The OP is correct for the most part and this is coming from a fan of Morrowind, Fallout 3 and the original KOTOR to name some recent examples.
I'll keep it to Fallout 3 in this case. The combat is worthless:
- The actual "gunplay" is a couple of generations back from the modern FPS, this is a given, I know. Why? The controls feel like a poor pc port from the 90s. The AI is piss poor. The world was designed as a Bethesda RPG world, thus as levels designed for shooting, it is shit. Guns feel like crap bla bla bla... moving on.
-The world levels with you, it's not as obvious as it was in Oblivion, but it's certainly in full effect again. Why is this bad? Because it means all item collecting and stat chasing is largely useless. You started the game shooting a rabid dog with a hunting rifle, somewhere in the middle you were shooting a Yoa Guai with an assault rifle and you finished against a Deathclaw with a Plasma rifle. This means you're in a perpetual state of challenging enough to make you waste some stimpaks but not so challenging that you will have to use any skill or strategy. There is never a dungeon that you can't explore because you are too weak or a challenge to overcome by using an especially rare and cool weapon you got.
-There is no strategy involved. Getting close enough to an enemy so your percentage of shooting them in the head in VATS is high is not strategy. Keeping a big enough stock of ammo and stimpaks is not strategy either. You could argue that stats and perks are, but unless you're making a severely unbalanced character on purpose there are not many changes to the core gameplay.
These factors and more add up to a mediocre combat system by "action RPG" standards and a shitty one by normal videogame standards. And it's also the best game I've played this year. I don't know why people feel the need to make excuses for these games of which, btw, Fallout 3 is better than most.
To the OP, I would recommend games like Bioshock and HL2. It seems that the high points of these "action RPGs" don't appeal to you, so if you are looking for a competent FPS with a great story, world and atmosphere those are much better games.