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[Laughing Banana]

Oftentimes, and I know this can be such a mindblown-worthy thing for some apparently, people cheat simply because they can cheat and not because some sob stories like abuse or emotional damage or things like that.

Always amusing for me that it'd seem like those line thought that gets pursued every time there's someone condemning cheating in GAF or elsewhere, like it's some indisputable justification that covers every and all acts of cheating.

On-topic: personal data being blown open like this is never okay, but considering what the site is for I find it hard to care about most its users' predicament caused by this.

 

[shadowsdarknes]

A lot of people in this thread seem to only see in black and white in a world where gray exists. Some interesting posts on this last page alone. You can almost pick the folks who aren't married.

Can you paint me a picture where you have the moral high ground by cheating on your spouse?

 

[elty]

You can always ask for an open relationship.

 

[Dicktatorship]

You can always ask for an open relationship.

That's always risky. Just about everyone I know who went for an open relationship ruined the one they already had.

 

[Ayt]

This thread reads like it is filled with a bunch of social shut ins who have no grasp of reality. Infidelity happens. It is inevitable. Half of all marriages end in divorce. How many of those divorces do you think happen without infidelity taking place at some point before the divorce was official? How many marriages do you think carry on with infidelity never having been found out? That isn't even getting into how many relationships that don't involve marriage end in cheating.

I'm not condoning cheating by any means, but you have to be fucking blind to not see that it is a very real possibility in any relationship that you are in.

I've been cheated on once in my life that I am aware of. It was my high school girlfriend of two years. I chose my college based on her. I was going to live with her older brother who was in school in the same city. If I wasn't staying overnight at her place she was staying overnight at mine while we were still in high school. All of the plans I had made for college revolved around her and I honestly thought we'd get married some day. We had talked about marriage a lot with our parents and we had their blessing.

But I got the fuck over it when she cheated on me because that is what people do. In the end, I didn't even really fault her for it because our relationship had begun to break down well before that and her cheating was just a way for one of us to finally say that enough was enough. It is extremely difficult for people to admit that a serious intimate relationship is over. People sometimes need to do the seemingly irrational and cheat to break the spell of the relationship so that both parties wake the fuck up and realize that it is over.

I'm not condoning this website, but holy shit are relationships much more complicated than many people on this site seem to believe. Some of you act like your life would essentially be over if you were ever cheated on.

 

[shanshan310]

That's always risky. Just about everyone I know who went for an open relationship ruined the one they already had.

So, is that more or less ruined than it would be by cheating on the person and lying to them?

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Most of GAf skews to a younger age group, hyper morality and quick fix solutions are bound to fill in the gaps in thier experiances. Life isnt a hollywood movie romance that a lot of their expectations are based on. Just check any gaf relationship problem topic too see how often the obvious solution is presented and ignored.

 

[Pau]

This thread reads like it is filled with a bunch of social shut ins who have no grasp of reality. Infidelity happens. It is inevitable.

No one's saying that it never happens ever. Just that it's not a good thing that it happens, and that people should strive to be better. And that it's not justified when it does. Something existing is not a valid reason for it's continued existence.

But apparently that makes me a social shut in.

 

[Riposte]

People sometimes need to do the seemingly irrational and cheat to break the spell of the relationship so that both parties wake the fuck up and realize that it is over.

Then on the bright side, you can say this sort of leak helps that process along?

 

[Ayt]

Then on the bright side, you can say this sort of leak helps that process along?

In some cases, perhaps. But what if the person merely signed up and then thought better of what they were doing? I was once in a relationship where the temptation of cheating made me realize that I needed to communicate better and my near indiscretion ended up strengthening the relationship.

 

[Dicktatorship]

So, is that more or less ruined than it would be by cheating on the person and lying to them?

By ruined I meant "break ups directly caused by it". I don't know, who says they have to cheat anyway? Instead of either they could just part on amicable terms until they find someone they wouldn't feel like cheating on.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

In some cases, perhaps. But what if the person merely signed up and then thought better of what they were doing? I was once in a relationship where the temptation of cheating made me realize that I needed to communicate better and my near indiscretion ended up strengthening the relationship.

Bacslash bunny said you need to sign up just to read profiles. How many people are on the database just for that reason? What if you signed up just to check up on a spouse, found nothing and could now be the accused?

 

[Ayt]

Bacslash bunny said you need to sign up just to read profiles. How many people are on the database just for that reason? What if you signed up just to check up on a spouse, found nothing and could now be the accused?

Then you are a monster and deserve everything coming to you. #GAFJustice

 

[TheSpoiler]

This thread reads like it is filled with a bunch of social shut ins who have no grasp of reality. Infidelity happens. It is inevitable. Half of all marriages end in divorce. How many of those divorces do you think happen without infidelity taking place at some point before the divorce was official? How many marriages do you think carry on with infidelity never having been found out? That isn't even getting into how many relationships that don't involve marriage end in cheating.

I'm not condoning cheating by any means, but you have to be fucking blind to not see that it is a very real possibility in any relationship that you are in.

I've been cheated on once in my life that I am aware of. It was my high school girlfriend of two years. I chose my college based on her. I was going to live with her older brother who was in school in the same city. If I wasn't staying overnight at her place she was staying overnight at mine while we were still in high school. All of the plans I had made for college revolved around her and I honestly thought we'd get married some day. We had talked about marriage a lot with our parents and we had their blessing.

But I got the fuck over it when she cheated on me because that is what people do. In the end, I didn't even really fault her for it because our relationship had begun to break down well before that and her cheating was just a way for one of us to finally say that enough was enough. It is extremely difficult for people to admit that a serious intimate relationship is over. People sometimes need to do the seemingly irrational and cheat to break the spell of the relationship so that both parties wake the fuck up and realize that it is over.

I'm not condoning this website, but holy shit are relationships much more complicated than many people on this site seem to believe. Some of you act like your life would essentially be over if you were ever cheated on.

Not saying my life would be over, but I wouldn't stay in the relationship with my girlfriend if she cheated. Every relationship is different, and mine is founded on that trust.

If someone else wants to forgive their SO, that's cool. But that's their choice and it's not right to chance hurting someone in the off chance it'll "fix" the relationship.

You call other people social shut ins then tell them to "get the fuck over it" because numbers.

This conversation can never be mature, can it?

 

[Ayt]

Not saying my life would be over, but I wouldn't stay in the relationship with my girlfriend if she cheated. Every relationship is different, and mine is founded on that trust.

If someone else wants to forgive their SO, that's cool. But that's their choice and it's not right to chance hurting someone in the off chance it'll "fix" the relationship.

You call other people social shut ins then tell them to "get the fuck over it" because numbers.

This conversation can never be mature, can it?

What are you talking about? Where did I say people should forgive their significant other for cheating on them? My entire point was that cheating is often the final nail in the coffin of a relationship that realistically should have ended long before that but didn't for various reasons.

If you mean people should forgive cheaters in that they shouldn't hold eternal hatred towards them, I would agree. If you think I was saying people in a relationship should just brush off infidelity, hell no.

 

[Shaneus]

You never saw their commercials?

https://youtu.be/Vfu4WGPZo7c (I think I saw this one.)
https://youtu.be/EwJSD46JSoM (Apparently only shown in Texas?)
https://youtu.be/0s__pivAkhQ

They almost seem like parodies

Hah, we in Australia (and I'm sure other companies) got to revel in this ad. I have it stuck in my head now, thanks to this whole hacking thing.

 

[Wazzy]

Most of GAf skews to a younger age group, hyper morality and quick fix solutions are bound to fill in the gaps in thier experiances. Life isnt a hollywood movie romance that a lot of their expectations are based on. Just check any gaf relationship problem topic too see how often the obvious solution is presented and ignored.

I'm honestly curious as to why having higher morals is somehow a bad thing? Our society's rules exist because of our morals or else we would live in a destructive world. Morals are important and cheating is a gross and wrong thing to do. If you know telling your partner would ruin your relationship then it's obvious you shouldn't be doing it.

 

[TheSpoiler]

What are you talking about? Where did I say people should forgive their significant other for cheating on them?

I took the "because thats what you do" as a sign of manning up and dealing with it regardless of the circumstances backed with the numbers thing. If that's not your intention then I'm sorry.

 

[Ayt]

I'm honestly curious as to why having higher morals is somehow a bad thing? Our society's rules exist because of our morals or else we would live in a destructive world. Morals are important and cheating is a gross and wrong thing to do. If you know telling your partner would ruin your relationship then it's obvious you shouldn't be doing it.

Do you think it is possible for a couple to come out on the other end of infidelity much stronger than they were before, or is the person who was cheated on a moral coward for staying in the relationship?

 

[ZeroGravity]

People sometimes need to do the seemingly irrational and cheat to break the spell of the relationship so that both parties wake the fuck up and realize that it is over.

There's a name for those sorts of people. They're called cowards.

Man the fuck up and and talk to your partner if you're not happy.

 

[MrGerbils]

Soooo, people on twitter are claiming to have found records of Sam Rader (the viral miscarriage video guy) to have a CC record on AM:

https://twitter.com/FucktardIdiot/status/634151963949711360


I did a quick search of email / website / whois registrant search, and it seems to check out? Take it with a decent grain of salt still though..

 

[Ayt]

There's a name for those sorts of people. They're called cowards.

Man the fuck up and and talk to your partner if you're not happy.

You can hold those moral judgements if you like. My main point is that people who have any type of active dating life are likely to end up dating or even marrying one of those moral "cowards" at some point so to put so much weight into cheating is to be setting yourself up for emotional disaster.

 

[After Nature]

It's strange how a lot of people around where I live defend cheating, saying it happens all the time or that it's somehow ok to do if you are in a boring relationship, or want some excitement in your life.

At the same time it's the worst thing ever if your partner is the one cheating.

I've mentioned the hacking of the site and they feel sorry for the cheater but would like the info to be known if it were their partner. Hypocrisy is a strange thing.

It's also weird that people get all upset when their info are stolen but at the same time they hand out even more of their info on facebook, instagram and or via google and Microsoft accounts. Even worse is that those corporations log your location every time you post, search or walk around logged onto some network.

 

[Wazzy]

Do you think it is possible for a couple to come out on the other end of infidelity much stronger than they were before, or is the person who was cheated on a moral coward for staying in the relationship?

The first can only happen with honesty and acceptance. If you refuse to acknowledge your cheating as wrong and hide it from your partner I don't see any relationship coming out stronger. If you cheat once it's gross but at least it can be something that is worked through.

The simple answer to all of this is don't go into a monogamous relationship if you feel entitled to cheat no matter what. You're capable of ending the relationship and you are being a coward the more you do it and the longer you hide it.

 

[Laughing Banana]

You can hold those moral judgements if you like. My main point is that people who have any type of active dating life are likely to end up dating or even marrying one of those moral "cowards" at some point so to put so much weight into cheating is to be setting yourself up for emotional disaster.

I don't really get it: you're not condoning cheating and yet it seems like you're doing everything in your power to promote the idea that cheating really is not a big deal that everyone can just "eh" and shrug off, while there are so many undisputed cases where cheating can really destroy lives.

So you're not condoning it but you think people shouldn't act all emotional at all when they're being cheated on, since it is "inevitable" (really now?) and not such a big deal?

 

[rusticdog]

That blew up more than i thought,

Its sucks because i gave everything i had to my ex wife and she just didnt want sex anymore. I got destroyed financially, give up my house and savings just to have the right to have sex. I didnt cheat but i totally would have. I came out like the asshole,because sex apparently isnt a good enough reason to get a divorce. She broke my trust, because i trusted her to have my best interests and needs in mind and she said fuck that.

When entering into any relationships is it generally agreed upon that you will fulfill each others needs within a reasonable. You two then get financially tied. If the other person up find they are no longer horny or ever want sex for whatever reason. That person has broken your trust. If you cannot come to agreement on how to fulfill your needs assuming all of the others are filled. What do you? Especially if you married and that person is financially dependent on you. Getting a divorce would literally ruin their life. They would get alimony and half your assets even though they are breaking the marriage agreement.Cheating isnt great, it destroys many a relationships. But there are situations that is maybe the best option.

Donald Trumps secret NeoGaf account confirmed!

Seriously though, you need to sit with a therapist if you think marriage is just an agreement for you to get your rocks off.

 

[jimbobsmells]

I'm confused, is this thread about if cheating is ever acceptable or if breaking into a site and bulk leaking sensitive and private information is ok?
Because neither of them are. I'm horrified by some of the reaction on social media. Some need to stop getting hung up on the site's MO. You cannot justify this leak on moral or any other grounds. If it was any other site there would be outrage over what these 'hackers' did.

 

[sphagnum]

If it was any other site there would be outrage over what these 'hackers' did.

The point, however, is that this isn't any other site.

 

[atr0cious]

I'm confused, is this thread about if cheating is ever acceptable or if breaking into a site and bulk leaking sensitive and private information is ok?
Because neither of them are. I'm horrified by some of the reaction on social media. Some need to stop getting hung up on the site's MO. You cannot justify this leak on moral or any other grounds. If it was any other site there would be outrage over what these 'hackers' did.

Can you please quote the people saying this? We've had several people addressing this same line of logic, but as far as I've seen, that's the only place it's turning up. I see a lot of talk about karmic justice or the like, but still no cheerleading that this happened.

 

[Ingueferroque]

getting less funny..

And this is why everyone replying to this thread with some sort of satisfaction or glee, needs to wise up.

An injustice happened, it's not the right time or place to start letting everyone know 'they' deserved this.

 

[riotous]

Can you please quote the people saying this? We've had several people addressing this same line of logic, but as far as I've seen, that's the only place it's turning up. I see a lot of talk about karmic justice or the like, but still no cheerleading that this happened.

Huh?

Right on the first page of this thread there is someone saying "Good news." Others calling it hilarious, that the info should be spread wide, that the hack was ethical... And that's just the first page.

Thread is full of people saying they deserve it; and quite a few are taking it even farther and saying the hack was a good thing.

 

[atr0cious]

Huh?

Right on the first page of this thread there is someone saying "Good news." Others calling it hilarious, that the info should be spread wide, that the hack was ethical... And that's just the first page.

Thread is full of people saying they deserve it; and quite a few are taking it even farther and saying the hack was a good thing.

The hackers being ethical was tongue in cheek, most assuredly. And the one taking about spreading it to make people "squirmy" was talking about the names for getting people caught, not just for them getting doxxed. No one is glad credit cards are out, just the names. That they got doxxed sucks, especially the special cases using it for actual reasons like that post above. But yea, I don't see much wrong with nodding at a cheater getting their comeuppance.

 

[Gordon Shumway]

Silly folks..should have just gotten a divorce. Oh well..

 

[riotous]

The hackers being ethical was tongue in cheek, most assuredly. And the one taking about spreading it to make people "squirmy" was talking about the names for getting people caught, not just for them getting doxxed. No one is glad credit cards are out, just the names. That they got doxxed sucks, especially the special cases using it for actual reasons like that post above. But yea, I don't see much wrong with nodding at a cheater getting their comeuppance.

The person who called it ethical said "Fuck any service that helps cheaters."

And you didn't comment on the guy who said "This is good news."

Thread is full of people like these.

 

[jimbobsmells]

The hackers being ethical was tongue in cheek, most assuredly. And the one taking about spreading it to make people "squirmy" was talking about the names for getting people caught, not just for them getting doxxed. No one is glad credit cards are out, just the names. That they got doxxed sucks, especially the special cases using it for actual reasons like that post above. But yea, I don't see much wrong with nodding at a cheater getting their comeuppance.

Sorry but that's some Mark Zuckerburg type logic right there. Personal info is personal info. As morally unacceptable as cheating is, they weren't doing anything illegal. No-one has the right to their information so people can hound them and destroy their lives. They already did that to themselves, no one needs to add to their burden.

 

[neorej]

Sorry but that's some Mark Zuckerburg type logic right there. Personal info is personal info. As morally unacceptable as cheating is, they weren't doing anything illegal. No-one has the right to their information so people can hound them and destroy their lives. They already did that to themselves, no one needs to add to their burden.

If you cheat, you run the risk of getting caught. Simple as that. A co-worker might rcognize you at the hotel you meet your mistress, or your wife might find an earring in your car where you banged the living daylights out of your latest hookup. In this case, hackers found a backdoor, and exposed you and your cheating ways. The people woh signed up for AM chose their path and all the risks it brought with it. Now they must suffer the consequences.

However, I do feel sorry for people like that gay dude from SA, who used it as a means to get in touch with other gay men and date them, and is now in fear for his life. That's not his fault, that's on SA.

 

[Lazyslob]

i just went to this website and saw a bunch of overweight people in masks. alright

 

[Laughing Banana]

The person who called it ethical said "Fuck any service that helps cheaters."

And you didn't comment on the guy who said "This is good news."

Thread is full of people like these.

Well yes, though the release of personal info is regrettable, I do share the bolded sentiment above. One is not necessarily has to be mutually exclusive from the other, you know?

And this is why everyone replying to this thread with some sort of satisfaction or glee, needs to wise up.

An injustice happened, it's not the right time or place to start letting everyone know 'they' deserved this.

Oh please. It's unfortunate what happens to him but to feel glee about people cheating getting exposed is just basic human nature. Do not align people being happy that some random cheater A/B/C/D are getting exposed as the same as they being happy this SA guy being exposed and/or executed--that is such a really cheap way to use his story as a point to support the sentiment that the whole cheating-as-a-business is justifiable while his situation is an exceptional/very unique one.

Also just realized it is just a random post on Reddit :/

 

[Miles Quaritch]

getting less funny..

Worth noting he later claimed he was about leave but hasn't posted since.

https://www.reddit.com/user/ICouldBeStoned2Death

I remember following this at the time, but forgot to post a thread about it.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

And this is why everyone replying to this thread with some sort of satisfaction or glee, needs to wise up.

An injustice happened, it's not the right time or place to start letting everyone know 'they' deserved this.

One story that may or may not be true is why why people need to wise up? You're putting too much stock in an unverified story.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

I'm honestly curious as to why having higher morals is somehow a bad thing? Our society's rules exist because of our morals or else we would live in a destructive world. Morals are important and cheating is a gross and wrong thing to do. If you know telling your partner would ruin your relationship then it's obvious you shouldn't be doing it.

Interesting word to use there. Higher how?

 

[THRILLH0]

Welp, my email showed up despite having never visited the site.

Tried a password reset but haven't got any sort of email from them.

 

[FyreWulff]

Welp, my email showed up despite having never visited the site.

Tried a password reset but haven't got any sort of email from them.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=175961211&postcount=593

 

[Miles Quaritch]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=175961211&postcount=593

Well then.

So what did they do? Trawl other sites for email addresses and then falsely claim those were from Ashley Madison?

That seems so stupid. What's the end game?

 

[jimbobsmells]

Well then.

So what did they do? Trawl other sites for email addresses and then falsely claim those were from Ashley Madison?

That seems so stupid. What's the end game?

Extortion?

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Welp, my email showed up despite having never visited the site.

Tried a password reset but haven't got any sort of email from them.

Sure.. #tellittothejudge

 

[Opus Angelorum]

What's the end game?

They can create fake profiles using genuine addresses.

 

[Laughing Banana]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=175961211&postcount=593

Well then.

So what did they do? Trawl other sites for email addresses and then falsely claim those were from Ashley Madison?

That seems so stupid. What's the end game?

But the Guardian has said that they have confirmed that the e-mails their reporter used for news purposes in Ashley Madison indeed do appear.

Ars technica also said its genuine.

 

[jimbobsmells]

If you cheat, you run the risk of getting caught. Simple as that. A co-worker might rcognize you at the hotel you meet your mistress, or your wife might find an earring in your car where you banged the living daylights out of your latest hookup. In this case, hackers found a backdoor, and exposed you and your cheating ways. The people woh signed up for AM chose their path and all the risks it brought with it. Now they must suffer the consequences.

Please, we need to seriously divorce* the fact that this site enabled cheating from the hacking. I'm not condoning cheating in any way, but anyone saying that these people deserve this look seriously hypocritical when any other doxxing is considered wrong and / or illegal.
*pun not intended

 

[Ikael]

This tread is the final battle of moral righteousness gaf VS anti-monogamy-gaf. A true clash for the ages.

Cheating your partner can be understandable in some cases, but that doesn't make it justifiable. If you have a problem with your partner you talk it out, or you walk it out. Cheating is the lame bandaid that solves nothing and only makes the problem grow bigger in the long run while harming other people in the process too. That shit is indefensible.

However, I find the glee that many people have from knowing how some cheaters have been outed to be downright miserable. Cheaters are, in the big scheme of things, small potatoes. They're not murders, rapists or thieves, nor you have not been directly affected by these dudes. The level of pettiness shown here disgust me way more than any kind of cheating. Urgh.