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I hate the idea of driving a car
- Thread starter nkarafo
- Start date
Spaceman292
Banned
Maybe you're bad at driving because you've never driven a car before. Just a thought. Drive lots and you get better at it. Although I agree that it's very scary sometimes. Driving through a blizzard at night while wankers in BMWs are coming the other way at 300 mph. It's like using a chainsaw. The more you respect it, the less likely you'll be to have an accident.
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p_xavier
Authorized Fister
I was in a motorbike accident a few years back and I still refuse to drive to this day. I got major surgeries because of it and nope, I won't risk it again. I manage to live in a small rural town on foot. Small towns were well designed back then with everything in proximity.
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Stilton Disco
Member
My mates brother was in a serious motorcycle crash and had to have one of his legs amputated at the knee.
He then invented a prosthetic limb adapter to allow himself to ride again, patented and licensed the design, and lives off the royalties.
Letting fear and failure hold you back means you're just accepting that you're a victim, and always will be, so you never have to try to better yourself.
lock2k
Banned
I'm 37 and driving is one of my greatest pleasures. It can also be monotonous, but I have a manual transmission and even in monotony it's not as bad.
Highly recommend you give it a go and learn how to. It's a basic life skill that everyone should have until we go all self-driving in the waaaay distant future.
Highly recommend you give it a go and learn how to. It's a basic life skill that everyone should have until we go all self-driving in the waaaay distant future.
EverydayBeast
thinks Halo Infinite is a new graphical benchmark
Enjoy not having a car payment if you can, a lot more transportation is being made so congrats to the OP I personally enjoy driving, and can spend an whole hour washing the car on the weekend.
Fbh
Member
I got my license late too, more for financial reasons than anything (couldn't afford a car so why bother).
It's really not that bad and it's way less stressful than I thought it would be before learning. It's also great not having to depend on others to drive you around.
With that said driving in big cities mostly sucks. There's too many people and you are usually moving around slowly if not stuck in traffic.
Driving in a smaller town or on the countryside is great, I just find it fun and even somewhat relaxing.
It's really not that bad and it's way less stressful than I thought it would be before learning. It's also great not having to depend on others to drive you around.
With that said driving in big cities mostly sucks. There's too many people and you are usually moving around slowly if not stuck in traffic.
Driving in a smaller town or on the countryside is great, I just find it fun and even somewhat relaxing.
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
That's cool for your brother. It's a matter of priorities, I also save thousands a year by walking.
MaestroMike
Gold Member
Just start taking baby steps and practice driving when there's less people on the roads like Sunday mornings. Practice driving in the parking lot. Just start getting a feel and making it a habit. Practice driving to close nearby places like the grocery store. Do simple things like that and before you know it driving will become second nature.
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StormCell
Member
Allow me to try to relate with you.
I didn't get my license or my first car until I was around the age of 23. In fact, I may have been 25 when I got my first car, but let's focus on the actual aspects of learning to drive. It was a bit of an adjustment getting used to piloting a massive hunk of metal. Even after I passed the driving tests, I wasn't sure that I would ever get comfortable controlling a tonne of metal traveling at high velocity. The only way around this uncomfortable-ness is time spent behind the wheel, though. I, too, found it awkward to approach dating without a car or even a license. This is probably much less of a problem in larger cities or even for people at that age now as I've noticed younger family members are dating people who are in their 20s and no experience driving. Still, driving is a very useful skill, and it's one that you'll gain a much better feel for once you get so many hours of it under your belt.
I'll list some of the things that changed for me as a result of just getting out and driving:
1. Initially, 50 mph felt fast. How do people make decisions at this speed? Within a week, 50 mph feels like a bit of a crawl next to 70 mph. You will soon master the art of tracking things happening 5 seconds ahead of you while keep tabs on whatever is behind you.
2. How can I even begin to give a f--k what these other assholes on the road think about my driving when they all drive like morons!
3. Everybody makes mistakes on the road. Not everyone stops for the red light before your light goes green. Not every acknowledges the stop sign every time. Sometimes cars stop abruptly and turn without signaling. This doesn't mean the other driver is an idiot, and if you drive defensively you will have plenty of time to respond to the unexpected.
4. Good driving is driving with the awareness that people make all kinds of mistakes while driving. Most mistakes don't lead to accidents.
5. The best driver is not the one who drives at the highest speeds without infractions. The best driver is the one who always makes it to their destination without incident.
6. Probably the best thing that happened to my driving is swallowing my fear and towing a bass boat around town. You will learn a lot towing anything.
I can't imagine how I lived without driving. It was awkward trying to get a girl friend without being able to drive, but it was exceptionally easy finding girls willing to let me practice driving with them. Go figure, eh?
NecrosaroIII
Ask me about my terrible takes on Star Trek characters
I was the same way OP. I waited until I was 22 to get my license because I was stressed by the idea of driving. All of the things bothering you stressed me out incredibly. But I sucked it up and got my license.
Now hesitating so long is one of my biggest regrets. College would have been so much better had I driven sooner. Instead of a 20-minute drive, I endured a 90 minute bus ride each way. I wouldn't have been so exhausted in class. I would have had more time to study and socialize. I would have had access to intern opportunities that I ignored because I didn't want to deal with the commute.
Just suck it up man. You won't regret it. The truth is that driving isn't that difficult most of the time. Freeway driving is especially brainless.
Now hesitating so long is one of my biggest regrets. College would have been so much better had I driven sooner. Instead of a 20-minute drive, I endured a 90 minute bus ride each way. I wouldn't have been so exhausted in class. I would have had more time to study and socialize. I would have had access to intern opportunities that I ignored because I didn't want to deal with the commute.
Just suck it up man. You won't regret it. The truth is that driving isn't that difficult most of the time. Freeway driving is especially brainless.
Peggies
Gold Member
Hell yeah! There's two things I hate about Tesla: automatic transmission and Elon Musk.
Do you guys (in America) usually don't have manual?
S
Sidney Prescott
Unconfirmed Member
I'll probably be the same if I ever learn to drive. I even hate being a passenger. Cars just give me so much anxiety. I don't trust other people on the road.
T8SC
Gold Member
The way performance cars are progressing, automatics are becoming the norm elsewhere too. I have a 7sp DSG with paddles in my daily driver but my weekend car is an old school manual which, as said earlier, give's a lot more engagement with the whole driving process. Auto's remove alot of the "fun" from driving but with launch control, they're unbeatable when doing 1/4 mile drag sprints.
Also, mandatory:
Peggies
Gold Member
I didn't understand all of what you are saying but, stillThe way performance cars are progressing, automatics are becoming the norm elsewhere too. I have a 7sp DSG with paddles in my daily driver but my weekend car is an old school manual which, as said earlier, give's a lot more engagement with the whole driving process. Auto's remove alot of the "fun" from driving but with launch control, they're unbeatable when doing 1/4 mile drag sprints.
Also, mandatory:
DESTROYA
Member
OP you sound like my MOM.
Heres the thing she was your age when we first came to America and couldn’t read or write English only difference is she eventually learned to drive because she needed a way to get back and forth from work .
If a person has a will they will find a way, sounds like you really just don’t want to learn to drive and using your anxiety as a excuse.
Start on some small back roads with no traffic to get the feel of it and then work your way up to more busier roads
Heres the thing she was your age when we first came to America and couldn’t read or write English only difference is she eventually learned to drive because she needed a way to get back and forth from work .
If a person has a will they will find a way, sounds like you really just don’t want to learn to drive and using your anxiety as a excuse.
Start on some small back roads with no traffic to get the feel of it and then work your way up to more busier roads
TrainedRage
Banned
Driving is like the most American, Freedom great country time ever. Don’t miss out because you are scared. Just go slow and learn like we all did.
Raven117
Member
Yeah, most Americans don't know how to drive a stick. Hell, most cars don't even come with the option. I drive a Jeep Wrangler that I ordered form Jeep that is stick shift. And man, Tesla and "automatic/self driving cars" can come pry it out of my cold dead hands. Its just so much more fun (and one is a lot better driver) when rockin a sticl.
Peggies
Gold Member
It's the best part about driving. I never even tried driving an automatic. I think I would be kind of lost.
A.Romero
Member
I think most people feels like that when starting to drive. I remember finding challenging to have to look at the instruments, mirrors and the actual street while drive. My dad is a very apprehensive person so he didn't want to teach me how to drive when I was young. When I was 19 I left my country and came back when I was around 24 so I didn't get the chance to learn at 16 like most of the people I knew.
I got my first car when I was 26, spending up to 3 hours commuting everyday really pissed me off. I read books or play games on a portable console but it was still annoying to know that I was wasting so much time. I had a license but didn't know how to drive (driver's test are not a thing for grown ups here although they should be). A friend came with me to pick the new car on another city and drove it back. We went to his place and then he handed me the keys. It was a manual stick and 5 minutes after dropping my friend off it started raining heavily. I think I've never been as stressed as that time in my life. It took me about 2 hours to my place while the same distance would have been about 15 minutes for a regular driver.
Next day I decided not to take the new car at work and just took a cab. Repeated the same behaviour for like 2 weeks. Every day in the morning I would tell myself "today I'll practice after work" but I never did. I finally decided to push me to go to work by driving so I just left really early to avoid traffic and make sure I was on time. It sucked. The first few months just sucked, specially here where people don't really care for speed limits and road rules in general.
Eventually I got the hang of it. I've had 3 cars so far and pre-pandemic I use to drive at least 1000 km a month. I don't really enjoy it that much because driving in the city sucks. The highway is much better and fun. However, the privacy and comfort your own car gives you has no comparison.
Going out on a date on your own car is much better than a cab or anything else. Knowing that if you feel like having something to eat at 3 am you can do it. Listening to your favorite music/podcast at any volume you want. Going/leaving any social engagement on your own terms... All that stuff makes a car worth it.
That said, I can't wait for self driving cars. Most people are really neglectful drivers.
I got my first car when I was 26, spending up to 3 hours commuting everyday really pissed me off. I read books or play games on a portable console but it was still annoying to know that I was wasting so much time. I had a license but didn't know how to drive (driver's test are not a thing for grown ups here although they should be). A friend came with me to pick the new car on another city and drove it back. We went to his place and then he handed me the keys. It was a manual stick and 5 minutes after dropping my friend off it started raining heavily. I think I've never been as stressed as that time in my life. It took me about 2 hours to my place while the same distance would have been about 15 minutes for a regular driver.
Next day I decided not to take the new car at work and just took a cab. Repeated the same behaviour for like 2 weeks. Every day in the morning I would tell myself "today I'll practice after work" but I never did. I finally decided to push me to go to work by driving so I just left really early to avoid traffic and make sure I was on time. It sucked. The first few months just sucked, specially here where people don't really care for speed limits and road rules in general.
Eventually I got the hang of it. I've had 3 cars so far and pre-pandemic I use to drive at least 1000 km a month. I don't really enjoy it that much because driving in the city sucks. The highway is much better and fun. However, the privacy and comfort your own car gives you has no comparison.
Going out on a date on your own car is much better than a cab or anything else. Knowing that if you feel like having something to eat at 3 am you can do it. Listening to your favorite music/podcast at any volume you want. Going/leaving any social engagement on your own terms... All that stuff makes a car worth it.
That said, I can't wait for self driving cars. Most people are really neglectful drivers.
Raven117
Member
You would catch your left foot searching for a clutch more than once....and you will be bored.
S
Sidney Prescott
Unconfirmed Member
I will say I love the idea of lonely late night drives. I think I'll do that if I ever learn. Always just wanted to drive somewhere with lowkey music late. I guess it's good until you end up somewhere sketchy and regret your decision.
JimboJones
Member
It's odd, my dad eventually got one because his knees started giving him bother with arthritis but I drove it a few times and it was like driving one of those big toy cars you buy for 5 year olds.
S
SLoWMoTIoN
Unconfirmed Member
In America you have to drive whether you like it or not outside major cities. Keep trying OP, I'm sure the first time also hurt but you kept going until it hurt good 
wondermega
Member
I had been driving for about 4 years and change, s̶t̶a̶n̶d̶a̶r̶d̶( EDIT: Automatic) transmission the entire time. Then one day, I am a year out of school and my gf tells me she is going to park her car at the airport to go on a trip, wants me to fetch it after work that evening and drive it a few towns over to bring it home.
I'd never driven manual transmission before (well, she tried to teach me a few times, but never really felt comfortable with it). Also, I'd never driven in the city before, and only had the foggiest idea of how to get around the surface streets. Boston is a particular beast to navigate if you don't have any experience! And, it was rush hour. Anyway, what should have taken me like 30min max ended up taking a good couple of hours (I kept getting lost as well, this was the late 90s so no GPS/cell phone yet). The clutch on this particular car was very, very idiosyncratic and therefore I kept stalling out all over the place! An aggravating nightmare, to be sure, but I did it - got the car and myself home in one piece. Probably rode the clutch most of the way back! Anyway, such a relief when I wrapped up that little episode, and I felt pretty proud of myself for soldiering through - and got a huge respect for manual transmission following that.
I'd never driven manual transmission before (well, she tried to teach me a few times, but never really felt comfortable with it). Also, I'd never driven in the city before, and only had the foggiest idea of how to get around the surface streets. Boston is a particular beast to navigate if you don't have any experience! And, it was rush hour. Anyway, what should have taken me like 30min max ended up taking a good couple of hours (I kept getting lost as well, this was the late 90s so no GPS/cell phone yet). The clutch on this particular car was very, very idiosyncratic and therefore I kept stalling out all over the place! An aggravating nightmare, to be sure, but I did it - got the car and myself home in one piece. Probably rode the clutch most of the way back! Anyway, such a relief when I wrapped up that little episode, and I felt pretty proud of myself for soldiering through - and got a huge respect for manual transmission following that.
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ArtemisClydeFrog
Banned
OP wouldn't make it anyway, probably be granny-shifting not double clutchin like he should
DESTROYA
Member
I do this now .I will say I love the idea of lonely late night drives. I think I'll do that if I ever learn. Always just wanted to drive somewhere with lowkey music late. I guess it's good until you end up somewhere sketchy and regret your decision.
With Covid and stuff just getting out the house to clear your head for a hour or 2 is great
Couple of times a week I’ll just grab a ice coffee and listen to tunes or not, it;s better than sitting your ass in front of a TV and a bit therapeutic....for me anyway .
888
Member
Look here fat. It’s time to expand your abilities and become self reliant. There may be a time when there won’t be anyone able to help you. One of the most important things in life is developing the ability to be fully independent, not saying you have to be fully independent but at least have the ability to function on your own if needed.
If I can get hit in the driver door of my car by a fully loaded semi, crack my head open on the bumper as it pushed me into the passenger seat while the force ripped off the base of my skull then pick myself back up a week after getting out of the hospital and drive right with semis on the road with no fear you can drive your ass down wherever you need to. (Phew, stupid long sentence).
Now stand up, take your anime shirt off, go upstairs from the basement and get in your parents car in an empty parking lot and practice. Absolutely nothing to fear but the fear of having your mom drop you off on a date at 40.
You got this, probably, maybe...
If I can get hit in the driver door of my car by a fully loaded semi, crack my head open on the bumper as it pushed me into the passenger seat while the force ripped off the base of my skull then pick myself back up a week after getting out of the hospital and drive right with semis on the road with no fear you can drive your ass down wherever you need to. (Phew, stupid long sentence).
Now stand up, take your anime shirt off, go upstairs from the basement and get in your parents car in an empty parking lot and practice. Absolutely nothing to fear but the fear of having your mom drop you off on a date at 40.
You got this, probably, maybe...
Last I checked a standard was a manual transmission. (Back even in the 50s the default transmission was the standard.) Admittedly these days most cars are some form of automatic. (Hydromatic, CVT, dual clutch.)
Virt McPolygon
Banned
Is that the one that crashes into concrete freeway ramp dividers?
I drive by that interchange daily.. well I did before Covid. Anyway, driving does fucking suck. Just get a super cheap, reliable car to make it more pleasant.
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German Hops
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
Yeah and it's kind of sad. An overwhelming percentage of Americans go for automatic. (96%)
Here's an article detailing this : Why-Americans-drive-automatic
Peggies
Gold Member
Yes, that's what I thought!
But I get the knee problem thing. Being stuck in a stop and go situation is awful for the knee. Poor daddy!
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teezzy
Banned
Peggies
Gold Member
Driving manual intimidates me
Alpha woman peggy confirmed
It's just as
German Hops
pointed out, that you guys are much more used to automatic. Rarerly anyone in Europe drives automatic (yet).Thanks for the article by the way!
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NeoIkaruGAF
Gold Member
Public transport in Italy is quite abysmal and pretty expensive, so learning to drive isn’t an option for people born after the 70s. There’s still a number of old ladies around that never got a licence (one of my grandmas never did), but it’s absolutely exceptional for anyone older than 22 to not have a driving licence. When kids in high school turn 17 and 6 months, driving lessons is basically all you hear about during school breaks, because you need a car ASAP if you want to stay relevant in your circle of friends. Not even your parents will leave you alone if you don’t want to rush it for some reason. You must learn how to drive, period.
Actually owning a car is a different matter, because Euro regulations about car emissions impose a lot of restrictions on older vehicles, and sometimes even some newish cars aren’t allowed to circulate all the time during the winter when air pollution rises. But anyone who can afford a car will get one. It’s totally the norm to have at least two cars in a family. It’s unthinkable to have to rely on a single car if both partners in a couple work, let alone if they have kids.
Actually owning a car is a different matter, because Euro regulations about car emissions impose a lot of restrictions on older vehicles, and sometimes even some newish cars aren’t allowed to circulate all the time during the winter when air pollution rises. But anyone who can afford a car will get one. It’s totally the norm to have at least two cars in a family. It’s unthinkable to have to rely on a single car if both partners in a couple work, let alone if they have kids.
Iced Arcade
Member
you need an ativan
Jezbollah
Member
The enjoyment of driving is a lot down to the environment you are in. If you are in end to end shitty, stressful traffic, then it's to be expected that driving is an unpleasent experience.
I am lucky enough to live a little bit out in the countryside, with some really nice driving routes. Being able to take a couple of hours out to put on some music and go for a relaxing, sceneic driving is valuable to me. I really enjoy it.
I am lucky enough to live a little bit out in the countryside, with some really nice driving routes. Being able to take a couple of hours out to put on some music and go for a relaxing, sceneic driving is valuable to me. I really enjoy it.