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GAF, I need your help. My friend is dangerously depressed and I need game recommendations to make him feel better

L

LakeOf9

Member
Hello GAF

I have a friend who is really depressed. He’s gone through a lot of stuff the last few years and every time it feels like stuff is getting better it somehow gets worse.

I’ve tried talking to him to make him feel better but after a while I think diminishing returns kick in on that. I’m not sure I’m helping much. I’ve tried to get him into games instead (he wasn’t big on those before).

The problem is I have never really had to deal with depression before so I legitimately don’t know what to recommend. I suggested Baldur’s gate and Elden ring and he bounced off both because he got overwhelmed and discouraged early on. I was thinking of lending him my Switch for the Zelda games, but again, I’m not sure they work best for depression.

Can you please help me? I legitimately don’t know what to do and I want to help. The platforms are PC, Xbox, and Switch (since I’ll lend him my switch it I have to). Any recommendations will be very appreciated. Thank you so much to everyone who helps.
 
StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
Buy some cheap casual games on Steam or GOG that are little stress. I have a ton of cheap card/board games that I just play solo against the AI. These games on deal should be $10 max each. Half of them on deal are probably $5.

Dorfromantik
Railroad Ink Challenge
Sagrada
Roll Player
One Deck Dungeon

If he likes old ass turn based strategy games: Heroes of Might & Magic 3 Complete Edition. If he gets pissed the AI is going to win, just google the cheat codes and call upon hoards of Arch Angels. The AI will literally run away the second it sees your hero with 30 of them. lol

These are all turn based games too. So take as long as you want.
 
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Loomy

Loomy

Thinks Microaggressions are Real
Recommend your friend sees a therapist. He needs to understand what is causing it, how to recognize shitty times coming, and how to mitigate them or put himself in a position to safely deal with them. What you're suggesting are things that may help mask whatever he's going through. I doubt that will work or work for long. Especially if he's not into them to begin with.

Help your friend get some help.
 
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FatallyYours

FatallyYours

Member
It's nice you want to help your friend

Firstly and mainly, your friend needs to want to get better. Not have help forced on them, even if it's in the nicest way or good for them. This changes if they do get suicidal, then you need to contact health services

Until then all you can do is be there for them, if they need you at that time. May be that they want be alone and don't want to talk about the situation. They may not want to concentrate on a game. That may be too much and overwhelming for them

Some days the smallest thing for you, may be a major accomplishment for someone going through depression. Getting out of bed may be the highlight of one day. Getting a shower is a bonus on that. So then having to be potentially "forced" to talk to a friend and then having "suggestions" thrown at them and having to deal with learning how to play a game will just be beyond what they want to do on that day

If they ask for game recommendations, thats a different thing and shows at least they are on a good day, or getting better

Don't talk about the depression or the causes unless they bring them up. Talk about general things, things that they like, but don't list stuff, it'll sound like you're just comparing them to when they were "normal" and won't help

It's not your job to try and cure them. Just be there for them if and when they need you. You can sometimes tell and predict any dips and lows they may have, depending on their situation, birthdays, Xmas, anniversaries, days of death... but not all of them can be predicted and can come out if no where

If you want to help, as much as it be annoying, stressful and straining, just be aware of them and what they are doing, be available for them if they need it

The two best analogies I've had explained to me via doctors about depression to me are these:

Depression is like a roller coaster. Sometimes you can be coasting along fine, and even be having a good time and looking forward, going upwards. But at any time, a dip can happen, and you don't know how deep the dip will be, and how quickly you'll go doen that dip, or how long you'll be riding that dip. Once you can start to prepare for those dips and learn to deal with them, they will start to seem smaller, or shorter and easier to get out of

Depression is like wave in the ocean that your drowning in. Sometimes the waves are overwhelming, out of control and drag you under water. These waves seem constant. You can see them coming and do nothing about them. Eventually you'll learn to float. Eventually you'll learn to swim. There will always be waves, but hopefully they'll be smaller and further apart, and you can learn thier patterns

Good luck to you, and your friend. I hope they get better
 
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Edellus

Edellus

Member
I don't know much about depression either, fortunately. But Superliminal gives me the impression that it could help a little bit.

It is about a dude that went to a dream clinic (or something) to help him deal with some stuff, and they do through a dream and perspective (quite literally). It is a sort of mysterious, short, quite simplish yet interesting perspective puzzle game with a nice ending that is quite lifting.
 
L

LakeOf9

Member
Thank you very much everyone, I really appreciate all the suggestions in this thread

I have asked him to look into counselling and therapy, he is more open to that than to medication. I am hoping he finds the help there that he needs. My concern is more, while I am waiting on those things to kick in and help him (or help him deal with things while they happen), I at least want him to be able to get through the day without feeling like shit. I was thinking games would be good because I find them helpful when I am stressed, but maybe I am going about this the wrong way.

I will definitely recommend some of the suggestions raised in this thread, the Kirby games, Stardew Valley, the old Might & Magic games, Mario Wonder, Superliminal and Journey are all great suggestions that I saw (and I am sure the others are great too, I just need to look into them to make sure he will be able to enjoy them).

Thanks everyone for your suggestions, I really appreciate you looking out
 
D

Dutchy

Member
LakeOf9 said:
Hello GAF

I have a friend who is really depressed. He’s gone through a lot of stuff the last few years and every time it feels like stuff is getting better it somehow gets worse.

I’ve tried talking to him to make him feel better but after a while I think diminishing returns kick in on that. I’m not sure I’m helping much. I’ve tried to get him into games instead (he wasn’t big on those before).

The problem is I have never really had to deal with depression before so I legitimately don’t know what to recommend. I suggested Baldur’s gate and Elden ring and he bounced off both because he got overwhelmed and discouraged early on. I was thinking of lending him my Switch for the Zelda games, but again, I’m not sure they work best for depression.

Can you please help me? I legitimately don’t know what to do and I want to help. The platforms are PC, Xbox, and Switch (since I’ll lend him my switch it I have to). Any recommendations will be very appreciated. Thank you so much to everyone who helps.
Click to expand...
Games tend to isolate people. I don't think it's a surefire way of helping him. Especially since he already bounced off a couple.

Instead I would try and focus on actual healthcare. Try to arrange a therapist with him. Stuff like that can feel like a massive undertaking for depressed people to do on their own.

Edit: Only just saw your post above. I'm glad you're seeing both sides of the issue.
 
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FatallyYours

FatallyYours

Member
LakeOf9 said:
Thank you very much everyone, I really appreciate all the suggestions in this thread

I have asked him to look into counselling and therapy, he is more open to that than to medication. I am hoping he finds the help there that he needs. My concern is more, while I am waiting on those things to kick in and help him (or help him deal with things while they happen), I at least want him to be able to get through the day without feeling like shit. I was thinking games would be good because I find them helpful when I am stressed, but maybe I am going about this the wrong way.

I will definitely recommend some of the suggestions raised in this thread, the Kirby games, Stardew Valley, the old Might & Magic games, Mario Wonder, Superliminal and Journey are all great suggestions that I saw (and I am sure the others are great too, I just need to look into them to make sure he will be able to enjoy them).

Thanks everyone for your suggestions, I really appreciate you looking out
Click to expand...

I found the medication helped me much more than the therapy, as I didn't want to discuss my depression either one to one or in groups, it suited me and my situation. But they do not work instantly, they need to be maintained and they can, and do affect other parts of your life...but depression as a whole does, so I could manage it

Medication gave me a little control (either real or just in my head) over my situation, rather than hoping and depending on doctors and others to help me through it
 
Clintizzle

Clintizzle

Lord of Edge.
Therapy should definitely be the first call. Otherwise I'd recommend co-op games that have voice chat.

The Division games
Ghost recon wildlands
Halo 1,2,3
 
Jesb

Jesb

Member
Thanati said:
Talk to him or just listen to what he has to say. You may think it’s not helping but trust me, it is. He needs to know there is someone there for him and what you’re doing is spot on.

Just be there for him.
Click to expand...
This. I’ll also recommend exercise. That helps me whether I’m having physical or mental issues. Talking to someone will be best option. I think gaming can be a good outlet to get your mind off things as well. Sometimes certain things can help you get out of a rut. Could be shopping, going out on dates and just doing things.
 
S

SHA

Member
You are not the only one, from my experience, usually the games that has depressing atmosphere, deep inside, causes opposite effects actually, it's not what it looks like, these are definitely my top personal picks, also, if his case is severe, I recommend to avoid games based on the choices he make, otherwise, definitely count these ones in the list.
 
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Brigandier

Brigandier

Member
Videogames are usually not the answer for serious depression... I appreciate not everyone is the same but I think your friend needs professional help and friends/family being in his life right now and exercise exercise exercise!!!

Go to the gym with him, go to martial arts classes together, You'll find good coaches look out for those who are mentally not in a good place and help people who need it most.

Why not play games together whilst being an ear to listen too? If you can't be there in person play some co-op games with him!!
 
StereoVsn

StereoVsn

Member
Danjin44 said:
This might sound weird but Persona games? Not Persona 3 since that game is dealing with death and loss.

But both Persona 4 & 5 have friendly characters you can get attache to and for brief moment forget about the problems in the real world.
Click to expand...
Yep, P4G is great for this as it’s a solid group of friends reminding you of when you were young.

The setting is also cozy and characters are generally acting more like group of friends vs P3 (coworkers) or P5 (bunch of random acquaintances).

And while the game does have some heavy topics between the humor, music and generally a great game it can help.

I know it worked for me when I was depressed around the time of its release and that Vita with P4G stayed with me for probably good part of six months.

Edit: I do recommend something handheld so he can grab it whenever he needs it. After gym, work, lunch, etc…. It’s a lot easier if it’s say a Switch or a Steamdeck and you can just wake it from sleep and jump in.

Edit 2: Gym or martial arts are also a great idea. Can forget about stuff when pumping thet iron with some music. And of course professional help.
 
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SlimeGooGoo

SlimeGooGoo

Party Gooper
Pantz said:
Exercise or muscle training is the cure.
After that, maybe video games will be fun again.
Click to expand...
No

Cute waifus and booze are the solution

14672.jpg
 
Edmund

Edmund

Member
When my girlfriend left me, it was street fighter 5 and tekken 7 that got me through the breakup.

Get him street fighter 6 and Tekken 8.
 
GHG

GHG

Member
Dark Souls (1-3, or demons, or bloodborne)




Elden Ring will likely not have had the same effect because of the open world nature, which can be overwhelming if not in the correct frame of mind.

But all in all videogames should only be one part of this, he needs to exercise, spend time with good people, explore other hobbies, and generally start living life.
 
MasterCornholio

MasterCornholio

Member
I had to help out with a mental health emergency just recently. The individual was having suicidal thoughts and was talking about hurting himself.

What I learned from my experience is that being a good listener and showing that you care when nobody else would can be a great help. If it wasn't for me asking the right questions and comforting this person thst I helped he wouldn't be getting the help that he needed.

Pay really close attention to your friend. Any small sign could indicate that something is really wrong and needs to be taken care of.
 
nemiroff

nemiroff

Gold Member
When I went through an actual depression videogames was of no help to me whatsoever.

A combination of medication, outdoors/exercise (in my case simply walking), support (talking to people, therapy, life coaching) and mindfulness/meditation was what helped me back out.
 
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DirtyBast8rd

DirtyBast8rd

Member
Tell him depression lies to you. It's telling you things that aren't true but because depression lives in your head it's easy to believe the lies. Tell him to see through the lies and that he needs to love himself, that's it okay to make mistakes and that he shouldn't look and compare with others but only do things that truly makes him happy. I know it's hard to find things that makes you happy and being happy and depressed don't go hand in hand but that's something you can work through by taking action. Sitting on your ass is exactly what depression needs to keep control over you. I wish you and your friend all the best.
 
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delfrickintree

delfrickintree

Banned
If things are going bad in someone's life, it's ok to be sad. Depression is a constant lack of feeling regardless of what is happening in life. Sadness will run its course and you dont need to force someone to be happy. Video games do not help depression. Exercise and meditation will do more than anything, and therapy / counseling is really subjective and hit or miss. Let them know you are there for them and to stay strong, thats what I would want.
 
ahtlas7

ahtlas7

Member
He should seek professional help to find the underlying cause. For real, he needs to find what is dragging him down.
edit: I just noticed the ‘dangerous’ part of your title. Dang, dude, he really needs professional help. It’s okay to be sad but not dangerously so.
 
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Fredrik

Fredrik

Member
Pantz said:
Exercise or muscle training is the cure.
After that, maybe video games will be fun again.
Click to expand...
Yeah, endorphines, that helps a ton. Been going through some dark times myself, then I discovered jogging 🏃‍♂️

But to answer OP’s question. Go with Nintendo games. Mario Wonder. Zelda Link’s Awakening. I want to say Metroid Dread too but maybe that’s too stressful, feels awesome to win over bosses though.
 
VulcanRaven

VulcanRaven

Member
Maybe Red Dead Redemption 2? Maybe Batman games if he likes Batman. Also Game Pass has a lot of games.
 
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A

alienator

Member
invite him over and play stupid splitscreen games like goat simulator, this way u can talk and laugh and not worry about the game or progression
 
Heisenberg007

Heisenberg007

Gold Journalism
First, talk to him. Games are good and all, but a human touch is most needed.

Second, invite him on GAF. Introduce him/her to us, and we can all be their friends. More folks for them to talk to.

Third, here are some games I can think of:
  • Stardew Valley
  • Doom
  • Batman: Arkham City
  • Super Mario Wonders
  • God of War (2018)
  • Goat Simulator
  • South Park
  • A Short Hike
  • Celeste
  • Ori
  • Cult of the Lamb
  • Stray
 
Hohenheim

Hohenheim

Member
Definitly make him get professonal help. Gaming can absolutely be a good thing when depressed, but as part of something more. Gaming alone will probably not make him overcome real depression.
Sounds like you're a very good friend, and that's great. I hope your friend gets better soon!
 
Sentenza

Sentenza

Member
I never met a single person who got better from a depressive state by playing videogames. No matter how good they may have been.

EDIT - You should rather try to push your friend toward doing some sport, do some jogging or go to a gym, if these are options. Physical activity, especially if practice at a leisure pace, is basically a miracle tonic for mental health.
 
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P

Panajev2001a

GAF's Pleasant Genius
LakeOf9 said:
Hello GAF

I have a friend who is really depressed. He’s gone through a lot of stuff the last few years and every time it feels like stuff is getting better it somehow gets worse.

I’ve tried talking to him to make him feel better but after a while I think diminishing returns kick in on that. I’m not sure I’m helping much. I’ve tried to get him into games instead (he wasn’t big on those before).

The problem is I have never really had to deal with depression before so I legitimately don’t know what to recommend. I suggested Baldur’s gate and Elden ring and he bounced off both because he got overwhelmed and discouraged early on. I was thinking of lending him my Switch for the Zelda games, but again, I’m not sure they work best for depression.

Can you please help me? I legitimately don’t know what to do and I want to help. The platforms are PC, Xbox, and Switch (since I’ll lend him my switch it I have to). Any recommendations will be very appreciated. Thank you so much to everyone who helps.
Click to expand...
Mmmh… Edit: as others are saying professional help and friends’ love do come first.

I would say Super Mario Wonder or Super Mario Odissey, pure fun without being overwhelmed, or DKC Tropical Freeze.

The latest Asterix & Obelix game would also be quite a great choice, Animal Crossing too I think.

Nintendo has the best carefree games, if they had a PS5 I would have suggested Astro’s PlayRoom too.
 
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