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jax · Feb 23, 2015

Sup GAF. So recently this guy has been coming into my work (a restaurant) for the sole purpose of hitting on one of my co-workers. He doesn't even buy anything. The first day he came in, he very bluntly asked her if she was single. (Who even does this to someone they have never met? The dude isn't even remotely attractive. His source of confidence is quite questionable) She politely let him know that she was not single, but this dude just keeps trying to talk to her, to the point where I have to intercept and kind of veer him away. We thought it was a one time isolated incident, but he keeps coming back. My co-worker is now fearful he isn't right in the head or something and is afraid to walk to her car.

What should she say to him? She's already made it quite clear how she feels but he won't take the hint.

terrisus · Feb 23, 2015

Has she tried telling him that she's not interested in him?
And/or that she doesn't want to talk to him?

Some people can't take a hint, and need to be figuratively beat over the head with the obvious.

Unbounded · Feb 23, 2015

terrisus said:
Has she tried telling him that she's not interested in him?
And/or that she doesn't want to talk to him?

Some people can't take a hint, and need to be figuratively beat over the head with the obvious.

This.

Also:

jaxapollo said:
(Who even does this to someone they have never met? The dude isn't even remotely attractive. His source of confidence is quite questionable)

What is this.

freshair · Feb 23, 2015

Stern and to the point.

"Please don't come in here again. I'm not interested."

And if he does it again, gotta get management and/or the police involved

deejay8595 · Feb 23, 2015

jaxapollo said:
Sup GAF. So recently this guy has been coming into my work (a restaurant) for the sole purpose of hitting on one of my co-workers. He doesn't even buy anything. The first day he came in, he very bluntly asked her if she was single. (Who even does this to someone they have never met? The dude isn't even remotely attractive. His source of confidence is quite questionable) She politely let him know that she was not single, but this dude just keeps trying to talk to her, to the point where I have to intercept and kind of veer him away. We thought it was a one time isolated incident, but he keeps coming back. My co-worker is now fearful he isn't right in the head or something and is afraid to walk to her car.

What should she say to him? She's already made it quite clear how she feels but he won't take the hint.

Seriously? Who are you to even think this?

Wreck-It Ralph · Feb 23, 2015

This used to be me.

After a while I finally got the hint and now I just assume that nobody will ever be interested in me so I won't bother anyone like that again.

Wolves Evolve · Feb 23, 2015

Ban him from the store for a start, and tell him the police have been involved. Zero tolerance.

Wag · Feb 23, 2015

Tell him straight out she's not interested. If that doesn't work and he becomes more aggressive tell him if he doesn't leave her alone you're going to call the cops.

Wazzy · Feb 23, 2015

If she does have to tell him to leave her alone make sure someone is with her since he might become aggressive.

I completely understand why she is scared because some people react nuts when rejected.

PlayALLtheGames · Feb 23, 2015

This is your chance bruh. Step to that clown and be like, "Yo, buddy, the gal says she ain't interested." If it works you'll look like a bit of a badass, and if you take one to the chin then the girl will feel bad and you might get laid (jk, that's never the case).

mdubs · Feb 23, 2015

Careful OP, he probably posts here

PlayALLtheGames said:
This is your chance bruh. Step to that clown and be like, "Yo, buddy, the gal says she ain't interested." If it works you'll look like a bit of a badass, and if you take one to the chin then the girl will feel bad and you might get laid (jk, that's never the case).

Also this

Makki · Feb 23, 2015

Wish I remembered more details so I could find the thread about the dude who would hound some poor girl at a restaurant and would buy her food. He kept saying that he thought the lady that always spoke to him to stop him from harassing the girl he was after was into him.

This totally seems like the reverse of that. I say be blunt about it and tell him he is scaring the girl he is after and if he isn't purchasing anything that he is loitering and needs to leave.

george_us · Feb 23, 2015

terrisus said:
Has she tried telling him that she's not interested in him?
And/or that she doesn't want to talk to him?

Some people can't take a hint, and need to be figuratively beat over the head with the obvious.

How can you not get the meaning of "No I'm not single."? Unless her following sentence went something like,"I do enjoy swinging though.", her meaning is pretty damn clear.

Maiden Voyage · Feb 23, 2015

Could you get management involved?

Producer · Feb 23, 2015

Hurt his feelings.

Something like "she thinks you're fucking ugly lmao"

freenudemacusers · Feb 23, 2015

Hey op you can be ugly and confident. I mean I dont have any first hand experience with that of course.

Tagyhag · Feb 23, 2015

He sounds like a jerk. You seem mean too OP.

terrisus · Feb 23, 2015

george_us said:
How can you not get the meaning of "No I'm not single."? Unless her following sentence went something like,"I do enjoy swinging though.", her meaning is pretty damn clear.

Because no one has ever left a relationship to be with someone else?
And no one has ever cheated in a relationship?

outunderthestars · Feb 23, 2015

Hang on. Why is this your business to handle? Do you have a thing for her and are hoping to impress her?

Also, this is an issue for her and the management of the company.

NaturalHigh · Feb 23, 2015

Not even remotely attractive and full of confidence? Damn it must be hard to deal with ugly people with positive attitudes, OP.

JordanN · Feb 23, 2015

"Back off buddy, I had my eyes on her first."

He wont like competition.

Necromanti · Feb 23, 2015

miku the prodigy said:
Hurt his feelings.

Something like "she thinks you're fucking ugly lmao"

There's a subgroup of the people who refuse to take a hint and never pick up on the obvious cues of "no thanks" that react to something more direct or aggressive in an...unfavorable manner. This can include stalking, threats, and/or violence. People can be scary and unpredictable. Then again, refusing to take no as an answer to begin with is a warning sign as it is.

Weiss · Feb 23, 2015

Has he tried telling her he's a really, really nice guy? It's a foolproof plan.

TheRedSnifit · Feb 23, 2015

terrisus said:
Because no one has ever left a relationship to be with someone else?
And no one has ever cheated in a relationship?

I would think most people considering cheating on their partner aren't super up-front about it.

User 73706 · Feb 23, 2015

mdubs said:
Careful OP, he probably posts here

beat me to it

entremet · Feb 23, 2015

outunderthestars said:
Hang on. Why is this your business to handle? Do you have a thing for her and are hoping to impress her?

Also, this is an issue for her and the management of the company.

Yep. She's a grown woman after all.

Renekton · Feb 23, 2015

outunderthestars said:
Hang on. Why is this your business to handle? Do you have a thing for her and are hoping to impress her?

Also, this is an issue for her and the management of the company.

Yea... seems better to bring it up to management rather than take matters into your own hands.

The One and Done · Feb 23, 2015

Guys need to realize that there are too many X chromosomes out there to waste more than a minute trying to secure one that isn't interested. Get in where you fit in.

Pau · Feb 23, 2015

terrisus said:
Because no one has ever left a relationship to be with someone else?
And no one has ever cheated in a relationship?

Why even ask the question if people are just gonna ignore the answer or rationalize it like this if it's not what they want to hear? People like that will rationalize "No, I don't like you" too.

InfiniteBento · Feb 23, 2015

Be as cut and dry as possible before it escalates any further.

Log4Girlz · Feb 23, 2015

Discuss with management how they want it handled. I wouldn't accept unwanted advances on my employees. If they will not stop after being told their behavior is unacceptable, regardless if they are buying something or not, I would have them banned.

deejay8595 · Feb 23, 2015

The One and Done;153252329 said:
Guys need to realize that there are too many X chromosomes out there to waste more than a minute trying to secure one that isn't interested. Get in where you fit in.

Truth!

george_us · Feb 23, 2015

terrisus said:
Because no one has ever left a relationship to be with someone else?
And no one has ever cheated in a relationship?

People looking to cheat generally just lie about their relationship status. At least from my experience.

norm9 · Feb 23, 2015

I'll tell you what you want to hear- You should be the one to save her from this dude.

royalan · Feb 23, 2015

jaxapollo said:
Sup GAF. So recently this guy has been coming into my work (a restaurant) for the sole purpose of hitting on one of my co-workers. He doesn't even buy anything. The first day he came in, he very bluntly asked her if she was single. (Who even does this to someone they have never met? The dude isn't even remotely attractive. His source of confidence is quite questionable) She politely let him know that she was not single, but this dude just keeps trying to talk to her, to the point where I have to intercept and kind of veer him away. We thought it was a one time isolated incident, but he keeps coming back. My co-worker is now fearful he isn't right in the head or something and is afraid to walk to her car.

What should she say to him? She's already made it quite clear how she feels but he won't take the hint.

1) You should stay out of it. She's an adult, let her handle her own business.

2) If you have to tell her something, tell her to be polite yet blunt. She should tell him she's not single, she's in a loving committed relationship, and she's not interested. Thank you. Don't sugarcoat it. Don't be cryptic. No whiny voice. Just a straight, "I'm not interested, sorry..."

JordanN · Feb 23, 2015

Also, what does the person look like? Someone who has time to go to a restaurant and do nothing doesn't sound like a productive person.

Africanus · Feb 23, 2015

InfiniteBento said:
Be as cut and dry as possible before it escalates any further.

This is the best course of action.
I would suggest, if (once) that fails, to threaten police action against the said individual.

Izuna · Feb 23, 2015

I hate it when people do this, tell him back bluntly, don't be nice. People like that are hopeful so they will try and be as optimistic as possible. Yeah they aren't taking a hint, but there's nothing so hard with hurting that dude's feelings if they're really not interested.

Husker86 · Feb 23, 2015

no that's not a real thread...but it could be!

Wazzy · Feb 23, 2015

izunadono said:
I hate it when people do this, tell him back bluntly, don't be nice. People like that are hopeful so they will try and be as optimistic as possible. Yeah they aren't taking a hint, but there's nothing so hard with hurting that dude's feelings if they're really not interested.

Except it's not that simple. A lot of these people are unpredictable with how they'll react and she's obviously afraid of him.

Social · Feb 23, 2015

Girls that can't be straight forward.

Izuna · Feb 23, 2015

Wazzy said:
Except it's not that simple. A lot of these people are unpredictable with how they'll react and she's obviously afraid of him.

If it really has got to that point, get management involved.

Vicetrailia · Feb 23, 2015

Gotta be blunt and cut him down in plain words. The guy is not respectful and so now you gotta be real/raw. If that doesn't work, ban him from the store.

outunderthestars · Feb 23, 2015

Husker86 said:
no that's not a real thread...but it could be!

Didn't we have someone make a thread exactly like that. It was someone who is REALLY into Korean women and kept going into a restaurant to bring the staff food and hit on them.

izunadono said:
If it really has got to that point, get management involved.

This is really the only correct answer. Management really needs to be made aware of the matter, and then they can take address it.

Theecliff · Feb 23, 2015

BramVD said:
Girls that can't be straight forward.

She told him he was in a relationship. I'm sorry, but you can't really be any more blunt then that whilst trying to stay polite. Guy clearly should back off.

GK86 · Feb 23, 2015

Lol, hating on the man's confidence.

royalan · Feb 23, 2015

Wazzy said:
Except it's not that simple. A lot of these people are unpredictable with how they'll react and she's obviously afraid of him.

And she shouldn't be. The guy hasn't done anything yet to in any way indicate that he's "not right in the head" and potentially capable of violence. If you're going to be this afraid of the world, why even bother leaving your house?

Not getting the hint, as annoying as it is, is also pretty normal and happens all the time. Until the girl grows a spine and tells him flat out that she's not interested, you can't really say the guy is being crazy.

adamsappel · Feb 23, 2015

Makki said:
Wish I remembered more details so I could find the thread about the dude who would hound some poor girl at a restaurant and would buy her food. He kept saying that he thought the lady that always spoke to him to stop him from harassing the girl he was after was into him.

This totally seems like the reverse of that. I say be blunt about it and tell him he is scaring the girl he is after and if he isn't purchasing anything that he is loitering and needs to leave.

When a third-party gets involved, the stalker convinces himself that there's some agenda for doing so. The girl really needs to make it clear. But there's nothing wrong with OP letting the stalker know she has an ally.

Or call the cops. Make a report and the next time he shows up, he's repeating the offense. The guy isn't even a customer, the owner loses nothing but a criminal distraction.

outunderthestars said:
Hang on. Why is this your business to handle? Do you have a thing for her and are hoping to impress her?

Also, this is an issue for her and the management of the company.

It's alright to be concerned about your co-workers. It doesn't mean you want to come to their rescue and win their hand.

terrisus · Feb 23, 2015

Pau said:
Why even ask the question if people are just gonna ignore the answer or rationalize it like this if it's not what they want to hear? People like that will rationalize "No, I don't like you" too.

george_us said:
People looking to cheat generally just lie about their relationship status. At least from my experience.

My point is just, if one hasn't said "I'm not interested in you" and/or "Please stop talking to me," that would be a good course of action, as opposed to saying "Well, this other thing should imply that..."

norm9 · Feb 23, 2015

GK86 said:
Lol, hating on the man's confidence.

But he's UGLY!

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