• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Resident Evil has more unresolved sexual tension than any series in HISTORY *NSFW*

D

Deleted member 81567

Unconfirmed Member
I think a sex scene would make me look at the franchise in a very, very different way.
 
Rhazer Fusion

Rhazer Fusion

Member
Mister Wilhelm said:
Ok, so I just finished watching Resident Evil: Degeneration and it made me realize something: no two main characters in the entire running of the series have fucked.

re-latest-2-hunk-png.png


Now this is not uncommon in video games, even in series with more emotionally realistic designs. However, is there ANY game series that even comes close to putting more extremely hot straight-up alpha male/female characters in high stakes situation after life-threatening clusterfuck without ANYONE as much as coping a feel?

This series is one big cocktease after another.

The first Resident Evil wasn't so bad, but after the second it just got out of control.

Resident Evil 2?
Leon's series-long blue balls for Ada Wong is set into motion. Claire Redfield and Leon manage to escape the city after going through hell together and for some reason decide to part ways despite both being attractive, motivated people with a common goal and only each other to rely on. Nothing happens.

Resident Evil 3?
Jill and Carlos? Either Carlos dies or he escapes with you and is never heard from again. Either the T-virus installed teeth in Jill's vagina or Carlos somehow massively blew his chances despite being an attractive, motivated sexy foreigner with the accent, slick hair and everything. Nothing happens.

Resident Evil: Code Veronica?
If anything, Claire is perpetually trying to friend-zone Steve who wants nothing more than to dry hump her leg while crying about his parents. Still, Steve dies and NOTHING HAPPENS.

Resident Evil 0?
Billy Beefcake Coen and Rebecca Chambers are practically attached at the hip for 90% of this game and even though they clearly have time to at least make out at the end, they walk away. Yes, just walk away. AGAIN!

Resident Evil: Outbreak?
You're honestly trying to tell me that even with an entire group of survivors banded together knowing death could come at any second, no one brought up the possibility of a last-chance free-for-all sexathon?

Resident Evil 4?
Ada Wong, the defining RE tease returns to taunt Leon's misguided affection and even though being told by Ashely at the end of the game that she is totally DTF, he brushes it off like it isn't even a possibility.

And finally, Resident Evil 5.
Despite Sheva being a mega multi-racial hotty and Chris being a miraculously beefed-up testosterone machine, NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS!!! And let's be honest, if Wesker really was an insidiously evil villain and he managed to capture and install and mind control device into Jill, wouldn't he been even slightly interested in some kind of brain-washed hate bang? Come on, don't tell me it never crossed your mind.

And then there's the Degeneration movie I just finished...

Hot woman that Leon CLEARLY has feelings for: "Let's fuck...one day"

Leon: Sounds like a plan. (walks away and never speaks to her again)

REALLY?

REALLY??????

Bullshit. There is no way. There is no fucking way in the entire decade plus run of these plot lines that no one has slept together.

It's almost like Capcom purposely goes out of their way to turn every single main character in this franchise into some asexual weirdo.

The only excuse I can come up with is that after seeing so much genetic mutation, all of them are just nearly psychotically paranoid that they'll be getting it doggystyle and all of a sudden someone's cock is going to grow an eyeball and teeth and do some hentai-style damage on them and the thought of sex is so traumatic that they don't even consider it anymore.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...


Doesn't this apply to basically all video games???
 
D

Dynedom

Member
I'm laughing pretty hard at the breakdown in the OP. A+

Edit: In before Amirox posits that having the male and female characters in an RE series hook up devolves the story into one being suitable for the peasants of video game fiction fandom.
 
M

meadowrag

Banned
If I was a Resident Evil character, I imagine that I'd be going through some SERIOUS psychological trauma. Not sure I'd have the time or adequate mental health for sex.
 
M

Mister Wilhelm

Member
meadowrag said:
If I was a Resident Evil character, I imagine that I'd be going through some SERIOUS psychological trauma. Not sure I'd have the time or adequate mental health for sex.
Click to expand...

Dude that's the perfect time for sex.
 
B

beelzebozo

Jealous Bastard
when i was in middle school my friend told me if you found the MO disks as jill and saved chris in under two hours, she would suck his dick.

henceforth in my life receiving fellatio is referred to as "FINDING THE MO DISKS"
 
P

Patrick Bateman

Member
We even saw "The Flintstones XXX" and "This is not the Cosby Show" already. I think "Resident Evil XXX" is clearly missing.

With Tori Black as Jill Valentine.
 
B

branny

Member
Replicant said:
UNF. I'd climb him like a tree.
Click to expand...
Seriously, it took long enough for someone to mention how attractive he is. The entire bara community would collapse if he "resolved sexual tension" with a female. I'm pretty sure his large gay fanbase is perfectly happy with how things are at the moment.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

  • Poll
IGN: Resident Evil 5 simply can't be remade, at least not to the standards of Capcom's best work. So the answer is not to remake, but to rewrite.
2 3 4 5
247
18K
laynelane replied
Resident Evil 4’s Separate Ways Has A Small Download Size
News
9
5K
Gambit2483 replied
GameSpot: The Highs and Lows of Resident Evil in VR
Opinion Trailer VR
0
555
IbizaPocholo replied
Resident Evil 4: Separate Ways | Review Thread
Analysis Review
7
1K
Eiknarf replied
Avalanche Reviews: Every SINGLE Resident Evil Game Reviewed
Opinion Review Trailer
1
1K
Signal Rockets replied
Top Bottom