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Jintor · Mar 15, 2015

[unknown weapon discharges]

Screaming Meat: Shit, those things have lasers or some shit! Cant hit for shit though.
Incendiary: One of them zapped the one I hit fixed it or somethi-
Screaming Meat: Weve got company!

Tangaroo: Think I saw something purple-

[automatic weapons fire]

Tangaroo: Booyah.
Screaming Meat: Fragging the bots!

[explosion]

Raphael: Meat, look out!

[automatic weapons fire]

Raphael: He was on the other side of the door.
Screaming Meat: Thanks Raph. No effect on the bots
Raphael: Hey, wasnt this one glowing before?
Screaming Meat: I think he stopped after Tanga shot the other fucker.

[automatic weapons fire]

Incendiary: Can we chat about this after the laser-spewing robots are scrap?

Jintor · Mar 15, 2015

[unknown weapon discharges]

Raphael: Youre not the one getting shot at!
Screaming Meat: We cant just hunker here, we gotta bring the fight to them-
Counting Comets: On it.
Hazaro: Backing you up!
Tangaroo: Im with you!

[automatic weapons fire]

Counting Comets: Bots down.

Jintor · Mar 15, 2015

Raphael: Okay Bravo, moving up- targets spotted! Three of em!
Counting Comets: Shit!
Incendiary: Fuck!

[multiple plasma pistol discharges]

Counting Comets: They got me pinned, they got me pinned!
Screaming Meat: Firing-

[automatic weapons fire]

Incendiary: Fuckfuckfuckfuck-

[automatic weapons fire]

Incendiary: One down.
Hazaro: One on the left-
Raphael: Ill guard the door.
Counting Comets: Gonna break for it!

[plasma pistol discharge]

Counting Comets: Im clear, Im clear!

[automatic weapons fire]

Hazaro: Missed the target-

[door bursts open]

Raphael: Oh, fu-

[plasma pistol discharge]

Raphael: ARRRGHHHH!!!

Jintor · Mar 15, 2015

Screaming Meat: Raph!
Counting Comets: Raph!

Raphael: Im okay, Im- still breathing-
Screaming Meat: Good, keep your head down! Firing on target right!

[automatic weapons fire]

Counting Comets: Raph, what are you-
Raphael: GIVE ME BACK MY QUARTERS, YOU FUCKER!

[automatic weapons fire]

Raphael: Holy shit h-holy shit
Screaming Meat: Raph, you okay?
Raphael: Mostly fuck. Fucking greys, man. Fuck.
Incendiary: Central, situation!
Central: Nothing else non-human around the AO, Bravo. Get that operative medical attention ASAP, then come on home.
Tangaroo: You hear that, Raph? You're gonna be okay, yo. Were going home.
Raphael: Man, fuck aliens.

--- TRANSCRIPT ENDS---

Poodlestrike · Mar 15, 2015

Damn, 2 missions and only 1 casualty. GAF is invincible!

Raphael · Mar 15, 2015

0 casualties! Bravo team did well. I just regret the fucker that stole my quarters wasn't here. I'll get him when I'll recover.

Mindlog · Mar 15, 2015

Well that overconfidence won't come back on us.
We'll need the spare parts so I guess... win-win.

PBalfredo · Mar 15, 2015

BTW, what country did we end up deciding to base Gaming Side in?

Soulstar · Mar 15, 2015

!SIGNUP

Ready to go.

Screaming Meat · Mar 15, 2015

Heeey I'm not a pile goo!

Like McDonald's: I'm lovin' it. Great read, Jintor.

Raphael said:
0 casualties! Bravo team did well. I just regret the fucker that stole my quarters wasn't here. I'll get him when I'll recover.

Obligatory:

TimeEffect · Mar 15, 2015

I made the mistake of buying Enemy Within on PS3 for $40, and now I'm desperately waiting for a sale on EW for PC to play this mod.

I feel so stupid.

Zeth · Mar 15, 2015

Long War is probably one of my favorite games of all time at this point. Happy to follow along, cheers!

Jintor · Mar 16, 2015

RECOVERED: 6 x Sectoid corpses, 3 x robot wreckage, 3 x unidentified alien substance, sufficient unidentified alien materials to fit 3 x containers of dimensions

[REDACTED]

Jintor · Mar 16, 2015

ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!

All pilots to battle stations! All pilots to battle stations! XSAT-001 has detected a quantum gravitational wave distortion field coming in hard and fast over the Pacific. Scramble and engage!

hooijdonk17 · Mar 16, 2015

!SIGNUP-PILOT Stephen Appiah reporting for tour of duty.

Jintor · Mar 16, 2015

CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET
//ENGAGEMENT REPORT 001 – UFO-001//
9 March 2016
XCOM SECURE CHANNEL – AUDIO TRANSCRIPT

DirOps: McNum, status report!
Central: PBalfredo and Appiah are in the air and closing fast.
DirOps: Excellent. I want eyes on the second they get in range.

<--timestamp advance +26 seconds-->

PBalfredo: I have visual on target, Central… It’s an honest-to-god flying saucer, Command, a god-damned UFO.
Central: Sir, it’s cleared the Pacific – damn thing’s buzzing San Diego.
DirOps: Hold back until it clears the city limits, then take that thing out of the sky, Raven-1. Raven-2, hang back for the moment.
Appiah: Copy that.
PBalfredo: Copy that – we’re clear, engaging! Fucking thing’s fast as shit… weapons locke-

PBalfredo: Taking fire, taking fire!
Central: Missile one hit-
PBalfredo: Fucking he- [static] –cond missile awa- [static]

Central: Raven-1, report!
PBalfredo: -vy damage receiv- [static]
DirOps: Boost the gain, damnit.
PBalfredo: -CK ON THAT, YOU [static]
Central: Raven-1, what is your status? Report!
PBalfredo: -ral, bogie is down, repeat: UFO-1 has crash-landed.

[cheering]

Poodlestrike · Mar 16, 2015

Man, I just started a new Long War game (because of this, actually), and my first UFO was a large

Lost an interceptor trying to shoot it down (failed), and 4 soldiers trying to assault the landing (also failed. Freaking chyrssalids.)

McNum · Mar 16, 2015

Jintor said:
DirOps: McNum, status report!
Central: PBalfredo and Appiah are in the air and closing fast.
DirOps: Excellent. I want eyes on the second they get in range.

Heh. That link. You know me all too well there. If there's one thing that disappointed me in XCOM, it was the lack of that particular song.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just be humming that all day.

Poodlestrike said:
Man, I just started a new Long War game (because of this, actually), and my first UFO was a large Lost an interceptor trying to shoot it down (failed), and 4 soldiers trying to assault the landing (also failed. Freaking chyrssalids.)

Yeah that's Long War for you. You're not supposed to win everything. In fact, a Large landed UFO in March is a very tempting prize, but.. it's fiendishly hard to pull that off. Just be glad you didn't see

what's on the bridge of one of those things.

Baalzebup · Mar 16, 2015

McNum said:
Heh. That link. You know me all too well there. If there's one thing that disappointed me in XCOM, it was the lack of that particular song.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just be humming that all day.

If your fighter craft is from an X-com base, that is the only song that should be allowed to play when missiles and plasma fill the air.

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

Central: Excellent work, Raven-1. Come on home.
PBAlfredo: You guys better have the beers ready when I get back. Raven-1 out.
Central: Retask RECSAT-A2 and get me eyes on the crash site. Operations, what's BigSky's status?
Operations: Skyranger-1 is prepped and standing by.
Recon: RECSAT-A2 is reporting the UFO went down in San Bernardino National Forest, sir.
Central: Too close to a major city centre for comfort.
DirOps: Get the US attaché on the line and tell him we’re coming in hot. Standard lock-down procedure, National Guard is to secure but not, repeat not, intervene.
Recon: Sir, we have a visual!
Central: My god… it’s still intact.

DirOps: Alright, Alpha’s well out of fatigue time, right? Get them on Skyranger-1 pronto. I want that craft secured.
Central: One moment, sir.
DirOps: Yes?
Central: Sir, I realise this is our first shot at a downed UFO, but we desperately need to get our unbloodied recruits familiarised with XCOM combat doctrine asap.
DirOps: Hmm… Skyranger-1 still only has the bandwidth for 6 real-time sensor/communications arrays to reliably transmit at a time. Are you saying we should field rookies here?
Communications: Sir, RECSAT-02 has detected movement at the crash site.
DirOps: I’d prefer to be cautious on our first approach-
Central: We can draw the best of both contact teams and put them temporarily in charge of a third contact team of rooks, sir. We can sort out the exact details later, but-
DirOps: Yes… yes. That makes sense. Get it done.
Central: Roger.
DirOps: Just get me that damn disc with as few body bags as possible.
Central: Yessir.

hooijdonk17 · Mar 17, 2015

I call dibs on the next UFO

Watch me engage a Large UFO and get blown out of the sky before I even get to fire an Avalanche missile..

Doczu · Mar 17, 2015

hooijdonk17 said:
I call dibs on the next UFO

Watch me engage a Large UFO and get blown out of the sky before I even get to fire an Avalanche missile..

Hey, the first sacrifice will always be remembered

i don't want anyone to die, really

_hekk05 · Mar 17, 2015

Signing up for pilot duty. I'll take on what I can with what I got.

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET
//INCIDENT REPORT_0003//
OPERATION LONE EMPIRE
<<UFO-001 CRASH SITE - SAN BERNARDINO NATIONAL FOREST, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA>>
9 March 2016

CONTACT TEAM OMEGA
SPEC Clevinger (Infantry)
SPEC Tangaroo (Scout)
PFC Decoyplatypus
PFC Bigdaddygamebot
PFC Zod the Bear
PFC Danj

--- Audio Transcript Excerpt – CONTACT TEAM OMEGA –

Clevinger: Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!
Tangaroo: Wheels down, rooks!
Central: Contact Team, be advised, Skyranger-1 active sensors have detected at least two MELD canisters in your vicinity.

Clevinger: Roger that, taking the nearest.

<--timestamp advance +18 seconds-->

Decoyplatypus: Quiet- I’ve heard that sound befor-
Bigdaddygamebot: Tangos spotted!

[automatic weapons fire]
[automatic weapons fire]
[automatic weapons fire]

Clevinger: Good shooting, rookie.
Bigdaddygamebot: Thanks.
Danj: Jesus, they’re in a real rush to die, huh?
Decoyplatypus: Was that your kill or hers, Clev?
Clevinger: Either way, she’s quick on the draw.

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

<--timestamp advance +45 seconds-->

[meld canister stabilises]

Tangaroo: Canister-1 in hand, command.
Central: Acknowledged, Omega. Good work.
Tangaroo: I can see the wreck from here, too flyboys really did a number on this one.
Clevinger: Wed better get to that other canister before we attempt a breach. Tanga, Decoy, keep an eye on the bird. Rooks, fall in on me.
Bigdaddygamebot: Roger.
Zod the Bear: You got it.

<--timestamp advance +245 seconds-->

Tangaroo: -n hear another thrummer out here and more chittering from the UFOs direction, too.
Clevinger: Alright. Danj, fall in on me and Tanga, were going to find this new thrummer. The rest of you get to the canister Command identified earlier.
Zod the Bear: What, split the squad?
Tangaroo: Well be okay the nearest chittering is coming from inside the UFO. Should be nothing out here.
Danj: I hope to god youre right.

Central: Omega, be advised, third canister detected just north-west of your position.
Tangaroo: Roger that, command; grabbing the juice.

<--timestamp advance +124 seconds-->

[meld canister stabilises]

Bigdaddygamebot: Canister, uh, stabilised.

[meld canister stabilises]

Danj: Ours is solid, too.
Clevinger: Alright, shopping trips over then. What say we go kill us some fucking xenos, Omega?
All: Hoo-rah!

Doczu · Mar 17, 2015

Sir, this radio silence with our ground forces is taking some time. Is everything ok? I'm sure all of us are worried about our comrades...

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

Zod the Bear: Area behind us is secure.
Clevinger: Approaching UFO-001 with extreme caution. Eyes wide

<--timestamp advance +432 seconds-->

Danj: is it always like this?
Decoyplatypus: Like what?
Danj: The waiting.
Decoyplatypus: Search me. That first engagement was over in about 8 minutes-
Tangaroo: Here they come!

[ballistic pistol fire]

Clevinger: Pack of three, they pulled back after Tanga started shooting.
Tangaroo: Winged one, but no luck-
Decoyplatypus: Nobody else got shots off?
Zod the Bear: Were too far out-
Clevinger: Okay, lets see if we can get them to come to us.
Tangaroo: You know they can just shoot us, right?

[plasma pistol discharge]

Tangaroo: Case in point.

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

Tangaroo: Blow this for a game of conkers.
Clevinger: The fuck are you-

[plasma pistol discharge]

[shotgun blast]

Tangaroo: Fuck! Still not used to this damn thing.
Decoyplatypus: Assisting-

[automatic weapons fire]

Clevinger: My turn-

[automatic weapons fire]

Clevinger: Target down.
Tangaroo: Glowy didn’t like that one bit – he’s outta here.

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

Clevinger: Decoy, can you get us a scanner out there?
Decoyplatypus: You got it.

Central: Omega, Dr Mindlog advises us that there is an active power source of some kind inside the wreck. Strongly recommend against engagement inside the wreck unless absolutely necessary.
Clevinger: Acknowledged, command.
Central: Enemy positions marked on group HUD.
Tangaroo: Copy that.

Danj: Here comes good friend number one-

[plasma pistol discharge]

Clevinger: Ahah, fuck you, ET!
Central: Omega scanner reporting another two sectoids inbound to your location.

Tangaroo: Fuck!
Clevinger: Theyre not advancing-
Zod the Bear: Do they not know were here?
Danj: Moving up what the fuck is that?!?

Bigdaddygamebot: What is what?
Danj: Some sort of crystal thing turned into a dude!
Bigdaddygamebot: You been chasing that dank smoke again, Danj?
Danj: Its got a fucking gun.

Clevinger: Okay, everyone, new plan fall back and regroup for a second. Central, we have a new con-

hooijdonk17 · Mar 17, 2015

(Question: If this is a PC playthrough, why are there 360 controller indicators in the UI?)

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

Danj: Tell that to Mr Crystal!
Clevinger: Shit!

[automatic weapons fire]

[unidentified weapon discharge]

Clevinger: Motherfuck! Danj, get out there and blind that fucker!
Danj: Running-
Central: Those two other sectoids are beginning aggressive maneuvers, Omega-
Clevinger: No time for those shits! Bang that crystal!
Danj: Stun out!

[flashbang explosion]

Clevinger: Tangaroo, Gamebot, on the ridge! Circle around and flank that sucker! Rooks, get up here and get ready to bang him again if he so much as breathes-

[unidentified weapon discharge]

Danj: Jesus fuck!
Zod the Bear: ET’s trying to come round the sides…
Clevinger: Forget about him – fuck, I’ll do it myself! Tanga, on me!

[flashbang explosion]

[shotgun blast]

Tangaroo: That thing can take its punishment-

[unidentified weapon discharge]

Tangaroo: Good thing you blinded it.

bigdaddygamebot · Mar 17, 2015

Oh man...I need to know more!!!!

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

[plasma pistol discharge]
[plasma pistol discharge]

Zod the Bear: ETs just naturally incompe-
Tangaroo: Clev, the fucking crystals reforming or some shit!

Decoyplatypus: Oh that is just not cricket.
Tangaroo: Ive had just about enough of his shit.

[shotgun blast]

Tangaroo: Fuck you, buddy. Command, the target, uh, dissolved.
Clevinger: As long as its out of the game it can do whatever the fuck it wants. Lets mop up ET and go home.

Poodlestrike · Mar 17, 2015

hooijdonk17 said:
(Question: If this is a PC playthrough, why are there 360 controller indicators in the UI?)

You can use the controller with the PC version.

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

Zod the Bear: Copy that.

[automatic weapons fire]

Zod the Bear: One down.
Tangaroo: Hey, one of thems making another one all glowy.

Decoyplatypus: Youd think shed make him buy her dinner first.
Danj: Do these things even have gende-
Bigdaddygamebot: Incoming!

[plasma pistol discharge]

Bigdaddygamebot: Oh you did not just fucking do that, mate.

[automatic weapons fire]

Bigdaddygamebot: Dead as disco.

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

[automatic weapons fire]

Danj: Negative damage-

[plasma pistol discharge]

Bigdaddygamebot: Christ almighty, is it open season on Aussies today?
Zod the Bear: Duck season.
Decoyplatypus: Rabbit season!
Clevinger: Knock it off and kill me some fucking xenos!

[automatic weapons fire]

Zod the Bear: One ET camping the ledge… missed him.
Tangaroo: I’m gonna cut around the outside of the UFO –
Bigdaddygamebot: Flanking-
Zod the Bear: You idiot, I just said he was camping the ledge!

[plasma pistol discharge]

Bigdaddygamebot: Haha, suck it!

[automatic weapons fire]
[automatic weapons fire]

Bigdaddygamebot: God fucking damnit.
Danj: Hey, I missed too.
Bigdaddygamebot: Yeah, but there's more imminent threat of death here-
Clevinger: Ledgefucker’s on the move!

[automatic weapons fire]

Clevinger: Balls!
Zod the Bear: Hey, this one’s moving too-

Zod the Bear: -no… no no no… nononononononon-
Danj: What’s wrong-
Zod the Bear: -THIS ISN’T RIGHT! WHAT’S HAPPENING?!?!?!? GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW, DAMNIT, NOW!!!!!

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

Decoyplatypus: Zod!
Clevinger: What the fucks happening out there?
Zod the Bear: [hysterical gibbering]
Decoyplatypus: That little shit hit Zod with some kind of purple thing and now Zods flipping the fuck out!
Danj: Think if I kill it maybe shell take a chill pill?
Clevinger: Its worth a shot. Zod, calm the fuck down-
Zod the Bear: [gibberish]

[automatic weapons fire]

Danj: Any better?
Zod the Bear: [deep gasps for air]
Decoyplatypus: Uh Ill keep an eye on her.

Tangaroo: Ive got eyes on ledgefucker

[ballistic pistol fire]

Tangaroo: Nope. Better get closer.
Clevinger: Roger that. Omega, form up-
Zod the Bear: jesusfuckchristwhatiswrongwithme-
Clevinger: Decoy, better stay with Zod for now.
Decoyplatypus: Roger that-

[plasma pistol discharge]

Tangaroo: If you guys could just hurry up a tad thatd be absolutely swell.
Clevinger: You heard the man.

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

<--timestamp advance +32 seconds-->

Tangaroo: You know, I could just nade ledgefucker right now and be done with it.
Decoyplatypus: Eh better not. I think Dr. Provostzak wants more intact materials.
Tangaroo: Ah, well, its all the same to me.

[shotgun blast]

Tangaroo: Tango down.
Clevinger: Zod, you feeling better?
Zod the Bear: Yeah yeah. I I dont know what came over me.
Danj: A purple ray of light, from my perspective.
Clevinger: Well, I guess thats going in the report. Along with this totally sweet UFO. Think this thing can still fly?
Decoyplatypus: Hope so. Good mission, eh?
Clevinger: And nobodys dead! Except xeno scum. But they dont count.

---TRANSCRIPT ENDS---

Doczu · Mar 17, 2015

Wait a second, are we fighting aliens, as in little ET dudes? Somebody said "alien" and i thought they said "illegal alien" and signed up!

Jintor · Mar 17, 2015

RECOVERED: 7 x Sectoid Corpses, 30 x Elerium, 9 x Alien Alloys, 8 x Weapon Fragments, 16 x MELD, 1 x UFO Flight Computer, 1 x Power Source, 1 x UFO Flight Computer (damaged)

KILLS/MISSION BOARD – CONTACT TEAM OMEGA
Clevinger: 4 | 2 (+1)
Tangaroo: 4 | 2 (+2)
Bigdaddygamebot: 2 | 1 (+2)
Decoyplatypus: 1 | 2 (+1)
Zod the Bear: 1 | 1 (+1)
Danj: 1 | 1 (+1)

ScraftyDevil · Mar 17, 2015

More sectoid corpses? Excellent. These will prove to be most useful in my research.

McNum · Mar 17, 2015

And that was the traditional Long War welcome. Except Jintor is good enough at the game to roll with it.

Spoilered in case you don't want to know what I mean:
-

Outsiders now have 10 HP instead of 3 and can regenerate

-

Outsiders have crazy-accurate shots

-

You MUST use Flashbangs (new to Long War) or overwhelm it with burst firepower to survive

-

Puny Sectoids have Psi powers

And there's more to come, oh yes. This is not your vanilla Enemy Within game. Just wait until you see the

[REDACTED]

with

[REDACTED]

.

Great luck on the intact Power Source, by the way. That's a great early boost there.

hooijdonk17 · Mar 17, 2015

McNum said:
Great luck on the intact Power Source, by the way. That's a great early boost there.

That's not luck, we downed it carefully. That's how we roll.

Poodlestrike · Mar 17, 2015

McNum said:
And that was the traditional Long War welcome. Except Jintor is good enough at the game to roll with it.

Spoilered in case you don't want to know what I mean:
-

Outsiders now have 10 HP instead of 3 and can regenerate

-

Outsiders have crazy-accurate shots

-

You MUST use Flashbangs (new to Long War) or overwhelm it with burst firepower to survive

-

Puny Sectoids have Psi powers

And there's more to come, oh yes. This is not your vanilla Enemy Within game. Just wait until you see the

[REDACTED]

with

[REDACTED]

.

Great luck on the intact Power Source, by the way. That's a great early boost there.

I really need to start using some of the new grenades; I'm still in a very "firepower over all" way of thinking when I'm picking and outfitting my squads.

McNum · Mar 17, 2015

Poodlestrike said:
I really need to start using some of the new grenades; I'm still in a very "firepower over all" way of thinking when I'm picking and outfitting my squads.

Pack Flashbangs. They're like AoE Suppression in a can. That explodes. They debuff Aim, Mobility, and AoE attack range. Any alien that's affected by it will have a really bad next turn.

They're good against a lot of things, but especially

Outsiders

and

[REDACTED]

.

decoyplatypus · Mar 17, 2015

I like the nationality-specific banter, Jintor. Congrats on the power source.

Raphael · Mar 17, 2015

That was great and wow on not even getting hit. Good job Omega.

bigdaddygamebot · Mar 17, 2015

You play like a beast. And I didn't die!

*self high five*

Baalzebup · Mar 17, 2015

Clevinger totally cheated his ticket to that party, but since he filled his boots well, I can't bear a grudge. Good show.

Jintor · Mar 18, 2015

“My apologies, Director, but we can only really focus intensively on one research subject at a time, or it really becomes a logistical nightmare; this is the best method of streamlining-“

“I don’t like it, Dr. ProvostZak, but I understand. Has the low-level analysis yielded anything of note?”

“Sir. The flying robots encountered in Nigeria are basically equivalent to an unmanned drone, though we’ve so far not been able to properly crack one open – digitally speaking.”

“Hmmm. What else?”

“We've designated the crystalline creature discovered at the helm of UFO-001 as an ‘outsider’. They matched Skyranger-1’s EM monitoring system against the timestamps and determined there was a pulse about the time Danj, uh, activated the fellow.”

“Outsider?”

“The EM pulse was consistent with… well, something akin to radio transmission. We think. We’re operating under the assumption that the creature was being… controlled… from a remote location.”

“Hmmm. Well, it’ll do for now. Is that all?”

“Dossiers on these new contact types are being prepared as we speak. Oh, and we’re still undecided as to what all this… purple light stuff means. Zod’s next interview with Dr. Diablos is scheduled for… 0400. But we know it’s alien in origin. We recommend operating under the assumption ‘purple equals bad things happening’.”

“Good to know, Doctor; I’ll take it under advisement.”

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