For those of you just joining us...
Ah, it feels like ages since I've been able to share a tale of fine misguided obsession with you also-fine NeoGAFfers.
This story begins with our OP, WaterAstro, detailing his months-long not-romance with a woman he felt inclined to assist in her burgeoning career. You see, WaterAstro was quite familiar with how difficult it can be to get a start in his field, so he was very eager to help this young lady with anything she might need... And on an unrelated matter, WaterAstro would like to
plow this woman... Again, totally unrelated to all the interest and help... Just a coincidence.
Astro sought advice from NeoGAF, to determine if he managed to find himself in the dreaded friendzone; but, he also wanted to be clear that both he and his unwitting protege are good, platonic friends, who genuinely care and want to support the other. Now, most would tell you that if such a thing were true then this whole "friendzone" matter wouldn't even need to be asked, since typically real friends get along just fine without constantly worrying about fucking one another. But WaterAstro assured us that he was on the level, and he's helping her just because of how good of friends they are. As evidenced by their engaging of good, platonic friend activities, such as.... holding hands... and telling each other that they love one another.
... Maybe they're from one of those countries where friends kiss each other when they meet up or somethi-- and, nope, looks like he's Canadian... Well, then....
GAF was adamant that the OP was setting himself up for a lot of pain and embarrassment, to which WaterAstro was quick to hurl back a slew of "lol"s and dismissals. He claimed that the majority of GAF's advice was terrible, and that he'd only be listening to the "good advice" of the few who understood his position and urged him to stay the course.
He continued to express that he wasn't hung up on the fact that she shot him down before, and was just wanting to help out a good friend. He totally didn't care whether or not she wanted to be in a relationship with him. Not at all. None whatsoever. That's why he posted the thread and kept bringing it up. To make YOU all look foolish. Not him. No sir. He's the mature one here.
Definitely not caring about that relationship.
They're true friends.
Best buddies. Good pals.
Thick as thieves, those two.
Finally, WaterAstro met up with his own Alisoun (That's a Canterbury Tales reference; that makes this whole thing classy) and laid everything out. How they were both good friends... How he was helping her along... How he wanted to bang. All of it.
But then, much to GAF's surprise, something amazing happened--...!
--Oh, wait. No it didn't. Exactly what everyone would have expected happened.
Well, that's that, really. WaterAstro continues on being best good buddies with this lady with whom he totally doesn't care about being intimate... unless of course she changed her mind, then he'd totally be down-- Un-...unless she was just kidding, in which case he was just kidding too. Haha.
There were a few other small developments with other users having their own drama, which you can go searching for yourself. The rest of the thread was filled with people sharing humorously cringeworthy examples of similar situatio-...
Godspeed, WaterAstro.
I'm Lionel Mandrake. Good night.
