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The Official NeoGAF General Poetry Thread #11: Pride

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A

AnkitT

Member
The Official NeoGAF General Poetry Thread #11: Pride

Theme: Pride
Interpret the theme as you like. Pride can be interpreted in many ways, taking pride in your work, incessant pride towards oneself, pride towards a nation, and pride as human beings.



Secondary Objective: Kanye West
Incorporate Kanye West in any way into your poem. Shouldn't be difficult with the primary theme :)


Poetry thread Rules version 1.2:
1. This thread is not merely for winning or losing, but for critiquing and improving your own craft.
2. This poetry thread 'contest' will end on a Friday, and voting will last until Sunday at midnight. You cannot win unless you vote. Although you don't have to submit a piece to vote.
3. The winner must then provide the next challenge theme for the following two week period. Some weeks like during E3, this may not be possible, so we will have an interim one week period until normality is resumed. As a general rule, we like to keep this on the alternate week to the Creative Writing Thread.
4. There are no word count limits, make it as long or as short as you want.
5. Optional secondary objectives are not mandatory, you can include them or not.
6. Further addition to rule five: you can also try the secondary objective as a secondary piece. Just make sure you label it as such.
7. Vote for your favourite poems. Voters should award first, second and third places to their favourite three poems. Don't vote for the same author twice. And watch out for pieces that are labeled ineligible. :) Comment on these pieces are welcome but you just can't vote for it.
8. During the count, First place is allocated three points. Second place is allocated two points. And third place is allocated one point.
9. In the event of a tie, the tally will be counted again with first place being allocated three and half points. If it isn't resolved then, it will be up to the OP (most likely the previous winner) to decide to how to go about things.
10. Winner gets a round of applause and will have the records stating it as such. After which Rule 3 is in effect and we start a new thread.


Deadline: September 17th, 2010 at 11:59pm, Pacific.

You should get your votes in by: Sunday, September 19th, 2010 at 11:59pm, Pacific.

---

Previous Threads:

Poetry Thread #1: Reflection
Poetry Thread #2: Making the Blind See(+5W poems)
Poetry Thread #3: Interior(+Incorporate a song or album title)
Poetry Thread #4: History(+Dream Song poems)
Poetry Thread #5: A View From Afar or Within(+Clerihew poems)
Poetry Thread #6: The Surreal and the Fantastical(+Haikus)
Poetry Thread #7: Expectations versus Reality(+Ode)
Poetry Thread #8: Mirror's Edge(+Rhymes)
Poetry Thread #9: Look on the Bright Side(+poem must end with _________________ as it's last line)
Poetry Thread #10 - Obsolete(+Ink)
 
B

British Monsoon

Member
Congrats on the win AnkitT :)

Hopefully there will be more people submitting for this one, 4 is a very low number compared to some of the previous challenges.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
How do you know you never felt it, if you've never felt it?
wait, that didn't work quite as well as I'd thought it'd do. I was almost proud of that effort.
 
F

Freezie KO

Banned
I used to do Slam. Haven't for a while, but this looked like a cool topic.

My Flag

Triumphant and truthful.
Marching music in the air.
In the wind.
My flag is my instrument.

My flag is my instrument, and I play like a fiddle.
The Pied Piper
Protecting the mice from the lies and the vipers.
Just try to decipher the code of their waveform overload.
Overlord.
You’re too damn bored.
Don’t tread on me, man.
The music is free, man.

From Kanye West to the Far East,
From your CDs to your earpiece,
From the war rooms to the barkeeps,
Wave myself above you.
Wrap myself around you.
Push myself inside.
Open wide.
Here comes Pride like a goose-stepping trombonist.
Don’t let them own us.
We were stabbed in the back, and you know this.
For those who have died,
Hide behind my parapet.
My flag will fly.
We haven’t forfeited yet.
To the flag,
My flag.
My flag is my instrument.
And we’re all being played.
 
A

AnkitT

Member
Looks like the curse which had the last thread in its grip is now in effect here as well, with renewed vigor!
 
A

Ashes

Banned
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________


War Torn Machine


Do you not feel the wind caress my wings?
Flying through the graceful clouds,
floating above,
the blue oceans gleaming beneath;

Do you not see the faceless tanks explode?
the buildings collapse,
the deserts rise,
and the cities fall.

Yes, I see,
Bombs akin to raindrops,
Lightening thunder strikes
The mushroom clouds,
the nameless graves,
the tearless eyes.

Yes, I sense the relief,
when the tyres touch down,
still alive for yet another night,
It is the war torn machine,
in that is where I put my pride.


______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
 
B

British Monsoon

Member
Ugh, time is running out and I haven't got anything yet - and i'm going out tonight. I'll try and get something submitted when I get back (if i'm not too inebriated). Really low turnout this week again though, what's happened to all the regular submitters?
 
I

Igoritza

Banned
oh snap, English is not my first language, it is actually the third, but let's give it a try (without Kanye West, dude irritates me), a motivational one, in ABAB style.

when pride and presumption walk before,
shame and loss follow very close
and the feeling of joy is in your heart no more
heart falls apart, like the petals from a rose

hear me friend, cause i hear your screams
not from your anger, but screaming from your soul
do not let your pride shatter all your dreams
do not let your arrogance ruin your heart as whole

have you ever loved, so that heart does not desire
to own the thing that makes it beat much stronger
and to know the joy of love like the burning fire
that will make you think of yourself no longer ?

forget about what you want from others
feel the feelings that others speak not loud
threat all people like sisters and brothers
and then my friend - you'll be truly proud!


well, this is my first English written poetry, so i guess i sucked real hard, i apologize in advance :)
 
B

British Monsoon

Member
A Dose of Reality

With witty observations
In meaningful conversations
You drift through it all
Out of touch, having a ball
And while the people laugh
They paint you for a fool
Lives divided in half
Hidden behind a mask of cool
They've honed to perfection
After years of socialite conventions
And though their barbs are sharp
They fail to hit the mark
Seems they jumped the shark
As you're still in the dark
Full of pride and hubris
Basking in successes glow
Ignorance is bliss
A dose of reality you've chosen to forego
 
A

AnkitT

Member
:lol Nobody wants to vote either?

1. Bootaaay
2. Freezie KO
3. Ashes1396

All very solid entries though. Also, I thought your entry was pretty damn good Dresden.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
1. Freezoe Ko
2. Bootaaay
3. igoritiza

@spindashing: Too late for entires in this one mate, but you can still cast your vote if you want to. You don't have to have entered to vote.
 
B

British Monsoon

Member
That's it? What the hell happened to all the regulars in this thread? Seriously. Is it even worth doing a challenge #12 with so few participants? Real sad.

Results, I guess;

1. Freezie KO - 6 (1)
2. Bootaaay - 5 (1)
3. Ashes1396 - 4 (1)
4. Igoritza - 3
 
A

AnkitT

Member
Bootaaay said:
That's it? What the hell happened to all the regulars in this thread? Seriously. Is it even worth doing a challenge #12 with so few participants? Real sad.

Results, I guess;

1. Freezie KO - 6 (1)
2. Bootaaay - 5 (1)
3. Ashes1396 - 4 (1)
4. Igoritza - 3
Click to expand...
Well, Freezie KO, a winnar is you. Put up the next thread kindly!
 
A

Ashes

Banned
freezie ko didn't vote. Me thinks you should award Bootaaay the win. these are sad times for the poetry thread. I think we peaked thread before last. It's also the end of summer, back to work/uni/college time period...
Lets just soldier on I guess.
 
F

Freezie KO

Banned
Ugh. Sorry. Just saw this. Didn't know the "contestants" were supposed to vote on each others'. It's so incestuous. I guess it's too much to ask onlookers to vote. Anyway, this was fun, but someone else should put up the next thread. Obviously, I don't vote for myself, so I didn't win anything.
 
I

Irish

Member
Damn, that's sad. :( The topic is what killed me this go around. Still, I'm excited to see what's up next.
 
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