Turns out life was a Black Mirror / Outer Limits / Twilight Zone / Tales from the Crypt episode and your super power ended up horribly for you.
Here's what happens to each of you:
For me, I want super strong grip muscles. When people shake my hand they would say ‘damn, that’s like a vice’ They would talk about how I can open any bottle they give me in the office at lunch time. I could crush a grapefruit as a party trick.
Cock breaks in an intense masturbation session.
high bandwidth brain computer interface.
Assholes make a computer virus that spreads super fast because of high bandwidth.
Unlimited procrastinating.
You start to procrastinate the procrastinating, meaning you'll start to do work instead.
You end up leading a country and eventually make a suicide and from that day on every person on earth ever will laugh at your hairstyle and moustache and no-one will ever use your first name and last name again.
Extreme focus and processing information at very high speeds.
The sight of a pile of raped and mutilated babies you accidentally found is in your brain in extreme detail and for the rest of your life you will wail in horror when your brain abilities make you think of what horrors the babies went through and what horrors their parents will be going through for the rest of their lives.
my dick bends to the right i want it to bend to the left
Suddenly every vagina is shaped in a way that only penises that bend right can penetrate into.
Being able to fall asleep instantly and get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
The smoke, the fire and the desperate cries of your wife and children are not enough to interrupt that great last sleep of yours.
In that case, the power of Deja Vu. Let me relive all my horrors.
You start to get deja vus within the deja vu. Not only you relive your horrors but you end up reliving them in a straitjacket.
In realistical sense:
Cunth
's powers of deduction and FIPOing are a desirable trait to have. Imaging being able to solve every case, get every job, because you are the first to comment and to summarize the situation adequately with zero disdain for the person you are talking to.
That truly is a super-power.
You end up actually getting
every job and solving
every crime with a massive case of burn out and stress for the rest of your life.
Ability to have empathy for your dumb little insignificant problems.
Suddenly the world doesn't have people with empathy anymore. You are the only one now. And they'll kick you in the nuts for being such a cry baby all the time.
Rapid healing like Wolverine's, so I could chain smoke without consequence.
The smell keeps every single person away from you for the rest of your life.
I want the power to always be the guy that gets through the lights just before they turn red.
One day there is a huge traffic accident.
Lots of people die.
Some newspaper has an article about it.
Your close friend is being interviewed:
"The cat of Schrödinger had this almost supernatural skill of always getting through the lights before they turned to red. Always! If only he would've been forced to stop on those lights right before the site of the accident he'd still be with us."
