I was a little dismissive in my last post; I kind of want to respond to this list now.
My overarching response is that the 3DS is meant to be a very different piece of hardware from a tablet or a smartphone. It is designed for playing individual high-value games for 30 minutes to an hour a day. By contrast smart devices are designed for running a wide mix software and free/cheap games and quickly snapping between all of these applications.
I own ~10 3DS games and my combined play time with them is a few hundred hours. I am usually only playing one or two games in a given week and I play in 15-60 minute sessions, usually with a few sessions spread across the day. This is made easy by simply closing the clamshell and then resuming where I left off later in that given game.
I do not say this as an apology to anything that is written in the OP, I just think that the OP is largely framing his argument from the perspective of the device being a bad smart-device and not as being a good utilitarian gaming machine.
Archaic download system. Can't download and play at the same time, either I'm stuck on the eShop or I have to close my console.
Games are $30-$40. How many games do you buy a month? This reminds me of complaints about installing software early in the PS3's life. Your point is valid but this has never hindered me. Just close the lid and do something else for 20 minutes.
Horrible account system, why are passwords for my CC between 4 and 8 characters? Please don't tell me nintendo stores them as plain text. Can't think of any other reason to limit password length.
No one can hack into your account because it is tied to your system. The only purpose of those short passwords is allow parents to put restraints on their children.
eShop is awful to navigate and to use.
No argument here. The shop is horrible. That said, I only go to the shop when I want to buy a specific piece of software so this does not really impact my time with the system.
UI is horrible. Ugly and horribly inconsistent. How come I can't fully use the OS without the stylus? Why sometimes B takes me back but other times not? Why I can't use the home button sometimes? What is the deal with the inconsistent buttons all over the place? etc.
How many games do you use at any given time? I turn up the size of icons on the home screen so I can easily switch between the games that I am actively playing. The touch screen has no trouble detecting taps of my fingernails. I only use the stylus when games require it or when I'm in the shop.
It's slow. Not dead slow but orders of magnitude slower than the competition.
I agree that it is slower than iOS/Android but this does not interfere with my gaming. Boot up a game and then shut the lid between sessions.
They try to squeeze every penny out of you! There's nothing free, they sell you clocks and notepads. Even demos have a limited number of uses.
This is not the app store. It isn't meant to be. If you want to download mounds of garbage for free you are welcome to. I am currently very happy to be playing to be playing the new Zelda.
Regarding the clocks, I have no idea why Nintendo sells those. I certainly haven't ever purchased the useless non-game software on the eShop.
What does this even mean? Do you want windows on your 3DS?
Hardware design is awful. The whole purpose of the clamshell design is pointless when the console doesn't close completely. The damn touch screen is a joke and requires you to use a protector since the stylus damages it way too easy. That damn volume slider is a terrible idea and it's too easy to hit by accident, buttons feel very cheap, etc.
-The clamshell design works perfectly for what it is designed for: to protect the screens and to allow you to easily pause and resume gaming sessions.
-I have never had issues with scratching on the touchscreen. My DS showed some wear after a heavy amount of time with the Ouendan franchise but I haven't had an issue with my 3DS's touch screen, though I rarely even use it since most 3DS games focus on control inputs. That said, I have had issues with the top screen getting damgaged by the lower screen. This is a major beef of mine with the system.
-Regarding the buttons and the volume slider, the feel of the system is definitely something below what Apple delivers but I don't think they feel cheap. The 3DS is a clear upgrade over the DS family of systems in terms of look and feel but it is miles apart from Apple's best stuff. The same goes for the Wii U gamepad. Apple's devices also cost a few hundred dollars more. They are great withing the world of videogames on this front but lacking compared to a lot of other consumer products. It will be interesting to see what their next generation of devices ends up looking like.
The ergonomics are terrible. The original GBA was the last decent console design by nintendo which felt right.
The OG 3DS can make my thumb cramp up a bit if I play games that require the shoulder buttons for more than and hour at a time but I think the form factor of the XL is quite nice.
Terrible battery life, probably the worst battery life out of any handheld out there.
The battery life is pretty awful on the OG 3DS. When I relied on that I just got used to plugging it in over night. IMO the battery life on the XL is comparable to my iPhone or iPad. I can use it for a few days without charging it but I still usually plug it in every night.
Any other new owner disappointed by it? iOS gaming lacks some decent input methods but it gets everything else so damn right.
TLDR: It's a $200 gaming system and not an iPad. Its design works well for playing games and it has a fantastic library of games.