Can you post some of your art? Surely you made some influenced by this relationship.
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Starting over
- Thread starter SirIgbyCeaser
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Can you post some of your art? Surely you made some influenced by this relationship.
Oh, so you not only called her multiple times after she told you to stop contacting her but you sent her around 15 emails? This may not be (´・ω・`) level of harassment, but that's still pretty damn bad man. Over a 4 month relationship no less. I think you have to realize that it is YOU who fucked up and brought this on yourself, not her. The fact that you say you wanted to marry a girl whom you were only in a 4 month relationship with is very telling. At least now maybe you can take that 1 year deportation and think about why what you did was wrong.
And this was a months period of continuous harassment? Fucking shit dude, do you not see what is wrong with what you did?
I'm actually beginning to wonder if that 4 months includes that 1 month of harassment as well....
So she's the crazy one and you weren't stalking her just giving her a lot of unwanted attention for one month? I've had friends who have been stalked and almost every time the stalker didn't think they were stalking. Sorry to judge but there's a lot of drama in what you wrote and it doesn't reflect well on you.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
It should have never come to that.
How about conflict resolution. Put these two people in a room to talk to each other.
Instead of forcing a separation with the law. I did not want to start over. I hate where I am. I'd like my life back. But that's not happening.
That's the injustice of it.
Please no. OP obviously is lying about something. Canadian Immigration is pretty soft, I find it hard to believe that the deported him over nothing. Toronto has enough social problems, we don't need any "beat poets".
This whole thing has been about you. Want you wanted. How you felt. Let it go man. She didn't want you anymore. Move on with your life.
Seems to me there's some emotional stuff going on mate that you should really try and get some help for.
And that relates both to how you handled this relationship/break-up and the depression you got as a result from that and having to start over.
At any rate, your story regarding your ex makes you come of as excessively needy, it shouldn't be near as hard to say goodbye to someone you've only be dating for 4 months. Normally one would get angry, go on a drinking spree for a night or two and move on. Seems to me you had a way bigger attachment to this girl then a 4-month relationship should warrant, so I'd suggest you'd at least get some professional help for that, because stuff like that will bugger you the rest of your life.
And that relates both to how you handled this relationship/break-up and the depression you got as a result from that and having to start over.
At any rate, your story regarding your ex makes you come of as excessively needy, it shouldn't be near as hard to say goodbye to someone you've only be dating for 4 months. Normally one would get angry, go on a drinking spree for a night or two and move on. Seems to me you had a way bigger attachment to this girl then a 4-month relationship should warrant, so I'd suggest you'd at least get some professional help for that, because stuff like that will bugger you the rest of your life.
that really really sucks.
luckily, you're only 23 so the world is your oyster or whatever nonsense expression you want to use. i'm sure that doesn't make what you're going through any easier, but you really do have an immense amount of opportunity left no matter how bleak it seems in this moment.
luckily, you're only 23 so the world is your oyster or whatever nonsense expression you want to use. i'm sure that doesn't make what you're going through any easier, but you really do have an immense amount of opportunity left no matter how bleak it seems in this moment.
I'm beginning to think the relationship was actually only 3 months and the 4th month was the month of harassment before she finally called the cops. Even if it wasn't it shouldn't be a surprise that someone would call the cops after harassing someone for a month over only a 3-4 month relationship.
But her saying she didn't want to go out with you WAS the resolution. That's it. You just didn't accept it. Why would there even be a need for 'conflict resolution'?
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
I'm not going back to canada. I got a conditional sentence. I could. But now I have a criminal record. Me life robbed from me. For fighting with an ex-girlfriend.
I dared her to call the police. That was a mistake eh? She probably wouldn't have if I didn't actually dare her too.
We probably would have been back together in the summer, like she told me we could.(In this month since we broke up)
What if she didn't want to be in a room with you? What if she felt threatened from you?
The trial should have been conflict resolution, to find out if you were justified or not. But instead you plead guilty. That's your fault.
PeakPointMatrix
Member
No man, I'm on your side now. I made that response before all of these harassment posts were made. From the sounds of it, it seems like the girl was in the right here. It sucks that it got him deported, but he should have known better than to pester someone who obviously wanted nothing to so with him anymore. In this case, the most extreme consequence played out.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
I am getting help. The jail time was Traumatic. Being treated like a subject. That shit wounds you.
Agent Cooper
Member
i would avatar quote if i knew how
that's probably how it went down
seems like op is lying about something
The way this guy writes is absolutely horrible. In the first first response to this thread the whole story should've been laid out. It wasn't and it's hard to follow.
Sorry about what happened to you but you should've backed off.
So you don't want to go back? Or you can't go back? It looks like you're saying both in that post.
And yes, daring someone to call the police while harassing them for a month is not a good idea.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
She's not in the right. I got my whole life robbed. I lost my apartment, my education, my life. My friends, half the things I own.
It's not right.
I was her boyfriend not to long before. I was a part of her life, and instead of staying with me, of being responsible for the attachment she created. She went by the wishes of a muslim parent. And got rid of me. With lies and the authority.
Once again did she tell you to stop talking to her at the end of the 3rd month of the relationship or the 4th month of the relationship?
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
It wasn't right. If I was convicted naturally for harassment I learned from convicts that's like a 5 day sentence. instead because I was awaiting deportation I had to spends weeks more.
The police should never have been involved. Not when someone is lying to hurt them.
No it doesn't. Canada needs to deport far more people. I would imagine most "beat poets" receive welfare. We pay far too much tax here to just let anyone in.
Do you even realize how every single one of your posts you're playing the victim? How everyone has done you wrong. Perhaps if you had just left her alone and not acted like a psychopath, then maybe you would still have your life (minus her).
People were afraid of you. She didn't want to be with you. Stop all this madness before you do something even worse.
Necromanti
Member
I doubt international students like him are eligible for welfare, though.
IdreamofHIME
Member
Yup, I wonder if the OP can cook spaghetti.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
No, she is in the right.
You harassed her for a month, she told you that she would call the police if you didn't stop, and you went on and dared her to do it?
You threw away your life, you threw away your apartment, your education, your life. Your friends, and half the things you own.
It is right, because this should hopefully serve as a lesson to accept a no and not cling onto dangerous notions that you are in any way entitled to "conflict resolution" against her wishes.
You will hopefully get over this dude, and look back with shame on what is a series of really bad decisions and actions that only you are responsible for.
Yes, I think it is fair she called the police when your behaviour went so far as to scare her. Justice was served. It was harsh, yes, but you are in the wrong. You need help, and not because you need to start over, but to understand what you did was wrong.
With everything you have said here, it is quite clear she wasn't lying.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
4 months. And yes, after her mom caught her on the phone with me. She used to cover our relationship up. But when shit hit the fan. I didn't want to give up. Call me a monster, a stalker for that.
I loved her. I did. And I would never hurt her. So I get put in jail for racism and bullshit.
NinjaBoiX
Member
You make it sound like your relationship was her obligation.
And also, are you really surprised a Muslim lady sided with her parents over a guy she was seeing casually for 4 months? Muslim parents play a large part in their children's love life.
Necromanti
Member
Anyhow, how/why did you end up in Vienna, and what are you doing there now?
There is some seriously worrying language here. A partner has the right to leave the relationship at any point, without fear of reprisal. A woman is not responsible for being stalked or harrassed, ever.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
This is what I don't believe in. Who are you to tell me or assume i'm going to do something worse?
I am a victim. I am allowed to be hurt. I am allowed to be attached. These are human qualities. I'm allowed to make mistakes.
She shouldn't be allowed to get away with lies. To hurt me in a fit of rage. To use the authority. To get what she wants. Which I know from after I got deported and correspondence she regrets.
astroturfing
Member
dude, a 4 month relationship.. you shouldnt have lost your mind over that. if she asked repeatedly to leave her alone, that should have been it.
if what you're saying is true though, the punishment is way too harsh... hope you get your shit together eventually. don't slip further into despair and you will.
but remember: next time a girl says "leave me alone", you should listen. you DON'T forcefully push yourself into someone's life, that is stalker behavior, highly immoral and creepy. not to mention it will get you nothing but enemies.
if what you're saying is true though, the punishment is way too harsh... hope you get your shit together eventually. don't slip further into despair and you will.
but remember: next time a girl says "leave me alone", you should listen. you DON'T forcefully push yourself into someone's life, that is stalker behavior, highly immoral and creepy. not to mention it will get you nothing but enemies.
You are allowed to make mistakes, and women are allowed to call the authorities when they are being harassed.
The Don DeLillo book that Pattinson's in?
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
What I sound like, does not necessarily mean i was.
I know what I did, I was there.
OCAD-U
And we are getting a clearer picture with each of your posts.
NinjaBoiX
Member
People get hurt in a fit of rage in relationships all the time, it's called a heated argument. Sometimes they end the relationship.
This girl isn't a cruel monster OP.
And, without wanting to offend you, you should like a very controlling person. "she shouldn't be allowed", "she should've done", "she shouldn't have done". I have a feeling you maybe stifled her independence. Try and give your SO a bit of space man, you'll send her running.
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
You done goofed. please goof no more. no mas goofing.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
I'm living with my dad. And i'm starting to study german soon, so I can continue my studies in the art school here.
But I had a high school diploma from toronto, I lived 7 years there.
Agent Cooper
Member
I did not expect this coming into this thread at first lol.
Biff
Member
Yes.
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