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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

E

Etrian Oddity

Member
Last minute flake again, I dunno anymore.
laugh.gif
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Funky Papa said:
Well, there are also shared interests taken from Facebook and a short description where you can explain who you are and what do you want.

Alas, plenty of people leave that last one blank. Why, I'll never know. I personally try to keep it short, concise and funny. Whenever I see a girl with a huge ass introduction I'm like "lady, this is Tinder".
Click to expand...
This made me lol. Mines is basically my default Facebook profile bio which is funny to begin with and has gotten me messages from girls out of the blue. Since I have an uncommon Spanish name that gets constantly mispronounced, this is what I wrote:

"I swear pronouncing my name is one of the great mysteries of this world to non-Spanish speaking people."
Click to expand...

Regarding your question having been on both sides of it, I can say that I'm selective about the types of girls I respond to. I entertain the ones that I don't want it to lead anywhere and pursue a full fledged back and forth with ones that I'm interested. That and I'm usually overwhelmed responding to other messages that I forget.

On the flip side of that, to echo what viccisitudes said, girls that don't respond to your messages are looking to stroke their egos. I got into asking about a girl's job and she took offense to it when I asked how it worked that she said it was complicated. I tried changing the subject, she stopped replying. Her loss.
freshair said:
I like to think of the "first" date as the 0th date. You're just there to get to know the person and get a feel for them / if they're like their pictures / personality. If a first kiss happens because of crazy chemistry, then it happens. If it doesn't, that's fine too.

Once everything checks out and you're both comfortable with each other and agree on a second date, that's where things are a bit more comfortable and natural. It's where a kiss is expected (or so I've heard) if things are planning on going anywhere. Preferably you shouldn't wait until the very end because then you're just going to build up this unnecessary anxiety.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately, I tried going for a kiss on the second date with the red head I saw last week at very end but she wasn't having any of it. I think she was looking for a bar hopping buddy in the end of the day. I deleted her number and moved on. So far all the girls are really reserved so unless I end up going out with an outgoing/aggressive girl, the first date is going to be slow paced.
Smiley90 said:
Go straight for the hug, I'm telling you. Establishes physical contact right away and makes you seem way more friendly than a handshake. Never had anyone recoil.
Click to expand...
See it's funny because yesterday's date started with a hug and ended with a hug so I suppose it's supposed to come full circle.

To my defense regarding handshakes, in my experience if I'm not particularly feeling a girl, I'll end things with a handshake to keep my distance but at the same time keep it cordial. Plus to some degree, I'm not used to hugging girls still but it's getting there.
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Honestly, I wouldn't mind some bar hopping buddies. Not every date has to end in a relationship. Most of my friends are married or busy with work these days, and having drinking pals of the female persuasion opens a lot of doors. At very least you can have some fun.

Edit: Actually, my best drinking buddy ever was a girl. We dated for a short while before losing contact, but our drunken escapades are the stuff of the legends. Finding a girl who can drink me under the table is one of my life goals.
 
H

HGStormy

Banned
Online dating doesn't work if you're an unattractive, socially awkward, clingy, moody and uneducated person.
Cough cough cough
 
G

geestack

Member
Just had my first experience getting stood up! Even texted her the day before to confirm, and she was all aboard. Now though, she's gone dark. Even tried messaging her on OKC to make sure it wasn't some freak thing but no dice.

Oh well, still got Saturday to look forward to, so I didn't totally waste my time getting my hair cut. So fresh and so clean.
 
j0hnnix

j0hnnix

Member
Ok. Is it bad that I don't care , maybe that's not the right way of saying it... I lose interest extremely quickly? I guess I take it all with a grain of salt. I msg one yesterday , talked, and today just lost interest to pursue.
 
G

geestack

Member
Today has been super hilarious, almost unbelievably so. So, despite getting stood up, I decide to stay at the beer garden where we decided to meet up since there's live music and alcohol. I'm busy enjoying myself solo when I suddenly get a message from OKC. I open my phone and a girl has liked my profile and sent a message saying that she likes my taste in books and tv and proceeds to introduce herself. As I'm thinking of how this day has been exceptionally weird, I suddenly get another message from the same girl. The text, literally copied and pasted here, is this:

"Actually, I just read the rest of your profile. Kind of annoying. Nevermind, don't message me, not interested."

Just after reading that, she disables her account, which I guess means she blocked me? Anyway, I probably had the most wtf? look on my face, but it was an appropriate end to a weird day.

MKFisGJ.gif
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
whoaaaaaaaa

that's.... wow. Sorry to hear that dude. Try not to dwell on it, you wouldn't have wanted to date that kind of girl anyway.
 
F

Five

Banned
At least she was honest, and didn't drag it out to save face.

If somebody blocks you, you can still see their profile. If it says her profile is no longer there, it was either deleted or disabled.
 
E

Etrian Oddity

Member
freshair said:
How last minute and how many times!?
Click to expand...
About an hour before. And let's just say I've gotten probably like twelve girls' numbers from OKC and none have gone through with a date. I swear I'm not some caveman who can't talk to girls, but I am forever alone or something man.
laugh.gif
 
G

geestack

Member
Smiley90 said:
whoaaaaaaaa

that's.... wow. Sorry to hear that dude. Try not to dwell on it, you wouldn't have wanted to date that kind of girl anyway.
Click to expand...

Honestly, it was pretty hilarious, I probably looked a little demented laughing. But, it's fine, all in the game and everything.

Enough about my experiences though, I think I'm gonna send a few messages and maybe cool down a little. Need to save some dollars for next month, going on vacation and money is more important for that!
 
K

Kyne

Member
geestack said:
Today has been super hilarious, almost unbelievably so. So, despite getting stood up, I decide to stay at the beer garden where we decided to meet up since there's live music and alcohol. I'm busy enjoying myself solo when I suddenly get a message from OKC. I open my phone and a girl has liked my profile and sent a message saying that she likes my taste in books and tv and proceeds to introduce herself. As I'm thinking of how this day has been exceptionally weird, I suddenly get another message from the same girl. The text, literally copied and pasted here, is this:

"Actually, I just read the rest of your profile. Kind of annoying. Nevermind, don't message me, not interested."

Just after reading that, she disables her account, which I guess means she blocked me? Anyway, I probably had the most wtf? look on my face, but it was an appropriate end to a weird day.

MKFisGJ.gif
Click to expand...

o.o now I'm curious as to what was at the end of your profile that scared her off. Any ideas?
 
davepoobond

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
geestack said:
Today has been super hilarious, almost unbelievably so. So, despite getting stood up, I decide to stay at the beer garden where we decided to meet up since there's live music and alcohol. I'm busy enjoying myself solo when I suddenly get a message from OKC. I open my phone and a girl has liked my profile and sent a message saying that she likes my taste in books and tv and proceeds to introduce herself. As I'm thinking of how this day has been exceptionally weird, I suddenly get another message from the same girl. The text, literally copied and pasted here, is this:

"Actually, I just read the rest of your profile. Kind of annoying. Nevermind, don't message me, not interested."

Just after reading that, she disables her account, which I guess means she blocked me? Anyway, I probably had the most wtf? look on my face, but it was an appropriate end to a weird day.

MKFisGJ.gif
Click to expand...


WOW
 
E

EloquentM

aka Mannny
geestack said:
Details, man!
Click to expand...
This isn't my first foray into OKC as I've had a girlfriend by it and a girl I was talking to for a while by it but this time is looking to be very promising. No red flags what so ever so far (still early though) gonna ask her on a date soon.

She's that 91% GAF told me not to get too worked up about 😒. All the other girls basically flaked or were uninteresting. She's fucking rad though. Uncanny how similar we are. It's very surreal. Many times throughout the past couple of days I've been pinching myself. She accused me of cat fishing her by saing i was too good to be true. All in all it's been a pretty awesome experience. So I'll just go with the flow and see where this goes.
 
G

geestack

Member
EloquentM said:
This isn't my first foray into OKC as I've had a girlfriend by it and a girl I was talking to for a while by it but this time is looking to be very promising. No red flags what so ever so far (still early though) gonna ask her on a date soon.

She's that 91% GAF told me not to get too worked up about ��. All the other girls basically flaked or were uninteresting. She's fucking rad though. Uncanny how similar we are. It's very surreal. Many times throughout the past couple of days I've been pinching myself. She accused me of cat fishing her by saing i was too good to be true. All in all it's been a pretty awesome experience. So I'll just go with the flow and see where this goes.
Click to expand...

Awesome man, keep it up, sounds like you got it locked down.

Kyne said:
o.o now I'm curious as to what was at the end of your profile that scared her off. Any ideas?
Click to expand...

I have no idea, first time someone's made that comment. I can link my profile, but maybe it's just the fact that I put in some corny things or whatever. Maybe it's my admittedly hipster music taste? But everyone loves Prince!
 
davepoobond

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
so this quickmatch thing on okcupid, i noticed someone has a star that says they "like me too"

how much more likely is it to get a response in this case, or does it really not help at all?
 
F

Five

Banned
davepoobond said:
so this quickmatch thing on okcupid, i noticed someone has a star that says they "like me too"

how much more likely is it to get a response in this case, or does it really not help at all?
Click to expand...

Considerably more likely. The most likely cases of not getting a response are 1) you were accidentally liked or 2) your message really sucks, both of which are unlikely.
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
davepoobond said:
so this quickmatch thing on okcupid, i noticed someone has a star that says they "like me too"

how much more likely is it to get a response in this case, or does it really not help at all?
Click to expand...

Abe Bly said:
Considerably more likely. The most likely cases of not getting a response are 1) you were accidentally liked or 2) your message really sucks, both of which are unlikely.
Click to expand...

.

It's like a Tinder swipe-right, only a much stronger signal (since in Tinder that's really all girls can do, here it's an extra).
 
davepoobond

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
cool thanks. i thought it was useless since the "Who Likes You" tab was A-List only, but i guess i just have to actually rate profiles to get it to work

i guess we'll see if they bother messaging now.
 
B

Bossman

Member
cabbeh said:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ComedyRomantic

I don't post on GAF often, but I do lurk all corners. I thought I'd get in on the profile deconstruction. Some real feedback could be really helpful.

I appreciate what everyone does here and in the Dating-GAF threads.
Click to expand...

I enjoyed your profile and it definitely has comedy but I couldn't find any romance. If you use the name ComedyRomantic. you should have both. Maybe you could write about what are you looking for in a relationship and what makes you a romantic person.
 
S

Septimius

Junior Member
geestack said:
I have no idea, first time someone's made that comment. I can link my profile, but maybe it's just the fact that I put in some corny things or whatever. Maybe it's my admittedly hipster music taste? But everyone loves Prince!
Click to expand...

Liking Prince is hipster?

Sure, link to your profile! It could just be that she was intimidated. Seriously. No stable person reacts like that. Sucks to experience, but I can guarantee you it's not you.
 
C

cabot

Member
Bossman said:
I enjoyed your profile and it definitely has comedy but I couldn't find any romance. If you use the name ComedyRomantic. you should have both. Maybe you could write about what are you looking for in a relationship and what makes you a romantic person.
Click to expand...

When hastily constructing a name fails..

Glad you found some comedy in there.

You're right that there is no real romantic inkling in my profile, that's something I was hoping would come through chat and IM, not particularly something I wanted to outline in the profile itself. Not gonna lie, the real reason I chose that name was a play on Romantic Comedy, since it amused me and it plays on my love of film (I also really don't like names containing numbers, punctuation etc, so clean names have to be a little more inventive)
 
OuterLimits

OuterLimits

Member
Met my wife on match.com 10 years ago. Back then you didn't have as many competing sites, but match was pretty good.

During my first week on the site I sent a message to 3 people. Only one of the three responded back but our first date went well and three years later we got married.

My wife was on the site for about 5 months and went on a few dates. She got a bad vibe from one guy she met. They had scheduled to meet at a park to play tennis but when she met him, he suggested they walk together in the nearby woods instead. The woods aren't actually part of the park and don't have walking paths, and even if they did, she wasn't comfortable walking in the woods with a guy she just met in person. She declined and said they should play tennis like agreed but he got an attitude for some reason. She quickly ended the meeting at that point.

Fortunately she didn't let the one odd encounter sour her to online dating and we met a couple months later. We only lived 5 minutes apart, but probably never would have met had it not been for online dating.

Anyway, I hope everyone has fun and meets awesome people.
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Yeah... I'm a grown ass guy and I'd still refuse to take a walk in the woods with somebody I just met through the internet.

That's like Creeping 101.
 
T

TangerineCloud

Banned
Man, I don't know what's going on, but my OKCupid profile has been blowing up recently. Got liked by a bunch of girls and even got a few messages. Feels good, man.

Now watch my awkward-ass blow it with all of them.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
@OuterLimits, that's crazy that you guys lived 5 minutes away from each other. Online dating is a small world. The internet is truly a marvel of a medium to allow strangers to connect to each other such as we're doing now through GAF. I can't imagine what life would be like today without it.

So lately I've been avoiding getting on Tinder because I've been dreading initiating dates. I just got a message from a cute girl so I can't say no to that. I've had a back and forth going with a Mexican girl that we've exchanged several messages already and I suggested that we meet up. Need to remember the cheap dates and relax.
 
E

E92 M3

Member
Tinder is basically good for hooking up and having sex with as many guys and girls possible. That's what a lot of guys/girls use it for; also the reason for mass swipe right phenomenon. Rarely something serious comes from Tinder.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
E92 M3 said:
Tinder is basically good for hooking up and having sex with as many guys and girls possible. That's what a lot of guys/girls use it for; also the reason for mass swipe right phenomenon. Rarely something serious comes from Tinder.
Click to expand...

I probably should not use Tinder in that case. I'm not particularly desirable.
 
L

Lone_Prodigy

Member
There are a lot of good-looking girls on Tinder, I'll give it that. I feel a bit guilty for swiping right if I don't at least look at the rest of their pictures/write-up.

Lot of interesting names out there. Substituting "i" for "y" must be new.
 
D

dcdobson

Member
I'm honestly surprised to hear that some guys don't always go for the kiss on the first date. I'm not the most confident person in the world, but I always do and it's typically well-received.
 
C

chaostrophy

Member
Well, I have my first online date tonight. Found through Tinder, I joined about a week ago and have a bunch of matches, but I'm nervous about messaging people so I haven't sent any first messages yet. Got my first message yesterday, straightforward asking to meet for a drink, we're going to a Belgian/craft beer pub.

Bit of background: I'm recently divorced (~6 weeks) but after a long separation (~4.5 years). Ex-wife and I are still close friends but we've both moved on romantically, she's had a serious boyfriend for a while now, I haven't dated anyone since. Nervous about tonight too since I never really dated anyone before my wife and I met (I was 22 then, 35 now).

Tinder is the only site I've tried, not because I'm really good looking or after just hookups, but the idea of writing an elaborate profile to sound witty or clever seems kind of intimidating. Tinder seems nice and simple, I just put stuff that I like and dislike. Tried to express my interests and personality in the photos too (photography is a hobby of mine, writing isn't) rather than just try to look sexy.

So I guess I'll see how it goes...
 
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