Attic Record Review: The Eraser
Word Count: 822
I was rummaging through my attic the other day when I came across a box full of compact discs and you'll never guess what happened next: I started looking through them. As the smell of old board game instructions wafted through the air, I found one of my old favorites by none other than Mr. Radiohead himself: Thom Yorke. Are you familiar with Thom Yorke? Sit on a bumper and let me tell you about this man and his solo LP (The Eraser) in an honest fashion.
Tommy Yorke is the lead singer/conductor of a band known by many people as “Radiohead.” Now Radiohead is the only band when it comes to making music that matters. Other bands use instruments on their “records.” Do you realize how old fashioned guitars are becoming? Well Thom Yorke does. That’s why he looks at a guitar and gets all itchy.
Radiohead uses computers to make their records. Specific programs include Number Munchers and Doom II in order to generate those sounds that make you feel like you know more about music than your stupid brother that likes bands that aren’t Radiohead. Some of their hit songs include “Hunting Bears” and “OK Computer.”
Back in 2006, Mr. Yorke Peppermint Patty decided that he wanted to sit in a closet, by himself, and record a solo album, all alone. He was quick to assure all of the fans of his quintet not to worry that Radiohead is breaking up. They’re not. I called Radiohead to confirm this and they said, “This is Radiohead and we’re fine.”
The solo album, titled “The Eraser,” is majestic. Like an eagle swooping down from the back of a quarter, this album has peaks and valleys that will take the listener on an adventure island II.
Can you believe how majestic Thom Yorke and his album is? Just look at the artwork!
It’s the guy from “Spy vs. Spy” pumping water out of his basement because it rained really hard last night. Who thinks of these things? THOM YORKE!
The title track, “The Eraser,” is the album’s title track. Thom Yorke believed in his mind that the title of this track would make for a good title. The song sounds like if you took The Clash mixed with Primitive Radio Gods, told them to become friends, and made a jingle for a new soft drink called “Eraser Cola.”
Next up is “Analyse.” I think they spelled analyze wrong. Hopefully nobody notices this. Anyway this song begins with a football coach describing a button hook left wide out play and ends with Hotwheels falling out of a toy box.
“The Clock” informs the listener how much time is left on the album so you can plan the rest of your day. One example of something you might need to do after the album is over would be picking up some pancake ingredients at the store.
Uh oh, it’s “Black Swan.” Okay, I’m not sure if I should mention this, but this song includes the ‘f’ word quite a few times. Some people call this the ‘f bomb,’ but in times of war, I find that phrase highly offensive. Can we say ‘f bomb pop’ instead? Ice cream can sooth the sore throat of war. THIS IS A POLITICAL STATEMENT BECAUSE I AM PART OF THE LIBERAL MEDIA!
“Skip Divided” is a song that makes you really listen to the lyrics. Lyrics are the most important part of the song and Thom Yorkshire Terrier is fully aware of this. Some of his lyrics include, “Girl I want to hold you in my arms and never let you go.” This is clearly a love song written about his best gal. (Hint: put this on a mixtape, fellas!)
I didn’t have time to listen to the next two tracks separately so I put them both on at the same time. I played this at a party and everyone went bananas. The two tracks are “Atoms for Peace” and “And it Rained All Night.” Oh man, that previous sentence has “and and” in it. That’s really awkward. Thom Yorke was obviously not considering those individuals who wouldn’t have enough time to listen to individual songs, listen to both songs, and write an album review. Two words Thom: NEGATIVE PRESS.
“Harrowdown Hill” is a song T.Y. contributed to the horror film “Harrowdown Hill” staring Jennifer Love Hewitt. This song includes scary noises like doors creaking and a stranger walking around the kitchen. This song is rated PG-13 for scenes of violence and and brief male nudity.
And finally, the last song, “Cymbal Rush” is a 27 second recording of Thom checking his closet for vampires. You can hear him saying things like, “Are there any vampires in here?” and “Phew.” The albums ends with a half-hour of silence followed by someone coughing a lot.
To purchase the album, please visit your local Service Merchandise or Venture store location.
