Basketball
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Cold as fuck
Keep living, exercise
Keep living, exercise
It's the thing people who don't love you anymore say to make you feel better because they're cowards.What do people mean when they say they want to find themselves?
ehm, I don't want to sound harsh, but you probably still want to get in contact with a divorce lawyer asapand she made it very clear that she wants nothing from me.
This is true. People change. People change their minds. Realize they wont get over something they never got out of their system, didnt explore enough, etc. Can spend a long time wondering if they care more about the relationship than those itching regrets. Eventually they figure out which regret would hurt more in their guess, and its either how much theyll regret losing the relationship for life or not getting out of the relationship to try and fulfill their lives.The speculation and conjecture on "there's no waaaay it can happen that easily, must be more to the story" so far in the thread is pretty needless. Sometimes people change, and sometimes people do that privately, silently, over a long period of time. Whether that's morally right or wrong as a partner in a marriage and how you get to those sorts of places is not something really worth debating here. What matters is Pinky.
If it really came out of nowhere, is there definitely no option to try and work through it?
Christ man, that's awful. I'm sending good vibes your way. I was also blindsided out of a 3 year relationship; though that's not nearly as long as 11 or as tough as a divorce, I still feel your pain. The whole "I love you, I'm just not in love with you" linesounds like complete bullshit to me. If she still loved you she wouldn't have made this decision without you. Unfortunately it sounds like the beginning of the end. Maybe it's for the best - you deserve better.
Best advice was that you stop posting stuff on GAF and speak to family or whoever you can that's close . Get a lawyer
Please tell me you changed your av for this.
It's the thing people who don't love you anymore say to make you feel better because they're cowards.
What do people mean when they say they want to find themselves?
So many suggesting a lawyer. Do things like this really get ugly? Would OP be expected to pay more than whats fair? Sounds like she just wants out and nothing more.
They are unhappyWhat do people mean when they say they want to find themselves?
I'd recommend not spending the entire period following the divorce sloppy drunk and hopefully not picking up habits like smoking or calling out of work to just slack off while depressed.
I did all of that and regret them all. It doesn't help and just makes you more miserable. What does help is trying to get back in shape. It doesn't harm you in any way and works out well for you either way. Unless you're already in great shape, of course.
So many suggesting a lawyer. Do things like this really get ugly? Would OP be expected to pay more than whats fair? Sounds like she just wants out and nothing more.
So many suggesting a lawyer. Do things like this really get ugly? Would OP be expected to pay more than whats fair? Sounds like she just wants out and nothing more.
"She wants a divorce, but we're still friend - she wouldn't do anything to hurt me."So many suggesting a lawyer. Do things like this really get ugly? Would OP be expected to pay more than whats fair? Sounds like she just wants out and nothing more.
She says she wants nothing from him but she wants a divorce all of a sudden after 11 years like... it's better to get a lawyer just in case she changes her mind about that too.So many suggesting a lawyer. Do things like this really get ugly? Would OP be expected to pay more than whats fair? Sounds like she just wants out and nothing more.
Yep. In CA and potentially other places a marriage longer than 10 years or something can qualify a spouse for permanent spousal support.It's also a long marriage, there can be state legal ramifications at this point as well
What do people mean when they say they want to find themselves?
I completely agree. Trying to numb the pain with drugs and alcohol never works. All you are doing is making things worse on yourself.
OP needs to stay sober and lean on friends and family.
Guys, cool it with the "She found somebody else". Even if that's true, it isn't particularly helpful to OP.
Dude have you ever gone through something like this? Because I have. Those were horrible ideas. Especially if he has any hope she'll come to her senses.I disagree, the initial aftermath when he feels like he's choking and falling through a hole in the world is the time to hit anything and everything that works to make him feel the slightest bit better. Time will do its work and rational healthy methods are for further down the track, its a matter surviving until then.
Hence why I didn't start a thread on GAF when this happened to me. I wrote it out and had it ready to go and realized I don't need some anonymous asshole saying "she found new dick" while I was hurting.Guys, cool it with the "She found somebody else". Even if that's true, it isn't particularly helpful to OP.
Then again, not sure how we can be helpful as it's a horrific situation man. I can't even imagine walking out on someone and not even giving a platform on which to solve the problems that supposedly have ended the marriage.
To be fair there's a good proportion of people willing to help, but the occasional guy who wants to speculate doesn't help.Hence why I didn't start a thread on GAF when this happened to me. I wrote it out and had it ready to go and realized I don't need some anonymous asshole saying "she found new dick" while I was hurting.
I wrote it out and had it ready to go and realized I don't need some anonymous asshole saying "she found new dick"
Yes I have and for about the first five days nothing helped or was even really relevant that wasn't immediate release or distraction.Dude have you ever gone through something like this? Because I have. Those were horrible ideas. Especially if he has any hope she'll come to her senses.
I don't know and didn't try to find out. Why would I want to?Did she though?
Did she though?
So did I. And I did those things. And they sucked. Hell, it didn't last a few days. Try a few months. It's not how to cope.Yes I have and for about the first five days nothing helped or was even really relevant that wasn't immediate release or distraction.
The question doesn't bother me; it's just a factual inquiry. It's when people just say its true like they know anything.The fuck is wrong with you?
Sorry to the people I offended with my inquiries, i'm just curious about the statistics surrounding people who get dumped out of the blue and if that person found someone else.The fuck is wrong with you?
So many suggesting a lawyer. Do things like this really get ugly? Would OP be expected to pay more than whats fair? Sounds like she just wants out and nothing more.
Yeah it's a fairly common strategy. I've seen a couple of friends approach that tactic with "oh it's fine, she wants to settle it friendly" and then she and her lawyer eat them.