Support NeoGAF

[SwiftDeath]

And yes, he looked up my name and address using my phone number. He could easily find me.

Through the facebook messenger thing discussed above?

I'll have to make sure my facebook account is really gone then

 

[ViewtifulJC]

rip op

 

[Alienous]

Sort of, don't want to push him if he's on the edge.

I guess so.

Maybe you could get a police officer to have a conversation with him, OP. Just a "can you tell this guy he can't threaten my life" sort of thing.

 

[MisterNoisy]

Note to self: don't take advice from candy.

 

[EdibleKnife]

in all seriousness if the guy is for real I'm way more worried for his poor wife than I am for OP, who is an idiot.

Yeah. He more than likely doesn't know you but if he's taking one text this wildly far, he's probably going to end up terrorizing the only person in reach.

 

[Revolutionary]

You can search for numbers in Facebook messenger. I've used that to figure out who texted me when I got a random text out of the blue. That is assuming the person has their phone number linked to their Facebook account.

So glad I never linked my number for 'security'.

 

[xDUMPWEEDx]

Here's another idea: Tell him you've been fucking his wife for over a year and that he's an idiot for not picking up on it sooner.

 

[Acrylic7]

Sue 5 gum?

Or the next logical step is to go kick his ass and then take his wife. And hide his wallet.

 

[Jeff-DSA]

Through the facebook messenger thing discussed above?

I'll have to make sure my facebook account is really gone then

Nope, I have some websites that I didn't pay for the domain privacy.

I texted him about not doing anything that would landed him in trouble. He responded with: "Dude just chill I appreciate your concern..."

I think he's cooling down. I still don't feel great about this. I had no idea that this was even going to a woman. I guess my chances were 50/50 on that. I have no idea what the odds were of getting a marriage on the rocks.

 

[reminder]

Man, 5 gum is fucking intense.

 

[revolverjgw]

Try to find some common ground with him. Conspire a plot to sue 5-Gum for damages.

 

[Amentallica]

You should look up his number and show up with a pitchfork.

 

[Amalthea]

Viral marketing for take 5 gum

"5 gum. Nothing opens your throat easier!"

 

[GDGF]

This would make for an interesting (short) film.

 

[cwmartin]

talk about stimulate your senses holy fuck im on edge over here

 

[Vilam]

Lmao, great twist in the story that I didn't see coming. This is why you don't participate in dumb marketing bullshit that some corporate hack came up with.

 

[Flavius]

He pranked your prank, OP. Please do not prank his prank of your prank, though. No telling how much of a prankster you're dealing with here.

 

[Arnie7]

I'm sorry but my first reaction was to just burst out laughing at this.

You done goofed. Probably shiukd go down to police station and report it to them just to be safe.

 

[Cowie]

Okay so this is fucked and scary but

and said that he's coming to kill me (via stabbing or shooting, he didn't know yet),

This kind of makes me giggle. like the dude calls up furious and doesn't even have a specific threat.


I'M GOING TO FIND YOU, AND I'M GOING TO STAB YOU. OR SHOOT YOU. I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET. I GUESS POISONING IS ON THE TABLE? BUT THAT ISN'T REALLY MY STYLE. WHAT DO YOU THINK. THIS INVOLVES YOU TOO.

 

[TheJollyCorner]

Do you know karate, Jeff?

If not, I'd start learning it very quickly!

 

[GustyGardens]

You need to apologize for not calling him beautiful, and that you're sure that he is much more attractive than his wife. Might also want to let him know that he has a cute phone voice. When it comes down to it, that's all people really care about.

Seriously, though. He's probably just letting off some steam. He's not going to come after you, or anything like that. If you're really worried, be on the look out for cars that aren't familiar hanging around your house.

 

[Random Painted HIghway]

Twist: op's wife caught him in an affair by finding this beautiful text and he's now coming up with an elaborate back story. There is no husband, there is no gum wrapper.

 

[You Are Viewtiful]

Call the police about your situation and tell them about how he threw his wife out too. I think she's the real victim here (if she's indeed real)

 

[Catdaddy]

Text a pic of your wife and prove you're taken.

Subtle but funny....

 

[toxicgonzo]

Make out with a few dudes and get photographic evidence of it.

Then text him the pictures thus proving you are not chasing after his wife.


If he still doesn't believe you, repeat but take it to the next step with dudes.

 

[bobawesome]

Was it a triple-dog dare?

 

[Fenderputty]

Lmao, great twist in the story that I didn't see coming. This is why you don't participate in dumb marketing bullshit that some corporate hack came up with.

My thoughts exactly. I can't believe someone put these dares in bubble gum wrappers. Kids could be doing this.

Tell him you're saving his texts and sending them to the cops?

 

[DeaconKnowledge]

Sleep with one eye open.

This is what happens when you follow the advice of your box of gum.

 

[Baroquemantic]

Tell him you like men, maybe? That might throw him off your trail for good.

 

[Addnan]

Sue the gum company.

 

[RobotHaus]

 

[LyleLanley]

Honestly, at this point the best course of action is to just sleep with his wife.

 

[The Lamonster]

You should scratch up his car and write your phone number in it.

 

[hal9001]

Better watch your back OP. Some lunatic is probably going to stalk you forever.

 

[whitehawk]

There's a lot of joke replies here, but if someone threatens my life, I'm going to the police asap.

 

[Nokagi]

Never rub another man's rhubarb.

 

[HawksWinStanley]

Send a dick pic. Only logical next step.

Finally, somebody with a sensible response.

Report back with his reply to your dong, OP.

 

[Jeff-DSA]

Guys, I don't really want to involve the cops until I know he's an actual threat. If he's just a hothead and a big talker, I don't want to cause him more grief than I already have. If he escalates things even a bit, then yeah, I'll involve the police. But man, this is nuts.

 

[The Illiterati]

Are you sure its not your coworkers messing with you from unknown numbers?

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

You should sue 5 gum, afterall, it is their fault you're in this mess in the first place. Use your settlement money to change your identity and start a new life.

Or die at the hands of this guy and instruct your family to sue the gum company. They'll be set for life.. well, at least free gum for life.

 

[Amory]

Guys, I don't really want to involve the cops until I know he's an actual threat. If he's just a hothead and a big talker, I don't want to cause him more grief than I already have. If he escalates things even a bit, then yeah, I'll involve the police. But man, this is nuts.

It's your life, I guess. But if someone threatens my life and seems unbalanced, I'm telling the cops.

At the very least it'll give them a person of interest should I be murdered.

Over a dare.

From a gum wrapper.

 

[Enco]

Guy isn't going to do shit.

Is he going to track your number with his top secret CIA software? Then what? He's going to visit your work or your home and kill you? Really?

The chances of that happening seem incredibly slim. So slim they're not worth the time. Just ignore him.

 

[Skyzard]

Fuck him up, OP.

or call the police.


People make threats all the time but there are some even more dumbass people who follow through.

 

[Grizzo]

okay this one got me... really clever

I tip my hat to you!

 

[ShadowsFell]

Guys, I don't really want to involve the cops until I know he's an actual threat. If he's just a hothead and a big talker, I don't want to cause him more grief than I already have. If he escalates things even a bit, then yeah, I'll involve the police. But man, this is nuts.

The thing is, you're only estimating. You have no idea what is going on with him in terms of his internal processes and decision-making. I'd personally call the cops.

 

[soleil]

The thing is, you're only estimating. You have no idea what is going on with him in terms of his internal processes and decision-making. I'd personally call the cops.

And risk a female cop's husband getting mad at him? Hell no.

 

[commish]

Seems like the guy is putting you on, tbh.

 

[DreadPirateRoberts]

Tell him he's beautiful

 

[FullMetaltech]

Ah thats funny. Should be holding the gum or wrapper too.

 

[Angry Grimace]

Just one more reason not to ever trust advice you get from chewing gum.