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Terrifying ultra-ripped chimps show why we should pray Planet of the Apes never happens

j0hnnix

Member
Chimp Jail..

lTzKDuF.jpg
 

Dr.D00p

Member
I was half expecting one the chimps to pick up a bone, bash the others brains in then throw it in the air, 2001 A Space Odessey style.



..now that would be scary as shit.
 

IDKFA

I am Become Bilbo Baggins
ya i read an article once abvout chimp accidents. people who kept chimps as pets or who encountered chimps in domesitc situations and they just got turned on. I recall one story about a chimp just ripping someones eye out. gruesome stuff.

You referring to Travis the Chimp? The pet chimp in the US who attacked the owners neighbor?

The injuries that Charla Nash suffered were fucking horrible. The injuries were so horrific, the hospital had to provide counseling to its staff members who treated her.

Chimps are not to be fucked with and absolutely shout not be kept as pets.

 

DGrayson

Mod Team and Bat Team
Staff Member
You referring to Travis the Chimp? The pet chimp in the US who attacked the owners neighbor?

The injuries that Charla Nash suffered were fucking horrible. The injuries were so horrific, the hospital had to provide counseling to its staff members who treated her.

Chimps are not to be fucked with and absolutely shout not be kept as pets.


Ya i guess that is what i was thinking about.
 

DGrayson

Mod Team and Bat Team
Staff Member
Now I spent the morning re-reading the Travis story.

Just horrific. Also his owner seems pretty disturbed. I feel bad that she lost her kid but to replace a human child with a chimp emotionally just screams issues. Also they bought him for 50K in the 80s? Thats an expensive chimp.
 
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Tschumi

Member
MAybe it's cuz i live in japan but whateever part of that video involves chimps beating on each other was invisible to me.

it'd be like getting hit by a car, getting thumped by a chimp, no doubt.
 

Doczu

Member

DeepEnigma

Gold Member
Dude, you can find dozens of videos of russian dudes bitch slapping bears into obedience. How can they fight a ripped primate when a drunk naked ape beats the living shit out of them?
They ain't slapping a wild Kodiac. They are slapping trained circus bears, but I digress. :messenger_tears_of_joy:
 

Doczu

Member
They ain't slapping a wild Kodiac. They are slapping trained circus bears, but I digress. :messenger_tears_of_joy:


Looks like YT deleted the slapping videos, but i just remembered a crazy case from my local zoo. Dude tried to choke and drown a fucking bear.

I dare to say that here in East Europe bears fucked aroubd and found out they ain't the kings of the woods.

who-would-win-wojtek-smokey-the-bear-okey-eats-lit-48127353.png
 

DeepEnigma

Gold Member


Looks like YT deleted the slapping videos, but i just remembered a crazy case from my local zoo. Dude tried to choke and drown a fucking bear.

I dare to say that here in East Europe bears fucked aroubd and found out they ain't the kings of the woods.

who-would-win-wojtek-smokey-the-bear-okey-eats-lit-48127353.png

Yeah, those bears are socialized and probably more related to our black bears in the US with temperament and skittishness.

But you don't fuck around with a wild brown bear (Grizzly) or a 1300+lb Kodiak. They will snack on you with the quickness.
 

Kenneth Haight

Gold Member
Some people think they could actually win these fights with chimps. Idiots, chimps are scary AF

 

F0rneus

Tears in the rain
Reminds me of an argument on BoxingScene years ago. Some guy was saying that prime Tyson could beat a silverback gorilla hahahaha.

Also yeah, ripped tigers are the shit. Siberian Tigers hunt bears, and kill them by breaking their skulls. With their paws.
 

ScHlAuChi

Member
Personally, I’d go for a different Australian local to fuck that ripped chimp up good and proper:

zMzMebe.jpg
Forget your croc, here you have the deadliest land animal on the planet:
Hippopotamus-attacks-Croc-003.jpg

They are super aggressive, bite anything in half, barely take any damage due to their thick skin, weight more than 1.5 tons and run more than 40km/h.
Its basically a VW Bully coming after you - and they dont give any fucks!
<https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/hippos-play-attack-lion-crocodile-africa-spd>
 
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Days like these...

Have a Blessed Day
Forget your croc, here you have the deadliest land animal on the planet:
Hippopotamus-attacks-Croc-003.jpg

They are super aggressive, bite anything in half, barely take any damage due to their thick skin, weight more than 1.5 tons and run more than 40km/h.
Its basically a VW Bully coming after you - and they dont give any fucks!
<https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/hippos-play-attack-lion-crocodile-africa-spd>
Never thought I'd ever see a photo of croc looking puny and helpless!
 

FunkMiller

Gold Member
Forget your croc, here you have the deadliest land animal on the planet:
Hippopotamus-attacks-Croc-003.jpg

They are super aggressive, bite anything in half, barely take any damage due to their thick skin, weight more than 1.5 tons and run more than 40km/h.
Its basically a VW Bully coming after you - and they dont give any fucks!
<https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/hippos-play-attack-lion-crocodile-africa-spd>

Yeah, but look at those cissies having to gang up together to beat one croc. And that’s not an Aussie croc. An Aussie croc would have fucked up the biggest hippo like a bogan outside a Penrith nightclub, and his other cissie hippo mates would have run away, into Hungry Jacks to call the coppers.

’straya.
 

ScHlAuChi

Member
Yeah, but look at those cissies having to gang up together to beat one croc. And that’s not an Aussie croc. An Aussie croc would have fucked up the biggest hippo like a bogan outside a Penrith nightclub, and his other cissie hippo mates would have run away, into Hungry Jacks to call the coppers.

’straya.
More mass always wins - here´s how your Aussie croc looks like having met a hippo.

kgqvza99pno21.jpg

Even baby hippos dont give any fucks about them crocs:


Lions? Just boring annoying pests!


And to top it off, if you think a standard 9mm pistol would help you to defend against a hippo youre wrong.
A 9mm would only piss it off - in Africa they recommend a .30 or .40 caliber to stop those monsters that kill over 500ppl a year.
In South Africa, .375 is the minimum legal caliber for hippos.
 
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FunkMiller

Gold Member
More mass always wins - here´s how your Aussie croc looks like having met a hippo.

kgqvza99pno21.jpg

Even baby hippos dont give any fucks about them crocs:


Lions? Just boring annoying pests!


And to top it off, if you think a standard 9mm pistol would help you to defend against a hippo youre wrong.
A 9mm would only piss it off - in Africa they recommend a .30 or .40 caliber to stop those monsters that kill over 500ppl a year.
In South Africa, .375 is the minimum legal caliber for hippos.


You’ve put way too much thought into this.

Pretty sure I could punch a hippo to death, myself.
 
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