ElectricBlanketFire
Member
The point is to make this behavior known.
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People posting "me too" on social media if they've been sexually harassed/assaulted
- Thread starter ElectricBlanketFire
- Start date
The point is to make this behavior known.
Rhomega Beta
Member
Oh, I thought my friend made a post when she wanted to make a comment.
Apple Turnover
Banned
Some of the ones I saw on my timeline surprised me. Really is more epidemic than we like to think it is.
And as a dude, I unfortunately have to add my voice to the chorus with my own "me too"
And as a dude, I unfortunately have to add my voice to the chorus with my own "me too"
This is true, to an extent. Anyone can be a creep ... But it's magnitudes more prevalent that it is men committing the harassment.
Earthbound64
Banned
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Count Dookkake
Member
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Demoskinos
Member
I will not and can never understand how people think its okay to just come up to someone and put their hands on them without getting any sort of consent first. Jesus christ.
Ninja Scooter
Member
It legit wouldn't surprise me at all if an overwhelming majority of women have faced at least some form of sexual harassment in their life time. Most cultures are still incredibly toxic towards that sort of thing.
Fucking hell. I'm so sorry.
UnemployedVillain
Member
I don't think that's the most appropriate way to describe someone who admitted to being sexually harassed/assaulted on multiple occasions...especially when he wasn't, in any way, downplaying the prevalence of the problem with regards to women or trying to claim that it happens to men just as frequently
dreamcastmaster
Banned
I'm a man, it's happened to me from at least 2 men. I'm not even gay but they thought they would take a shot at me.
Edit: I feel better sharing this because if Terry Crews of all people can tell his story then I know as a man I'm not alone.
Edit: I feel better sharing this because if Terry Crews of all people can tell his story then I know as a man I'm not alone.
tkscz
Member
I never liked this form of thinking. Not the retrospective, but telling men they should thinking about their bad choices but not women. I did see you pointed out that women aren't immune to this behavior, but when you follow it by but, it feels like you are basically going "Yes women do it, but only men should feel guilty and do something about it".
A friend of mine is telling me to post Metoo, but I don't want my family to find out about what happened to me.
Earthbound64
Banned
Fair enough, comment redacted.
Yeah, that happened with my sisters, mutliple times already. In fact, it also happened while I was walking towards my car from a concert with a friend of mine. A group of drunk guys following us and yelling "Show us your tits" to her. That is definitely not uncommon, and several of my friends don't want to go around alone anymore. And to think that it could even get worse. Two friends of mine (one male, one female) got these rape drugs in their drinks but luckily some other friends were there who got them out before anything bad could happen.
My intention isn't to say that this is a men-only problem. But I think trying to remove the male side of the issue lets too many dudes off the hook. I've found that, whenever you make a problem more general and "a problem we all have," people kinda tune out the message. Maybe you've had different experiences, but it's held true for me.
And I'm focusing on men because, while sexual assault and harassment by women obviously happens, rape culture is mostly held up by systemic misogyny. Systemic misandry, as far as I'm aware, doesn't exist.
That's why most of my post is about introspection. It's not about guilt. People feeling guilty isn't going to do shit if they don't actually identify and change their behavior. So I'm not trying to lash punishment on my fellow men. I just think we can all benefit from inspecting past awkward moments with women and thinking about how our behavior or comments might have perpetuated sexual harassment/assault (you'd think the assault part would be pretty black and white, and yet many rapists don't see themselves as such). Once we identify a pattern, we can correct it.
As far as you disclosing your own experience, I think it should be your choice and your choice alone. Don't feel pressure if you're not ready, and I hope you know that support exists if you need it.
Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew
Banned
I think the lasting influence is the biggest issue with me. Recently a random girl called my company trying to "get a quote", but talking to her further, my business partner realized she was more interested in talking to me instead.
She told my business partner that she found out I have depression and that she doesn't want me to jump off the edge, and that he give her my personal phone number so she can talk to me. I truly appreciate that person even though I didn't personally talk to her. It's a very touchy subject to me (my past and my anxiety/depression when fighting the past), and I'm very anxiety-filled when people talk about my depression. However, knowing that there are people out there who care is a wonderful feeling.
As stalker-ish as this was, it's better that there are people who want to talk and understand, rather than folks laughing it off and asking me to man up.
I did lie though; my business partner asked me if I have depression, I laughed it off and said "Do I look like I have depression? I'm living the life!"; I just do not want people to look at me any different than they do right now. I don't need sympathy, I just need peace and self-actualization.
This...is basically my experience. I'm sorry it happened to you too.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
Damn, thanks for the explanation...saw a friend post it without any context and people replying with the crying emoji and wondering what was up.
I guess I qualify as I've had a dude whip out his dick at a bar and yell at me to "bend over on the bar".
In a way I'm glad that happened because it's given me a better perspective on what women have to deal with far more than me, but it was pretty terrifying. Especially as I walk home from the bar about 15 minutes or so at night, and I was legit scared for once he was going to follow me.
I guess I qualify as I've had a dude whip out his dick at a bar and yell at me to "bend over on the bar".
In a way I'm glad that happened because it's given me a better perspective on what women have to deal with far more than me, but it was pretty terrifying. Especially as I walk home from the bar about 15 minutes or so at night, and I was legit scared for once he was going to follow me.
ClosingADoor
Member
The amount of stories women post about being assaulted - and even at extremely young ages - is truly terrifying. It doesn't surprise me anymore though, I remember a similar hash tag from a few years back that helped open my eyes to this issue. I hope it does the same for a lot of people now in seeing how this stuff happens everywhere.
We truly need some systematic change around this. Although I have no idea on how to go about it. Feels like there is little you can do about it yourself, except listen when someone shares their story and give support if you can. And even then, if friends talk to you about this sometimes, there is so little you can do. Me going to their work to punch an asshole in the face for harassing someone isn't going to solve it also.
We truly need some systematic change around this. Although I have no idea on how to go about it. Feels like there is little you can do about it yourself, except listen when someone shares their story and give support if you can. And even then, if friends talk to you about this sometimes, there is so little you can do. Me going to their work to punch an asshole in the face for harassing someone isn't going to solve it also.
Violence Jack
Member
I've been reading some of the stories my friends have posted, but I don't feel comfortable sharing on FB for some reason. Already seen some posts from others telling their "friends" to shut up and how no one cares what they went through.
I remember having to wait until my grandmother was dead before I could tell my mom and uncle all the horrible shit she did to me and made me keep quiet about for the first 10 years of my life. It took everything I had not to start laughing during her funeral because I wanted to support my family during their grieving.
Sexual abuse is also why I refuse to ever go back into a church unless it's for a wedding or funeral for the rest of my life. It's a horrifying experience to have those who teach and supposedly live by the word of God, then suddenly have no issue fondling a little kid bawling their eyes out during a camping trip in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. I got kicked out of the church when I threatened to cut his nuts off for doing that.
I remember having to wait until my grandmother was dead before I could tell my mom and uncle all the horrible shit she did to me and made me keep quiet about for the first 10 years of my life. It took everything I had not to start laughing during her funeral because I wanted to support my family during their grieving.
Sexual abuse is also why I refuse to ever go back into a church unless it's for a wedding or funeral for the rest of my life. It's a horrifying experience to have those who teach and supposedly live by the word of God, then suddenly have no issue fondling a little kid bawling their eyes out during a camping trip in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. I got kicked out of the church when I threatened to cut his nuts off for doing that.
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Of course.
Count Dookkake
Member
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ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Wat.
Dandy Lyin
Member
Me too.
I was 18, newly out of the closet, very insecure/shy, and the director of admissions at the private college I got accepted to sexually harassed/assaultrf me on the 2nd day of school. He called me into his office to discuss my student loan. After confirming I was gay(he had a clue based on my portfolio and my mannerisms) by asking me all sorts of questions and inventing a scenario where a gay student had applied to the school but was looking for an accepting roommate to live with... This person did not exist, btw. I confirmed it with the administration of the school after the fact.
He then tried to pressure me into having sex with him and his partner(he was 55-60+), had his hand on my leg, then stood next to me and pressed his dick against me. He told me that in the artistic community, this sort of thing was very common, and that I should enjoy myself.
Then he started kissing me, and tried to jerk me off through my clothes.I didn't know how to react. I felt paralyzed, and acted very submissive, just let him do whatever, and waited for it to end. I said anything I could to get out of that room. I then had to meet my parents at a cafe and sit there while they asked how school was going. I felt so ashamed, and couldn't tell them because they were still hoping my gayness was a phase, and I didn't want them to think that this is what being gay was all about.
When I got dropped off at my apartment I had a meltdown. Thankfully I lived with a lesbian couple who knew exactly what to do. They called the school, went to a meeting with 2 of the staff members with me where I made a statement, and then the guy "retired" the next day.
I was 18, newly out of the closet, very insecure/shy, and the director of admissions at the private college I got accepted to sexually harassed/assaultrf me on the 2nd day of school. He called me into his office to discuss my student loan. After confirming I was gay(he had a clue based on my portfolio and my mannerisms) by asking me all sorts of questions and inventing a scenario where a gay student had applied to the school but was looking for an accepting roommate to live with... This person did not exist, btw. I confirmed it with the administration of the school after the fact.
He then tried to pressure me into having sex with him and his partner(he was 55-60+), had his hand on my leg, then stood next to me and pressed his dick against me. He told me that in the artistic community, this sort of thing was very common, and that I should enjoy myself.
Then he started kissing me, and tried to jerk me off through my clothes.I didn't know how to react. I felt paralyzed, and acted very submissive, just let him do whatever, and waited for it to end. I said anything I could to get out of that room. I then had to meet my parents at a cafe and sit there while they asked how school was going. I felt so ashamed, and couldn't tell them because they were still hoping my gayness was a phase, and I didn't want them to think that this is what being gay was all about.
When I got dropped off at my apartment I had a meltdown. Thankfully I lived with a lesbian couple who knew exactly what to do. They called the school, went to a meeting with 2 of the staff members with me where I made a statement, and then the guy "retired" the next day.
Sarcasm.
Messofanego
Banned
Yeah. I already have.
TheOctodad
Member
I'm actually surprised when someone HASN'T ever experienced it.
Maybe I shouldn't be, but some of the industries I worked in in high school/college, I don't think there was any avoiding it (restaurants, bars, etc.). It sucks and it shouldn't be that way, but I'm just shocked statistically at how few people seem to be admitting to it.
Maybe I shouldn't be, but some of the industries I worked in in high school/college, I don't think there was any avoiding it (restaurants, bars, etc.). It sucks and it shouldn't be that way, but I'm just shocked statistically at how few people seem to be admitting to it.
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
#metoo
Never had work though, at least.
Never had work though, at least.
That's horrible and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That man didn't deserve "retirement" but prison.
I mean to be honest its my assumption that pretty much every woman has been sexually harassed at least once. I dont know a woman in my life who hasnt been sexually harassed at some point. My wife is a redhead (pervert magnet) and when she was commuting to NYC for a year, she was harassed on a daily basis at some point during the 2 hour commute. (You have such beautiful red hair Your hair is so beautiful, it goes so well with your brown eyes, etc. Just non stop from weird dudes while she would be standing or sitting w/ headphones in or her head in a book)
Anyone shocked to see so many women saying theyve been sexually harassed either hasnt spoken about the topic with women in their lives or theyre just ignorant to the situation.
Dandy Lyin
Member
Thank you!That's horrible and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That man didn't deserve "retirement" but prison.
The worst part is that 5 years later I ran into someone I had a gone to school with. She told me that one of the instructors at the school had left and started his own school, and had hired that predator. She had stayed in touch with the instructor and told him what the guy had done to me... He said he knew about the allegations but said that he didn't believe me and that he had been told that I had daddy issues... Alex(the predator) had told him that my dad was always on the road and never bothered with me, so I had made it up for attention. This was a total fabrication, but it had been enough for the instructor to dismiss what had happened.
I also found out he had asked another male student the same sort of questions he'd asked, told him about the made-up gay student, etc... But that guy was very straight and not a pushover like me, and shut him down before it went anywhere... But this guy was had his MO, and obviously I was not his first target.
KojiKnight
Member
As a male, me too. It's disgusting what people in any sort of position of power can get away with, especially to children.
My wife was as well, she had to give a deposition against a former manager at a restaurant she worked at back in the college days. He was an ass-grabber and tried to give the women shoulder massages. When she was a teen, she worked at a pool in the concession area, the uniform was white shirts and shorts the guys thought it would be fun to throw the girls in the water so their clothes would become see-thru, that manager got fired as well.
Earthbound64
Banned
I suspect that even for many of the people who say/think they haven't, they really have - they just either don't consider it to have been sexual harassment, or otherwise justify or excuse it.
Pai Pai Master
Banned
I'm kinda wary of sharing because the original push was stated to be for women to be heard so I didn't want to step on any toes, and because I'm not comfortable talking about my own experiences in detail. But either way I'm grateful so many are speaking out and people are seeing how commonplace abuse is in our society. This can't be brushed under the rug any more.
I long for a world where would-be harassers and assaulters actually have to fear the consequences of acting out. We will get there when we stand together like this.
I long for a world where would-be harassers and assaulters actually have to fear the consequences of acting out. We will get there when we stand together like this.
Rhomega Beta
Member
No one's harassed or assaulted me.