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[Pop-O-Matic]

Exactly which of both Steven Seagal?

Before: Tall Paul Heyman

After: The latest comic book supervillain: Velcrohead.

 

[clevbrowns94]

I just want to post this gif.

This. This is just incredible. So strange, yet so perfect.

 

[Acerac]

Seagal comes off like a prat but he's not wrong on the espionage element. America and the CIA have rigged elections and undermined fair elections of other countries using things like assassinations and coups.

If the US did it, it's fair game for everyone to continue to do in the future without repercussion.

Time to reinstate slavery worldwide!

...

I shouldn't need to clarify, but that is sarcasm.

 

[Neuromancer]

Fun fact: some Tibetan Buddhists believe him to be a reincarnated lama.

At the throne under the bo tree was a large middle-aged white man with not-quite good looks and a rather ratty ponytail.

It was chunky action hero Steven Seagal, star of such video shop bargain bin blockbusters as Time To Kill, Under Seige and The Patriot. Seagal may not be up there with the Hollywood greats, but in the Buddhist hierarchy, he is just a notch down from the Dalai Lama himself.

Lama Seagal is the ultimate bombastic Buddhist, cracking skulls one minute and contemplating the infinite nature of nothingness the next. Being recognised as a master who has achieved enlightenment but, out of his limitless compassion, has vowed to take rebirth to help reduce the suffering of all sentient beings is merely the latest in a long line of Zen-like achievements for Seagal.

Seagal was at once accused of bribing Penor Rimpoche and other high-ranking Buddhist leaders into recognizing him as the reincarnated lama. The great one replied to such accusations with typical magnanimity: "Whenever someone has asked me if I am a tulku [reincarnation], I have said that I don't believe it is very important who I was in my last lives. I think it is important what I do in this life. And what I do in this life is only important if I can ease the suffering of others, if I can somehow make the world a better place, if I somehow serve Buddha and mankind, if I can somehow plant the seed of bodhicitta [the search for enlightenment] into people's hearts." Lama Terton Chungdrag Dorje Seagal's way of planting the seed of bodhicitta into people's hearts - by making incredibly violent B-movies - has caused some confusion, but just as the Buddha-nature is in all living things, so the message of the path to nirvana is in all of Seagal's films.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2000/aug/05/features

 

[JustenP88]

Surprised nobody has posted the classic Seagal banger "Me Want the Punani" yet:

https://youtu.be/vLe_BZ1mo3I

It's got that sweet reggae sound we all expect from a Seagal joint.

 

[John Dunbar]

please understand the context. he had to run like that because he was so fast the camera wouldn't have otherwise been able to capture his movements, much like how bruce lee had to slow down his kicks for the camera.

 

[tootie923]

Why does this look like a news shot from a launch PS3 game?

 

[Genryu]

Man, DSP got old real quick, didn't he.

 

[SoulUnison]

Steven Segal is that guy that everyone's blatantly making fun of, but he's too dumb to realize and just happy people are paying attention to him.

 

[Maxinas]

Who? I thought this guy disappeared into irrelevancy back in the 90s. Regardless, opinion automatically discarded.

 

[habithipster]

I like to think Putin's reasoning behind these Steven Segal ops is 'Ok so who's America's hottest movie star'.

 

[Zero Hero]

Shouldn't he just stick to acting and stay out of politics?

 

[Durrzerker]

Shouldn't he just stick to acting and stay out of politics?

Ideally he stays out of both

 

[geomon]

Exactly which of both Steven Seagal?

He has fucking doll hair. What a piece of garbage.

 

[TalonJH]

“I believe in free speech, I believe that everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, but I don’t agree that they should hold the United States of America or the world hostage by taking a venue where people are tuning in to watch a football game and imposing their political views,” Seagal said during a Wednesday appearance on ITV’s “Good Morning Britain.”

...What?

 

[iPaul93]

I just want to post this gif.

I don't think there's a gif that's more painful to watch than this.I cringe every single time I see it.

 

[Loxley]

Does he think his movies are real?

He's claimed in the past that he's worked for the CIA.

Seriously.

Also, no Segal thread is complete without Stephen Tobolowsky telling his story about working with Segal.

 

[RedHoodedOwl]

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Man, DSP got old real quick, didn't he.

Hahahahaha

 

[BlastCore]

Why does a Russian citizen care if athletes reapect the US flag or not?

 

[Imp the Dimp]

God damn, are there any 80s and 90s action movie stars who were worth my idolization at the time?

 

[Shy]

Didn't he get choked out so hard he shat himself?

Yep. By Gene Lebell, on set the of Under Siege.

 

[DemWalls]

God damn, are there any 80s and 90s action movie stars who were worth my idolization at the time?

I think Stallone, Arnold and Van Damme are all pretty cool blokes, especially nowadays.

 

[Jenov]

He's claimed in the past that he's worked for the CIA.

Seriously.

Also, no Segal thread is complete without Stephen Tobolowsky telling his story about working with Segal.

lol, him and Wesley Snipes need to make a movie together. The behind the scenes antics would be epic.

 

[Kayhan]

I just want to post this gif.

Came to check that this gif was posted.

All is right with this thread. Proceed.

 

[eyeball_kid]

Why does this look like a news shot from a launch PS3 game?

Looks more like a cutscene from a Red Alert game.

 

[Fisty]

Exactly which of both Steven Seagal?

So it seems it isn't just politics that Segal and Trump have in common, but also hair transplant specialists. Is Bosley Institute based in Russia?

 

[SteveWD40]

This is factually a Russian citizen lying about having previously being a member of the US military. But he is outraged! Outraged by those players protesting before a sports a match!

He claimed he was part of the Phoenix Program in Vietnam iirc, working with the CIA as a contracted asset (so assassin). Hard thing to prove wrong as they would deny either way, but since they usually used the military for such work it seems odd they would use a civilian martial arts instructor...

Of course he is full of shit, but people actually believed him in Hollywood early on I bet.

 

[Insane Metal]

I just want to post this gif.

Holy shit my sides. This can't be real.

 

[IdreamofHIME]

I like Segal. He took Jack Whitehall ripping the shit out of him well on Jack's new Netflix show.


..oh, unless he didn't understand he was the butt of the joke and thought Jack actually did adore him.

 

[Canklestank]

Is this real life satire? Holy shit. It could not be scripted to be more ironic.

And apparently Russians don't have the required technology, like computers or the Internet.

 

[jroc74]

Thanks for this thread. Crying.

 

[Tugatrix]

He's claimed in the past that he's worked for the CIA.

Seriously.

Also, no Segal thread is complete without Stephen Tobolowsky telling his story about working with Segal.

Steven Seagal stories are classics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuqpR7BK3M0

this is my favorite

 

[The Last Wizard]

Glad you posted this cause I was thinking about Will Sasso’s impersonation of him.

 

[Alligatorjandro]

What the hell is going on

 

[Yado]

but I don’t agree that they should hold the United States of America or the world hostage

by kneeling at a football game...

 

[TAJ]

Steven Seagal stories are classics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuqpR7BK3M0

this is my favorite

They're all gold.
I'm particularly fond of a story from a guy who played a villain in The Glimmer Man where Seagal decided he didn't want to kill anyone in the movie and this actor was trying to convince Seagal to kill his character.

 

[Goldenroad]

If I've learned anything in the past year it's that "real Americans" pledge allegiance to Russia.

 

[FUME5]

It's been about 20 years since I thought Segal was anything but a delusional fuckwit.

 

[Breakage]

I thought that picture of him in the OP was a CG character.

 

[rokkerkory]

Eff this guy

 

[theaface]

Boogie2988 doing 'both sides' when it comes to national identity, I see.

 

[HyperZone<3]

there's no youtube clip, but his recent (and utterly, miserably terrible) film The Perfect Weapon is on Netflix. Skip all of it and check out the ending, its batshit.

 

[LogicAirForce]

#TeamCG

 

[Muppet of a Man]

He looks like a fucked up muppet.

 

[Chuckie]

This looks like a screenshot from C&C: Red Alert

 

[Widdle Puppy]

I'm still just confused how he is even part of this political equation.

 

[Mr. Pointy]

Easy, Steven.

Eaaaasyyyyy.

 

[EverVigilant]

I just want to post this gif.

Wait.

This is real?

 

[Kurita]

I just want to post this gif.