Support NeoGAF

[NecrosaroIII]

Sex & Sensibility: Amazon’s Nude Take On Tolkien

Amazon Studios' LOTR Series Heads Into Uncharted Carnal Waters with Casting Call for Nudity and an "Intimacy Coordinator" This might be a singularly surprising or even upsetting concept to present to Tolkien fans. If I were to address this reality to Star Wars, or Harry Potter, or even Miyazaki...

www.theonering.net

Kind of lame. While I have no problems with t and a, it feels out of place in the Tolkien world. In Game of Thrones, it always felt forced.

 

[DESTROYA]

 

[Liamario]

That's a mistake and out of place.

 

[Turnt]

Bind that ring in the darkness

 

[Tranquil]

What are the chances they don't totally screw up this show?

 

[Ixion]

Could be fine if they keep it limited. Don't force it all the time for cheap thrills.

It's a similar situation to Final Fantasy XVI. Both LOTR and Final Fantasy seem to be going R-rated and are trying to capture more of the Game of Thrones crowd. Some inspiration is fine, but just don't become softcore porn. (I only watch hardcore porn)

 

[teezzy]

Theres no way hobbits manscape breh

 

[Dark Star]

Great, now I can't watch it with my parents or siblings... Sex and nudity are the most awkward things to put in MOST shows IMO. Keep it "R rated" for the violence/blood, not the romance. It's simply gross and usually not necessary. LOTR doesn't need sex appeal, like at all. This isn't Game of Thrones or Witcher, this is a Tolkien epic. Just make it EPIC. Swords, horses, dragons, monsters, magic, huge wars/battles, a long, perilous adventure/journey through mountains and forests, deep lore/story/characters, etc. That's pretty much all they have to do to make "interesting" lol.

 

[Calcium]

So they have no idea what they are doing. Got it.

 

[SirKicksalot]

The only way it might be sort of almost acceptable is if it's used to show Numenor's decadence or something along those lines.

 

[EviLore]

They’re going to fuck it up.

 

[Psajdak]

Is that some new LotR porn parody?

 

[iconmaster]

I had written this series off as a misguided cash-in attempt on the fast track to disaster, but now I see I was exactly correct.

 

[Walter Matthau]

Bezos wanted Amazon to have it's own version of GoT and that's what they're aiming for here. I don't expect this to be family friendly at all.

 

[DogofWar]

Yes the one thing that was missing from the LOTR trilogy was Frodo whipping his dick around while whining about how hard everything is.

I never thought I would say this but seriously, I am sick and tired of every single fucking show having [forced] nudity and sex all the time. GoT would have been 10x better if they focused more on the manuscript and less on the wieners and tits flabbing about.

 

[Xaero Gravity]

They’re going to fuck it up.

Literally ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[diffusionx]

This is awful. Amazon is perverting (literally) the books to grab the GOT market. It has no place in LOTR.

 

[Ballthyrm]

Hey at least , Christopher is not going to be alive to see it.
I'm not holding my breath for this one, i have no trust in the show-makers (they literally haven't done anything before in TV)

The wheel of time serie on the other hand could be good !

 

[ExpandKong]

"Pull out!"

 

[mcz117chief]

"Pull out!"

I'd like to give you fire, lol and strength reaction at the same time but I can only give one, but I wanted you to know you deserve all three

 

[NecrosaroIII]

They’re going to fuck it up.

Hate to say it, but yes. I'm just glad Chris Tolkien doesn't have to see this.

 

[iconmaster]

Hey at least , Christopher is not going to be alive to see it.

How did Amazon even manage to get the rights?

 

[Woffls]

Shaaare the loooaadd

 

[Cutty Flam]

The Base Master of Treachery is behind this, I have no doubt

 

[jason10mm]

I'm all in. I'm also super curious what qualifications you need to have to be an "intimacy coordinator". Like be a spinster nun? Some sort of ace androgynous person? I'm sure it is mostly non gender conforming pansexuals but really, shouldn't it be someone with a deep understanding of the male gaze to maximize the erotic potential and minimize wang flapping?

 

[Rentahamster]

There's a chance this could be done right, and there's a chance they're just trying to make Game of Thrones with LoTR IP.

 

[Pagusas]

Hobbit porn....

 

[Unknown Soldier]

So basically they are going to make Game of Thrones instead using LOTR setting?

There's a lot of things I thought it was fine for Hollywood to get away with, but Tolkien's gonna be spinning in his grave if they completely desecrate this IP.

 

[Kadayi]

Orced?

 

[brap]

It's a liberal show so of course it will. Plenty of gay sex too.

 

[Cunth]

How are they gonna get around them all being white though

 

[brap]

How are they gonna get around them all being white though

What? They're not all white obviously.

 

[Cunth]

What? They're not all white obviously.

I’m guessing the black guy is sauron

 

[NecrosaroIII]

Nah, they're going to portray Numenor as violent colonizers that brutalized Harad. He's a Haradrim.

 

[notseqi]

Theres no way hobbits manscape breh

Those hairy feet don't bode well for dem Hobbits. If it was a japanese gentlemens special interest documentary they probably wouldn't have to pixelate shit.

 

[johntown]

That just tells me this show will not be anything like I expect. Just like IMO Stark Trek Discovery is not Star Trek at all. This will probably be LOTR in name only.

 

[JimiNutz]

I'm not that surprised.
They spent big money on this and I imagine they want it to be Game of Thrones level popular.

I don't expect this will be anything like the Tolkien books or Jackson movies.

 

[zeorhymer]

I thought there's like a "Tolkien Estate" that watches the IP like a hawk to make sure that any derivatives are in the spirit of the books. I guess they were given a wad of money to look the other way.

 

[The Hamburglar]

Gandelf to shove his stick up someone’s ring

 

[Ornlu]

"Pull out!"

​

 

[Turnt]

I thought there's like a "Tolkien Estate" that watches the IP like a hawk to make sure that any derivatives are in the spirit of the books. I guess they were given a wad of money to look the other way.

That was what Christopher Tolkien, JRR’s son, did. He retired and the announcement of Amazon buying the rights went out almost immediately after.

 

[frostyxc]

They’re going to fuck it up.

Yesssssss...

 

[Richard Packer]

I'm going to need to see the talent before I take a hard stance.

 

[Punished Miku]

I think Game of Thrones got more casual viewers interested in a fantasy show because of the interpersonal character moments that everyone can relate to. They're not making this for kids, but to be the flagship prestige show for reviewers, and adults. Even though it didn't have nudity, Battlestar Galactica and Farscape basically succeeded for the same reason, and brought in casual viewers interested in the characters instead of being only about robots and aliens in space. If it's done well, it shouldn't be a problem, and it humanizes a show that's likely going to have lots of dense mythology and fantasy that turns off most people.

I'm still totally willing to give it a chance. This is still easily the best chance LOTR will ever have - on paper - to be expanded in a cool way. No one is likely to match the original Peter Jackson movies. If you want to expand the series the best chance is TV now, with much more time to build more elaborate mythology and stories. And it's already the most expensive show ever made. If this doesn't work, then likely nothing will for live action LOTR ever again.

 

[trikster40]

Ugh, can’t we for once have a fantasy series that I can let me kids watch with me? I don’t want another GoT, I want LotR true to Tolkien.

 

[TaylorSwiftFan]

Yeah, it’ll be shit.

 

[Armorian]

I’m guessing the black guy is sauron

In games they introduced black man from south and asians from far east of ME, it somewhat makes sense to do it like that but they will probably just use people of every race everywhere like in The Witcher.

 

[Impotaku]

Lord of the cockrings, let the pork sword battles commence.

 

[Goro Majima]

I’m a pretty big Tolkien fan and this just seems so contrary to the spirit of the source material. His works are more epic/mythology in style.

On the other hand, ASOIAF was even more sexual and visceral in the books so that made sense.

I’m going to be very disappointed if this is just a GoT also-ran with LOTR branding.

 

[iconmaster]

If you want to expand the series the best chance is TV now, with much more time to build more elaborate mythology and stories.

I don't think anyone alive today possesses the unique combination of education and skills necessary to elaborate on Middle Earth.

Tolkien wasn't just a fantasy writer with a good imagination, like say J.K. Rowlings. He was a medieval scholar and a philologist and more, and all of it informed the fantasy.

Handing his world over to television executives is like hiring a (possibly very talented) comic book artist to further flesh out the Sistine Chapel.

(I exaggerate, but only some)