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ComputerMKII · Dec 1, 2012

Franziska Hansen, 'Charged With Attempted Murder After Tim Schmidt Claims She Tried To Smother Him With 38DD Breasts'

A 33-year-old woman has been accused of trying to kill her lover by suffocating him with her 38DD breasts.

Tim Schmidt, 30, claims Franziska Hansen tried to end his life because she was jealous of his career as a lawyer, while she struggled to find work.

Hansen, who weighs nine stone, denies the allegations, and insists the pair were taking part in consensual sex game at their home in Unna.

She is charged with attempted murder with a weapon.

According to the Mail Online's German correspondent Allan Hall, Schmidt told the court: "The incident happened in May we were having sex.

"She was sitting on me naked and I was kissing her breasts. Suddenly she grabbed my head and pushed between her breasts with all of her force.

"I couldn't breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn't tear myself free and I thought I was going to die."

He added: "It is clear she wanted to kill me. She even admitted it to me on the telephone. I asked her why she wanted to smother me to death with her breasts and she told me: 'Treasure I wanted your death to be as pleasurable as possible.'"

Schmidt, who weighs 13 stone, claims he was able to wriggle free and flee naked to raise the alarm.

In 1996 a physical therapist filed a lawsuit against a strip club where he had held his bachelor party.

Paul Shimkonis alleged dancer Tawny Peaks thrust her 69HH surgically enhanced breasts into his face, causing his head to jerk backwards and resulting in injuries.

Court documents posted on The Smoking Gun revealed Shimkonis had claimed $15,000 in damages, for among other things, "mental anguish".

The case was heard live on TV's People's Court, with Judge Ed Koch rejecting Shimkonis' claims.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/201...r-boyfriend-smother-dd-breasts_n_2190794.html

maquiladora · Dec 1, 2012

Fracas · Dec 1, 2012

That's not the breast situation to be in.

GhostWriter24 · Dec 1, 2012

Groundbreaking case.

BY2K · Dec 1, 2012

Oh, she tried to kill him with her breasts.

I read it has the BOYFRIEND had breasts.

Devolution · Dec 1, 2012

182 lb woman. Wonder how much of that is tits.

shadyspace · Dec 1, 2012

Devolution said:
182 lb woman. Wonder how much of that is tits.

At least 2/3rds

Camp Lo · Dec 1, 2012

Mordeccai · Dec 1, 2012

holy shit, first G-A-F story I've seen in a few weeks that wasn't from Florida.

It felt nice to be proven wrong.

Reiko · Dec 1, 2012

Great weapons of mass distraction

xbhaskarx · Dec 1, 2012

He must have unpleasant mammaries of that night....

braves01 · Dec 1, 2012

There you go OP. The avatar quote you wanted.

Tedesco! · Dec 1, 2012

She was trying to get him tits up.

ComputerMKII · Dec 1, 2012

Devolution said:
182 lb woman. Wonder how much of that is tits.

A quick search with the name 'Franziska Hansen' gave me this picture:

braves01 said:
There you go OP. The avatar quote you wanted.

Camp Lo · Dec 1, 2012

braves01 said:
There you go OP. The avatar quote you wanted.

A Pretty Panda · Dec 1, 2012

saltywalrus · Dec 1, 2012

Devolution said:
182 lb woman. Wonder how much of that is tits.

She weighs 126 lbs.

SMT · Dec 1, 2012

How creepy is this England.

frye · Dec 1, 2012

Devolution said:
182 lb woman. Wonder how much of that is tits.

shadyspace said:
At least 2/3rds

She weighs 9 stone and according to google, that's only 126 pounds.

e: beaten

Hieberrr · Dec 1, 2012

Computer said:
A quick search with the name 'Franziska Hansen' gave me this picture:

EDIT: Beaten.

out0v0rder · Dec 1, 2012

theres worse ways to go

Reiko · Dec 1, 2012

Computer said:
A quick search with the name 'Franziska Hansen' gave me this picture:

This is her too...

Nice.

EDIT: Those look like F cups...

ronito · Dec 1, 2012

Devolution said:
182 lb woman. Wonder how much of that is tits.

At 10 pounds a piece I'd say 20 pounds.

Jburton · Dec 1, 2012

When it is my time to go, I require my end to be by a lovely big pair of breasts.

Natural tits of course.

Camp Lo · Dec 1, 2012

out0v0rder said:
theres worse ways to go

Dat SNU SNU

ReturnOfTheRAT · Dec 1, 2012

People would pay for that.

Devolution · Dec 1, 2012

Oh he's 13 stone. Read that wrong. How was he not able to push her off?

SMT · Dec 1, 2012

Those boobies were debilitating, and he was probably given a sedative.

Guevara · Dec 1, 2012

It was the breast of times it was the bworst of times

toxicgonzo · Dec 1, 2012

out0v0rder said:
theres worse ways to go

How is this not first post?

Degen · Dec 1, 2012

so the moral is either that you absolutely should not date crazy or that you absolutely should.

...

i feel none the wiser

Viewt · Dec 1, 2012

Fun Fact: My aunt, Doris Wishman made a movie about the same premise called Deadly Weapons.

Akkad · Dec 1, 2012

Fuck this guy, I would love to be smothered with tits.

out0v0rder · Dec 1, 2012

i would not resist.

Alligatorjandro · Dec 1, 2012

death by titties

ViewtifulJC · Dec 1, 2012

I read the "DD" in the title as Daredevil

first-look-at-daredevil-18-by-chris-samnee-L-T2MIsV.jpeg

Gotta say OP, you dropped the ball on this one

out0v0rder · Dec 1, 2012

Viewt said:
Fun Fact: My aunt, Doris Wishman made a movie about the same premise called Deadly Weapons.

i know she is your aunt and all but...may she breast in peace.

Reiko · Dec 1, 2012

Viewt said:
Fun Fact: My aunt, Doris Wishman made a movie about the same premise called Deadly Weapons.

And now for a Breast Man, #Random fact.

Abbi Secraa is the modern day Chesty Morgan. (Both from Poland, All natural too)

Toppot · Dec 1, 2012

Float like a heffalump, sting like a double D

xbhaskarx said:
He must have unpleasant mammaries of that night....

I just wanted to say I appreciated this joke

Viewt · Dec 1, 2012

out0v0rder said:
i know she is your aunt and all but...may she breast in peace.

Haha, she actually would've gotten a kick out of that. She was a very sweet, funny lady.

Rhomega Beta · Dec 1, 2012

Tim Schmidt, 30, claims Franziska Hansen tried to end his life because she was jealous of his career as a lawyer, while she struggled to find work.

Yeah, that'll help her get a job!

She is charged with attempted murder with a weapon.

Does she have to register her breasts as deadly weapons now?

braves01 · Dec 1, 2012

Viewt said:
Haha, she actually would've gotten a kick out of that. She was a very sweet, funny lady.

Did she ever get them reduced? It seems like they would daily life difficult.

Nakazato · Dec 1, 2012

My ex had 42DDs and i was always worried about that when sleeping

Reiko · Dec 1, 2012

braves01 said:
Did she ever get them reduced? It seems like they would daily life difficult.

His aunt wasn't Chesty Morgan. lol

She's still alive actually.

Viewt · Dec 1, 2012

braves01 said:
Did she ever get them reduced? It seems like they would daily life difficult.

Haha, yeah, Reiko's right. My aunt was Doris Wishman - she directed that film and a bunch of others. Here's a very young Jonathan Ross interviewing her:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uayCdDcUI8

ComputerMKII · Dec 1, 2012

Nakazato said:
My ex had 42DDs and i was always worried about that when sleeping

There are worse things to worry about.

YoungHav · Dec 1, 2012

I honestly couldn't think of a better way to go.

braves01 · Dec 1, 2012

Reiko said:
His aunt wasn't Chesty Morgan. lol

She's still alive actually.

lol. My next question was going to be if holidays were weird because her boobs were so big. Never heard of Chesty before.

Chet Rippo · Dec 1, 2012

I don't see the problem here.

SteeloDMZ · Dec 1, 2012

I wouldn't mind dying like that.

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