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I hate the idea of driving a car

nkarafo

Member
I'm in my late 30s and i still don't drive. Don't have a license or know how to actually drive. I only tried twice, learned nothing and i absolutely hated it.

I don't like the idea of being on a road with other drivers watching my next move or having to be aware of so many things while operating such a heavy machine of death.

All those signs, the rules, all the other cars around you, etc, give me bad anxiety.

When i see someone casually driving while talking or doing other things, i'm like, wtf mate, how do you do that. Is everyone else a multitasking genius except me?

All my life i am relying on public transport or someone else driving me around. It makes it harder for me to find jobs or even a girlfriend. But i still don't want to go through it.

Are there any others of similar age as sick in the head as me?
 
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I'm in my late 30s and i still don't drive. Don't have a license or know how to actually drive. I only tried twice, learned nothing and i absolutely hated it.

I don't like the idea of being on a road with other drivers watching my next move or having to be aware of so many things while operating such a heavy machine of death.

All those signs, the rules, all the other cars around you, etc, give me bad anxiety.

When i see someone casually driving while talking or doing other things, i'm like, wtf mate, how do you do that. Is everyone else a multitasking genius except me?

All my life i am relying on public transport or someone else driving me around. It makes it harder for me to find jobs or even a girlfriend. But i still don't want to go through it.

Are there any others of similar age as sick in the head as me?
You gotta stop doing those pretzel motions. A car is like an input device. It goes forward or reverse or kind of like an eight way direction. Except there is no shoryuken motions or pretzel motions or ranbu motions.
 

nush

Member
or someone else driving me around.

My dad took the family out for drives most weekends when I was growing up. I learned road signs and the sound the engine makes when the gears need to be changed as well as a whole lot of stuff simply from being in the car so much as a kid. If you've just got your phone shoved in your face the whole time you are traveling you don't learn those skills passively so it's going to be more difficult to learn.

Even riding the bus you can memory map the streets and locations to make navigation easier when you finally can drive. I didn't learn to drive until I was in my mid 20's because like you "I didn't need to". But when I decided it would be a good idea to learn was when I got a job in the next town over and I was relying on a colleague to take me to work, otherwise the journey would take far too long. Taxi to train station, train, taxi to office would have been too much time and additional cost.

It was a good decision as about two weeks after I got my license the guy giving me rides to work got his license suspended for speeding ( Too many points). So I took over driving for us even though I was super nervous as a new driver and it was quite a long way each day. I Got Gud.
 

nkarafo

Member
If you've just got your phone shoved in your face the whole time you are traveling you don't learn those skills passively so it's going to be more difficult to learn.
I'm in my late 30's. People drove me around for many years before i ever got my first phone. I still only know of the most basic things like the red light or the STOP sign. It's like my brain is incompatible with these things and doesn't want to store any information. Maybe it's denial, maybe i'm stupid, who knows.
 

nush

Member
It's like my brain is incompatible with these things and doesn't want to store any information. Maybe it's denial,
images
 

Mossybrew

Member
You've put it off too long and now built up this weird fear inside your head. Most of us got over these fears in our late teens, you are way behind my man. Turns out those fears were unfounded then as they are now, driving is easy. You just learn to operate a motor vehicle, which is easier than learning the controls of most videogames these days, and pay basic attention to your surroundings. Nothing to it. Confront your fears and just do it.
 

Tesseract

Banned
jesus christ m8, you gotta get over the hurdles of anxiety because ultimately there's no accounting for experience

nab your state's manual or handbook and study the rules then get to practice tests and prep courses

if you can drive, you should learn how to drive
 

GHG

Member
Maybe it's denial, maybe i'm stupid, who knows.

No. It's just that you're not trying.

The important thing is do you want to try? Not all is lost and its never too late to try and do something.

In my opinion you should learn, not just so that you can, but to prove to yourself you can overcome the anxiety you've built up surrounding this.

Whether you still want to drive after learning to and getting your license is another story but at least then you'll have the option. Also it's a very important skill to have as an adult, to the extent that it could save your life or someone else's in extreme circumstances.
 
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cd_jakevas

Member
Unless you have some severe disability this is a huge flaw that you need to overcome. How can you keep going through life bound by depending on others for transportation?

Maybe its because I live in Texas but my quality of life would be severely hindered if I had to depend on others for transportation. Work, relationships, just life it general would be so much worse.
 

Mossybrew

Member
Confronting and overcoming situations we find uncomfortable is how we grow. If you avoid everything in life that scares you, you will end up a shriveled old piece of shit that never ventured outside their comfort zone. You have this one life, dont squander it.
 

wondermega

Member
I have come across a couple of people like this in my day - for whatever reason, they just never were interested in it/"thought it was dumb" and maybe missed their window where everyone else in their peer group went through it. It's not a reflection of the person's mental abilities or anything, but I can see how after several years it can get built up in one's head and become a source of major anxiety.

Anyway, to those I say - grow up. Either just be fine with not ever driving and never planning to do it ever, and in that case don't even make a thread about it unless you are looking for either people who can relate to you or people who are going to tell you to get over it and just fucking do it..

I remember being 17, the thought of driving was absolutely terrifying to me. I was a little older than most of my friends so didn't really have anyone to lean on, and when my parents would take me to a parking lot to practice... well, they were neurotic basket-cases and made it all the more nerve-wracking for me. I think I was still on my learner's permit and I got a fender-bender (my fault!) and that was enough to make me shy away from it for at least another good year.

But you know what, I got over it. I think it was around then that I started just listening to a lot of music (while driving, to help distract my nervous thoughts) and it actually worked. Before long I started to "get it" and driving became second nature. All these years later (I've been driving much more than half of my life) and I still enjoy it, the freedom it gives, the world is so much more accessible over all. Mind you I live in a suburb in southern California, not a densely packed city with a fabulous transit system at my immediate disposal every second but you get my drift.

Anyway it is truly one of the great self-created evolutions of man, along with things like the telephone and the Internet. If you are really unable to partake in it, consider that most of the rest of us would feel just as limited were we to suddenly lack access to one of those other two. Ignore the jokes and the prods of the other people in this thread, unless you really have no use for driving in your life (now or potentially ever) you are really kind of living as a sort of half-person in the eyes of society at this point. And there's not really much you need to do in order to change that.

EDIT: Also I forgot to mention the most important bit - driving is designed to be EASY AS SHIT for people who are way, way stupider than you are, and nearly all of them are quite good at it. This is definitely not something you cannot handle!
 
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Mistake

Member
Music and where you drive makes the difference between monotony and a pleasurable experience. I like going through the mountains or wooded areas by the lake on a fall day. Driving around the coast of nova scotia was also really nice. Some things you grow into
 
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German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
Learn to drive on a stick; it makes the experience of driving more intimate and fun. There is going to be a bit of a learning curve for any stick shift car. I learned to drive a manual on a 91 Civic, which was the first car I ever bought. Can't remember how many times I stalled on the drive home, but it was a lot. Spent the next week just driving around the neighborhood at night (less chance of traffic), just learning to get going from a stop. Once underway, it's easy.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
Unless someone lives downtown, walks everywhere, and it's too expensive to have a car or parking spot (downtown Toronto condo parking spot is about $50k), everyone should learn to drive.

- Freedom
- Who wants to wait for the bus?
- Why bother people "Hey, can you pick me up?"
- Fast
- You load the car up with people, gear, groceries
- No standing in the cold in winter or rain

One of my best buddies only had a car for a short time as he's a downtown guy. But he's also one of those guys who always asks people for a lift, or pick him up at a subway station. The guy has saved so much money not having a car, yet is too cheap to take a taxi or Uber and prays someone will say yes, as he doesn't want to take a subway or bus if it's too far. And then when the night is over, he asks someone to drop him off.

Don't be one of those guys.
 
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I'm in my late 30s and i still don't drive. Don't have a license or know how to actually drive. I only tried twice, learned nothing and i absolutely hated it.

I don't like the idea of being on a road with other drivers watching my next move or having to be aware of so many things while operating such a heavy machine of death.

All those signs, the rules, all the other cars around you, etc, give me bad anxiety.

When i see someone casually driving while talking or doing other things, i'm like, wtf mate, how do you do that. Is everyone else a multitasking genius except me?

All my life i am relying on public transport or someone else driving me around. It makes it harder for me to find jobs or even a girlfriend. But i still don't want to go through it.

Are there any others of similar age as sick in the head as me?
Im 41 and ive never had a car license...most of the time it was money reasons but really i never feel comfortable in a car and i have problems with depth seeing around the car when navigating space.

oddly enough i have no problems driving motorcycles and always feel safer and more in control..and more free.
 
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Just try to imagine cars only having the ability to go forward on the road. That way, you can sort of predict where they're going to go.

Of course you wont learn much after 2 tries. I mostly self-learned. Keep at it, watch some YouTube videos, play some Tokyo Bus Guide, and you will be able to drive a car. Stick with automatic transmission vehicles for an easy experience.

OP, in your case, don't listen to the "learn to drive stick" people. Driving stick shift is just one more thing you gotta manage while driving and doesn't make your dick appear any bigger, despite what others like to think.
 

belmarduk

Member
I'm in my late 30s and i still don't drive. Don't have a license or know how to actually drive. I only tried twice, learned nothing and i absolutely hated it.

I don't like the idea of being on a road with other drivers watching my next move or having to be aware of so many things while operating such a heavy machine of death.

All those signs, the rules, all the other cars around you, etc, give me bad anxiety.

When i see someone casually driving while talking or doing other things, i'm like, wtf mate, how do you do that. Is everyone else a multitasking genius except me?

All my life i am relying on public transport or someone else driving me around. It makes it harder for me to find jobs or even a girlfriend. But i still don't want to go through it.

Are there any others of similar age as sick in the head as me?

Are you high? This seems like the type of thread someone would make when high. No judgement.. I just like to know what I'm dealing with.
 

dave_d

Member
When i see someone casually driving while talking or doing other things, i'm like, wtf mate, how do you do that. Is everyone else a multitasking genius except me?
Nah, the ugly secret is most drivers are unbelievably terrible at it. As in can't properly execute a turn.(Seriously) Hell, from what I've seen less that 30% of drivers have any idea what a yield sign actually means. (No, it doesn't mean nothing and no it isn't a super stop sign either. No, there's no such thing as yielding to air but so many people think that's a thing.) I could probably list something on the order of 20-30 things I regularly see people get wrong.
 
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JimboJones

Member
I had pretty bad anxiety at the start, I kept thinking about cars behind me, " what if im to slow, cause a traffic jam" etc.

My dad help teach me, in between driving lessons i'd just basically be his personal driver a lot of time which was great practice and helped with the anxiety.

The hardest part was learning to drive for the test, like they would mark you down for not seeing you move your head to look into mirrors so you had to do all these super exaggerated motions, was a bit ridiculous at times.
 

pramod

Banned
I've been driving for 20+ years and I will be honest: I still suck at it and I still find it terrifying at times, but I have no choice since it's needed to live a regular independent adult life, especially in the USA.

The sad fact is that there are just too many madman out on the roads and it's getting worse all the time. I think you can at least try to get a license so you can drive when you have to, but still try to rely on public transportation as much as you can. I don't blame you if you don't like the idea of driving.
 
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How have you not learnt to drive just to avoid the embarrassment and shame of constantly asking competent, non lazy people to inconvenience themselves to give you rides like a bloody child.

Stop being a selfish, lazy wanker, pull yourself together and learn to drive like a god damned adult.
 

Peggies

Gold Member
OP, don't worry! I've had my licence really late, at 34. At first I was really anxious about not annoying other drivers. I guess that's because I grew up with a driving father screaming about "all those ugly bastards and cunts who can't drive" but I got over that. Now I'm a pretty pretty good driver and do a lot of swearing myself.

driving road rage GIF by hanshs4c


You can do it! :messenger_horns:
 
Well seeing as over 1 million people die in car accidents in the world every year, I’d say your ”fear” is perfectly rational. But if it makes your life suck, you should still reconsider.

I got my license at 33 years old. My family didn’t even have a car when I was growing up. I live in a country where driving is taxed so much that if you can avoid it you should. And the license costs fucking $2000. Many young people in cities here don’t even get a license nowadays. The city planners do everything in their power to discourage driving.

I live in the city center and don’t need a car, but I still wanted to get the license to feel like a real man. I haven’t driven much since I got it. But at least I CAN now drive if there’s an emergency or something.
 

Hudo

Member
I don't like driving a car either, it's fucking boring and feels too restricting. But I do love to drive my BMW R nineT Scrambler!
 
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Peggies

Gold Member
How have you not learnt to drive just to avoid the embarrassment and shame of constantly asking competent, non lazy people to inconvenience themselves to give you rides like a bloody child.

Stop being a selfish, lazy wanker, pull yourself together and learn to drive like a god damned adult.
offended danny devito GIF
 
I'm glad that my teacher showed no mercy, and showed me how to not be afraid. He was the worst best teacher you could ever imagine.

His first leasson was: taking me to the roads at la sierra of Madrid wich is like driving in the worst dangerous roads you could ever imagine, and pull the pedal all the way up until i was completely horrified.

I've never feel fear until then.
 
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