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Is anyone close to you a narcissist? How do you deal with these chatterboxes

R

Royce McCutcheon

Junior Member
GAF I'm in a lovely relationship with a girl who happens to be a Narcissist. She can chatter on for hours without me ever responding and has a self appreciating ego that would make Peggy Hill proud. Early on in our relationship I couldn't stand it, how could someone perpetually blow themselves in every instance. Narcissist don't take L's in their heads, they always come out on top. Calling them out on their bullshit either leads to them exploding in anger or locking up until they think you've forgot and hit the reset button. I had to get creative with how I dealt with any disagreements,because as long as she thinks she's right, everything is 100% A-ok. Doesn't sound healthy, but it works.
 
T

Tuck

Member
Used to live with one. The guy would drive me up a fucking wall, I couldn't stand him.

Only see him on occasion now, and he's tolerable in small doses.
 
Reckheim

Reckheim

Member
Royce McCutcheon said:
GAF I'm in a lovely relationship with a girl who happens to be a Narcissist. She can chatter on for hours without me ever responding and has a self appreciating ego that would make Peggy Hill proud. Early on in our relationship I couldn't stand it, how could someone perpetually blow themselves in every instance. Narcissist don't take L's in their heads, they always come out on top. Calling them out on their bullshit either leads to them exploding in anger or locking up until they think you've forgot and hit the reset button. I had to get creative with how I dealt with any disagreements,because as long as she thinks she's right, everything is 100% A-ok. Doesn't sound healthy, but it works.
Click to expand...

If you give in to her bullshit it will only get worse cause she wont think she is doing anything wrong.
 
V

vikki

Member
They just keep talking, I try to get in a response, but I'm cut off. The subject is changing, but I'm stuck on what we were talking about. I'm lost.

It's not always narcissism if this happens, but if she always comes out on top? I don't know how that can end well for you.

JoeNut said:
Congrats on the sex?
Click to expand...

[Limp Bizkit plays in the background]
 
B

boiled goose

good with gravy
Me.

You have to try to get her to become self aware. Use her narcissism as a way to improve behavior. Narcissists are self centered but ultimately want to be liked.
 
M

marimorimo

Member
Lovely relationship? LOL. What's your definition of one?

In young people it's usually immaturity but by mid-twenties that should have toned down. They need something to pull them back down to earth.
 
Thaedolus

Thaedolus

Gold Member
In my experience, if it's legit narcissism, run the fuck away and never look back. It's a malignant trait that will only cause you damage. That said, the term is probably over used
 
R

Royce McCutcheon

Junior Member
Reckheim said:
If you give in to her bullshit it will only get worse cause she wont think she is doing anything wrong.
Click to expand...

Yea I figured that much. The bullshit is mostly fluff, like her own Mary sue fanfiction were she always comes out on top. I can deal with that shit. It's getting the truth out of the bullshit that's the fun* part.

PeskyToaster said:
is she like a 15 out of 10 or something?
Click to expand...

She is very successful, loves video games, knows how to cook and clean, has dreams and ambitions *currently getting her master's in communications* not to mention attractive. She just has this very grating personality quirk.
 
C

C.Mongler

Member
I mean there's a lot more to actually being a narcissist than just being chatty and always thinking you're right, but considering your OP is like 3 lines long it's hard for me to really gauge. If you think she's an honest-to-god narcissist though, then get out man, 99% chance it will never get better. The problem with narcissists is they legitimately don't believe there's anything wrong with themselves or their own behavior, and therefore never feel any reason to change. You can't coax them into being someone else.
 
S

SirJackDaniels

Member
Narcissists are the worst. I stay far away from them.
Always looking for something else to blame.

I recently lost one of my best friends to a narcissist, a bro whom i travelled the world with.
The narcissist is my cousin, she completely isolated him from all his mates and bro's. Even fights with his family (mum, dad, sister).
Everybody pointed out that she was one. He didnt believe it. In the end she shattered his world. He lost so much respect from friends and family.
Stuff that she did lost him all of his friends. But ofcourse it wasnt her fault, she claims.

Get The fuck out. Stay as far away as possible. In the end they will make you go insane, isolate you and its always your fault.
 
Zok310

Zok310

Banned
Soon as I sense the narcissism I end the relationship and hit the road. Those people are the reason why the world is fucked up.
 
W

Wolfgunblood Garopa

Member
I have a Trumpian narcissist in my family. He is one of the worst people I have ever known.

Stay away from narcissists, best advice anyone could ever give.
 
B

Boylamite

Member
Royce McCutcheon said:
GAF I'm in a lovely relationship with a girl who happens to be a Narcissist. She can chatter on for hours without me ever responding and has a self appreciating ego that would make Peggy Hill proud. Early on in our relationship I couldn't stand it, how could someone perpetually blow themselves in every instance. Narcissist don't take L's in their heads, they always come out on top. Calling them out on their bullshit either leads to them exploding in anger or locking up until they think you've forgot and hit the reset button. I had to get creative with how I dealt with any disagreements,because as long as she thinks she's right, everything is 100% A-ok. Doesn't sound healthy, but it works.
Click to expand...
Have fun with that
 
R

Royce McCutcheon

Junior Member
C.Mongler said:
I mean there's a lot more to actually being a narcissist than just being chatty and always thinking you're right, but considering your OP is like 3 lines long it's hard for me to really gauge. If you think she's an honest-to-god narcissist though, then get out man, 99% chance it will never get better. The problem with narcissists is they legitimately don't believe there's anything wrong with themselves or their own behavior, and therefore never feel any reason to change. You can't coax them into being someone else.
Click to expand...

Narcissist don't take L's in their heads, they always come out on top
Click to expand...

Oh she's definitely a Narcissist. I'm able to deal with it, we've been together 2 years and the 1st year was the real rough one. It helps that we are on 2 different shifts.

PantherLotus said:
What does being chatty have to do with narcissism?
Click to expand...

Show me the narcissist that isn't chatty
 
Vigilant Walrus

Vigilant Walrus

Member
Dynamite Shikoku said:
so its like dating donald trump? sounds awful
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giphy.gif
 
G

Greigor The Fellhand

Member
family member is dating one. A toxic one, we exclude her from certain group texts as she attempts to override and control any group text. she goes out of her way to cause /create drama, removing people from fb, messaging everyone but 1 person then telling the others that one person isnt talking to her.

basically, keep questions pushed by this person to 2-3 word responses, don't divulge any hobby or interest you have.

be polite, either play the game or don't, don't send a message and stop.

gear topics toward things you know they have no interest in or anything, I like using politics, as my family are always reading and educating our selves with world and local events. this person doesn't.
 
N

Nabbis

Member
If you are adamant on doing this little experiment then you could at least read a few books on the current theories regarding manipulation and conditioning. I don't really know what you expected to find asking Gaf relationship advice...
 
J

JoeNut

Member
Royce McCutcheon said:
Oh she's definitely a Narcissist. I'm able to deal with it, we've been together 2 years and the 1st year was the real rough one. It helps that we are on 2 different shifts.



Show me the narcissist that isn't chatty
Click to expand...

so the reason you're still together is that you don't see each other often??
 
R

Royce McCutcheon

Junior Member
Nabbis said:
If you are adamant on doing this little experiment then you could at least read a few books on the current theories regarding manipulation and conditioning. I don't really know what you expected to find asking Gaf relationship advice...
Click to expand...

I'm not asking for relationship advice, especially from here. I wanna hear others stories.

JoeNut said:
so the reason you're still together is that you don't see each other often??
Click to expand...

It helps a whole lot.
 
G

gaugebozo

Member
My mother-in-law is a narcissist. Narcissists doesn't really get fixed, and they really fuck up any kids they have. Really consider whether you would inflict this on children.

I can't stand this woman (who has secretly dropped hints that I might be a serial murderer in order to get more attention from my wife), and I only have to see her 3-4 times a year. I can't imagine living with it.
 
W

waveuponwave

Member
Royce McCutcheon said:
Oh she's definitely a Narcissist. I'm able to deal with it, we've been together 2 years and the 1st year was the real rough one. It helps that we are on 2 different shifts.
Click to expand...

Well if you think you can deal with it, your choice. But I have someone in my family who was in a relationship with a narcissist and he tried to manipulate her at every turn and it led to some ugly things... so I'd be careful

Royce McCutcheon said:
She is very successful, loves video games, knows how to cook and clean, has dreams and ambitions *currently getting her master's in communications* not to mention attractive. She just has this very grating personality quirk.
Click to expand...

I kind of get what you mean... one of my oldest friends is maybe not a narcissist, but he can't take any criticism and has to always come out on top in every argument. I put up with it for a long time, because at the same time we were genuinely good friends, he's a really talented guy and we share a lot of interests

But I think I'm at the point where I don't want to deal with his bullshit anymore, old friends or not. it's just exhausting. I've met a lot of great people in the last years and most are just so much easier to spend time with

Tbh I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with such a person
 
M

Mahonay

Banned
I live in New York. It's part of life here. I deal with it fine. Narcissists can be fine people of they're not over the top.
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
Sounds awful OP.

This is just tangential, but I couldn't really find a better place to ask it. People saying that you shouldn't associate with narcissists, but if everyone followed that advice these people would be alone. I guess is that fine? I mean, nobody deserves/is entitled to love or companionship, so it's okay for these kinds of people to be alone, ideally. Sorry, this is a confusing thing to think about.
 
C

CSJ

Member
You basically have to hit the eject button and move yourself from that person....


Earendil said:
My father-in-law was. Moving 2000 miles away didn't help, so I basically had to wait for him to die to escape.
Click to expand...

... or maybe not, damn!.
 
R

Ricky_R

Member
Royce McCutcheon said:
Calling them out on their bullshit either leads to them exploding in anger or locking up until they think you've forgot and hit the reset button. I had to get creative with how I dealt with any disagreements,because as long as she thinks she's right, everything is 100% A-ok. Doesn't sound healthy, but it works.
Click to expand...

giphy.gif
 
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