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[Teriyaki Blues]

Politics talk:

Spoiler

I'm surrounded by Republicans and it makes me want to die.

My dad is voting Trump. He used the phrases "Black on Black crime" and "you can't trust the media" in a phone conversation with me and had the balls to tell me that gun violence has risen in Australia since their modern gun laws were instituted in 1996, even though five seconds reading Wikipedia would have informed him otherwise.

My spouse is a former Catholic, now Agnostic, and Republican who would vote for Trump because "Hillary is crooked", and "She's a thief". I'm seriously contemplating divorce for the first time in nearly two decades.

My greatest fear is that Trump will win because Hillary is a woman. As much as people hate to admit it (it took GamerGate for me), this country has a lot of progress to make in not being misogynistic (racist and homophobic/queerphobic too, while I'm condemning systematic injustices). Even if he is somehow prevented from hitting any big red buttons, a Republican presidency right now means at least 40 more years of Conservative Supreme Court, which is bad for everyone on so many levels.

I'm honestly worried I'm developing a new mental illness over politics right now. This is the first time in my life where I've felt like I'm the sane one and it is the world around me that's gone mad.

 

[The Artisan]

i hope the best for everyone suffering depression these days.

i'm so deep in this hole, i honestly believe in my entire life i will never get out. but i hope the absolute best for others. get the help you need and i wish i could help you too, in ways i know i can't help myself

 

[Heckler456]

I'll tell you what though. I've been exercising about 5 hours per week this past month, and I haven't told myself I wanted to die for about a week now. Hope it'll last.

 

[Booker Dewitt]

So I'm in a really bad spot right now, I'm waiting on a depression hotline to respond to me. It's a couple minutes after my birthday, and me and my roommate where discussing a problem, at some point he brought up that weeks ago I was so drunk that I stumbled in his room, striped myself as if I was gonna urinate, didn't... but proceeded to take off my shirt. I have no recollection of this,and the latter part really scares me.

I hate my body and wear a shirt at every possible moment, this is honestly the scariest thing I have ever heard.

 

[Heckler456]

Weird tangent, but I looked up your profile image because I thought I recognized it from somewhere, and it linked to a youtube channel, through which I found out Martin Shkreli has a livestream.

Which is weird.

Anyway, I realize that for people with depression, small things like this can seem incredibly huge. But really, it needn't be. You made a mistake, and all you really need to do is apologize for making it and if possible at this point, try not to get blackout drunk anymore.

As for your body image issues, I don't really have an answer for that one. I struggle with them myself, and am very meticulous about hiding myself in that regard as well. All I can say is that, yeah, it's kind of embarrassing, but again, it needn't be that big of a deal.

Sorry if I couldn't be of any help.

If you need anything else, I'll be here for a while.

 

[jsnepo]

I fucking wasted years of my life trying to be in control of it. Finance, family, relationships, career. I can never get control. No matter how hard I try, I fail all the time. Has anyone tried just leaving everything behind? I mean move to another place, assume a different identity, and start all over? It's becoming a sweet thought for me.

 

[DieNgamers]

I fucking wasted years of my life trying to be in control of it. Finance, family, relationships, career. I can never get control. No matter how hard I try, I fail all the time. Has anyone tried just leaving everything behind? I mean move to another place, assume a different identity, and start all over? It's becoming a sweet thought for me.

I have not wasted years yet but I'm beginning to loosen some strings because I'm a bit overwhelmed by different challenges of life right now. I certainly know that feeling and I've been struggling with the same thoughts for a while!

--

 

[Booker Dewitt]

Weird tangent, but I looked up your profile image because I thought I recognized it from somewhere, and it linked to a youtube channel, through which I found out Martin Shkreli has a livestream.

Which is weird.

Anyway, I realize that for people with depression, small things like this can seem incredibly huge. But really, it needn't be. You made a mistake, and all you really need to do is apologize for making it and if possible at this point, try not to get blackout drunk anymore.

As for your body image issues, I don't really have an answer for that one. I struggle with them myself, and am very meticulous about hiding myself in that regard as well. All I can say is that, yeah, it's kind of embarrassing, but again, it needn't be that big of a deal.

Sorry if I couldn't be of any help.

If you need anything else, I'll be here for a while.

Yeah, I was able to fall asleep and now not as dimed out about the thing as I was. I'm at work now and it's just this feeling of misery rather than wishing that I could cause some harm for myself. Just gonna try to get through today speaking as little as I can. Which is not a great way to live, but I'm sure I'll bounce back by tomorrow and be a bit more social.

As for the whole taking my shirt, its something I'm very worried about because that's not something I would do sober, and I'm worried what else I could do when I'm blacked out. Once I finish this birthday 30 rack I'm gonna try to abstain from drinking for a bit.

And a little silver lining, even if my distressed state, I was able to make the dude on the hotline laugh with my description of the male body.

As for my avatar, it's Alli Conti. I picked it a couple months ago after I saw that Martin shkrelli video. I kind of half jokingly made her a symbol of hope. That at some point I could manage to remove myself from this minimum wage hellhole I've been in for six years, and get a job that I actually enjoy and more than likely move on from this terrible experience of Colorado. Get to the point where I can finally feel like I could impress someone like her.

Thank you for your words.

 

[Hey_Blinkin]

This feels kind of fucked up to say, but does anyone else just wish they'd finally just "bottom out" mentally? Or at least get to the point where they feel the need for change or help? The best way to describe my life and mental state is "bleh". I feel passionately about no one or nothing. No goals, dreams, or ambitions. It's been this way for nearly 15 years. I'm not sad or happy, I'm just "here". Living day after day of absolute nothingness. I work, come home and browse the same websites over and over again. Occasionally I'll play a game or watch Netflix. I feel broken. I feel like I'm supposed to be driven by the things that drive other people, careers, hobbies, religion, etc.

Sorry for the rant. Just needed to vent a bit. I haven't had any friends in over a decade and I'm not comfortable talking to co-workers about this stuff. They all seem happy and satisfied with life and I don't want to seem any more odd than I already am.

 

[NIGHT-]

I'm sinking so fucking low... I keep texting my ex when she wishes me not to. She's moved on and is in a great relationship, but I'm as miserable as I can be. I've become obsessed with her and text her from a text app after she's blocked my #. She's threatened to get a restraining order on me.. I know what I'm doing is wrong, but this depression takes over and I just feel so incredibly hopeless and alone without her.

I just don't want to go on anymore, the guilt, the regret, the jealously, it all consumes me. I'm not healing, because my mind won't let me move on. I'm so pathetic

 

[oipic]

This feels kind of fucked up to say, but does anyone else just wish they'd finally just "bottom out" mentally? Or at least get to the point where they feel the need for change or help? The best way to describe my life and mental state is "bleh". I feel passionately about no one or nothing. No goals, dreams, or ambitions. It's been this way for nearly 15 years. I'm not sad or happy, I'm just "here". Living day after day of absolute nothingness. I work, come home and browse the same websites over and over again. Occasionally I'll play a game or watch Netflix. I feel broken. I feel like I'm supposed to be driven by the things that drive other people, careers, hobbies, religion, etc.

Sorry for the rant. Just needed to vent a bit. I haven't had any friends in over a decade and I'm not comfortable talking to co-workers about this stuff. They all seem happy and satisfied with life and I don't want to seem any more odd than I already am.

Hi mate - may I ask if you've sought help at all? I doubt that I can offer anything you haven't already considered, but depression needn't be all or nothing, it has degrees of severity (and fluctuates!), so you definitely shouldn't wait or let yourself bottom-out before seeking help. I'm just a fellow sufferer, and not in any way qualified, but your symptoms are very typical, really, and they can be treatable (medically, or otherwise).

There's no change without change, as they say, and getting some help that might just give you even that extra 5% of oomph that will give the capability to get out of a rut, or to try something a little different, can be a great start. All the best, hang in there - you're definitely not alone, and just reaching out (to us, to anyone) is a great step.

 

[Krammy]

I'm sinking so fucking low... I keep texting my ex when she wishes me not to. She's moved on and is in a great relationship, but I'm as miserable as I can be. I've become obsessed with her and text her from a text app after she's blocked my #. She's threatened to get a restraining order on me.. I know what I'm doing is wrong, but this depression takes over and I just feel so incredibly hopeless and alone without her.

I just don't want to go on anymore, the guilt, the regret, the jealously, it all consumes me. I'm not healing, because my mind won't let me move on. I'm so pathetic

Hey NIGHT-, me again. I can definitely relate because I was in the exact same position as you are. I had broken up with someone whom I loved deeply, and I continued to message them long after they had asked me to stop, and just like you, had been threatened with a restraining order (which for some reason, never materialized). It's pretty tough to be in that position because as you said, you know it's wrong, but sometimes it feels like an impossible task to remain silent, like you want to scream or kill yourself. Sometimes getting yelled at is better than being ignored.

Are you still seeing that woman you mentioned last week? I know you had said it was kind of iffy with her, so now that you're texting your ex again, should I assume that fell through? Whether you're still with her or not, what exactly went wrong that you're texting your ex again? Was she not able to evoke the kind of happiness that often helps people to move on and forget about their prior relationships? If that's the case, why not jump back into the dating scene and continue searching for someone who can? Do you feel like anything is stopping you from doing that? And more importantly, is anything really stopping you from doing that? I've been doing a lot of online dating recently, and while the results have been mixed, I would highly recommend it as a good stepping stone for getting back out there.

Although it's cliché to say and hurts to hear, you deserve much more than to be dwelling on someone who no longer has any interest in you, and only you can take those steps forward to help yourself forget about them.

EDIT: If you want to talk more face-to-face, you're also welcome to PM me. I still have issues of my own with this stuff, but I'll do what I can to offer you a helping hand.

 

[Windam]

Miserable at work, miserable at home, no real hobbies or skills, little motivation to go out (where would I go? What would I do by myself?), no real plan for the future... How much freaking longer do I have to go through this?

 

[User 479360]

I'm so tired.

I wish there wasn't so much shame attached to this illness.

 

[NIGHT-]

Hey NIGHT-, me again. I can definitely relate because I was in the exact same position as you are. I had broken up with someone whom I loved deeply, and I continued to message them long after they had asked me to stop, and just like you, had been threatened with a restraining order (which for some reason, never materialized). It's pretty tough to be in that position because as you said, you know it's wrong, but sometimes it feels like an impossible task to remain silent, like you want to scream or kill yourself. Sometimes getting yelled at is better than being ignored.

Are you still seeing that woman you mentioned last week? I know you had said it was kind of iffy with her, so now that you're texting your ex again, should I assume that fell through? Whether you're still with her or not, what exactly went wrong that you're texting your ex again? Was she not able to evoke the kind of happiness that often helps people to move on and forget about their prior relationships? If that's the case, why not jump back into the dating scene and continue searching for someone who can? Do you feel like anything is stopping you from doing that? And more importantly, is anything really stopping you from doing that? I've been doing a lot of online dating recently, and while the results have been mixed, I would highly recommend it as a good stepping stone for getting back out there.

Although it's cliché to say and hurts to hear, you deserve much more than to be dwelling on someone who no longer has any interest in you, and only you can take those steps forward to help yourself forget about them.

EDIT: If you want to talk more face-to-face, you're also welcome to PM me. I still have issues of my own with this stuff, but I'll do what I can to offer you a helping hand.

The girl I was seeing was a good distraction, but I was hoping the chemistry level would grow with time, but it never did. She had almost zero sense of humor, and I'm a smart ass with a huge sense of humor. I almost felt like I could be me around her, so yea, we just didn't have the chemistry to go further on my part.

Even when I'm staying busy with friends and family, my ex is all that consumes my mind. Knowing that I'm the reason we aren't together. And knowing she's much happier with the person she's with now. The jealously of him touching her, doing the things we loved together, and knowing she'll most likely marry him, just consumes me on a haunting level.

I've tried putting myself out there on dating sites, but the variety of my local area is very lacking. I'm just not interested in the average hunting/camo wearing/country girl scene. Most of which have several kids by 25. My ex was a lightning in a bottle around here, and I screwed it up.

I know it's selfish to say, but I just have no desire to move on with life. I feel like I've experience the pinnacle of my life and everything will continue to be frustrating and exhausting to go forward.

 

[jb1234]

The girl I was seeing was a good distraction, but I was hoping the chemistry level would grow with time, but it never did. She had almost zero sense of humor, and I'm a smart ass with a huge sense of humor. I almost felt like I could be me around her, so yea, we just didn't have the chemistry to go further on my part.

Even when I'm staying busy with friends and family, my ex is all that consumes my mind. Knowing that I'm the reason we aren't together. And knowing she's much happier with the person she's with now. The jealously of him touching her, doing the things we loved together, and knowing she'll most likely marry him, just consumes me on a haunting level.

I've tried putting myself out there on dating sites, but the variety of my local area is very lacking. I'm just not interested in the average hunting/camo wearing/country girl scene. Most of which have several kids by 25. My ex was a lightning in a bottle around here, and I screwed it up.

I know it's selfish to say, but I just have no desire to move on with life. I feel like I've experience the pinnacle of my life and everything will continue to be frustrating and exhausting to go forward.

You seem to be locked into a mindset that you'll never be happy without a partner and I very much believe that's something you should work on, ideally with a therapist. How was your relationship with her when you were together? Did you have any clinginess issues?

 

[NIGHT-]

You seem to be locked into a mindset that you'll never be happy without a partner and I very much believe that's something you should work on, ideally with a therapist. How was your relationship with her when you were together? Did you have any clinginess issues?

No actually the opposite. I wanted more time to myself at times, because I wasn't sure what I wanted from life. So I would do things to push her away, shut down and blame things on her during fights, and lash out in cruel ways. So the relationship was on and off because of this, which wasn't healthy. But still even with me being a total pos, she was still the most supportive person to me and always loved me unconditionally. She was supportive of my goals, my hobbies, and just wanted to be part of them. And I fucked it up. I realized toward the end that I wasn't gonna find someone else like her, but by that point she realized she deserved better but still loved me and wanted to be friends, but now I've messed that up too.

Yea, I should probably get back into therapy, my mind is so damn damaged. I know I shouldn't, but I'm comparing myself to her, and she's moved on and in love with a new guy who has a kid, and they're traveling and already talking about marriage. So I feel left behind...

 

[jb1234]

No actually the opposite. I wanted more time to myself at times, because I wasn't sure what I wanted from life. So I would do things to push her away, shut down and blame things on her during fights, and lash out in cruel ways. So the relationship was on and off because of this, which wasn't healthy. But still even with me being a total pos, she was still the most supportive person to me and always loved me unconditionally. She was supportive of my goals, my hobbies, and just wanted to be part of them. And I fucked it up. I realized toward the end that I wasn't gonna find someone else like her, but by that point she realized she deserved better but still loved me and wanted to be friends, but now I've messed that up too.

Yea, I should probably get back into therapy, my mind is so damn damaged. I know I shouldn't, but I'm comparing myself to her, and she's moved on and in love with a new guy who has a kid, and they're traveling and already talking about marriage. So I feel left behind...

Yeah, I definitely recommend therapy for you. Confronting that guilt from the way things went down and forgiving yourself will help you move on. Do you feel like you would slip back into these behaviors if you tried dating someone else?

 

[NIGHT-]

Yeah, I definitely recommend therapy for you. Confronting that guilt from the way things went down and forgiving yourself will help you move on. Do you feel like you would slip back into these behaviors if you tried dating someone else?

When dating this other girl I felt level headed and felt like I could be open and expressive about my needs and emotions, so I don't think I would slip back into that phase. I think I've learned from my mistakes in that regard

 

[Octavianus]

It's 10pm and I haven't been congratulated with my birthday by anyone... it feels great to be forgotten.

Also, two years left until I become a wizzard.

I keep buying video games and other useless junk and then never even taking it out of the package because I don't feel like it... I am absolutely terrible with money and I hate that I can hardly bring myself to do anything with my life.

 

[NegroNinja]

Miserable at work, miserable at home, no real hobbies or skills, little motivation to go out (where would I go? What would I do by myself?), no real plan for the future... How much freaking longer do I have to go through this?

I'm in the same boat. I desperately want to go out and do something by myself but I have no idea what to do. I don't go to the club so that isn't even viable for me to do. That's like all I can realistically think of.

 

[deli2000]

The great thing about being alone for extended periods of time is that you get to reflect on how pathetic you are in almost every aspect. Terrible looks, terrible body, shit in my studies and shit in all my hobbies. Ugh. I'm 19 and on the verge of just giving up and living like a hermit for the rest of my life.

 

[zoukka]

The great thing about being alone for extended periods of time is that you get to reflect on how pathetic you are in almost every aspect. Terrible looks, terrible body, shit in my studies and shit in all my hobbies. Ugh. I'm 19 and on the verge of just giving up and living like a hermit for the rest of my life.

Many people start a change for the better as a decade or two older than you, you are very young and the things you do now will have immense effects to your adulthood. So just relax, focus on something you enjoy and things will be alright.

 

[Rainy]

I have felt more depressed in the last week than I have my entire life. The perfect storm.

 

[NIGHT-]

I have felt more depressed in the last week than I have my entire life. The perfect storm.

Anything in particular bringing it on?

 

[grap3fruitman]

But that's why I nipped it in the bud. Sorry I'm damaged goods and haven't had any proper loving relationships or friendships. You have no idea how infinitely hard it is for me. The things the people suggest in the threads are always too advanced for me, and as you pointed out, I get triggered and lash out. That comes from my only definition of love of being my physically and emotionally abusive parents. But boo fucking hoo. That's my sob story. My time during the ban was really awful too. I could've really used the support on Gaf. It's not like I have friends I can consult in real life. My few posts are the only human interaction I get. That's literally it. That's why I struggle so much with real people. I'm trying to work on it but everyone's advice amounts to telling me to isolate further until I'm ready to socialize. That makes no sense to me but I'm not going to argue it out in the thread. There's no point. You guys didn't even bother to read my post. I didn't go on a date. I'm not that fortunate. I tried to talk up a girl at a shop who was being friendly with me. It could've just been my social awkwardness misinterpreting a girl just trying to make a sale as flirting. I am socially inept after all. But no, what you suggested isn't a game. I've just had a horrible life and am struggling to figure out how to be happy. I just want to know what it's like for people to enjoy my company and vice versa. Especially women. I just want to love like normal people. I hate being completely isolated from the world. It's awful.

Cross post from the dating thread. I don't know why I bother. It's a bunch of privileged jerks who've never had trouble socializing telling you to "git gud" and "it's easy" and "be yourself."

 

[NIGHT-]

I know I've been posting a lot in here, I'm sorry. But I don't really have anyone else to reach out to, whose not completely annoyed.


I'm looking back through my Facebook messages with my now deceased best friend and remembering the best summer of my life, the year I met my ex. Having both of them in my life was incredible and I doubt I'll ever recapture the happiness that I had during that time. I was on top of the world. But they're both gone now, he's dead from heart failure and she's with another man...

I'm really putting myself in a bad spot and thinking about letting go. I just want life to be over, I know it's selfish, but what's the point if you know it's not gonna get better?

 

[RoyaleDuke]

Cross post from the dating thread. I don't know why I bother. It's a bunch of privileged jerks who've never had trouble socializing telling you to "git gud" and "it's easy" and "be yourself."

The dating advice here is terrible.

Honestly, most of the people here are well off, good looking people.

I'm certainly not ugly but for some reason no one finds me attractive.

They always say oh your so nice and you are a really great guy, or they laugh in my face.

There is something about me that people don't like and I can't for the life of me figure it out.

I've been back to feeling really shitty, and the CBD is only working so much since I haven't been smoking it as much since i have to make it last because I won't be able to get another tube of it for awhile. Which sucks because I need to smoke it a few times a day to really have myself covered and feeling good.

It seems like everytime I find an out it just leads to more problems. I'm sick of it.

I've been thinking about this song, so much especially when Iggy starts talking.

I'm just so fucking tired of everything and I'm tired of not being able to write, afraid to write. I keep getting inspiration daily but when I step up to the bat... I just end up doing something else, and when I force myself it doesn't feel natural.

I am tired of fucking financial stress and everything.

On top of that I can barely express opinions on here anymore, people dogpiled on me like I insulted a sacred cow in the thread about Dafoe voicing a shinigami in Death Note.

I fucking hate death note, and like I was dogpiled on by like 3 or 4 fucking people.

One dude said I didn't deserve to live or be in society because apparently I'm a child and an idiot for shitting on his sacred cow and for expressing an opinion.

 

[Rainy]

Anything in particular bringing it on?

I grew up in California but go to medical school in Philadelphia. Finished my first year there in May but have to go back on Thursday. It sucks being so far from my family but I think it'll be fine after a few weeks.

Besides that...the screen on my MacBook Air is busted so I have to get that repaired, whatever the cost, and then use my old PC laptop at school for a while. Also my apartment got a very small infestation with bed bugs over the summer. The exterminator came and took care of them but I have to unpack all my stuff and it's gonna be hard, at least my parents will be with me.

This combined with the fact that I feel lonely doesn't help. I know things will get better...but holding out with that hope can be difficult sometimes right?

I know I've been posting a lot in here, I'm sorry. But I don't really have anyone else to reach out to, whose not completely annoyed.


I'm looking back through my Facebook messages with my now deceased best friend and remembering the best summer of my life, the year I met my ex. Having both of them in my life was incredible and I doubt I'll ever recapture the happiness that I had during that time. I was on top of the world. But they're both gone now, he's dead from heart failure and she's with another man...

I'm really putting myself in a bad spot and thinking about letting go. I just want life to be over, I know it's selfish, but what's the point if you know it's not gonna get better?

But regardless of when things will better, I think we both need to realize things will. Looking back on fond memories are always hard, because they are bittersweet. You're happy you had the memories in the first place, but you want more of those moments. I know it's hard, but you'll create great memories in the future. Just try your hardest to keep going on with your daily life. I hope things look up.

 

[jb1234]

Crying tonight. Fatigue is just really, really bad.

 

[Mostmanlyman]

Never really post in here but i felt like it tonight for some reason.
Been feeling really really depressed for the few months during this summer. It just continues to get worst and worst. The problem is Im too nervous to ask my parents for help, anyone been in a similar scenario have any tips?
Im 17 btw so i cant just go seek my own help.

 

[Heckler456]

The dating advice here is terrible.

Honestly, most of the people here are well off, good looking people.

I'm certainly not ugly but for some reason no one finds me attractive.

They always say oh your so nice and you are a really great guy, or they laugh in my face.

There is something about me that people don't like and I can't for the life of me figure it out.

I've been back to feeling really shitty, and the CBD is only working so much since I haven't been smoking it as much since i have to make it last because I won't be able to get another tube of it for awhile. Which sucks because I need to smoke it a few times a day to really have myself covered and feeling good.

It seems like everytime I find an out it just leads to more problems. I'm sick of it.

I've been thinking about this song, so much especially when Iggy starts talking.

I'm just so fucking tired of everything and I'm tired of not being able to write, afraid to write. I keep getting inspiration daily but when I step up to the bat... I just end up doing something else, and when I force myself it doesn't feel natural.

I am tired of fucking financial stress and everything.

On top of that I can barely express opinions on here anymore, people dogpiled on me like I insulted a sacred cow in the thread about Dafoe voicing a shinigami in Death Note.

I fucking hate death note, and like I was dogpiled on by like 3 or 4 fucking people.

One dude said I didn't deserve to live or be in society because apparently I'm a child and an idiot for shitting on his sacred cow and for expressing an opinion.

Are you generally unhappy, even when you're out socializing? I think people can read that right away. Or what about desperation? I'm unimaginably shit at socialization as well, but those are two things that I can think of right of the bat that might make people less inclined to "like" you in whatever capacity.

Also, next time something like that happens, just ask them straight up "So, what is it about me?" or something along those lines. I mean, you might as well, right?

 

[RoyaleDuke]

Are you generally unhappy, even when you're out socializing? I think people can read that right away. Or what about desperation? I'm unimaginably shit at socialization as well, but those are two things that I can think of right of the bat that might make people less inclined to "like" you in whatever capacity.

Also, next time something like that happens, just ask them straight up "So, what is it about me?" or something along those lines. I mean, you might as well, right?

Yeah, I've asked that and they just stare at me.

Like, I'm shit at socialization but there are times when people don't understand how I'm still single because I can be very well spoken.

And yeah, maybe some desperation but I let a lot of that go.

The last time I asked a girl out, she just stared at me and went "ummmm"

and her friend laughed and said "I'm so sorry dude, damn".

Like what the fuck man.

What is it? I don't get it.

I'm pretty unhappy in general, I can't remember a time when or where I was truly happy.

Like, the way Iggy looks is exactly how I feel.

Like shit.

 

[TheAutomator]

Man, when I look back to how I spend my days I definitely don't feel good. My memory is pretty judgemental so everything is worse in retrospect, so if I get a depressing day and recall that memory it feels much worse. Feels like I have to watch myself at all times or my memories will haunt me. It's a pretty shitty feeling.

The dating advice here is terrible.

Honestly, most of the people here are well off, good looking people.

I'm certainly not ugly but for some reason no one finds me attractive.

They always say oh your so nice and you are a really great guy, or they laugh in my face.

There is something about me that people don't like and I can't for the life of me figure it out.

I've been back to feeling really shitty, and the CBD is only working so much since I haven't been smoking it as much since i have to make it last because I won't be able to get another tube of it for awhile. Which sucks because I need to smoke it a few times a day to really have myself covered and feeling good.

It seems like everytime I find an out it just leads to more problems. I'm sick of it.

I've been thinking about this song, so much especially when Iggy starts talking.

I'm just so fucking tired of everything and I'm tired of not being able to write, afraid to write. I keep getting inspiration daily but when I step up to the bat... I just end up doing something else, and when I force myself it doesn't feel natural.

I am tired of fucking financial stress and everything.

On top of that I can barely express opinions on here anymore, people dogpiled on me like I insulted a sacred cow in the thread about Dafoe voicing a shinigami in Death Note.

I fucking hate death note, and like I was dogpiled on by like 3 or 4 fucking people.

One dude said I didn't deserve to live or be in society because apparently I'm a child and an idiot for shitting on his sacred cow and for expressing an opinion.

You definitely don't deserve getting shit on for expressing an opinion. I thought neogaf is better than that, or perhaps you just got really unfortunate and stumbled upon a couple of loonies. It's alright, I'm sure it won't happen again as this place is mostly safe.

You don't need to write. Just do it when you really feel like it.

 

[grap3fruitman]

The dating advice here is terrible.

Honestly, most of the people here are well off, good looking people.

They are all well off and they don't even understand their own privelge. Conversations don't come easy if you've never talked, love doesn't come easy if you've never been loved, etc. Your whole worldview is warped when you grow up abused and recovery is trying to reprogram all that - but when I ask normal people what they'd do in a situation, because I genuinely don't know, I get the usual hostilities out of the dating thread. Trying to defend myself only nets "this isn't the mental health thread." I wish I could hurt these guys as much as they hurt me. If only they knew the pain I felt... I have vivid revenge fantasies. (Stems from growing up and being beaten at both home and at school)

 

[Bagels]

New Thread is up!

Sorry for the delay in posting. It's a different, briefer, OP this time. I hope it's OK.

Thanks to Piano for sending along some helpful links.

-Bagels