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My sons keep headbutting me

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bishoptl

Banstick Emeritus
Jun 6, 2004
29,794
13
0
Canada
Apparently I'm the guy to beat on around here. The five year old thinks nothing of running into my spine at full tilt with his head, and the newest one loves to whack daddy in the throat while riding in the carrier.

But if I was to start headbutting them in retaliation, who do you think the cops are going to drag away? Not the instigators.

Save me, Gary Bettman!
 

White Man

Member
Jun 9, 2004
25,039
4
1,460
Seattle, WA
Just calm down, bish. Everything will be okay. Just chill out and let us pantslessly appreciate this picture of Nicole Kidman on the toilet.



mmmmmmmmmmm
 
Aug 19, 2007
4,974
1
0
Hell.
You should stay in bed, wait till your five-year old comes to wake you up, and whatever he does, don't wake up! Act like your dead for like 20 minutes, or until he starts crying.

It works, trust me.
 

Verano

Reads Ace as Lace. May God have mercy on their soul
Sep 17, 2006
11,333
0
1,275
Bish, have you heard of Oedipus complex?
 

Fuzzery

Member
Mar 20, 2007
6,464
0
0
White Man said:
Just calm down, bish. Everything will be okay. Just chill out and let us pantslessly appreciate this picture of Nicole Kidman on the toilet.

?????????????????????????????????
mmmmmmmmmmm

WTF IS THIS SHIT?
 

Karakand

Member
Apr 24, 2006
41,598
1
1,520
USA
Trade your next two first round picks (read: children) to the Wild for Derek Boogaard.

Every superstar needs an enforcer, bish.
 

ZealousD

Makes world leading predictions like "The sun will rise tomorrow"
Apr 17, 2007
29,339
2
0
The next time the oldest tries to headbutt you, side step it and go for the headlock. You don't have to squeeze or anything, just immobilize the little punk! Hold him for a couple minutes until he begs for mercy.
 

Night_Trekker

Member
Jan 27, 2005
17,174
2
1,465
39
South Carolina
Greatness Gone said:
You should stay in bed, wait till your five-year old comes to wake you up, and whatever he does, don't wake up! Act like your dead for like 20 minutes, or until he starts crying.

It works, trust me.

:lol :lol :lol
 

Vormund

Member
Jun 9, 2004
5,026
0
0
Since we are so close to xmas, this is what I'd do.

Put a note in a wrapped box with their name(s) on it. Put on the note that because they have been bad this year for head butting/whacking their father, and that they don't get any presents. Signed Santa.

:D
 

Mr Nash

square pies = communism
Jun 8, 2004
5,033
1,245
1,835
Holy Terra
Do we still have time to get Bish a suit of armor for Christmas, then?

That should keep our beloved moderator safe from the pint-sized scourge tormenting him at home.
 

Dynamite Shikoku

Congratulations, you really deserve it!
Jun 10, 2004
14,891
3
0
Greatness Gone said:
You should stay in bed, wait till your five-year old comes to wake you up, and whatever he does, don't wake up! Act like your dead for like 20 minutes, or until he starts crying.

It works, trust me.

When I was a little kid my older sisters and brother used to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me mum and dad had died, and I was all disoriented and didn't know what was happening. That's pretty cruel actually, looking back...
 

Blackace

if you see me in a fight with a bear, don't help me fool, help the bear!
Jun 7, 2004
51,823
5
1,690
44
Tokyo, Japan
Dynamite Shikoku said:
When I was a little kid my older sisters and brother used to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me mum and dad had died, and I was all disoriented and didn't know what was happening. That's pretty cruel actually, looking back...

I am going to call you at 2am and do that
 

Fuzzery

Member
Mar 20, 2007
6,464
0
0
Dynamite Shikoku said:
When I was a little kid my older sisters and brother used to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me mum and dad had died, and I was all disoriented and didn't know what was happening. That's pretty cruel actually, looking back...
WTFF
 

GhaleonEB

Member
Jun 7, 2004
77,906
3
1,490
Oregon
For some reason I'm reminded of that scene in Parenthood when Steve Martin's kid puts a bucket on his head and rams into the wall - then headbutts it over and over and over.....:lol
 

ConfusingJazz

Member
Jun 30, 2004
24,135
0
0
Would you feel alright wearing a hard piece of plastic on your back where they typically head butt you? Nothing teaches kids to stop doing something like a good concussion.
 

superbank

The definition of front-butt.
Apr 5, 2007
3,995
0
0
You need to stop these actions as quick as possible. The longer you wait the harder it will be to revert them. They do it because you let them do it. Teach them not to.

My aunt has this problem, maybe a little better than your case. Her toddlers just hit her and smack her and stuff and only when they hit her really hard will she react. I'm afraid how they will turn out later in life if she lets it continue.
 

Fuzzery

Member
Mar 20, 2007
6,464
0
0
(neutral) superbank
The definition of front-butt.
(Today, 02:00 AM)
Reply | Quote

You better listen to him, he sounds like he has considerable experience in this area.
 

Tieno

Member
May 6, 2006
17,491
9
1,645
Belgium
superbank said:
You need to stop these actions as quick as possible. The longer you wait the harder it will be to revert them. They do it because you let them do it. Teach them not to.

My aunt has this problem, maybe a little better than your case. Her toddlers just hit her and smack her and stuff and only when they hit her really hard will she react. I'm afraid how they will turn out later in life if she lets it continue.
I've seen this too, but then the kid hitting the mom. They tought it was cute but it became worse and worse.
 
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