• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

The curse of fat hides our penises

Status
Not open for further replies.
O

Otrebor Nightmarecoat

Banned
Every fat person knows his fat covers his penis. A normal size penis is reduced to an 3 inch clit because of that fat above the genitalia. The potential is there, its just that we prefer taco bell over satisfying a woman. The fix is simple, loosing some goddamn weight. Easier said than done. Food is our antidepressant, Its the instrument of our cowardly slow suicide. We need it to hide memories that need to be dealt with.

When my fingers press two keys ast the same time I reflect on what I did wrong in life, what boooty i could tap if I my breasts wouldn't jiggle every time i make a sudden movement. Women and sports are alien to me. Just yesterday my ass was itchy and I scratched it with my bed cover. I left poo stains on it. I cant run a mile before vomiting cheetos. I have no neck. The only things left for me to complete a stereotype are being a nintendo retard and playing too much WoW.

Being fat sucks. Being a whiny fat message board fuck sucks more.

I9tbu.png
 
C

Cloudy

Banned
Just yesterday my ass was itchy and I scratched it with my bed cover. I left poo stains on it.
Click to expand...

WTF? Well, at least you recognize you have a weight problem. That's the first step...
 
C

CrushDance

Banned
Otrebor Nightmarecoat said:
Every fat person knows his fat covers his penis. A normal size penis is reduced to an 3 inch clit because of that fat above the genitalia. The potential is there, its just that we prefer taco bell over satisfying a woman. The fix is simple, loosing some goddamn weight. Easier said than done. Food is our antidepressant, Its the instrument of our cowardly slow suicide. We need it to hide memories that need to be dealt with.

When my fingers press two keys ast the same time I reflect on what I did wrong in life, what boooty i could tap if I my breasts wouldn't jiggle every time i make a sudden movement. Women and sports are alien to me. Just yesterday my ass was itchy and I scratched it with my bed cover. I left poo stains on it. I cant run a mile before vomiting cheetos. I have no neck. The only things left for me to complete a stereotype are being a nintendo retard and playing too much WoW.

Being fat sucks. Being a whiny fat message board fuck sucks more.

I9tbu.png
Click to expand...
I'm going to be sick.

Edit: You're not serious, are you?!
 
D

DarkKyo

Member
I was once fat like you. Then I cut that shit out and have become a vastly different person because of it. I highly recommend it.

Edit: though I was never nearly as disgusting as you.. ew!
 
F

Fio

Member
I have a friend who's a plastic surgeon and he told me that by every 7kg in excessive fat a man "loses" 1 centimeter of his penis.
 
S

spindashing

Banned
LabouredSubterfuge said:
There's someone for everyone.

E8JAj.jpg
Click to expand...

oh my GOD DUDE

my computer loaded this shit like dialup

her face was okay considering it could be worse

top was okay ... once again it could be worse and boobs are okay.

then I saw that ... that ................. THAT .................

My dick was like ^_^ then it turned to >_<

WHAT THE SHIT
 
Z

ZAK

Member
One day before showering, I looked in a mirror, humped the air, and watched my fat jiggle. It disgusted me. After that I decided to lose some weight and went on a harsh diet.
 
B

Blader

Member
spindashing said:
oh my GOD DUDE

my computer loaded this shit like dialup

her face was okay considering it could be worse

top was okay ... once again it could be worse and boobs are okay.

then I saw that ... that ................. THAT .................

My dick was like ^_^ then it turned to >_<

WHAT THE SHIT
Click to expand...
:lol :lol :lol
 
S

spindashing

Banned
For the record, I was morbidly obese before. I'm still big, but I'm still gettin' smaller. If this is a troll OP, then nevermind -- but if it is true, dude do yourself the favor of eating right and working out. Losing weight starts in your mind -- then it starts in the kitchen. Fix your eating habits, then work out. You will feel so much better about yourself. I have more friends, and I am more social; I attribute this all to my decision to lose weight.
 
S

Snuggles

erotic butter maelstrom
spindashing said:
For the record, I was morbidly obese before. I'm still big, but I'm still gettin' smaller. If this is a troll OP, then nevermind -- but if it is true, dude do yourself the favor of eating right and working out. Losing weight starts in your mind -- then it starts in the kitchen. Fix your eating habits, then work out. You will feel so much better about yourself. I have more friends, and I am more social; I attribute this all to my decision to lose weight.
Click to expand...

or just get a rascal scooter and go wild

yWzZb.jpg
 
X

X26

Banned
I've always wondered, how do really fat guys masturbate? Do you just try to wrap your dick up in your lowest roll and use the fat like some sort of fleshlight?
 
DonMigs85

DonMigs85

Member
I'm pretty plump, but I still have a neck and fortunately my face isn't fat. I just hate these moobs and my belly folds, which are thankfully shrinking bit by bit each week.
 
M

Mario

Sidhe / PikPok
I seem to recall for about every 22 pounds overweight you are, you effectively lose about 1 inch off your penis as a rough ratio.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

The all encompassing character looks discussion thread....
39
4K
Vaelka replied
Kotaku bitching about CoD Vanguard - it's too woke, apparently, to the point it defies history ... *SPOILERS*
Opinion Spoilers Drama 2 3 4 5
204
28K
Spukc replied
I Had a Pilonidal Cyst Removed Today
2 3
132
24K
maximum360 replied
2014 : Go F**k Yourself
2 3 4 5
244
31K
LiquidNarwhal replied
COMICS!!! |OT| February 2017 All You Need is Love (and Rockets)
85 86 87 88 89
4K
209K
BKatastrophe replied
Top Bottom