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Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love
- Thread starter Advocatus Diaboli
- Start date
1.Someone being different isn't always bad. She sounds like she pushes you out of your comfort zone. Thats good for you even if nothing happens. Stop talking yourself out of it and call/text her back.
2. Just go by the golden rule 1/2 age +7. Or in reverse ((their age) -7)x2.
If you are 24 or younger then you are good to go. If older probably move on.
Yeah, definitely got ghosted by this one woman. Kind of amazing how far the texting fell...Friday it was "We should go to a drive-in, so we can make out", and by Monday texts weren't getting returned. All because - as best as I can figure - my reaction to the Vegas shooting wasn't fiery enough. *shrug*
Also ghosted by little-sis-of-highschool-friend, but that was expected after she was busy during the weekend and didn't try to propose another date.
There's one last girl I'm talking with. We should have some fun! Enough similarities for there to be stuff to talk about, while being different enough that I wouldn't be dating my female clone. Clonecest is bad.
Also ghosted by little-sis-of-highschool-friend, but that was expected after she was busy during the weekend and didn't try to propose another date.
There's one last girl I'm talking with. We should have some fun! Enough similarities for there to be stuff to talk about, while being different enough that I wouldn't be dating my female clone. Clonecest is bad.
There's no mistaking what happened with the first woman. She was lamenting how terrible the world was on Monday, I advocated self-care, she countered with a call to action. My explanations, and attempts to talk on Tuesday, were both met with silence.
I'm okay with that. I have no regrets about my reaction, and if she wants to ghost on account of it, so be it.
Messofanego
Banned
She cancelled today, had a feeling. Her excuse was she had a meeting with her manager, but she didn't offer to reschedule. Either way, got a date with someone else this saturday who's really into me (calls me "babe" and "prince" a lot lol).
Jzero
Member
Gross, I avoid princesses.
Yeah, I know. But we actually talked about ghosting. She said someone did it to her once and she was all "what the hell's going on!". She said how she doesn't understand that phenomena, and that she'd rather just tell someone it's over, if only to have finality and to keep the guy from possibly stalking her, looking for some answers. LOL
I think the #1 reason is due to the nature of online dating and the constant barrage of people, especially for women. You go out with someone and they like you just fine, but then in between dates with that person, they find/meet someone (or a few people) "better"; more attractive, more interesting, live closer... etc. and then that first person, who liked you just fine at first, will probably ghost you because they're focusing on this new person.
It's not a bad thing that we're different, but it's not differences on a mental sense, but a cultural sense. When it comes to relationships with Asian and White women, I feel kind there's a part of me that is a bit much to handle. I'm 100% open to talking about race with women that I'm interested in, but it's something that they lack to mention and is something that I have to bring up. On top of that, my upbringing has really fucked with my head when it comes to dating. Right now, I'm looking for something long term, and someone that can help me explore at a near level that I'm at.
I'll get her number, but I'm not sure when I'll see her again. I'm doing a BBQ next week, so I'll make sure she's invited to have food and relax.
As for the Latina woman, she's really someone that I have interest in despite the age. She ticks off the boxes in terms of that mixture of maturity and fun. I'm 22, she's 19, so there's that age difference. I guess I may just go for it, but her eagerness about drinking is something I want to handle, especially when it comes down to her being underage. That just brings up problems.
I also think that whatever may go down between her and I may just turn into a friends with benefits type thing. The sex and whatever is fine, but that road isn't something that is healthy for me right now, no?
1. Let her make the choice of if you are too much to handle. Taking yourself away from people because you think you know whats best for them is a horrible attitude to have (its perfectly natural to have that at 22 however. It takes time to grow out of)
You say you have baggage about race/culture and your upbringing. Try and remember that any girl who is interested in you knows none of this. A new relationship is a clean slate to be the person you want to be/the best version of yourself. Obviously your past will inform your future in some way, but it doesn't have to define it. Thats up to you.
You want to find someone who makes you want to be the best version of yourself.
2. Whats there to handle. She is an adult making a choice. If you cant respect that/be OK with that don't be around her. As for the Friends With Benefits thoughts. Woah slow down there.
You need to decide if you want a relationship or a casual encounter if you are looking for something serious and long term you won't find it starting in a FWB arrangement. Look for people looking for exclusive relationships, who want that deeper connection. It may not work out but relationships at their core are about learning and growing as a person. You wont find that with a FWB arrangement.
Good luck.
Yeah, it has held me up in many ways, but it's really hard to shake. I just grew up fast, so it skews my perspective on how a 22 year old should act. I'll just let whatever goes on with her work itself out.
As for the other woman, I'm not looking for casual, but the FWB thing is something that I fear at this moment. Should I bring up the fact that I'm looking into something more after taking her out?
Also, as for the alcohol stuff, I'm just reluctant because I just don't want any issues with me being of age and her not.
Thanks as well. This is my first time seriously looking for someone. Other relationships just fell into my lap.
LordKasual
Banned
been there
we've all been there probably
you're setting yourself up to get one-shot by a critical hit
Sure. But that wasn't my point.
But my point was how the last date I had scheduled after so many, and the one I had the least expectations from, is the one that was head and shoulders better than the rest.
LordKasual
Banned
Guys i'm conflicted.
So lets assume you've got this friend. Your friend is really close with his little sister (legal drinking age). They're like best friends. He's also kind of got a protective attitude concerning her.
lets say you finally meet said sister, a few drinks happen, you hit it off. Nothing too intimate happens, but by the end of the night it's really obvious that you both are into eachother, and this is acknowledged. You've agreed to go out for drinks with said chick sometime later. your friend probably does not know this, and his sister probably wouldn't have told him anyway.
do you pursue or naw
this actually seems to be the norm with me as well lol
any chick i talk to that seems like she's gonna be super cool through text doesn't really go that far during the actual date.
it's always the ones where i'm just kind of like "she's cute, sure whatever" are the chillest, most interesting ones
So lets assume you've got this friend. Your friend is really close with his little sister (legal drinking age). They're like best friends. He's also kind of got a protective attitude concerning her.
lets say you finally meet said sister, a few drinks happen, you hit it off. Nothing too intimate happens, but by the end of the night it's really obvious that you both are into eachother, and this is acknowledged. You've agreed to go out for drinks with said chick sometime later. your friend probably does not know this, and his sister probably wouldn't have told him anyway.
do you pursue or naw
this actually seems to be the norm with me as well lol
any chick i talk to that seems like she's gonna be super cool through text doesn't really go that far during the actual date.
it's always the ones where i'm just kind of like "she's cute, sure whatever" are the chillest, most interesting ones
Speak with your friend, you owe them that at least. If he's not happy with it, you've gotta balance up whether you want to keep on and potentially lose a friend or keep your friend and knock the sister back.
I had the exact same situation, me and my friend went out with a work friend a few years ago and ended up bumping into his younger sister out with her friends.
Me and her got on like a gasoline soaked treehouse on fire all night, we ended up sharing a kiss out at the smokers bit and then started messaging each other the next morning.
A couple of weeks later we organised to go to her flat for a couple of drinks and a movie which ended up with us having sex and me staying the night. We fell pretty hard for each other but I brought it up with my friend before it went any further and he was happy with it as long as we were happy, he couldn't have been cooler with it.
We ended up dating for around 6 months but then broke up with each other.
I've actually messaged her a few times since I broke up with my ex, nice talking with her again, don't think there's anything relationshippy there but we hooked up a couple times after we split so maybe we can again.
I think it depends on how you treat women around him. If he knows you well and knows that you'll treat her right, then I don't see the big deal. Just be weary, if anything goes down between you two, it might mess up the relationship with your friend.
Tell him and ask him if he would have objections if it became serious between his sister and yourself. If he does ask him why and determine for yourself if this is important enough to break it off before it can become something, if he doesn't it well then continue.
This can come between your friend and yourself but also between your friend and his sister. You don't need to be overly cautious but do treat their relationship with respect.
NoctisVsStar
Member
Krauser Kat
Member
that race dating thread is bonkers.
So many of us are influenced by society using white women as the standard of beauty but jesus fucking christ their are beautiful women (and men) of all colors and backgrounds.
I met this beautiful Venezuela women at an art gallery and she is coming to my house on friday for some dinner im making. I cannot fucking wait.
So many of us are influenced by society using white women as the standard of beauty but jesus fucking christ their are beautiful women (and men) of all colors and backgrounds.
I met this beautiful Venezuela women at an art gallery and she is coming to my house on friday for some dinner im making. I cannot fucking wait.
Oh, I finally got round to picking my stuff up from the exes, her number has been blocked, weight off my shoulders.
So, I'm still talking to the girls from my work, not as much but it's hard when you see them both at work and chat with them there most of the time, don't want to seem too overbearing by messaging them outside of work as well, even then, most days I just don't have much to say.
Work Christmas night out at a hotel in Glasgow is just over a month away so this'll be the opportunity with girl 1. We're all staying overnight and the rooms are booked. Me and her have been really close on previous work nights out but we weren't single then, we both are now.
So, I'm still talking to the girls from my work, not as much but it's hard when you see them both at work and chat with them there most of the time, don't want to seem too overbearing by messaging them outside of work as well, even then, most days I just don't have much to say.
Work Christmas night out at a hotel in Glasgow is just over a month away so this'll be the opportunity with girl 1. We're all staying overnight and the rooms are booked. Me and her have been really close on previous work nights out but we weren't single then, we both are now.
NoctisVsStar
Member
L.Kasual it's a tricky subject the bro code man. If you hang and drink with this guy on the regular and pursue girls with him.. do not pursue. You do owe him an explanation before going out with his sis.. cause if you going out behind his back that friendship is over. Please state your intentions as well.
Now, me personally I'm not protective over my sis cause at the end of the day she's going to do whatever she wants ¯\_(ツ
_/¯ Im too old and I don't got time for that. I just be like " oh you like my sis? Talk to her and see what happens but I'm not putting in the word for you"
Latinas are OP.
Now, me personally I'm not protective over my sis cause at the end of the day she's going to do whatever she wants ¯\_(ツ
_/¯ Im too old and I don't got time for that. I just be like " oh you like my sis? Talk to her and see what happens but I'm not putting in the word for you"Latinas are OP.
Megalosaro
Banned
Because I majored in Asian Studies, people assume I'm into Asian women. I'm not, generally. I actually tend to go for South American women. For my money, Peruvian girls tend to be the most beautiful.
But yeah, that's the benefit of living in an international city. We have all flavors of people here.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
My "types" are clearly: Jewish girls from Jersey, (dyed) redheads, and Brazilians. Y'all can have the blondes. I'll pass.
Gotdatmoney
Member
They always are. They always are man. Lol.
Blam
Member
scandinavian girls are pretty cute most of the times are they not?
Megalosaro
Banned
I once got called out for saying i was attracted to jewish girls.
For some reason any dating / relationship thread outside of this one seems to be really toxic.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
This is the only thread with a community atmosphere. And it's relatively self-policing. None of us tolerate toxic viewpoints.
Blam
Member
Yeah definitely couldn't see this place lasting 7OT's if it was in any way toxic.
artsi
Member
Yeah I mean it works for most people, but if you live here and are into latino girls (for example) then you're just out of luck.
Gotdatmoney
Member
You would get chewed apart in 30s flat if you tried to say some of the shit in those threads in here. Also, a lot of people here come for help. I dunno about you guys but I'm not gonna help anyone with stupid sexist, bigoted, racist views. I think their is some self policing here when people post stuff. You dont want to bite the hand that feeds you.
Jzero
Member
My best friend dated my sister and he is no longer my friend
He was a piece of shit though, not because he dated my sister 😂
Gotdatmoney
Member
Only questions you gotta ask yourself about friends lil sis is how much do you value the friendship and how much he would interfere if you tried.
Blam
Member
How much do you value the friendship if you were to fuck it up. Would you choose him over her? Would you risk losing a friend for fucking a sis?
Monkeyball
Banned
Why would they be?
timetokill
Banned
I dunno, I heard from Trump they all look the same
Megalosaro
Banned
That's how you do it. Just go in, try to have fun. Maybe you'll meet someone cool or maybe you won't.
I was into my friends sister for a very long time. From the moment I met her until about 5 years later, I kept my feelings to myself. Then one night I got really f***** up, and center a half ass confession over Facebook. Of course she turned me down sighting she had a boyfriend. But she also said that if she hadn't didn't have a boyfriend, she would go out with me.
So I waited. Not long after she started having trouble with her boyfriend, which encouraged me. I felt my time was coming. Then things got better for them again. After a while they did break up. I think it was like 5 years later years later. She did not go out with me instead she's went out with a coworker for about a month. At that point I realized it was never going to happen that I had been wasting my time.
I wasn't single the whole time, but she was always on the back of my mind. I think that might have had and effect on my relationships. Not was a mistake, there are tons of Awesome women out there you just have to meet them. I realized now there's no point holding out for a special girl
NoctisVsStar
Member
Excellent that's the mentality you supposed to have.
boostedcivic8
Neo Member
Got a date next Wednesday. Should I text her at any point between now and then? I was just thinking maybe the night before to confirm the plans?
Megalosaro
Banned
Definitely send her a text the night before.
I'd maybe send a text some time in the middle as well.
Don't say "Hey how are you?" though. That's totes borez.
Beren the Empty-Handed
Member
Ok guys, remember when I had that awesome date and felt that connection and then got ghosted? And wrote that embarrassing post?
TWIST TIME.
Turns out my phone ate a bunch of peoples' texts for some reason, including her response. She said yes to dinner and drinks. But I didn't receive any notice so I thought I was ghosted. She reached out today asking how I was and what was up, and we figured out that her texts were also victims (had a few people texting me wondering why I didn't respond to them... whoops). I should probably look into what the fuck happened with my phone lol.
Second date is a go!
EDIT:Also she apparently sent me pics of her and dogs she was dog sitting and wondered why I wasn't responding. Whoops! She's sent them now lol.
TWIST TIME.
Turns out my phone ate a bunch of peoples' texts for some reason, including her response. She said yes to dinner and drinks. But I didn't receive any notice so I thought I was ghosted. She reached out today asking how I was and what was up, and we figured out that her texts were also victims (had a few people texting me wondering why I didn't respond to them... whoops). I should probably look into what the fuck happened with my phone lol.
Second date is a go!
EDIT:Also she apparently sent me pics of her and dogs she was dog sitting and wondered why I wasn't responding. Whoops! She's sent them now lol.