick and she wanted to be there for her yesterday.
We went to a restaurant near her place, which is popular in this area and about 20 minutes from me, and it was really good. She said she was worried about being shy and figured I would be quiet, so she took a couple of shots beforehand, haha. We had really good conversation going, though.
I paid for the meal, which was $34 after tip. She asked via text (earlier in the day) if she should bring her purse or wallet, and I said no. I asked if we could go there or somewhere else, because the buffet was so outrageously priced and she agreed.
During the date, she mentioned coming out to spend the day in my hometown some Saturday when she's off and going for Chinese food as there's a place her dad worked at here and she loves it too. It's conveniently my favourite. But we also talked about going elsewhere.
She seems interested in me, said it was a great date and that she had a good time. We talked for a while in her driveway, and laughed. I asked how often she would be available if we dated, and she said a couple of days a week at least, which is good for now. She also seems really caring.
I mentioned my fear of spiders, because I brought up my gaming room in the basement (we're both gamers). I guess she killed the spiders in her basement apartment then got centipedes which scared her, so she leaves the spiders. I'm not allowed to kill them unless they threaten me, lol. But it's good she wants me to come in.
She does have an intense personality like she warned me about, so she can go from quiet to loud, but it's something I could get used to. I'm just not used to that.
I just got back from my date, which I believe I mentioned was postponed because her friend was really sick and she wanted to be there for her yesterday.
We went to a restaurant near her place, which is popular in this area and about 20 minutes from me, and it was really good. She said she was worried about being shy and figured I would be quiet, so she took a couple of shots beforehand, haha. We had really good conversation going, though.
I paid for the meal, which was $34 after tip. She asked via text (earlier in the day) if she should bring her purse or wallet, and I said no. I asked if we could go there or somewhere else, because the buffet was so outrageously priced and she agreed.
During the date, she mentioned coming out to spend the day in my hometown some Saturday when she's off and going for Chinese food as there's a place her dad worked at here and she loves it too. It's conveniently my favourite. But we also talked about going elsewhere.
She seems interested in me, said it was a great date and that she had a good time. We talked for a while in her driveway, and laughed. I asked how often she would be available if we dated, and she said a couple of days a week at least, which is good for now. She also seems really caring.
I mentioned my fear of spiders, because I brought up my gaming room in the basement (we're both gamers). I guess she killed the spiders in her basement apartment then got centipedes which scared her, so she leaves the spiders. I'm not allowed to kill them unless they threaten me, lol. But it's good she wants me to come in.
She does have an intense personality like she warned me about, so she can go from quiet to loud, but it's something I could get used to. I'm just not used to that.
Gray Matter
Member
She sounds great, hope all goes well.
User 479360
Banned
Yeah, she's really cool
And thanks, good sir
I sent her a text when I got home, thanking her for a good date. I told her she looked nice tonight, and that I didn't mean to be rude when I said I'd get used to her louder personality. It's just that I'm not used to it, though I think it's cute. She replied happily.
Gray Matter
Member
I once had a crush on girl who also had a loud personality, she talked loud, laughed loud etc. That's what made me like her, I was in high school at the time and too scared upon it. A few years later I found out she also liked me, but we both had moved on.
User 479360
Banned
That's too bad. Sorry to hear that.
I'm pretty sure that this girl likes me, because she was flirtacious and laughing. She also talked a lot. She wouldn't have sat in the vehicle for so long, too, if it weren't for that or said what she did.
I'm always curious to get the female perspective on sites like PoF, because I hear horror stories about how they're always sent messages asking if they'd like to go to bed and whatnot. Constantly being asked for sex. So, I asked her if she'd gotten many messages since she'd told me that she was excited for our date and hadn't been on one for a while.
What she replied with was expected: "Want to fuck?" That sums up most of them. However, I pushed a bit further and asked out of curiosity, if she'd ever received many nice messages. She said a couple, but that they didn't have anything in common. That's another pro for me.
Something came up, and I jokingly called her player 2. She laughed, and said that it gives her an excuse to buy some NES-themed bedspread that says, "We're two-playing" or something on it.
EDIT: I forgot to mention one of the most indicative things she said, which came out during dinner when I asked her if she'd like to do something afterwards. Her answer was, "Not tonight. Going into Toronto for my appointment was quite taxing. You've charmed me and earned a second date, though, so you have that going for you!"