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[Blue Ninja]

I still look, my girlfriend doesn't mind, she's allowed to look at other dudes too. We usually only do it subtly when we're together, though. :lol Trust's what matters in this case, I think.

And on the opposite end of the spectrum, I have this friend who scolds me for looking at another woman when he's with me. He basically stops and says "Man, don't have enough with one? I should tell her what you're doing". Annoying.

 

[Lionheart1337]

I wish we could stop objectifying each other and look at like, ..... , the spiritual essence of a person rather than the material.

 

[Kalnos]

And on the opposite end of the spectrum, I have this friend who scolds me for looking at another woman when he's with me. He basically stops and says "Man, don't have enough with one? I should tell her what you're doing". Annoying.

He jelly.

 

[Tom Penny]

I avoid looking at other women for a few reasons.

The first is respect for my wife.

The second is that I do not think I have a right to ogle any woman who appears in public. Her body is her own and it is not unlikely that maybe she doesn't want every random dude drooling at her. Such things strike me as disrespectful.

Yeah. I heard women that go out dressed up clubbing , to the mall and at work do it because they don't want to feel attractive and sexy and get attention. That's why all women were sweatshirts and jogging pants every were they go. They hate knowing guys think they are attractive.

 

[NoRéN]

I wish we could stop objectifying each other and look at like, ..... , the spiritual essence of a person rather than the material.

You would be surprised at the amount of spiritual essence a nice pair of titties can give off.

Spoiler

only joking

 

[Orayn]

I wish we could stop objectifying each other and look at like, ..... , the spiritual essence of a person rather than the material.

I'd try that if I could switch to looking at spiritual essence like the visors in Metroid Prime.

This is not a criticism of the moderation, this is more like one of those "What If" comics by Marvel. What if it were up to me? I would have banned Devo a long time ago. I do not see her as a white knight, more of a feminist bully. But that is not what this thread is about so I will leave it alone as of now.

What are you trying to accomplish here? Because I can tell you what you are accomplishing, which is inexplicable shitposting and backseat modding.

 

[neutralgamer02]

This is not a criticism of the moderation, this is more like one of those "What If" comics by Marvel. What if it were up to me? I would have banned Devo a long time ago. I do not see her as a white knight, more of a feminist bully. But that is not what this thread is about so I will leave it alone as of now.

This is just stupid.

 

[Kinyou]

I wish we could stop objectifying each other and look at like, ..... , the spiritual essence of a person rather than the material.

I'd consider breasts as objects. Anyone thinking of breasts as persons is confusing me. People are persons, bodyparts aren't.

 

[Devolution]

This is not a criticism of the moderation, this is more like one of those "What If" comics by Marvel. What if it were up to me? I would have banned Devo a long time ago. I do not see her as a white knight, more of a feminist bully. But that is not what this thread is about so I will leave it alone as of now.

I have no problem with this thread, I have no problem with discussing preferences, sex or any thing of that nature. My problem was a dude posted his partially naked girlfriend without her permission (far as I know?) in an attempt to get pity because she got implants and he wasn't happy about it. Then the thread turned into a big circle jerk about tits v ass and the boy comment by gamer, while from his POV was harmless, was a low fucking blow. It was getting to a point where are we discussing preferences or insulting and degrading women who don't fall into our particular physical preferences? That's when it gets to be too much. I'm pretty sure if there was just as many threads about the meat market quality of men here you'd be less inclined to want to participate in any sort of discussion.

 

[OttomanScribe]

Yeah. I heard women that go out dressed up clubbing , to the mall and at work do it because they don't want to feel attractive and sexy and get attention. That's why all women were sweatshirts and jogging pants every were they go. They hate knowing guys think they are attractive.

That's what any woman who takes care for her appearance is doing, she is out to give you, personally a show. She judges much of her self worth on how much of an ogle she gets from you. You are personally empowering every woman you check out. Without threads like this, and men who acted like this, no woman would know their worth.

I am off to the mall right now, ima increase some ladies self esteem by staring slack jawed at them! I might even give em a bit of a wolf whistle, for that extra special appreciation. Maybe even a slap on the behind, after all, why would she go out dressed like that if she wasnt asking to be 'appreciated'. What could make her feel sexier?

 

[GhostWriter24]

Anyone who doesn't think women objectify men all the same is delusional. Go to your local bar and listen to the shit they spew.

 

[Devolution]

Anyone who doesn't think women objectify men all the same is delusional. Go to your local bar and listen to the shit they spew.

Women objectify men but men do not undergo nearly as much objectification by society. So much of our self-worth is tied into how we look it's ridiculous.

 

[Septimius]

Or, put differently, I think any misgivings I have with sexual thoughts are less about morality in the traditional sense and more about efficiency. We spend an enormous amount of time and energy thinking about something could practically be accomplished in much shorter and more efficient time spans. A reasonable comparison might be watching 4 hours of TV a day -- not immoral, exactly, but certainly a poor use of your time, particularly if it's a consistent choice over months, years, or decades. And yes, I do think some people spend a comparable amount of time thinking about sex if were to add up the hundreds of brief moments that preoccupy thoughts on a daily basis.

It's definitely a corridor of psychology worth looking down. But take Erdős. Fantastic mathematician. Absolutely bonkers. Used amphetamine and coffee to push the boundaries of math. Used to say people who stopped doing math had "died", and people that died had "left". I think he called married people enslaved, too. Completely asexual. His efficiency must be said to have been gained somewhat from the same things you put forth. The problem? No kids.

Sure, there's a quick bypass by using the intellect to realise the worlds needs your offspring and do it in some more... well.. clinical way.

But the opposite is also absurd; the notion that we should return to our most primitive selves, and allow our instincts and impulses to rush forth unimpeded, is clearly untennable in a modern civilization. In fact, I'd argue that the prohibition of many of our basest and most immediate desires is a cornerstone of the advancement of civilization generally. For example, we are clearly built to strongly prefer appeals to emotion and anecdote, and have a poor grasp of statistics and scientific rigor, purely on an instinctual level. It takes deliberate discipline and training to override our instinct to be persuaded by anecdote.

But it is generally perceived to be a worthwhile trade off, because the advancements that the scientific process have allowed far outweigh the value gained by simply allowing our emotional preferences and self reinforcing egos to run unchecked.

Hmm. This is hard to tackle. Do we really have an urge to do immoral things? Or did we do them back when we didn't realise what we were doing? Have I never had the urge to kill anyone because I don't live in an emotionally driven society? Is it because my culture has taught me it's immoral, or have I reached the conclusion myself because I realise what it implies? I doubt our primitive ancestors rarely killed outside of emotional situations. I'm getting close to some debate about what morality is, and I'm not going there.

But I absolutely agree on the note of our cognitive biases. We don't get probability, we favour things that speak our case, we have selective memory and suck at appraisal. There's little I can argue against this. But I tend to look at it in the way of the east. There you have two hugely different approaches to life. Confucianism and Buddhism/Taoism. The first is how to work in a society, the latter can be described as the individual's search for enlightenment when all its social obligations are dealt with, often at an elder age. This is something we have no grasp of even considering. With our fantastic advancements, there are also psychological drawbacks and subtle things about our lives we change. It ends up never leaving us content, we want to capture every moment with a video camera in fear of forgetting it, we generally suck at just being.

If we can incorporate this into an efficient, scientific society, I think we might be onto something real good. But I would still look at tits.

 

[Frankfurt]

My GFs all were fine with it. One of them even has a few Playboy images on her computer.

The way to deal with it is the same as dealing with anything else - talk about it week one of the relationship. Even a "i don't like whining of any kind and i don't like being told what i can and can't do" line will guarantee it won't be an issue later on.

 

[Septimius]

My GFs all were fine with it. One of them even has a few Playboy images on her computer.

The way to deal with it is the same as dealing with anything else - talk about it week one of the relationship. Even a "i don't like whining of any kind and i don't like being told what i can and can't do" line will guarantee it won't be an issue later on.

Gee, that sounds like a healthy relationship.

 

[CountAntonius]

Anyone who doesn't think women objectify men all the same is delusional. Go to your local bar and listen to the shit they spew.

Local bar? You just need to go to the "post of new pic of yourself thread for that.

anyway, It happens just don't disrespect your gf or the women you are looking at by being rude or gawking. I remember being younger and having men shouting cat calls at my mom even as a child it would make my blood absolutely boil and to this day I can't stand when guys do that to anyone. A passing glance is fine.

 

[Arment]

Am I allowed to look at other girls' breasts?

Why yes, yes you are.

I wish we could stop objectifying each other and look at like, ..... , the spiritual essence of a person rather than the material.

I can't masturbate to spiritual essence man.

 

[WanderingWind]

Women objectify men but men do not undergo nearly as much objectification by society. So much of our self-worth is tied into how we look it's ridiculous.

Not to say you're wrong, but Rogaine exists for a reason. It's not a male or female thing. It's a human thing.

 

[Devolution]

Not to say you're wrong, but Rogaine exists for a reason. It's not a male or female thing. It's a human thing.

Looks matter for men as well it's just that the false equivalency throw away posts annoy me and deserve a response.

 

[Mr. Enigma]

Gee, that sounds like a healthy relationship.

How would it not be? I've been with my girlfriend for six years. I don't whine to her. She doesn't whine to me. I don't tell her what to do. She doesn't tell me what to do. We're pretty happy with that system.

 

[Mortrialus]

I wish we could stop objectifying each other and look at like, ..... , the spiritual essence of a person rather than the material.

From this post onward this thread is another Atheism vs. Theism thread! The Mort demands it!

 

[Devolution]

From this post onward this thread is another Atheism vs. Theism thread! The Mort demands it!

I'll worship at your altar bro.

 

[WanderingWind]

Looks matter for men as well it's just that the false equivalency throw away posts annoy me and deserve a response.

You arguably have a point with the sexual objectification, but I do not agree whatsoever that the self-esteem issue is any different for men or women. Again, this is well-trod ground at this point, but whether it's small breasts, or small arms a bald-head, or dumpy love handles, self-esteem being tied up with appearance is just a shitty part of the human condition.

 

[Devolution]

You arguably have a point with the sexual objectification, but I do not agree whatsoever that the self-esteem issue is any different for men or women. Again, this is well-trod ground at this point, but whether it's small breasts, or small arms a bald-head, or dumpy love handles, self-esteem being tied up with appearance is just a shitty part of the human condition.

Human condition but you have to also take into account how much of it is society, since standards of beauty morph and change.

 

[Instigator]

4-page long breast thread has practically no breast pictures to speak of.

Another NEOGAF FAIL

 

[WanderingWind]

Human condition but you have to also take into account how much of it is society, since standards of beauty morph and change.

And that standard changes for both sexes. A guy (JUST USING AN EXAMPLE OKAY GET OFF MY CASE PEOPLE) who was born with a hairy chest, for example, would have had a much better time of it during the 70s. Now, the amount of grooming one has to undertake (AGAIN THIS IS MY FRIEND NOT ME ALRIGHT SHUT UP) before hitting the beach is ridiculous.

Again, not disagreeing with you. Just stressing that it's no different on the other side of the fence for that particular issue.

 

[NoRéN]

And that standard changes for both sexes. A guy (JUST USING AN EXAMPLE OKAY GET OFF MY CASE PEOPLE) who was born with a hairy chest, for example, would have had a much better time of it during the 70s. Now, the amount of grooming one has to undertake (AGAIN THIS IS MY FRIEND NOT ME ALRIGHT SHUT UP) before hitting the beach is ridiculous.

Again, not disagreeing with you. Just stressing that it's no different on the other side of the fence for that particular issue.

Why you gotta lie? I know you have a hairy chest. You shouldn't have added that shirtless pic of yourself when we traded games a while back.

It's a breasts thread. Post yours!

 

[Devolution]

And that standard changes for both sexes. A guy (JUST USING AN EXAMPLE OKAY GET OFF MY CASE PEOPLE) who was born with a hairy chest, for example, would have had a much better time of it during the 70s. Now, the amount of grooming one has to undertake (AGAIN THIS IS MY FRIEND NOT ME ALRIGHT SHUT UP) before hitting the beach is ridiculous.

Again, not disagreeing with you. Just stressing that it's no different on the other side of the fence for that particular issue.

Oh I agree. And haha chest hair.

 

[WanderingWind]

Why you gotta lie? I know you have a hairy chest. You shouldn't have added that shirtless pic of yourself when we traded games a while back.

It's a breasts thread. Post yours!

1) That was supposed to be our little secret.
2) I work out damn near everyday. I don't have breasts. Maybe one day, when I'm old, fat and no longer give a shit...

 

[Deleted member 22576]

There has been only one time I've been having sex and thinking of someone else. It was really really weird. I didn't feel bad about it or anything, it was just very very strange. It was like I wasn't there and was really living this fantasy. I think, obviously when taken to an extreme, fantasizing/visualizing about others will make you less emotionally connected to your spouse. But in general you shouldn't feel the need to "have your guard up" and look the other way when you jog by a lady with nice bouncing boobs. I mean, you shouldn't feel any way about it. It should just be something happens. Leave the self-examination for my pressing issues. I guess theres a difference between lusting/coveting and admiring is what I'm trying to say. Admire away.

 

[NoRéN]

1) That was supposed to be our little secret.
2) I work out damn near everyday. I don't have breasts. Maybe one day, when I'm old, fat and no longer give a shit...

lol

You arguably have a point with the sexual objectification, but I do not agree whatsoever that the self-esteem issue is any different for men or women. Again, this is well-trod ground at this point, but whether it's small breasts, or small arms a bald-head, or dumpy love handles, self-esteem being tied up with appearance is just a shitty part of the human condition.

I'll add to this point.
Some may think that men objectify women much more than women objectify men. However, I'll tell you one thing most men would never do to a woman. A man will never, ever turn down, gawk, look at a woman with small breasts or a "flat" ass, roll their eyes and say something like "Ugh, no way!", turn to their friends and giggle.

Appearance matters for both sexes.

 

[Opiate]

4-page long breast thread has practically no breast pictures to speak of.

Another NEOGAF FAIL

Do you mean success? Because that's how I view it.

I'm imagining you reading a study on Breast Cancer research and thinking, "Science is boring, show me the titties!!!!"

If you really must look at naked breasts, however, I have fantastic news for you: you are currently on the internet, as you read this.

 

[McLovin]

Nope, and it doesn't matter if its your gf either. I remember looking at some chicks ladies ass posterior while hanging out with my sister and she got all pissed. I was like wtf lol

 

[Delio]

My Bf doesn't mine me looking at other guys. Hell we do the whole "Do you think he's hot?" back and forth. I don't think there is any problem with looking.

 

[Opiate]

My Bf doesn't mine me looking at other guys. Hell we do the whole "Do you think he's hot?" back and forth. I don't think there is any problem with looking.

I think it really depends on the couple. My current girlfriend (Five years) is fairly jealous both of any attention I give other women and also of any attention women give me. I'm willing to accommodate her because relationships involve not always getting everything you want. I've also dated women who were more easy going in this regard, in which case I didn't accommodate them because there was nothing to accommodate.

On the flipside, it depends on the guy, as well. I simply don't look around that often, relative to most men. I'm a particularly monogamous person; in the same way you know that you are homosexual and are simply attracted to other men, I know that I just prefer to be with a single partner and focus on her. I've never been interested in one night stands even when I've been available and had the chance. Sex improves with time, for me, personally.

In other words, it depends on how much the guy wants to look around, as well as how much the partner cares about it. For me, if my girlfriend asked me to stop because it simply made her uncomfortable, I'd have no problem with it as it's not a particularly important thing for me anyway.

 

[YoungHav]

This is not a criticism of the moderation, this is more like one of those "What If" comics by Marvel. What if it were up to me? I would have banned Devo a long time ago. I do not see her as a white knight, more of a feminist bully. But that is not what this thread is about so I will leave it alone as of now.

*BenLinusWhat?.gif*

"Backseat Modding" is one of my favorite GAF phrases.

 

[TestMonkey]

Direct stare for a second or two and then onto the face if you're directly interacting with them or the peripheral if you are not.

 

[aznpxdd]

I was secretly hoping this would turn into a tits pic thread. I'm disappointed GAF.

 

[NoRéN]

I was secretly hoping this would turn into a tits pic thread. I'm disappointed GAF.

Like Opiate already pointed out, you're on the Internet.

 

[shanshan310]

Meh, my boyfriend and I have those kind of conversations all the time. That chick is sexy, that guy's pretty buff. Heck, he's even started sending me "tasteful" nude shots for some reason. Us being best friends probably has something to do with it. I would never cheat on him, and I know he's the same. Finding someone attractive /= wanting to cheat. At all. for us, for some people its probably different.

I can understand some girls not being cool with it, and I imagine its pretty hard to convince them to be cool. Its really not their fault though - they can't help it if they feel uncomfortable, even if they know they're being silly. Maybe you haven't given them time to trust you yet? If you ease girls into it (I dunno, maybe if she's reading a magazine and there's a hot celeb lady?) they might take it better. Give them a chance to get comfortable trusting you, and then extend an arm out to her (Isn't *guy in this movie* sexy? etc). If you dive straight in with "I'm allowed to perve on whoever I like! AND imagine myself cheating with them!!" I imagine you'd make most girls uncomfortable.

 

[Concept17]

Like Opiate already pointed out, you're on the Internet.

Indeed.

Spoiler

but gaf + tits means I get the best of both worlds

 

[Captain Sparrow]

It's completely natural to look at breasts. Men are programmed to like them. It's not our choice, it's one of those "she can care for your young" instincts that we cannot control.

 

[NoRéN]

Indeed.

Spoiler

but gaf + tits means I get the best of both worlds

lol
gaf + tits= banned

and that's no good.

 

[OttomanScribe]

It's completely natural to look at breasts. Men are programmed to like them. It's not our choice, it's one of those "she can care for your young" instincts that we cannot control.

Being excited by breasts and feeling compelled to stare at them is two different things. Do people really have tha little self control?

 

[nib95]

Err, yes, my other half would probably mind. Like I'd be a bit weirded out if she was starring at a guys package. It's not that looking at the opposite sex is objectionable, hell we even discuss the attraction of certain people, random or not all the time. Even a quick accidental glance at the obvious isn't really inherently wrong, your eyes were drawn, try not to let them, or look away or else where as soon as you can. But when you feel the need to objectify some stranger, at least in the presence of your other half, it's just sad, unnecessary and disrespectful. My personal opinion anyway.

 

[Dartastic]

Are you allowed to pray to Jesus?

 

[Medalion]

How will I show you how much I love if you if I don't have sex with a lotta different women and then eventually return to you?

Seriously...

 

[squidyj]

Looks matter for men as well it's just that the false equivalency throw away posts annoy me and deserve a response.

Not to suggest equivalency but objectification doesn't have to be on the basis of appearance.


As far as looking at other women I think it's stupid to think that you can successfully stop that sort of behaviour without consequence. Being wired to respond to visual stimulus, to have a sexual response is not something you can make go away and it's not something you should make someone feel ashamed or wrong for having. Of course noticing and looking is a lightly different from ogling, jaw agape. At the same time you don't have to make a big deal out of it, although just how that goes really depends on who you're with.

 

[Delio]

I think it really depends on the couple. My current girlfriend (Five years) is fairly jealous both of any attention I give other women and also of any attention women give me. I'm willing to accommodate her because relationships involve not always getting everything you want. I've also dated women who were more easy going in this regard, in which case I didn't accommodate them because there was nothing to accommodate.

On the flipside, it depends on the guy, as well. I simply don't look around that often, relative to most men. I'm a particularly monogamous person; in the same way you know that you are homosexual and are simply attracted to other men, I know that I just prefer to be with a single partner and focus on her. I've never been interested in one night stands even when I've been available and had the chance. Sex improves with time, for me, personally.

In other words, it depends on how much the guy wants to look around, as well as how much the partner cares about it. For me, if my girlfriend asked me to stop because it simply made her uncomfortable, I'd have no problem with it as it's not a particularly important thing for me anyway.

Well looking at other guys doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. I love my bf and I'm not going anywhere,we just have no qualms with noticing if there is a hot guy around. And if my BF asked me to not look around I'd stop for him.

 

[Opiate]

Well looking at other guys doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. I love my bf and I'm not going anywhere,we just have no qualms with noticing if there is a hot guy around. And if my BF asked me to not look around I'd stop for him.

Absolutely, I understand and wasn't intending to demean you at all. I'm simply saying others might not take your perspective. For you, it does not evoke a feeling of jealousy. For others, it may.

I wouldn't particularly mind if my girlfriend looked, but she certainly would mind if I did. So I don't, because I care about her, and I don't care that much anyway, personally.