The NPCs/quest/restoration mods always struck me as pretty rubbish and amateur when I tried them. IIRC the banter pack is fan dialogue too? Which is also not interesting to me. Dungeon Be Gone is straight up skipping content; hard to argue for this being the 'definitive version.' Fixpack, Widescreen and TUTU are all covered by the EE and are just tweaks.
So that leaves us with Ascension and Tactics. Ascension is pretty great and they've talked about maybe incorporating it into EE. Tactics is a matter of personal preference but it's not my thing.
I can understand that you like these things a lot more than I do, but I think it's pretty hard to make the case that these mods constitute an obviously superior version that people would be crazy not to play. The core gameplay, story and etc. from the original game is so much more important to the experience.
Personally, I just found most of the mods for BGII to be invasive and annoying rather than adding quality content. Only the various tweaks/fixes have ever had a lot of value to me.