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My sons keep headbutting me

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bishoptl

Banstick Emeritus
Apparently I'm the guy to beat on around here. The five year old thinks nothing of running into my spine at full tilt with his head, and the newest one loves to whack daddy in the throat while riding in the carrier.

But if I was to start headbutting them in retaliation, who do you think the cops are going to drag away? Not the instigators.

Save me, Gary Bettman!
 
Just go to a interior design type shop and a Giant Wooden Spoon, makes for a good threatening.
 
Just calm down, bish. Everything will be okay. Just chill out and let us pantslessly appreciate this picture of Nicole Kidman on the toilet.

ews.jpg


mmmmmmmmmmm
 
You should stay in bed, wait till your five-year old comes to wake you up, and whatever he does, don't wake up! Act like your dead for like 20 minutes, or until he starts crying.

It works, trust me.
 
White Man said:
Just calm down, bish. Everything will be okay. Just chill out and let us pantslessly appreciate this picture of Nicole Kidman on the toilet.

?????????????????????????????????
mmmmmmmmmmm
Click to expand...

WTF IS THIS SHIT?
 
Trade your next two first round picks (read: children) to the Wild for Derek Boogaard.

Every superstar needs an enforcer, bish.
 
The next time the oldest tries to headbutt you, side step it and go for the headlock. You don't have to squeeze or anything, just immobilize the little punk! Hold him for a couple minutes until he begs for mercy.
 
Sounds about right, I'm always hearing stories about how rough I was with my father and uncles at that age, and my kid cousins love to play fight. So I say congrats on having healthy boys.
 
Greatness Gone said:
You should stay in bed, wait till your five-year old comes to wake you up, and whatever he does, don't wake up! Act like your dead for like 20 minutes, or until he starts crying.

It works, trust me.
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol
 
Since we are so close to xmas, this is what I'd do.

Put a note in a wrapped box with their name(s) on it. Put on the note that because they have been bad this year for head butting/whacking their father, and that they don't get any presents. Signed Santa.

:D
 
Do we still have time to get Bish a suit of armor for Christmas, then?
suit-of-armor.jpg

That should keep our beloved moderator safe from the pint-sized scourge tormenting him at home.
 
Greatness Gone said:
You should stay in bed, wait till your five-year old comes to wake you up, and whatever he does, don't wake up! Act like your dead for like 20 minutes, or until he starts crying.

It works, trust me.
Click to expand...

When I was a little kid my older sisters and brother used to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me mum and dad had died, and I was all disoriented and didn't know what was happening. That's pretty cruel actually, looking back...
 
Dynamite Shikoku said:
When I was a little kid my older sisters and brother used to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me mum and dad had died, and I was all disoriented and didn't know what was happening. That's pretty cruel actually, looking back...
Click to expand...

I am going to call you at 2am and do that
 
Dynamite Shikoku said:
When I was a little kid my older sisters and brother used to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me mum and dad had died, and I was all disoriented and didn't know what was happening. That's pretty cruel actually, looking back...
Click to expand...
WTFF
 
For some reason I'm reminded of that scene in Parenthood when Steve Martin's kid puts a bucket on his head and rams into the wall - then headbutts it over and over and over.....:lol
 
Would you feel alright wearing a hard piece of plastic on your back where they typically head butt you? Nothing teaches kids to stop doing something like a good concussion.
 
You need to stop these actions as quick as possible. The longer you wait the harder it will be to revert them. They do it because you let them do it. Teach them not to.

My aunt has this problem, maybe a little better than your case. Her toddlers just hit her and smack her and stuff and only when they hit her really hard will she react. I'm afraid how they will turn out later in life if she lets it continue.
 
(neutral) superbank
The definition of front-butt.
(Today, 02:00 AM)
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You better listen to him, he sounds like he has considerable experience in this area.
 
superbank said:
You need to stop these actions as quick as possible. The longer you wait the harder it will be to revert them. They do it because you let them do it. Teach them not to.

My aunt has this problem, maybe a little better than your case. Her toddlers just hit her and smack her and stuff and only when they hit her really hard will she react. I'm afraid how they will turn out later in life if she lets it continue.
Click to expand...
I've seen this too, but then the kid hitting the mom. They tought it was cute but it became worse and worse.
 
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