ClassyPenguin
Banned
shouldn't an admin lock the other thread?
-
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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
Thanks, ClassyPenguin. You live up to your name (what with all the raw fish you eat. It's so weird).
I keep getting asked this, so I'll answer it again: yes, I do suffer from depression; that's why I'm here! I've been hospitalized for it, I've taken a zillion different meds, done therapy, the whole thing. I live with it and try to work through it (with my own successes and failures), so I use the community as much as anyone. I don't post about it much, because I really try to focus on helping others (which is my way of getting help - it's not just pure altruism!), and I keep my own mess in chats.
That's like my Bagels FAQ.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
If I could live off of quality sushi I would.
I put in the request.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Thanks for the suggestions last page oomi and urban. Not 5 minutes after I made that post I found out that Bill Burr had a podcast which was great but also led me to discover the Joe Rogan podcast, which was hilarious. Guess I just needed to inject some comedy into my day
Soothing music doesn't work for my job because it's not something I need to focus on at all. There's no complex task to focus on, it's...just scanning. But I know people who benefit from music like that used in tandem with tasks. I would recommend this
http://tunein.com/radio/Music-for-Programming-p402047/
free internet radio station. I think it'd be right up the alley of people who study/work better with music.
Soothing music doesn't work for my job because it's not something I need to focus on at all. There's no complex task to focus on, it's...just scanning. But I know people who benefit from music like that used in tandem with tasks. I would recommend this
http://tunein.com/radio/Music-for-Programming-p402047/
free internet radio station. I think it'd be right up the alley of people who study/work better with music.
That's a fine OP.
In the last thread, I asked for some help about staying motivated and working. I'm currently in school, but I just have such a hard time bringing myself to sit down and do my work that I end up blowing it off. All of my work requires an internet connection which is part of why it's so hard to stay motivated.
Can I get some more advice?
In the last thread, I asked for some help about staying motivated and working. I'm currently in school, but I just have such a hard time bringing myself to sit down and do my work that I end up blowing it off. All of my work requires an internet connection which is part of why it's so hard to stay motivated.
Can I get some more advice?
I would reward myself for working. If you just say, "I need to work for the nest 5 hours!" you'll never even start. But do something for reading a few pages or doing a problem or whatever. Start with more frequent rewards and then bump up the amount of work between each break. It was always easier to build up to really working super hard than to try to just jump in all at once.
Hypnotherapy is a tool, however it is 'unofficial' and unregulated. In essense it is the same as any other talk therapy, it aims to make positive changes to how you think. It faces the same challenge as any verbal therapy(CBT, talking to a psychiatrist, posts on this forum) which is that the depressed or mentally ill mind is very good at rejecting positive suggestions. Even the normally functioning mind is good at that. Hypnotherapy tries to overcome this through the use of relaxation and trying to give suggestions in a way that don't get rejected.
However because it is unofficial and unregulated, there are no official standards, nor any strategic controlled trials taken. Any hypnotherapist will use a combination of techniques, none of which are individually proven. They won't do damage, but each individual technique they use, may or may not work.
If you want to use it, just make sure to do your research and make sure you are comfortable with the person you choose to work with.
Charles Foster Kane
Rosebud
Very good thread Bags, a lot of thought and good intentions put into it.
jufonuk
not tag worthy
GAD and Panic Attack Sufferer, with a side order of low self esteem and depression..
I am subbing to this list
currently under going CBT and Therapy to help me.
might be a useful link:
http://www.fiveareas.com/resourcearea/
I am subbing to this list
currently under going CBT and Therapy to help me.
might be a useful link:
http://www.fiveareas.com/resourcearea/
If I could live off of quality sushi I would.
Oh heck yes! + veggies and hummus to round things out a little. :d
brettchalupa
Member
Howdy, I am Brett. I am an on and off GAF user, and my life is always in this weird eight month cycle where I stop whatever I have going good for me and totally change it. It is probably not good to not stick things out, but it just seems to keep happening. When that change happens I tend to just shut myself in and go into some form of a depression.
I can feel another onset of depression coming, as I just left my job/current client (I develop web applications, and I was in a business partnership with another doing work for clients. It was not working out, as we wanted different things from our work lives. I had been fixing bugs for seven months straight on a project, and I got burnt out.). I have other client work lined up to a lesser extent (less than 40 hours a week, hooray. 40 hours a week of client work is too much for me), but I am feeling a bit lost right now without the feeling of having to work 9-5, chat with other people (I work from home, so group chat w/ other developers/friends/etc.) and just not having another person to go through running a business with.
Now that I do not have to do as much "work" everyday, I have more free time, which is what I wanted. However, the last time I took a big jump to have more free time to work on projects I wanted to work on, I ended up just doing the opposite and hardly working on them at all. I wanted to make video games (and still do!), so I thought it would be a good idea to try and develop indie games by myself. I realized over the course of a year that it is a huge undertaking to program the game, make the art, think about design, and even consider audio. I ended up starting a bunch of smaller game projects, but I never finished any. I had whole days to do whatever I wanted, but I ended up not doing much.
I would imagine that having some consistent client work to pay the bills will keep me more on track than when I tried to only make games, but I am still feeling weird about everything. I have some goals/dreams and projects I want to work on, but I just feel alone for a very large part of the day. I find myself worrying about that and trying to combat than instead of focusing on doing client work and fun development.
I ordered a TV and PS3 to spend some of that free time playing games (I moved about a year ago and sold mostly everything I owned). I figure playing some games would be nice to compliment reading in my free time. I also have started some open-source projects I am really into, and they will keep me busy and will help me continue to learn.
But what I wanted to ask is: how do people deal with loneliness? I live with great roommates, but I just constantly feel like I am alone. I do not have a significant other or partner, so I just spend my days alone working and then some time with my roommates and their friends. Part of me worries I am missing out on the friends people make at work/in offices/at school, but the other part of me really loves the freedom of working from home and working on my own schedule. Working in a coffeeshop is a little better than being at home, but that is not really forming the relationships that happen at school/at work.
Thanks for reading if you got this far, and I appreciate any help. I will stay up to date w/ this thread, and I would love to try and help others.
I can feel another onset of depression coming, as I just left my job/current client (I develop web applications, and I was in a business partnership with another doing work for clients. It was not working out, as we wanted different things from our work lives. I had been fixing bugs for seven months straight on a project, and I got burnt out.). I have other client work lined up to a lesser extent (less than 40 hours a week, hooray. 40 hours a week of client work is too much for me), but I am feeling a bit lost right now without the feeling of having to work 9-5, chat with other people (I work from home, so group chat w/ other developers/friends/etc.) and just not having another person to go through running a business with.
Now that I do not have to do as much "work" everyday, I have more free time, which is what I wanted. However, the last time I took a big jump to have more free time to work on projects I wanted to work on, I ended up just doing the opposite and hardly working on them at all. I wanted to make video games (and still do!), so I thought it would be a good idea to try and develop indie games by myself. I realized over the course of a year that it is a huge undertaking to program the game, make the art, think about design, and even consider audio. I ended up starting a bunch of smaller game projects, but I never finished any. I had whole days to do whatever I wanted, but I ended up not doing much.
I would imagine that having some consistent client work to pay the bills will keep me more on track than when I tried to only make games, but I am still feeling weird about everything. I have some goals/dreams and projects I want to work on, but I just feel alone for a very large part of the day. I find myself worrying about that and trying to combat than instead of focusing on doing client work and fun development.
I ordered a TV and PS3 to spend some of that free time playing games (I moved about a year ago and sold mostly everything I owned). I figure playing some games would be nice to compliment reading in my free time. I also have started some open-source projects I am really into, and they will keep me busy and will help me continue to learn.
But what I wanted to ask is: how do people deal with loneliness? I live with great roommates, but I just constantly feel like I am alone. I do not have a significant other or partner, so I just spend my days alone working and then some time with my roommates and their friends. Part of me worries I am missing out on the friends people make at work/in offices/at school, but the other part of me really loves the freedom of working from home and working on my own schedule. Working in a coffeeshop is a little better than being at home, but that is not really forming the relationships that happen at school/at work.
Thanks for reading if you got this far, and I appreciate any help. I will stay up to date w/ this thread, and I would love to try and help others.
Collete
Member
How do I deal with loneliness? It's hard but you have to come to terms with yourself that you do have people around you and the acquaintances that you don't think count. It's rough when you feel lonely when a particular person isn't around, but you aren't as lonely as you think you are...But it's tricky...It takes a lot of practice for your mind to truly realize and acknowledge the people around your life. Be persistent with this. Is it not possible to make friends with your coworkers at the coffeeshop? Like go out for a drink after a work shift with them? If you're not even in talking terms with them, try starting small with them and talk small with them like how it's raining or the lack of it, latest sport's game, etc.
I have read your post, you seem like an OK person. I hope you stick around with us to help. We can use all the help we can get.
I hope you can finally find the motivation to finish developing a game. I'd be willing to beta test it, for free of course
I don't deal with loneliness. Or more precisely, I don't cope with it well. It brings me down, and makes me feel worthless. I have friends, but don't see them too often. I talk to my coworkers and family, yet I still feel completely alone. Don't get me started on relationships, just the mention of the topic can make me feel like shit.
And today I am reminded why you should register with a doctor on time and get a new prescription asap after moving.
Ran out of meds and feel like I got hit by a bus which parked itself on my head. No energy or motivation at all counting the seconds till I can go home from work.
Above is not meant to be a rant please take it in a slightly humourous tone. Almost did not notice how my thinking had changed after beginning medication. Not cured by any means but I had forgotten what days like this felt like - slow and subtle changes had taken place since I started meds in December.
Ran out of meds and feel like I got hit by a bus which parked itself on my head. No energy or motivation at all counting the seconds till I can go home from work.
Above is not meant to be a rant please take it in a slightly humourous tone. Almost did not notice how my thinking had changed after beginning medication. Not cured by any means but I had forgotten what days like this felt like - slow and subtle changes had taken place since I started meds in December.
AFollowerNotALeader
Member
Today's GMail outage caused me my first (OCD/anxiety induced) real panic attack in a very long time.
Time for boring things.
Oh, and I'm willing to help/listen/give OCD advice as best I can if anyone on here needs it.
If you are in the UK and suffering from OCD, OCD UK (http://www.ocduk.org/) are a charity that provides lots of support for both sufferers and their loved ones.
Time for boring things.
Oh, and I'm willing to help/listen/give OCD advice as best I can if anyone on here needs it.
If you are in the UK and suffering from OCD, OCD UK (http://www.ocduk.org/) are a charity that provides lots of support for both sufferers and their loved ones.
Figured I'd sub and give a little status report.
Been having anxiety problems in one form or another all my life, but things got worst last summer with a string of unprovoked panic attacks (well, unprovoked specifically; I had a few projects fail in that timeframe that made me feel bad about my competence in general). I've pinned most of it on hating work, therapists have been helping, but I had a couple breakdowns earlier this year that made me accept medication.
Finally got started on (generic) Lexapro on the 1st, which led to a week of being kinda fuzzy and exhausted but no real improvement in mood. Even wound up having a panic attack over the weekend. That's apparently expected to take a while to really work, though, so when I went back I was given some (generic) Xanax to take as needed. Only felt I needed it once, but again, not really noticing anything- my mindset didn't really change, I just stopped fidgeting so damn much. Wasn't happier, wasn't really more relaxed.
So I dunno. I kinda feel like all my motivation is gone, can't get myself to apply for new jobs or do all that much at my current one (and I haven't worked on personal projects all month). And I don't really see any significant improvement above what my mood tends to swing to anyway, so I'm unsure if the meds are a net positive. I'm not even 100% sure I needed them. They don't seem to be making things worse, though. And I don't know if they're just doing what they should and I need to do something to really take advantage of things or what.
But I've avoided most of the physical side effects, so woo there.
Been having anxiety problems in one form or another all my life, but things got worst last summer with a string of unprovoked panic attacks (well, unprovoked specifically; I had a few projects fail in that timeframe that made me feel bad about my competence in general). I've pinned most of it on hating work, therapists have been helping, but I had a couple breakdowns earlier this year that made me accept medication.
Finally got started on (generic) Lexapro on the 1st, which led to a week of being kinda fuzzy and exhausted but no real improvement in mood. Even wound up having a panic attack over the weekend. That's apparently expected to take a while to really work, though, so when I went back I was given some (generic) Xanax to take as needed. Only felt I needed it once, but again, not really noticing anything- my mindset didn't really change, I just stopped fidgeting so damn much. Wasn't happier, wasn't really more relaxed.
So I dunno. I kinda feel like all my motivation is gone, can't get myself to apply for new jobs or do all that much at my current one (and I haven't worked on personal projects all month). And I don't really see any significant improvement above what my mood tends to swing to anyway, so I'm unsure if the meds are a net positive. I'm not even 100% sure I needed them. They don't seem to be making things worse, though. And I don't know if they're just doing what they should and I need to do something to really take advantage of things or what.
But I've avoided most of the physical side effects, so woo there.
dutchguyjack
Member
I think everyone deals with loneliness in their own way. If nothing's on I spend my time learning things that interest me, or playing games that I really enjoy, or even reading books on programming and psychology. Basically distract myself by having fun with things I can do on my own.
On the other hand, I also like to go to various evening classes such as dancing and put myself in social settings, you get to know a lot of people and it's a really nice way to deal with feeling lonely.
Well, after a few months of sort of internal struggle and "training" myself, I have gotten to a point where I couldn't care less if I let any new people into my life.
I've also managed to sort of change the way I think in terms of sharing my struggles. I am keeping more and more of that internally and not whining about it constantly.
So now, if someone doesn't like me, or stops talking to me/doesn't want to meet me, it isn't because I was being a whiny little bitch, it's for some other reason entirely.
Yay.
I've also managed to sort of change the way I think in terms of sharing my struggles. I am keeping more and more of that internally and not whining about it constantly.
So now, if someone doesn't like me, or stops talking to me/doesn't want to meet me, it isn't because I was being a whiny little bitch, it's for some other reason entirely.
Yay.
N
NinjaFridge
Unconfirmed Member
Lifeline number for Northern Ireland: 0808 808 8000
brettchalupa
Member
Ah that is the thing, I do not have any coworkers. I just kind of do my own thing. But that is true, making an effort to say hello and converse with others around me in coffeeshops is definitely possible. Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it!
I hope you can finally find the motivation to finish developing a game. I'd be willing to beta test it, for free of course
I don't deal with loneliness. Or more precisely, I don't cope with it well. It brings me down, and makes me feel worthless. I have friends, but don't see them too often. I talk to my coworkers and family, yet I still feel completely alone. Don't get me started on relationships, just the mention of the topic can make me feel like shit.
That is what I mean - I have a caring family and solid roommates and friends, but it still feels like something is missing. I would love to have you test whatever I work on, just taking things slower now with personal projects before jumping in super fast and burning myself out.
I think that's the key - putting myself in a social setting. Since I work from home and am not in school, doing volunteer work or taking classes like yoga or screen printing could help. There is always that initial hangup I have of wanting to do those things but then just not doing them when the time comes. It helps to do things like that with others, so maybe I should suggest doing things like that with another.
dutchguyjack
Member
I think that's the key - putting myself in a social setting. Since I work from home and am not in school, doing volunteer work or taking classes like yoga or screen printing could help. There is always that initial hangup I have of wanting to do those things but then just not doing them when the time comes. It helps to do things like that with others, so maybe I should suggest doing things like that with another.
From personal experience the best things to do to get to know people are volunteering and dancing - they're both inherently social environments so you can even go on your own if you don't know anyone else who wants to go.
Thing I did was to look at a number of dances and see which ones looked like fun, so found the nearest class and just went. Same would work for any other type of class, and Martial Arts is a great way to socialise as well.
Diseased Yak
Gold Member
You'd really be surprised at how many people will talk right back to you!
I'm struggling with loneliness as well. I divorced last fall (September or so) after 17+ years of marriage, and it's been a huge struggle for me to deal with living alone, really for the first time in my whole life. Living at home as a kid, roommate in college, getting married... I've always lived with at least one other person, until now at the ripe old age of 38 I find myself without anyone.
To make matters worse, all of my good friends are married with kids, or divorced with kids, or in some way have kids to worry about, which means no time to hang out hardly at all. Once a month or so we get together for beers and such. Once again, this is the product of age, I realize that.
I've tried dating, and that's worked for the most part, but I found it very hard to connect with anyone, due to the double-edged sword of dating again after 20 years of not dating, and also my anxiety disorder. I had panic attacks as a child, centered around getting lost for some reason. I would curl up in the floor of the car if my dad missed an exit on the interstate. Finally those stopped, and I had no problems until 2 years ago or so, I had a sudden panic attack just sitting at my desk at work.
I had subsequent panic attacks for a few months after that, using the occasional Ativan to keep them at bay. With CBT and the Ativan, I overcame them and settled into (an apparent) lifetime of anxiety but no panic attacks. It's made me not go out as often, though I still do. I force myself to go to concerts, where I have an ok time for a bit but by the end I'm all but fleeing towards the exits. I know it's not a good idea to sit at home all the time, but damned if it isn't easier!
So, no drugs now (for that anyway, I take a pile of them daily for severe asthma), just twice-monthly therapy that involves CBT and tapping (EFT). I find the tapping helps me more than anything. If any of you with anxiety disorder haven't tried EFT tapping I highly suggest you do. It may seem stupid and nonsensical at first, but lots of people have had great success with it (also for PTSD treatment), myself included.
My day-to-day is for the most part managed, but I still have bad anxiety some days. Luckily I've come to realize that tightness in my chest or pain in my side, or the buzzing in my left foot, is all due to that and I am, in fact, not about to die!
SniperHunter
Banned
I personally used to suffer from crippling level of anxiety, I couldn't leave the house, my grades in school were low because I skipped all major presentations, I didn't have any friends and I avoided girls.
My doc gave me some brain drugs but I didn't take them. Over the last few years, a couple of things have helped me tremendously:
1.)
I believe by exercising almost 6 days a week (running 30 to 45 minutes a day on elliptical machine) helped me the most. It gave me a lot of mental clarity, my grades shot up big time and I was easily able to cope with anxiety. Now I can safely say I have no anxiety at all, I can talk to girls, give presentations, go to restaurants and most importantly my grades are much better and I have much more confidence.
2.)
astaxanthin - I took it in pill form, very powerful supplement. Not very well tested ATM. I have found, taking 1 small pill gets rid of any looming anxiety - I don't take this very often.
3.)
Turmeric also very powerful and again this might be a placebo. But taking this everyday helps me think clearly, make sure to buy the organic turmeric, boil water and put a teaspoon of turmeric in it.
Out of all three, I would recommend exercise the most. I also recommend cutting wheat from diet.
edit: I began my journey when someone on neogaf recommended this book to others (I wasn't a member then)
Reading this book inspired me to start running and start exercising. Also please note you have to stick with it!! Also your running must be intense (when I run on the elliptical, my heart rate is around 160 beats per minute). Last year I stopped exercising because I was working night shifts and some of my old addiction habits returned, just recently I started exercising again and now those habits are gone....so please I highly recommend that you stick with it for life!
One more thing, I was a vegetarian before, eating healthy natural meats has also helped me a lot! I don't think Indian food is very healthy or good for the brain (which I was consuming everyday)
My doc gave me some brain drugs but I didn't take them. Over the last few years, a couple of things have helped me tremendously:
1.)
I believe by exercising almost 6 days a week (running 30 to 45 minutes a day on elliptical machine) helped me the most. It gave me a lot of mental clarity, my grades shot up big time and I was easily able to cope with anxiety. Now I can safely say I have no anxiety at all, I can talk to girls, give presentations, go to restaurants and most importantly my grades are much better and I have much more confidence.
2.)
astaxanthin - I took it in pill form, very powerful supplement. Not very well tested ATM. I have found, taking 1 small pill gets rid of any looming anxiety - I don't take this very often.
3.)
Turmeric also very powerful and again this might be a placebo. But taking this everyday helps me think clearly, make sure to buy the organic turmeric, boil water and put a teaspoon of turmeric in it.
Out of all three, I would recommend exercise the most. I also recommend cutting wheat from diet.
edit: I began my journey when someone on neogaf recommended this book to others (I wasn't a member then)
Reading this book inspired me to start running and start exercising. Also please note you have to stick with it!! Also your running must be intense (when I run on the elliptical, my heart rate is around 160 beats per minute). Last year I stopped exercising because I was working night shifts and some of my old addiction habits returned, just recently I started exercising again and now those habits are gone....so please I highly recommend that you stick with it for life!
One more thing, I was a vegetarian before, eating healthy natural meats has also helped me a lot! I don't think Indian food is very healthy or good for the brain (which I was consuming everyday)
BlueSummers
Member
Great OP and def subscribed. Depression Gaf has some of the nicest people in there and I hope more people find help with this thread.
EverythingShiny
Member
This is a great OT, Bagels. I lurked a bunch in the Depression thread, but that's mostly because I was waiting for my account to be confirmed so I could actually post something. I really wish I'd had a resource like this in my teens/early twenties.
A bit of background - I was born a highly sensitive person, so anxiety has been part of my life since I was a small child. I spent most of my childhood afraid of everything and everyone, not really coming out of my shell until college. My anxiety caused me to withdraw from everything, and, not surprisingly, depression quickly followed suit. I felt incredibly abnormal and alone. When I was 15, a doctor started me on antidepressants and I'd continue taking them for the next 12 years.
I had two major depressive episodes in college and nearly dropped out. Since then, I've continued to struggle with my issues, but not to the point where they've completely overrun my life. For that, I'm thankful. I've been off medication for about 2 years now (still take trazodone to sleep, but at a lower dosage) with the exception of taking xanax when my anxiety gets really bad.
So there is hope. I lead a fairly normal life - I have a decent job, a wonderful boyfriend, a nice apartment, the best cat in the world cat - but I still have days where I feel utterly hopeless, pathetic, and that I can't deal with life at all and no one could possibly understand how terrible I feel. Those days are a scary reminder of how bad things can get for me. Outside of my boyfriend, I don't really have any friends and I don't have a family support system, so on those days, I feel very alone.
I do have a question - has anyone had any experience with mindfulness-based cognitive therapy? I've recently gotten into mindfulness but I'm having a hard time sticking with it.
A bit of background - I was born a highly sensitive person, so anxiety has been part of my life since I was a small child. I spent most of my childhood afraid of everything and everyone, not really coming out of my shell until college. My anxiety caused me to withdraw from everything, and, not surprisingly, depression quickly followed suit. I felt incredibly abnormal and alone. When I was 15, a doctor started me on antidepressants and I'd continue taking them for the next 12 years.
I had two major depressive episodes in college and nearly dropped out. Since then, I've continued to struggle with my issues, but not to the point where they've completely overrun my life. For that, I'm thankful. I've been off medication for about 2 years now (still take trazodone to sleep, but at a lower dosage) with the exception of taking xanax when my anxiety gets really bad.
So there is hope. I lead a fairly normal life - I have a decent job, a wonderful boyfriend, a nice apartment, the best cat in the world cat - but I still have days where I feel utterly hopeless, pathetic, and that I can't deal with life at all and no one could possibly understand how terrible I feel. Those days are a scary reminder of how bad things can get for me. Outside of my boyfriend, I don't really have any friends and I don't have a family support system, so on those days, I feel very alone.
I do have a question - has anyone had any experience with mindfulness-based cognitive therapy? I've recently gotten into mindfulness but I'm having a hard time sticking with it.
malingenie
Member
Bagels, great work with the OT. You have been a champion for this cause and I salute you. I have gained a lot of perspective for my problem and have enjoyed trying to give back and help others in the Depression OT, I hope the trend continues with this one. Great endeavor.
Thank you Bagels for creating this space for sharing freely and safely.
I have a spouse who has been diagnosed with Type II rapid cycling bipolar disorder. Our marriage is currently in tatters - we have been separated for four months, and I think hope is growing dim for our future together.
Near the beginning of our marriage, I embarked on a scary decision to pursue writing as a profession (something she endorsed and vowed to support). Invested in my work and perhaps foolishly taking her support for granted, I was shocked and hurt to find that one day less than six months in that she wanted to separate; she had been depressed, blamed me for not seeing it, and became engaged in a increasingly close and uncomfortable friendship with another man she had just met (who had no interest in her romantically).
It was a painful period, but we eventually reconciled. Over the next several months, I dedicated myself to becoming a better partner. I worked to achieve better work/life balance, spending more quality time with her. We went on a wonderful trip overseas together and things were as good as they had ever been. Upon our return, we were to spend some time in comfortable solitude on an island during the winter months. As she learned about her illness and began taking mood stabilizers, I vowed to her that I was going to support her in her coping with her illness any way that I can.
But plans changed. She made the decision to go to the island to spend some time alone by herself, to find herself and understand herself better. I agreed in support, even thought it was painful for me. Coming back suddenly for a visit two weeks in, she had once again decided abruptly that she wanted a divorce, that I should have let her go the very first time, that it was a mistake for her to get married. I suggested counselling (previously before as well), but she stated that counselling was for people who wanted to make things work. Needless to say, I was a shocked and broken man.
I tried to fight for our marriage once again, for us. I think she was moved by it, and for awhile she believed that it wasn't the marriage that was the problem, but the loss of herself triggered by the illness. Physically and mentally exhausted by the ordeal, I wanted a partner who could commit to me, and when she reached out to me in another bout of depression, I asked for her commitment to our partnership as the solution. In retrospect, a demand I deemed reasonable was probably too much for her. She pushed away.
Right now, I'm not sure where things are at. We are still on friendly (but cool) terms, have conversations about our relationship, but she has found her own place and has stated that romantic feelings are triggers for her illness. While stable right now, she says she's not ready for reconciliation and is asking me to move on with my life, but I cannot. I still don't know which part is the illness and which part is her, and I want to do everything I humanly can to work on our marriage so that I will have no regrets in the future. I am not at the point where I am ready to mourn for the loss of us, which barely had a chance to take root. The uncertainty is the worst.
As I learned more about bipolar disorder, I could identify the symptoms of the illness manifesting themselves over our short marriage of one and a half years. I could see the periods of anxiety and hypomania, the incredibly hurtful decisions that she made in abrupt fashion, her inability to commit to any important tasks, periods of extra outgoingness followed by periods of intense introversion, and the signs that show up before she becomes a different person.
This past year has taken a heavy toll on my own mental health. I used to consider myself emotionally resilient and intelligent, but nowadays I go through daily bouts of sadness, anger, frustration, and hope. I know this is unhealthy and that I need to take care of myself in order to support her, but it's hard to break out of the cycle. I have tried looking for support groups for spouses of people with bipolar disorder, but most of them just are people telling their own personal horror stories with little actual help.
Sorry this is so long. Just needed to write. As for resources, I found this to be quite useful:
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Julie A. Fast
I have a spouse who has been diagnosed with Type II rapid cycling bipolar disorder. Our marriage is currently in tatters - we have been separated for four months, and I think hope is growing dim for our future together.
Near the beginning of our marriage, I embarked on a scary decision to pursue writing as a profession (something she endorsed and vowed to support). Invested in my work and perhaps foolishly taking her support for granted, I was shocked and hurt to find that one day less than six months in that she wanted to separate; she had been depressed, blamed me for not seeing it, and became engaged in a increasingly close and uncomfortable friendship with another man she had just met (who had no interest in her romantically).
It was a painful period, but we eventually reconciled. Over the next several months, I dedicated myself to becoming a better partner. I worked to achieve better work/life balance, spending more quality time with her. We went on a wonderful trip overseas together and things were as good as they had ever been. Upon our return, we were to spend some time in comfortable solitude on an island during the winter months. As she learned about her illness and began taking mood stabilizers, I vowed to her that I was going to support her in her coping with her illness any way that I can.
But plans changed. She made the decision to go to the island to spend some time alone by herself, to find herself and understand herself better. I agreed in support, even thought it was painful for me. Coming back suddenly for a visit two weeks in, she had once again decided abruptly that she wanted a divorce, that I should have let her go the very first time, that it was a mistake for her to get married. I suggested counselling (previously before as well), but she stated that counselling was for people who wanted to make things work. Needless to say, I was a shocked and broken man.
I tried to fight for our marriage once again, for us. I think she was moved by it, and for awhile she believed that it wasn't the marriage that was the problem, but the loss of herself triggered by the illness. Physically and mentally exhausted by the ordeal, I wanted a partner who could commit to me, and when she reached out to me in another bout of depression, I asked for her commitment to our partnership as the solution. In retrospect, a demand I deemed reasonable was probably too much for her. She pushed away.
Right now, I'm not sure where things are at. We are still on friendly (but cool) terms, have conversations about our relationship, but she has found her own place and has stated that romantic feelings are triggers for her illness. While stable right now, she says she's not ready for reconciliation and is asking me to move on with my life, but I cannot. I still don't know which part is the illness and which part is her, and I want to do everything I humanly can to work on our marriage so that I will have no regrets in the future. I am not at the point where I am ready to mourn for the loss of us, which barely had a chance to take root. The uncertainty is the worst.
As I learned more about bipolar disorder, I could identify the symptoms of the illness manifesting themselves over our short marriage of one and a half years. I could see the periods of anxiety and hypomania, the incredibly hurtful decisions that she made in abrupt fashion, her inability to commit to any important tasks, periods of extra outgoingness followed by periods of intense introversion, and the signs that show up before she becomes a different person.
This past year has taken a heavy toll on my own mental health. I used to consider myself emotionally resilient and intelligent, but nowadays I go through daily bouts of sadness, anger, frustration, and hope. I know this is unhealthy and that I need to take care of myself in order to support her, but it's hard to break out of the cycle. I have tried looking for support groups for spouses of people with bipolar disorder, but most of them just are people telling their own personal horror stories with little actual help.
Sorry this is so long. Just needed to write. As for resources, I found this to be quite useful:
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Julie A. Fast
I guess making the new thread and broadening the topic to mental health was a good choice - I'm relieved! I'm so happy to see new people finding the thread, hearing from lurkers from our old home, seeing new people in chat and in my PM inbox.
On the issue of renaming it Mental Health GAF, I'm hearing a lot more about anxiety disorders. I eventually developed some minor, periodic anxiety issues after so many years with depression, but it's not my main area of interest. I'd really appreciate more help writing about anxiety, listing resources, whatever you've got. I feel like it needs more focus based on community interest.
That was really what I liked about CBT - the emphasis on monitoring your own thoughts and being more aware of what you were thinking and why. I know mindfullness has become kind of its own thing, but you end up with a lot of that in the CBT framework. Learning about cognitive distortions can be so helpful in watching your own thoughts, and in helping others.
I added Mind Over Mood to the post on resources on the first page. That's a really nice intro to CBT, in a workbook format. I used that in outpatient therapy and during my hospital stay. I haven't kept up with doing it in a formal way, but I use the things I learned all the time. It has really helped me to be more mindful.
I'd love to see some more mindfulness resources, too!
If you're coming to chat from the link, it defaults to a generic "depgafuser" name. You don't have to use you GAF name, but picking some kind of handle helps us get to know you when you come back.
Another big welcome to people finding us for the first time, or lurkers deciding to say hello (or just lurkers in general!)! And love, love, love to our longtime depression-GAFfers. I've gotten a lot of comments about how blown away people are by how amazing our community is. It makes me feel so good to hear that. Even in the case of a poster who entered our last thread in a way that many people disagreed with, he was still treated kindly, he was listened to, and was grateful for the help he received by PM. That's a real testament to the people who post here. Nowadays, by the time I get around to exchanging messages with a new poster, I'll hear "well, I talked to these depression-GAFfers on steam, and they really helped me!" I'm just floored, especially as many of the people choosing to reach out to strangers themselves suffer from severe social anxiety issues. So I think everyone wins - the people reaching out are also becoming more comfortable being more sociable!
On the issue of renaming it Mental Health GAF, I'm hearing a lot more about anxiety disorders. I eventually developed some minor, periodic anxiety issues after so many years with depression, but it's not my main area of interest. I'd really appreciate more help writing about anxiety, listing resources, whatever you've got. I feel like it needs more focus based on community interest.
That was really what I liked about CBT - the emphasis on monitoring your own thoughts and being more aware of what you were thinking and why. I know mindfullness has become kind of its own thing, but you end up with a lot of that in the CBT framework. Learning about cognitive distortions can be so helpful in watching your own thoughts, and in helping others.
I added Mind Over Mood to the post on resources on the first page. That's a really nice intro to CBT, in a workbook format. I used that in outpatient therapy and during my hospital stay. I haven't kept up with doing it in a formal way, but I use the things I learned all the time. It has really helped me to be more mindful.
I'd love to see some more mindfulness resources, too!
If you're coming to chat from the link, it defaults to a generic "depgafuser" name. You don't have to use you GAF name, but picking some kind of handle helps us get to know you when you come back.
Another big welcome to people finding us for the first time, or lurkers deciding to say hello (or just lurkers in general!)! And love, love, love to our longtime depression-GAFfers. I've gotten a lot of comments about how blown away people are by how amazing our community is. It makes me feel so good to hear that. Even in the case of a poster who entered our last thread in a way that many people disagreed with, he was still treated kindly, he was listened to, and was grateful for the help he received by PM. That's a real testament to the people who post here. Nowadays, by the time I get around to exchanging messages with a new poster, I'll hear "well, I talked to these depression-GAFfers on steam, and they really helped me!" I'm just floored, especially as many of the people choosing to reach out to strangers themselves suffer from severe social anxiety issues. So I think everyone wins - the people reaching out are also becoming more comfortable being more sociable!
Zeouterlimits
Member
Good to have another thread.
Doing better than I've normally been for the past two weeks.
1) Trying not to think about what my future holds / how I've screwed things up
2) Having a good bit of work to do at work, not feeling like a waster
3) Having a fantastic weekend away with friends. Wow. It was so good.
And yet when I leave work soon, I'm going to feel tired and low. :-/
Doing better than I've normally been for the past two weeks.
1) Trying not to think about what my future holds / how I've screwed things up
2) Having a good bit of work to do at work, not feeling like a waster
3) Having a fantastic weekend away with friends. Wow. It was so good.
And yet when I leave work soon, I'm going to feel tired and low. :-/
Aw shucks. It's the least I could because reading/lurking the previous thread was pretty good help for me.
Collete
Member
It's better than anything I had in mind, haha. Good work.
My meds or something make me incredibly tired. I'll have a full nights sleep (8 hours or so) and as soon as I'm up I feel the need to take a nap (My naps last over 5 hours).
Then I'll wake up and get some work done, but take another nap shortly after that, and then go to sleep for the night.
I've been sleeping over 18 hours a day and it's really messing with my studying. If I force myself to stay up I can study but then I feel very foggy and tired.
Then I'll wake up and get some work done, but take another nap shortly after that, and then go to sleep for the night.
I've been sleeping over 18 hours a day and it's really messing with my studying. If I force myself to stay up I can study but then I feel very foggy and tired.
Fantastic OP. Good compilation and not a single forced angle.
A limited contribution of references for now:
Dealing in part with (especially in the Western world) stigmatization, the pitfalls of diagnosis and the over-emphasis on medications. Leaving it here merely as reference not necessarily as endorsement.
I've been mulling over what you've said. I know my own bias is STRONGLY pro-psychiatry, pro-medication (not that everyone should take them, just that they're another tool to consider), anti-alternative medicine, and, despite being one of the few (somewhat) religious people in the thread (that I know of), I avoided even mentioning seeing any kind of religious leaders for counseling (which is a fairly popular choice). I also avoided listing faith-based organizations that offer things like crisis lines. I may still find that stuff, but there's a tension between providing information and pushing any kind of agenda, even inadvertently.
Likewise, I originally had some examples of things I consider quackery, but I cut them out. I won't endorse any of that stuff in the OP, but people should feel free to discuss it.
I do think the thread could use more resources that go against traditional western biomedical principles of mental illness. I'll write the blurb for Foucalt's History of Madness to point out how it challenges the idea of mental illnesses as, well, illnesses. The book you linked, jackbugs, seems like another good entry for that category.
The other thing I notice is that we chose "mental health" over "mental illness" for the title, ut the thread is currently all about mental illness. Moe information and resources about maintaining mental well being, outside of disease states, would be great. The book about exercise fits in that category nicely.
Prax
Member
YES~! Thanks FillerB~!
Less work for me! XD
(Gosh guys, I keep realizing more that I should tell people to never ask for me to do anything when it comes to art! I have issues..! LOL Will sort them out at some future procrastinated time)
Great start to the thread! Already 2 pages last I checked DepGAF!
I will try to post more, but right now, my posting comes in spurts of once every few days. It's a LOT better than in the past though. I have a lot of social anxiety issues that I am slowly overcoming (though I suspect not many people will think I do), so bear with me!
Less work for me! XD
(Gosh guys, I keep realizing more that I should tell people to never ask for me to do anything when it comes to art! I have issues..! LOL Will sort them out at some future procrastinated time)
Great start to the thread! Already 2 pages last I checked DepGAF!
I will try to post more, but right now, my posting comes in spurts of once every few days. It's a LOT better than in the past though. I have a lot of social anxiety issues that I am slowly overcoming (though I suspect not many people will think I do), so bear with me!
NeOak
Member
Some of the things that come to my mind for Mental Health are Yoga, relaxation and meditation.
But more than that, i understand its more about preventing than treatment.
EverythingShiny
Member
Ask and ye shall receive! I'll post some links to mindfulness/happiness/brain power books that have recently been recommended to me by my therapist.
The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
This book is based on ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) and focuses on learning to deal with painful and self-defeating thoughts through diffusion. The premise is that we get so caught up in the stories we tell about ourselves that we start to see them as truth instead of just stories and this leads to us thinking even worse things about ourselves.
The Mindful Way Through Depression by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, Jon Kabat-Zinn
This is one of the most highly recommended books on mindfulness and depression. Mark Williams and John Teasdale have been doing really exciting research at Oxford that is showing mindfulness can change brain activity in depressed patients. Mark Williams has a couple of videos on Youtube where he talks about his research. Pretty cool stuff.
As far as anxiety is concerned, I'll see what I can dig up. I have pretty general anxiety issues, but I also suffer from a combination of agoraphobia and a specific phobia. I'd be happy to talk more about my experiences with anxiety.
One book that I found helpful was When Panic Attacks by Dr. David Burns. He takes a lot of the same principles from his book Feeling Good (primarily talking about cognitive distortions) and applies them to anxiety. Dr. Burns is kinda anti-medicine, but I think this book contains some good information for trying to unravel what makes us anxious.
And lastly, since you mentioned in another reply having resources that are for life in general, my therapist also recommended this book to me. It's a bit more spiritual in nature, so that may not work for some people.
Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom by Rick Hanson
Thank you for for sharing that, BorkBork. I can't even imagine how difficult the situation must be for you. One of my greatest fears is the toll my mental health issues will take on my relationship and the effect they have on my boyfriend - I can already see him being worn down.
Also, I don't think that the emotions you are experiencing are necessarily unhealthy - I think they are perfectly acceptable for someone in your situation. You are grieving and are in a very difficult situation. It's okay for you to feel this way! And it sounds like you're taking the right steps to find resources to help you. Have you thought about counseling for yourself?
Decided to move my life forward, and try and volunteer at a thrift store
What's wrong with volunteering at a thrift store? That sounds pretty good to me.
Quick intro:
I'm 28 (turning 29 this year), still living at home thanks to a large amount of student loan debt (but it's allowing me to work my reasonably high paying job and save up to move), have lost interest in almost everything that I loved over the past 4 years or so, and have little to no hope for my future. I've had, what I think is, some form of social anxiety almost my entire life alongside depression. None of which is really helped by my closest friends and family members saying things like, "Just snap out of it." or, "You know, if you smiled more..."
I was prescribed Lexapro by my GP about a month ago, but I never took it. Decided to try and "get better" on my own, and honestly the first two weeks after my visit were pretty ok. I've dropped a bit since, but I've started working out again and I started playing guitar again (and spending money on gear, of course) and so far both things have helped level me out a bit. I do want to find a therapist to talk to, not so much for the depression, but for the crippling self-confidence and anxiety issues. There's not too many under my insurance plan though, so I've sort of put that on hold for now.
So yeah, that's me in a very brief and not-very-well-put-together nutshell. Hope you guys and gals don't mind me popping in every now and then to rant and just talk.
EDIT: Not sure if you guys care, but I want to share my scores from the three screeners mentioned in the OP: Beck Depression: 28 | Hamilton: 21 (Not too accurate since it's not supposed to be self-scored it seems) | PHQ-9: 12
I'm 28 (turning 29 this year), still living at home thanks to a large amount of student loan debt (but it's allowing me to work my reasonably high paying job and save up to move), have lost interest in almost everything that I loved over the past 4 years or so, and have little to no hope for my future. I've had, what I think is, some form of social anxiety almost my entire life alongside depression. None of which is really helped by my closest friends and family members saying things like, "Just snap out of it." or, "You know, if you smiled more..."
I was prescribed Lexapro by my GP about a month ago, but I never took it. Decided to try and "get better" on my own, and honestly the first two weeks after my visit were pretty ok. I've dropped a bit since, but I've started working out again and I started playing guitar again (and spending money on gear, of course) and so far both things have helped level me out a bit. I do want to find a therapist to talk to, not so much for the depression, but for the crippling self-confidence and anxiety issues. There's not too many under my insurance plan though, so I've sort of put that on hold for now.
So yeah, that's me in a very brief and not-very-well-put-together nutshell. Hope you guys and gals don't mind me popping in every now and then to rant and just talk.
EDIT: Not sure if you guys care, but I want to share my scores from the three screeners mentioned in the OP: Beck Depression: 28 | Hamilton: 21 (Not too accurate since it's not supposed to be self-scored it seems) | PHQ-9: 12
ClassyPenguin
Banned
I applaud your effort in that.
The problem with "alternatives" is the substitution of professional evaluation which can lead to a misdiagnoses and self-treatment (self-diagnosis). With mental health, there can also be underlying medical conditions that may lurk beneath the surface. Stuff like thyroid problems, liver disease and other medical maladies that present psychological symptoms.
The first thing that people should do is go to a mental health professional. I feel that it is important to know exactly what is going on in your body before you start taking medications and therapies. Going the alternative route can just lead to taking supplements and treatments that have shown as much efficacy as a placebo. They can also interact with your body in different ways.
If you are not exactly comfortable with medications and wary of side-effects and other legitimate worries, tell that to your psychiatrist. They might be able to help you with your worries and most importantly it provides a way of communication. It opens up a path to discussing several methods to help with your mental health problems. It also helps with tracking and keeping a record of your progress and it just adds another tool in the toolbox.
Agent Cooper
Member
New thread, yayyyyyy!
Collete
Member
I just feel I'm done...Depression is just getting to me and all my hopes and what I strive for is just fruitless in the end...I can never get a break and have a moment to stop and think without constantly being pushed to the ground...it's too exhausting...I can't go on like this...
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